about

Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

So I live in Canada and I am part native (my mom was half so I'm a quarter)and wanted to know if I can get a status card. I'm eligible, and does my mom have to have a status card in order for me to get one?

I lived for a while in Canada in a native community and from what I know, there were many people who had a parent who was a half native. Made some friends with folks who were a quarter native and they had a status card. I think status requirements may be up to rules of your particular First nations band. Not knowing what province you are in, I did a search to see if there are any on line contact sites to learn of registering and proof needed for native status. I found one site listed for Alberta.

They make some good points on there and this is for Alberta so if you are in another province, you may want to search for a site for your province and if you can't find something, at least ask the Alberta people if they can redirect you. Here's that link:

http://humanservices.alberta.ca/AWonline/IS/4841.html

[view]

I consider myself a bi sexual male to female crossdresser bordering on transgender. On four occasions 2 years ago I went out to an area in town where hookers work and prostituted myself. Three of the times were for a few nights each and the forth was for about 5 weeks. I needed money for food and rent and this was the easiest way to get some money. Now two years later I am still living full time as a female but I have a sugar daddy paying for everything. The thing is that I really found working as a prostitute exciting and a huge turn on for me. I enjoyed being with all of those guys and loved bringing them to orgasm. I am not ashamed for doing it and do not care who knows that I am an ex prostitute. Even girls I date find it exciting and want to have sex with me just because of my hooking. Should I just go ahead and do it again?

I don't think you'd want to do anything that jeopardizes your position with the person who is your "sugar daddy". You didn't mention what arrangement or boundaries there is to this relationship or even if it is sexual.
If you have made promises to be the only sexual partner for your sugar daddy, then you would need to have a talk with him and mention how you feel and let him know you want to return to doing this.

If you do have the freedom to do as you wish, it is still a nice but also important gesture to mention you plan on doing this again. Even with protection, unless you are using a dental dam which sure can ruin the atmosphere, you know something can be contracted from oral sex and then passed from your mouth to your 'sugar daddy' and he may want a choice of knowing whether there are connections through you to any other person sexually.
This decision of yours really all depends on what kind of relationship you have with this other person. If all's okay on the home front, then there's no reason why you can't do this if you want to...just please be careful though.

[view]

I enjoy the stability and trust of monogamy--and while my husband of 3 years has had fantasies that involve him watching me have sex with other men, he hasn't ever been after other women for himself, even in fantasies--and our sex life is fantastic. I feel happy and safe in our marriage. We have a newborn baby and a "nanny" who is a 20 yo distant relative of mine volunteering to help me in the 5 months my husband will be away with the army in exchange for cost of living and a few large purchases she'd been wanting, which is much less than daycare since I'm in college and not working. My husband's leaving in 3 days. We liked her from the start. She's very sweet, gentle, nice, fun, and just beyond great with the baby.

I know her inclination is bi/poly, and I'm fine with whatever she wants to do in her sex life, but that's not my turn on. My husband came across her blog, and while it anonymized us, she was 100% clear that she plans to f*ck my husband "if he's game." Her examples of his initiating flirtation during the 5 days she's been here were unequivocally benign friendliness with maybe a dash tone-deafness... and I was present for all of them listed. (Before you cry naïveté, HE showed ME the blog the second he saw it, obviously he's not trying to send below the radar messages)

I feel angry, threatened, disrespected, but for what? She has a crush and she's fantasizing, nothing has happened and nothing will; he's leaving in 3 days and there's a lot of sh*t he has to do still, be practical. What's more, she's not trying to displace me, she doesn't want a husband or monogamy, and in fact, she also wrote things that may be fantasies about me, at least my husband is convinced of it & loves the idea, of course, because he likes the idea of other people wanting me, but him having me as his wife. I could see why he thinks that it's about me. Her clear emphasis is on him, however, and I do NOT like the idea of other people plotting to screw my husband.

He's a bit cavalierly confident in us. While he comes from a stable home and finds it inconceivable that we could divorce, I come from a f-ed up family full of steps and exes (remember how I said at the beginning that our houseguest is a distant relative? Also from a broken home) and I panic at the reality of how quickly people leave each other. Our marital commitment is so deeply important to me that her lack of respect for it makes me feel on edge and distant from her, and yet I don't want to be cold to her, because she's not trying to hurt me and I feel genuinely sorry for her because she's in many ways inexperienced and has got her heart just hanging off her sleeve. To interpret such small courtesies from my husband as encouragement is a sign of a lonely girl, a little delusional, even. Is this dangerous, though?

My husband says I should just be aware, but not alarmed because there isn't a threat, and to just let her stay to help me while he's away. He doesn't want to make a big deal about it with her or let her know we know because it's not worth making things weird when she'll find another crush quickly as she makes more friends in the area. I want to put it on the table and make our expectations clear. She has repeatedly raised the topic of her attraction to couples our age and I've immediately changed the subject. I'd originally worried that the awkwardness would be her having a crush on me--we thought she was more gay than straight. If that's still a possibility, I'm just not sure how to elegantly divert a crush when we live together. What I hate most is that small part of me looking forward to my husband leaving to make her quit mooning over him. I don't want our last few days together for the rest of this year to have any eagerness to see him go roiling beneath the surface. I feel really conflicted.

Should I worry? Should I confront her about this? Should I kick her out? What's the worst that could happen?

Hello dear. Someone wrote from your advice account asking advice a yr ago regarding not wanting anyone but your husband. Just wondering if it was you.
I answered on that question because i have some experience/background with alternative sexual situations.
I am going to trust that any talk about sex with others has been relegated to just the fantasizing arena and neither of you has any inclination to go after someone else. If you know he has no want or secret desire to experience something as a fling or a 3 some, then you should have nothing to worry about regarding this girl.

Were you two checking her out by looking up her web accounts? Sounds like both of you were surprised by what she wrote in the blog. You shouldn't feel bad for having come across the info but it's un-necessary to throw that in her face as a tactic to warn her off.
Basically it sounds alot like the fantasizing of a young gal having a crush on an older guy and these kinds of crushes happen regardless of whether the guy is single or married. She did say "if he's game", which might feel threatening to you that she will attempt to go offer herself to him but there's no way to know how serious she really is. Many people say things that they are not seriously considering, like: "I'm gonna kill you".
Teen girls normally go through a period of time where they desire approval that they are pretty from who ever is the resident male in their life, usually Daddy. This occurs usually during puberty when girls want the attention of boys their age and want to know they are truly beautiful and desire-able to males and the closest male in their life is usually dad. I was more clingy with dad and wanting his approval, not in a sexual way though. Maybe due to the life she had growing up, she never got that so she is still trying to find that approval.
There is no way to know if she would have the guts to approach your husband this way.
Have a talk with hubby about your feelings and concerns if you haven't told him whats going through your mind. Give him the opportunity to lay your concerns at rest.
There is no need to do as you stated " I want to put it on the table and make our expectations clear." over a suspected possibility of her making a sexual advance on your husband. That only becomes a necessity if and when she does. She may not be the only one who ever attempts this if she does get bold enough. Married men will always have a possibility of someone other than his wife coming after him. Whether the husband is susceptible to making himself available to another depends on if he is totally happy and satisfied with his wife and wife with him, and has no desire for experiencing any other woman in real life. I have a husband who's totally satisfied with me. He tells me all the time how sexy I am to him and how he always dreamed of finding some one like me and how I totally satisfy him. I know this to be true by his actions and reactions.
What you need is enough assurance from the husband how special you are to him so that you can also have the confidence that no one could ever turn his head. If thats not an issue, then you are simply over-thinking this and letting negative thoughts rob you of your peace.

The only real concern I would have would be whether I could trust her to do well with baby.
But do talk with hubby. Its important to talk to him because it was important enough for you to write us concerning it. He needs to take this seriously, if you are bothered by it and discuss this from all angles with you. Good luck.

[view]

18/f

I want to stay the night this weekend at my boyfriends house.
My boyfriend has commented recently that I never go to his place (20 mins by train) but he always makes the effort to come to mine.

We've never stayed over at each others homes before. We've been dating for 7 months.

My mum is pretty strict. Whenever I even suggest that my boyfriend wants me to come to his house just for the day, she'll say "Well I'd prefer it if she came here for the day"

But I can't allow this anymore because it's making my boyfriend upset and his family think I don't like them.

How do I encourage my mum to let me stay over at his house? I mean his parents will be there, I'll bring a sleeping bag, I know I'll be safe but she is highly overprotective!

Depending on where you live, you may already be of legal adult age and the age of consent (if you were wanting to become sexually active) In most places in the USA it is 18, a few states earlier, in the UK most places are at 16. Its 18 in Australia too. If you are truly 18, then you are old enough to make your own decisions.
This is one of those situations thats hard to go through, especially if you really love mum and have a terrific relationship with her. You don't want to risk hurting or angering her and causing trouble to your relationship.
If you are living with mum, I can understand that parents of adult children can still demand that their house rules are obeyed as long as you live there...but thats "House" rules..whatever takes place under their roof. So she can say she doesnt want your boyfriend to come visit.

However, when she tells you that you may not go stay with him and his family for a visit, that is crossing the line. She may or may not realize she's doing this, trying to continue the raising/training mother role but it is time for her to switch roles to becoming more of your 'sounding board' than mummy with rules and restrictions for you.
You are right that you can't allow her to give you orders anymore. So you need to have a talk with mom. State that you are an adult, albeit a young one but still, you need to experience making your own decisions from now on. If you want any of her input, you will ask her for it. If you do not ask, it means, you do not want it. You still love her, cus she is mom. However this is about more than just the issue of you wanting to go visit the boyfriend, which you are going to do, this is about taking over the running of your own life. You will obey and house rules while living under her roof. But the authority to enforce any rules ends at the edge of her property. Anything where else you go, anyone you w ant to visit, any classes you take or any direction you decide to go, are all your choices from now on.
Moms have difficulty with this transition more so if they have poured their entire life into their children and have no life of their own..thats not your fault. Also, first child to become an adult or independant or leave home has the hardest time of it. I was the oldest and it was harder for the parents to both let me leave than with siblings.
So don't be surprised if mum takes it really hard, gets angry or makes ultimatums in order to try to retain control. Once parents recover from being faced with having to go to this transition, in the end, they love you no matter what and will come around. Mine did, all my friends parents did.

So go visit the boyfriend and his parents and enjoy yourself dear.

[view]

So I'm 16 and I might have some feelings for this guy. He's a year older than me and we text a lot but hes hard to read and I don't know if he likes me back. He gets jealous easily when I'm with or talking to other guys. And he always wants to hang out. What do you think? Does he like me?

I might ask, how do you know he gets jealous? What does he say or do? But yes, sometimes if a guy gets jealous when other guys are talking to a girl they like, it can mean they are interested in the girl for themselves.
You did not say you two are dating yet, just that you might have feelings for him. If he's acting jealous when you two are not even dating yet, it won't be any better if you do date him. Jealous guys become worse when dating. I went to school with one who was just a friend in a class. I thought he was a nice guy just from observing him at school and guys with this problem can be nice in all situations until it comes down to a girl they have a claim on 'in their mind at least'. After we graduated, I ran into him while in line waiting for a movie. He had a girlfriend with him. Any time her glance happened to fall upon a guy other than my fiancee, he ordered her to stop looking at other guys or she'd have to pay. I have also read about guys who do this. This could be a sign that he may become very controlling or any female who decides to date him.

I remember how special it feels when a guy first pays this kind of attention to you, so you think they might like you. Its a good feeling to know you are attractive and have a great personality to catch a guys attention. Jealousy however is a negative attention...just a little warning dear.

If he asks you and you decide you do want to date him, before you say yes, set some ground rules and be strong enough to stick with them and the consequences you give him. Weak girls who don't will get abused and misused, not taken seriously.
An example for a rule and boundary might be, "I will date you but know that I will break it off the first time you show me that you can not treat me nicely. I have witnessed you acting jealous. You will not control me and tell me what I can do, what people I can talk to or spend time with, whether female or male. I am dating to learn what I like and don't like about guys. If you don't treat me well, I'll keep in mind the things I dont like, break it off and improve with the next guy I date. If you aren't okay with this right now, then I will not date you.
Of course, use words that are comfortable and sound like you but do give him a warning that he must treat you right. All people can pretend and be on best behavior only for so long before reverting to their real self once they think they have you. Its at that point that they mess up royally that you break it off. Why am I adament about this, I also married a guy who was on best behavior and became controlling and verbally abusive after I married him at 20.
A guy who is jealous is actually insecure about himself and thats why he acts jealous. He has a low self image and such. Maybe nothing bad will happen, but i felt it important to say something dear.

[view]

So I am almost 16 years old and my first car is being shipped and on its way. I am getting a silver 2009 Mitsubishi Eclipse. Is this a cute car/good choice?

I am assuming that the parents chose and ordered this car for you and you have no idea what it looks like. Here is a link to a wiki page with photo of the car.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mitsubishi_Eclipse_--_09-08-2009.jpg

If I am wrong and you just want our opinion as to whether this car is cute, yes it is.

[view]

Hello i am shivani a student my chemistry teacheralways gibes a smile towords me & he touched my hand 3times accidentally he look at me for long time while teaching
And sometime he ignore me is he flirting with me or i thinl much more

I have known teachers to focus their eyes in a certain direction, focusing on a student or two in that area while talking to class because it feels most comfortable and natural to do so. I have felt I was stared at in a class or two myself. I don't know the circumstances under which he touched your hand 3 times but you did say it was accidently so people don't touch others accidently. They may intentionallly do so meaning to make it look accidently. From what you've written, I see nothing to think a teacher is flirting with you. I would just ignore such thoughts.

[view]

I've always had irregular periods. My first one started a few months ago. However, I cannot remember when my last date was, and I just want to get my next period so I can remember when I last had it. Is there anything I could do to make it come sooner? Other than any pills.

Irregular periods are more common than you may think. But I've never heard of a way to get them faster. Not sure if you meant getting the next cycle sooner cus of an event you are attending or just wanting it to become regular but your body will eventually get used to the hormones of puberty and get on a more regular cycle. I got my period at 14 and for the next 2 years it was very irregular. Read this link to a site that addresses this issue.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html#cat20015

[view]

19/f

So I've written before.

Well I've been talking to a few nice guys. But the ones I seem to enjoy talking to live about an hour away. The thing is, I wouldn't mind meeting half way and just get like coffee or something for like an hour.
I don't feel comfortable driving all the way to where they live or have them drive all the way here.
But one guy I've been talking to asked me if I was into cars. I said, "Not really, I don't know much about them." And he wanted to take me to some car show thing even though I wasn't that interested. But I said we can just meet for coffee. But then he said he doesn't like coffee. Anyways, I wouldn't have mind going to the car show thing, but it would be the first time meeting him and I'd only want to hang out for like an hour. I told him that I just didn't feel comfortable with it because it is the first time meeting and all that. He just kept asking why.
Another guy I was talking to lives an hour away and wanted to take me to the beach, but that's an hour away too. And I don't want to be alone with a guy in their car when I don't really know them. I just told him we should do something simple. He told me it is simple. I told him I just wanted to be safe and all that and thought he'd understand. But he didn't seem to understand that.

What is with this? Like each guy wants to go to the beach but that means being in their car. And I thought most guys would understand a girl would be concerned for her safety?
Maybe I'm just frustrated.

First meet with internet dating to me is not supposed to be a scenic place or somewhere with distractions such as looking at old cars instead of one on one chat. I always met at a place conducive to conversation. I chose coffee shops but then there was no long distance like an hour away for any of us. If a guy was really willing to meet, he could by a chai tea or Italian soda at a Starbucks or other coffee shop. But meeting anywhere that there are lots of people and not stuff for sight seeing will work. The guy should be accomodating for the girl so she is comfortable with a meeting place. If you meet at a restaurant parking lot and then follow him in your car to another populated area with lots of people around, thats another way to stay safe. Tell the guy you are doing so to be safe. If he can't understand that or takes offense, you can strike him off the list. Its a guy who will take offense easily no matter what if he can't put himself in your shoes and understand. If you are talking to guys around your age, perhaps most of them haven't figured out yet how to be accomodating and understanding. Keep trying. I was online looking a couple years before I met my sweetie. Good luck.

[view]

I was a very large teen,not fat just extremely large chested.No one ever believed my age I always had to pay full price for the movies. We were very poor my father was very abusive and drank.

mom worked very hard and I had 2 younger brothers that I looked out for.I didn't want to finish high school because everyone would tease me about my chest so I took care of the house and my brothers

My father would come home from work 3:30 mom would get in at nine. My brothers would stay with family after school and come in by 7pm. I'll try to make this short my father raped me from 13-18 when he died. I never told and I didn't have any problems.

I started working I met my husband and had a wonderful life. My husband passed away 10yrs ago I miss him so ,I had cancer heart attack and thank god Im fine in my health dept. I have not remarried or dated Im 60yrs old now.

My problem is I kept dreaming of my father and wishing he was alive to have intercourse again.Why? Am I not normal ,If I would want someone to dream about I think It should be my husband not the rapist,and Im feeling like I enjoyed him?

Iam a grown women why should I feel like this? Are there any others that had a experience like mine or even a little one.

Daughter

Dreams don't always make sense. It is our subconscious mind that is in control when we sleep and runs our dreams. So anything that we may be feeling can come into the dream in a distorted way. Very seldom does it have any meanings that can be taken literally. So it may be that you are missing your husband, the companionship and the intimacy and a dream can combine that with a scenerio that does not relate such as the rape.
Personally, I find myself dreaming still more of my childhood scenerios than of my husband and adult life and I am 55.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it, it doesnt mean you are abnormal.
If you are thinking you might want to date for companionship and/or maybe more, it's not too late. Five years ago I found and married my 2nd husband. So glad I did.

As far as strange dreams, I did have a reoccuring dream however mine was not drawing from any experience in this life. I dreamt I was in the home I grew up in, babysitting my siblings when a group of bad people like gang folk approached the back of the house. I went to close the door but found it has shrunk and didn't fit the door frame. I tried to hold the door back but they forced their way in. At that point, something in me just took over, I felt strong and capable and grabbed one guy at a time as they attacked me by hand and snapped the neck of each one. I was a Christian at the time and felt guilt to be thinking of killing people by snapping their necks evenk tho they were invading the home. It was a repeat dream several times a month.
It wasnt until later years that I came to believe in reincarnation that I asked God again why I had these dreams and I got an answer: tHAT in a past life I was a strong male warrior responsible for protecting and defending my people and I killed by bare hand, strong enough to snap necks. God said, thats why I dreamt i Was that man and did what I did. All that was left was to be able to forgive myself for killing, because the killing was done out of self defense, not for bad reasons. When I understood and forgave myself, the dreams stopped, and I haven't had any since. Its been about 15 yrs now.

[view]

I lost my best friend, she is insanely mad at me, and the whole thing is over. Like, the thing passed and there is no reason to be mad at me anymore, how do I get over it, because these days have been very depressing. How?

Another thing you didn't mention is age. The reason I wonder is if you both are still going through puberty, her emotions could be naturally haywire right now and it could take some time.
Some girls go through severe emotional changes and any little thing can set them off. Trust me, at some point, if this is the cause, its very likely she'll come around and seek your friendship again once she;s processed thru the worst of it.

If i guessed wrong and
If there are certain circumstances that happened and a time frame too, as has been mentioned, that might be helpful to possibly give you some advice.

[view]

Hi, I'm 17, female, and a kinda past love of mine is coming to visit soon, I haven't seen him in two years. While he's here I want to get him to fall in love with me? Any tips?

There is no guaranteed way to make any person do anything they don't want to do. Thats just life. Everyone has a will and a choice. If there really was a way to make a person fall in love with you, the the nerdiest guy in school you can't stand, lets say he believes he's in love with you, then he could use this special trick to get you to fall in love with him, right?

So, the best thing you can do is to be yourself. You want someone to fall for the real you, not the person you are pretending to be, because if a guy fell for the false you--meant to catch a guy and then you went back to being yourself, you'd lose the guy. Nope, no one is able to continue on a false personality long term, its impossible because it takes such focus with your conscious mind and lots of energy to do so that everyone at one point or another lets the facade slip.

One thing that is attractive to all guys is a girl with self confidence.
Another trick, guys love to feel needed, like they can help you with a task. Asking for a guys help and letting him know how much you appreciate him will draw a guys attention to you more.
But in the end, its a matter of chemistry and if you are able to connect on that level. Some times its truly only felt one way. Good luck

[view]

I m virgin we both were bathing n he washed his penis before bathing with water n hand with detol and then we started.bathing. And soap were also used we both took a bath for more tgan 5 minutes abd than I was ob him and sitting on him we both were in underwear and then some motions was there as per him no ejaculation was there but. It was just 30 sec I was sitting on him so for precum I m not sure.. Can a girl become oregnent from this situation plzzz tell me 100% sure ans me only 21 f student please reply fast

No you are not pregnant. Sperm needs to be on the skin near to or in the vagina or transfered there by fingers. Sperm doesnt live long outside the body and doesnt live long enough to travel through clothing. I understand this is a real valid concern and being scared each time you do something can raise your stress levels and stress is something that can delay a period causing you all the more to think you might be pregnant.
I would advise you getting your hands on a book at bookstore, through library or even read on line about the physiology of our bodys and the reproductive organs. I know that few schools teach health ed anymore so I dont blame you for not knowing. But your are an adult now so its time that you decide to take self educating on this subject serious so you can enjoy your sexuality with a boyfriend. If you are thinking of going further, I suggest also visiting a Planned parenthood for birthcontrol. >They are also a good resource for guiding sex education and can point you in the right direction.

[view]

I am married with 3 children and 1 step-child. I should start by saying that my mother is not a mean person. So here goes, my mother is a widow of 3 years and I know she can get lonely at times. I try to include her in things we do as a family. If it's just me and her, I constantly hear about how my husbands family thinks they are perfect and how we always do stuff with them (which she was invited to but said no). I know his family isn't perfect but they are nice to me and my children and that's all that matters. If my children do anything wrong, she tells me that I need to punish them in a certain way. If I try to talk to her about some of the things that bother me, I constantly hear about how much she does for me and the kids and I don't appreciate her. She still treats me like a child and it's driving me crazy. I want to talk to her about it but I know it will be an ugly scene and she doesn't listen to what I have to say. How do I let her know that I'm an adult and can take care of myself and family without starting a huge fight? The last time I tried, she barely spoke to me for a month and laid a huge guilt trip on me and I end up apologizing just to end it. Also, we work at the same place and she sometimes tells my personal business that I don't want shared. She thinks she's being funny but I don't find it funny. Any advice is appreciated!

I like what adviceman said so I wont repeat any of that. I thought of something else since you said she gets lonely at times.

I don't know if she has close friends she see's regularly. If not, perhaps she needs to reach out and make new friends and start by looking in circles of people who have some of the same interests. My mother in law once retired, decided to join a book club at the library and her group would decide on a book to all read and discuss it. along the way she made some friends. Some are into crafts and would do well joining a quilting club. Or someone who loves to cook and wants to learn to cook a new cuisine could make new friends at a cooking class. You might suggest something like this out of a concern that she may be lonely. Or, there is no reason why she can not try a singles club or internet dating and find someone just for companionship. It's worth a try to bring up, even if she rejects it initially. But if she is an fairly social and outgoing person, she may decide to give something like that a try and not be as dependant upon feeling needed just in the family. It is good to be needed and wanted by others too such as friends or a significant other. Good luck.

[view]

I am a 20 year old university student. My first year I had quite a few friends but a few of them left and the rest of the group just split. I sit in lectures alone and just leave campus early so I don't have to sit by myself. I never had this problem in school, I was actually quite popular, none of my friends from high school go to the university that I go to, and this is really beginning to affect me. I'm not a socially awkward person, I actually hold a conversation really well, the problem is, my campus is so huge that if you speak to a person you're most likely never going to see them again. I am in a four year relationship, and I'm becoming afraid as I realize my need for company is suffocating him. I'm often jealous at the amount of acquaintances that he is. I guess my question is, how do I cope with this situation? How do i begin to feel better about myself?

If the university is that large and its hard to meet people you can see on a consistant basis, then it would seem to me that school is not the best place to be looking for new friendships. I am social too and understand how important it is to have even a couple friends.
So you will need to look for friends outside of school perhaps in clubs or activities where you might have something in common. I don't know how much spare time you have but if you can carve out an evening once a week, then meetup.com is a good place to try. Its not a dating site or singles activity site. Its a place where you can find groups set up for people to meet each other over a common love or topic, etc. I have even seen meet up groups for moms who want someone to go taking baby in strollers for walks together. Some are fun, some more serious such as a natural healing/Reiki group my daughter joined and made friends at.
Of course it's important to feel good about ourselves and one of the quickest ways I know to feel good about myself is take focus off myself and go do something nice for someone else, perhaps helping out at a soup kitchen or some other sort of volunteer work. An especially rewarding one is being part of Big sisters and being assigned to a young girl who needs attention and a role model/friend. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck.

[view]

I am a fifteen year old girl, I am 5'4" and I weigh 112.6. I really need to lose some weight, I was thinking 10 pounds. I just feel so fat. I want a toned body, as well as a flat stomach. Any suggestions?

This is not just my opinion but according to the average weight index, you are at a normal weight.
Here's a link to a weight chart, which takes into consideration whether your skeletal frame is thin, or the bones of medium size circumferance or big as that will add weight to a person without them being overweight.
If you want to get toned up, our muscles can always benefit from that. Yoga is actually a good way to do so and something you can do on your own. Look for yoga video's on youtube and try it. If you like it, you might consider joining a class. Swimming is good to and the local pools are inexpensive and many have cut rates for those who are residents of the neighborhood...talk a girlfriend into going with you. Gyms are great too and girls can do weight lifting too. Things like bike riding, running, jogging exercise the legs more but are also good aerobics for the heart, something to consider in the total body health.
Lots of teen girls are extremely concerned about their body image. It's due to societys perception of what is beauty and what makes us more accepted and liked or even desirable to the opposite sex.
The only people who will tell you that you are not good enough as you look are those to seek to earn a profit from selling you something that you get brainwashed to believe will make you slimmer, more popular, help you fit in, be part of the popular crowd and gain self confidence. Not all males believe what media portrays as normal, beautiful females at any age. Yes, theres some guys who seek model or tv star beauty which is only a lie, some of the actresses if you see them without makeup are more homely looking than any average girl you can point at on the street. Its all an illusion. There are guys who have no preferance to body type and shape and also no problem with a girl being a little overweight to lots overweight. What all healthy minded men have in common that they like most in a female is self confidence and good self image. If she has that, she will be attractive to quite a few guys. Maybe not all because we all have personal preferances, like for example, I am attracted to guys who are brunette over blondes or redheads.
Try not to worry about your weight dear. In fact, your body is still changing and your looks facial and body will change some. There are some weight charts that do not include females under the age of 18 if you are going by age for that very reason. Relax, and work on your self confidence. If you want some ideas on how to do that, write me again. Good luck.

[view]

if any girl got her period within 10 days after sex...is their any chances of getting peragnent?

No, if theres a period, she's not pregnant

[view]

Boyfriend 68 and im 65..We are renewing and old relationship from over 30 years ago.
He calls every night for past 8 months and sees me when he can..
He bitches about spending the lowest amount of money when we are out...Yet he gambles alot.
He doesn't buy me presents yet buys presents for his friends..
What is with this man?

When we get older, we tend to get set in our ways and there's little chance of us changing. This man is not hiding what his priorities are....gambling and impressing his friends. Dating coaches explain that a male can have several things that are important to him and not to worry if you're one of the top priorities in his life. If you don't make it to being one of the top three, then you aren't as important to him as you may think or as he may profess you to be.

[view]

People all have their own ideas about beauty I suppose...but why are some looks generally favored in my area over others? I live in a rural community where most of the guys grow up working in a watermelon field. We have a population of about 2000, and 7 churches, all Christian and divisions of Christianity. I don't consider myself hideous, much to the disagreement of people around here. I was with friends the other day and some things this guy said just really bothered me...ex) we were outside and he looks over and leans back and smiles and says'nothing better than a blonde in the sun' and then looks over at the other two, one being me, an goes back to basking himself in the sun and all of his sweaty glory. Is it like this other places? They actually tend to favor the traditional blonde hair blue eyes here. No one else with any other combination gets looked at really. Naturally I am blonde hair and blue eyes but I dye my hair a lot and generally people Frown upon not being natural here. Is it like this everywhere or is my town so afraid of change they have come to see one look as more attractive then the others? I really don't understand people

The only time I've ever heard of someone thinking blond haired blue eyes as being superior and better and to be desired is when Hitler pushed for an Aryan race which was to be strictly blond and blue eyes even tho he was neither.

With 7 churches in the area who teach unconditional love, I highly doubt your community has a favoritism like this going on. It may be more how you perceive things. If the males with such attitudes are around mid to late 20's or younger, then their attitudes are due to being immature, unknowledgeable, and likely just 'full of themselves'. If you fall into that age range, then its a good chance that looks and acceptance are BIG to you, finding your place in society, your self image and self confidence may be suffering. It can happen at any age tho. But my advice is to not pay any mind to people like that. People with set beliefs, and narrow minded views are not my choice of people to want to win friendship and attention of nor would their opinions carry any water with me. It shouldn't with you either. Go find people to befriend who are accepting of all, they do exist.

[view]

hey, am a highschool senior ,i want to ask you about what i should do about this boy which i love very much and he also does love me. i know that beacuse he asked me to be his girlfriend by his friend way back before but i said no at that time, beacuse am not able to have a boyfriend beacuse am not old enough. now am 17 years old but am still not able to do so, and my parents would kill me too,and going behind their back is not an option beacuse i will die of guilt, so since then no one knows i love him just me, am pretending that i don't love him but i don't know what to do any more beacuse its killing me inside, the amazing thing is we talk not in school but by e-mail as normal classmates and what i hate about talking to him by e-mail is that it will make it more awkward when we see each other in school beacuse we dont talk in school as normal classmates for the reason that our friends will make fun of us. so am feeling bad everyday after school beacuse i didn't get a chance to talk to him as my classmate, some of it is my fault beacuse i dont also treat him as one of my other classmates and he is so afraid of me even to say"hi" so i don't know what to do. if you have any advice for me i will be happy to take any of your suggestions thank you!!!

Since you are not allowed to date and can only treat him like a classmate, the only thing you can do is talk to him for starters as you do to other classmates. Topics of conversation are endless and if you choose your questions right, you can find out alot about him. One purpose of dating is to find out what you like about a person and what character traits you don't like or you can't tolerate. Lots of that will come from spending time with the person and alot will come from talking by which you get a glimpse of their mind, how they think and feel about things, their beliefs, hopes, dreams, moral standards etc. So until you turn 18 and are an adult and can make your own decision to date or not, I suggest making the most of any chances to talk at school. If you already know the answers to what his favorite foods, music, movies and such are, then move on to deeper questions, otherwise start there. Use issues in this world to get a feel for how he believes and feels about things.What does he think about organized religion or is he more a spiritual person and how so, get examples. What does he think are the most important things to ensure a relationship is healthy. Under what circumstances would he break a relationship. You get the idea. Since he is acting shy and not speaking first, its up to you to open convo with him. Good luck.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker