|
I have no friends
I am a 20 year old university student. My first year I had quite a few friends but a few of them left and the rest of the group just split. I sit in lectures alone and just leave campus early so I don't have to sit by myself. I never had this problem in school, I was actually quite popular, none of my friends from high school go to the university that I go to, and this is really beginning to affect me. I'm not a socially awkward person, I actually hold a conversation really well, the problem is, my campus is so huge that if you speak to a person you're most likely never going to see them again. I am in a four year relationship, and I'm becoming afraid as I realize my need for company is suffocating him. I'm often jealous at the amount of acquaintances that he is. I guess my question is, how do I cope with this situation? How do i begin to feel better about myself?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Try joining clubs to meet more people or sports and that way you also have a pass-time.
]
I've been there as a transfer student on the other side of the country, and as hard as it is, resist the urge to leave campus early. There are so many opportunities to make friends at school that are actually harder to find later. There is every kind of interest group available, go to an extra lecture or meeting--many have free food, so you won't be eating alone! Think about what kind of people you like and where they'd hang out. I did better at making friends in the gym, language clubs, newspaper, Amnesty, chorus & meditation group than in the giant jobs forum, athletic events, or bar crawls. My best friends in college were from the dining hall and photography lab. Make it a game, strike up conversations with 10 strangers every day and see how many are named George or take a survey of what toothpaste people use, ask for a simple favor or piece of advice on something. Just have any excuse to connect, especially in class--you're stuck there, try to make friends. You'll absolutely find yourself immersed in new friends soon.
]
I agree with Dragonflymagic on looking for friends outside of school. Join clubs or activities you'd enjoy and you'll meet people with the same interests and eventually make some new friends.
You can also start trying to talk to some people in your classes. You'll end up seeing them again and it might be nice to have some people to sit with in class.
It takes awhile to build friendships so don't expect it to happen overnight and don't give up if the first person you talk to doesn't seem that interested.
Just put yourself out there and you'll make some friends.
]
If the university is that large and its hard to meet people you can see on a consistant basis, then it would seem to me that school is not the best place to be looking for new friendships. I am social too and understand how important it is to have even a couple friends.
So you will need to look for friends outside of school perhaps in clubs or activities where you might have something in common. I don't know how much spare time you have but if you can carve out an evening once a week, then meetup.com is a good place to try. Its not a dating site or singles activity site. Its a place where you can find groups set up for people to meet each other over a common love or topic, etc. I have even seen meet up groups for moms who want someone to go taking baby in strollers for walks together. Some are fun, some more serious such as a natural healing/Reiki group my daughter joined and made friends at.
Of course it's important to feel good about ourselves and one of the quickest ways I know to feel good about myself is take focus off myself and go do something nice for someone else, perhaps helping out at a soup kitchen or some other sort of volunteer work. An especially rewarding one is being part of Big sisters and being assigned to a young girl who needs attention and a role model/friend. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |