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incest dreams all these years later
I was a very large teen,not fat just extremely large chested.No one ever believed my age I always had to pay full price for the movies. We were very poor my father was very abusive and drank.
mom worked very hard and I had 2 younger brothers that I looked out for.I didn't want to finish high school because everyone would tease me about my chest so I took care of the house and my brothers
My father would come home from work 3:30 mom would get in at nine. My brothers would stay with family after school and come in by 7pm. I'll try to make this short my father raped me from 13-18 when he died. I never told and I didn't have any problems.
I started working I met my husband and had a wonderful life. My husband passed away 10yrs ago I miss him so ,I had cancer heart attack and thank god Im fine in my health dept. I have not remarried or dated Im 60yrs old now.
My problem is I kept dreaming of my father and wishing he was alive to have intercourse again.Why? Am I not normal ,If I would want someone to dream about I think It should be my husband not the rapist,and Im feeling like I enjoyed him?
Iam a grown women why should I feel like this? Are there any others that had a experience like mine or even a little one.
Daughter
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
I am so so so sorry that you had to go through this. Please take heart that you are not alone. Sexual abuse is cruel and unwanted, however it is really easy to want more, especially in your case, where you were repeatedly offended. It isn't your fault that you feel this way, and there is nothing wrong with you. What your father did was wrong, but it messed with your emotions enough to make you feel loved. Your father probably did love you, just not in a normal way. Now you feel the need to be loved, it is common.
My advice is to see a female counsellor, maybe join an abuse support group as well. I will pray for you.
If you want to chat, message me.
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We are not doctors and cannot make a diagnoses or should we give advice on certain subjects.
This is one of those questions where I feel I don't have the knowledge or training to give you any advice. I can't tell you why you're having these dreams or even if they are normal.
What I feel is normal is wanting to have sex at 60 years of age. Todays 60 is yesterdays 40 so you are still quite young and there is no reason you should not desire a sex life. As the saying goes plastic will only get you so far where the real thing will take you all the way, hopefully.
I can make two suggestions to you. The first is to see a psychologist to discuss the dreams you are having and the fact you were raped by your father. My feeling is that not ever having real closure to the rapes the dreams are a cry for closure.
The second is an organization called RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. They operate a toll free hotline 24/7 with trained counselors answering the phones who are far more qualified than us/me to answer your question. Everything you discuss with them is confidential and they will help you find someone in your hometown, like a psychologist, if you wish to continue to talk with someone and they feel you should. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
Give them a call; the call is free and I believe talking with them will help you get the answers you are seeking.
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Dreams don't always make sense. It is our subconscious mind that is in control when we sleep and runs our dreams. So anything that we may be feeling can come into the dream in a distorted way. Very seldom does it have any meanings that can be taken literally. So it may be that you are missing your husband, the companionship and the intimacy and a dream can combine that with a scenerio that does not relate such as the rape.
Personally, I find myself dreaming still more of my childhood scenerios than of my husband and adult life and I am 55.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it, it doesnt mean you are abnormal.
If you are thinking you might want to date for companionship and/or maybe more, it's not too late. Five years ago I found and married my 2nd husband. So glad I did.
As far as strange dreams, I did have a reoccuring dream however mine was not drawing from any experience in this life. I dreamt I was in the home I grew up in, babysitting my siblings when a group of bad people like gang folk approached the back of the house. I went to close the door but found it has shrunk and didn't fit the door frame. I tried to hold the door back but they forced their way in. At that point, something in me just took over, I felt strong and capable and grabbed one guy at a time as they attacked me by hand and snapped the neck of each one. I was a Christian at the time and felt guilt to be thinking of killing people by snapping their necks evenk tho they were invading the home. It was a repeat dream several times a month.
It wasnt until later years that I came to believe in reincarnation that I asked God again why I had these dreams and I got an answer: tHAT in a past life I was a strong male warrior responsible for protecting and defending my people and I killed by bare hand, strong enough to snap necks. God said, thats why I dreamt i Was that man and did what I did. All that was left was to be able to forgive myself for killing, because the killing was done out of self defense, not for bad reasons. When I understood and forgave myself, the dreams stopped, and I haven't had any since. Its been about 15 yrs now.
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