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I'm going to try to keep this from getting too long, but I don't know if that is possible! I'm 20 years old, in school and working while living with my mom. My parents just got divorced in January. My dad cheated on my mom with two different women- both were ongoing affairs and he is still seeing the last woman. My mom has been with him since she was 16 and is devistated. My dad was not involved in my life while I was growing up. He didn't show any interest in me and was very verbally abusive. Now that he is divorced, he sees what he lost and now is trying to be a part of my life. I appreciate it... however, I'm just so incredibly disgusted by him and seeing my mom so upset and depressed really makes me resent him. I don't know how to move forward with this and how far into my life I should let him. It's a tough situation. Thoughts? (link)
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The same thing happened with my parents. Hard as it is to do, you have to realize that dad may be an asshole (mine was) but he's still your dad. You can still love him and not like the way he acts. My dad knew very well I didn't approve of his antics, but I didn't keep him out of my life.
Like it was for me, you do have the advantage of being an adult already. You have your own life to lead and dad, who is now a bit of an outsider, won't be a huge part of your life anymore anyway.
Comfort mom but encourage her to move on when you think enough time has past. I know how devastated she is right now, but do not allow yourself to become her sole means of entertainment. You have to go out and do your own thing.
If there is a relative or friend in the picture, I would even discourage her from doing a lot of crying on your shoulder. You don't need all the details & you don't want her to become so dependent on you that your life screeches to a halt.
I understand that may not be the situation, just trying to help you avoid a possible problem in the future.
Best of luck to you & your mom.
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My best guy friend really likes me,b ut I like one of his best frends what do I do????????? HELP!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Tell him that. At the very least tell him you are not interested in him. You don't have to be mean about it or anything, just tell him you just see him as a best friend & not a boyfriend. You wouldn't want to mess up a great friendship.
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So me and my boyfriend have been going out for about two monthss and alittle more. We've broken about 6 to 7 times. And he was only sad the first 3 times we broke up after that he made it seem like it was whatever. And he is a jerk! He always says things to me like if he doesnt value what he has but at the same time his a sweet guy and i love him alot because thats the first guy i ever really really liked and had a connection with him. Every night i cry because he makes me feel like the bad guy which am not because i always try to work things out but when i tell him about my feelingss all he says it whatever or wow bye or something immature like that. I dont wanna let him go what can i do to change the way he treats me? (link)
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You can't really control how someone treats you. You can only control how long you will put up with it.
Its pretty obvious that this relationship is not a good one. You have broke up 6 or 7 times in just a little more than 2 months? That is not a good sign.
You may see a little sweetness in him, but it sure won't make up for his being a jerk most of the time.
You care and he doesn't really. You would be much better off finding that special guy for you. I'm afraid this guy isn't the one.
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Okay well me and my boyfriend hasn't had sex or anything and I'm still a virgin, and I was wondering if it was possible that I can get pregnant and still be a virgin, but the reason I was asking was because the other day he got off and as soon as he got off he put some on his finger and the he fingered me and I have heard and thought it was true that when sperm hits air it dies then I read different today and I really thought you couldn't get pregnant from what we done but I really don't know I have read like a bunch of different things and I am so confused, but please answer this I'm really confused. (link)
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Since not all virgins have a hymen intact, I'm going to have to say yes. It is possible. Its not
very likely, and I don't think I would worry about it to much, but it is possible.
To clear up any confusion, sperm does not die when it hits the air. To be safe, make your boyfriend wash his hands before touching you next time. No sense taking the risk.
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do you think it's possible for a person to COMPLETELY change who they are? (link)
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Good question. I think people can change some things about themselves. Just maturing and getting out in the world can change a persons opinions and make them see the world differently.
As far as a COMPLETE change, no. Everyone has their personality quirks that are just part of them. It is possible to make some changes though. Enough to make a difference sometimes.
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18/m lives in Ohio
With in a year i will be going to boot camp, I have a good family friend who died in Afgahnistan. He was a marine, but i know thats where the airborne are. My parents are very fearful of anyone trying to join up. My sister thought about it and my parents flipped shit even though she just wanted to sign up for the navy. I thought they were going to lock her in her room for life, but I already signed and its set in stone that im going... how do i break the news to them without them going nuts? (link)
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All you can do is tell them and hope for the best.
They will probably be upset, but they will get over it soon enough. They will be scared but they love you. It will be okay.
Best of luck to you. I hope it is over by the time you finish boot camp. ;)
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I am prganent by my ex boyfriend,and he does not want the baby and does not want to be with me...what should i do?? (link)
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Unfortunately this happens a lot. Its the very reason girls need to think very seriously before they rush into having sex with a guy. They can leave, you can't.
If you are wanting to keep the baby, you will have to make it on your own. It can be done. The baby needs to be your focus right now, not some guy who didn't care enough to stand by you.
I wish I knew your age as it would have been helpful. If you don't want the responsibility or don't want to struggle to make it on your own, there is adoption options. Going it alone will not be easy, it will be very hard, but it is by no means impossible.
My advice is to concentrate on you and your baby. See you doctor regularly and take care of yourself. Hard as it may be, you don't need a selfish guy in your life right now.
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Does breaking the hymen effect my period? my hymen was broken a few days before my period and i'm not sure if it is supposed to effect my period or not... (link)
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Just having your hymen broken will not affect your period.
If it was broken during unprotected sex, you can get pregnant. if that is the case, you will not have a period for the 9 months of pregnancy.
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Okay-- So I'm like obsessed with this guy. He knows I like him. But theres on tiny problem-- HE DOESN'T LIKE ME. I occasionally talk to him. We have had some pretty intense conversations. I love when I talk to him. I get thee best feeling inside ;; its unexplainable. What should I do? How do I get him to like me?
(link)
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He probably does like you, just doesn't like you as a possible girlfriend. That could change if you continue to have good conversations. Not guaranteed, but keep talking to him and it might happen.
You really can't make someone fall for you. They either do or they don't. Being friends is the first step though, so keep doing what you're doing and hope for the best.
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if you have sex with someone bigger then your boyfriend.... can they tell?
i have been with this guy for 3 years and made a drunk mistake with someone else who was alot bigger then my boyfriend. so he fits perfectly inside me...can he tell i cheated on him the next time we have sex?
i heard you could. (link)
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No they cannot tell. Regardless of what some may believe from reading stupidity on the internet.
You should tell him because your relationship has some problems, but he can't tell just by having sex with you.
I am 52 with a medical background if that helps.
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M/18 is there any other ways or techniques i can use while masterbating without having to buy a fleshlight or anything? (link)
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As you can see, the answers you have been given is why we usually don't allow questions like this one on the site. :) Many young users. The older ones know we don't allow details of a sexual nature on the site.
If you want more info, here is a google search for you. That is what is allowed here.
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I have five guys I like but I don't know who to choose. One knows I like him and he uses it like a weapon. Two of them say they like me but only on has proved it. They other two just don't care but they know. Who should I pick or what should I do. (link)
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Why not just sit back and wait for one of them to choose?
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basically, i fell in love with the wrong guy.
I thought we were perfect for eachother and we lasted a long time. We knew everything about eachother and always knew how to make the other one feel better or laugh. even though i thought we were so perfect, he kept lying to me about partying. I am not a party girl and i always hated when he would go out and do that especially when he lied to me about it. He said it was because he was scared to tell me and he always felt guilty about it. I knew that he really loved me but he kept lying to about things so i broke up with him. The thing is, i got sooo attached. I really honestly loved him and i knew he was sorry after he lied but i hated the fact that he always lied. We have been broken up for quite awhile now but i still love him. The thing is, i can't date him again because of all the lies. I even tried being his friend but i couldn't do it. He still tries to keep in touch with me and i just dont text/ call back. What do i do? (link)
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Continue doing just what you are doing. Ignore him.
If he had truly felt guilty about his behavior he wouldn't have lied about it. He would have stopped.
Get out there and find that guy who is perfect for you. He's out there, but you won't find him while wasting time pining over this one. :)
Good luck.
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im not sure how long i should wait until i like, go to third base [as in blowjob] with this guy. like ive never done it, and hes gotten head before. im nervous, but i know im always gonna be nervous no matter when i decide to. i just dont know peoples opinions on it. like, is it the same thing as sex where you have to be in love? is it trashy if your dating? how long after you start dating is it socially acceptable. im a sophmore, and hes a junior. at this age, i know he expects it, and the pressures on. so i just want honest opinions. not like "ohhh do it when your ready!" cause i know ill never be completely ready. ok well thanks :D (link)
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Honest opinion? Are you sure? You got it for what its worth. :)
I don't think it is socially acceptable for teens to partake in any sexual relationships. And yes a blow job is a sex act. As a matter of fact, it used to be considered more intimate than actual sex.
I believe you should be in love with a person to do anything sexual with them. I mean you are risking pregnancy, you are putting yourself at risk to contact any number of sexually transmitted diseases, some of them life threatening. Yes even if its oral sex. I don't believe you should be sexually intimate with anyone who would not stick by you should any of those things become a reality.
I don't think its so much trashy as it is irresponsible risk taking.
So, all that being said my criteria for third base is this. Don't do it UNLESS he will marry you if you end up pregnant. Ya I now you are talking oral sex but it will soon go past that.
Will he stick by you if you got AIDS and were dying?
Would he have anything to do with you if you got herpes sores all over your mouth? Would you return the favors and stick by him?
If you don't know or aren't 100% sure of any of the answers, don't go to third.
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soo, after all the drama that has happened over the past months. I have met this new guy. His name is Mike. And hes really sweet when we're alone or texting. But recently i have noticed that around one of our friends Oscar, he tends to become much more perverted towards me. mainly towards my chest. I really dont like this side of him. So when i try to bring it up later on face to face, he tells me not to worry bout it. Why? cause we're going to talk no more. those are his exact words. Mike is like my texting buddy. And everytime i try to text him, hes like "i dont want to hurt you bye."
does he mean well(changing his attitude, etc.)? or should i give up on him?
14/f and hes 16/f (link)
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You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that he will NOT become perverted about you in front of ANYONE ever again. He either cares about how you feel or he doesn't. Thats all there is to it. If he doesn't stop, don't put up with it. Dump him.
Everyone in any kind of relationship has to have good communication or the relationship will not work. If he thinks he can do what he wants and not discuss his bad behavior when you want to, get rid of him now & save yourself further heartache.
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16f
I had sex first time, and now i cant stop thinking about it
All the images and the whole things replaying in my head, Its not that im fantasizing about doing it again, I actually want all of these thoughts out of my head, I'm still in shock of what happened, and every time i think about it I just want it to go away. I don't feel like I regret it, I just feel okay with it. But thinking about it snaps me into reality that it really did happen and it hits me all over again. Is this a sign of regret? How can i stop thinking about it? (link)
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At 16 having sex is a very big deal. It is a major life change. Heck, it is a major relationship changer.
You know, you read a lot of stories on here about teens having such great sex. In reality, its just ok. I'm sure the stories are just that. Stories. I've been sexually active since I was 16, and as
an old lady, believe me, I know. (I was pregnant & married a year later.) :) The problem with all this is that it makes teens who read them, feel that their experience may have been lacking. In reality, your experience was probably normal. So if that may be what has you over thinking it, you don't have to be. Teen boys just do not have the experience to make it an earth shattering event. They will in time.
If that is not it, then it could be regret. Its probably more a sadness that childhood is now over. Sex is supposed to make you feel more grown up, right? You don't have to. Not if you use proper protection anyway. Which is another thing that can cause the old brain to work overtime. The chance of pregnancy is always there.
Not talking to the guy is not going to help.
You need to get with him and tell him how you are feeling. Talk it out. Decide if you want to continue to have a sexual relationship or if you
want to put it on hold until you are more ready.
It really is a lot of responsibility & even using protection the risks of pregnancy is there. It is a scary thing to deal with. It would NOT be wrong
if you decided you were not ready for all this.
But you need to talk about it. It will help a lot
to share those feelings with him.
Right now you just have so much going on in your head about this and you need to get it out of there. Talk to him.
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Lets say a girl loses their virginity to a guy, is it wrong for her to stop talking to him for a while? How long is too long? How about like 3 weeks? And what impression does the girl give off by not talking to him? And how does or could the guy feel? (link)
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I think a girl has a right not to talk to the guy if she doesn't want to. I can't imagine why she wouldn't want to though, unless it was perhaps something she regretted doing. If that were the case, it would really need to be discussed & not put off.
I think if the girl likes the guy, she doesn't just ignore him after sharing such an intimate thing. If she does, she can't expect to be welcomed back like nothing has happened. Communication is the key to any good relationship. If the girl wants to continue the relationship, she better start talking.
By not talking to him she gives the impression that she either did not like it, no longer wants anything to do with the guy, or is perhaps ashamed she did it.
I am by no means advocating teen sex, but once done it needs to be talked about. If she doesn't want to do it again, she has every right to say so, but she needs to talk to the guy about that.
I'm sure the guy would feel like he did something wrong. That she hated it and or now hates him. Guys do share some of the same feelings girls do when it comes to feeling rejected. If the girl waits 3 weeks to talk to the guy, she will probably find herself dumped. A guy a girl is interested in shouldn't be left in limbo.
If a couple feels they are grown up enough to have sex, they should know it comes with a LOT
of responsibility and communication. If a girl cannot talk to a guy she has just had sex with,
the relationship is doomed in my opinion.
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I want to ask a girl to prom and im not sure how to or even if i should. My issue is she is on prom court, and i know that the court members pair off, but im pretty sure thats just for marching in and pictures. So what should I do? (link)
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Ask her out! She will do her prom court duties
at the proper time and come back to you. so,
ask her out.
Have a good time!
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K I have spent most not all of my life trying to make sure others are getting their rightful dues.
fought corners got bashed, bit like most old gits
all wasted effort though, no progress still the same olde narrow bigoted views. Folks looking away seeking personal emancipation, over the best for all. I know its a mere principle. Karen I am sorry I feel the way I do I am not a selfish person I want peace for my self and guess what I have discovered that for a price in monetary terms I can have it. I can fake an accident quite simply no one else involved no one cares about me any way I have no family or friends so apart from the community charge and others who depend on my petty contributions I will be of no loss at all. Karen you are a star. TO EVEN TRY TO OFFER HELP TO WANKERS LIKE ME. (link)
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Oh now, I can't believe there is nobody who cares. I'd bet those you have helped in the past would care very much what happens to you! So many times they just never tell you. It doesn't mean you haven't been important in someones life.
I don't know you but it seems to me you are going through some depression. Please seek some medical advice to try and get over this hump. It sounds to me like you have been a great help to others. People like you are needed in this world.
People do have narrow minded bigoted views. Seems sometimes that nothing changes. If you look back though you can see that things have changed. It sometimes seems like it takes forever, but we can never give up.
I wish you the best & hope that you don't do anything to hurt yourself. There are a lot of people here on this site who could benefit from
your advice. Don't give up the fight.
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I need to break up with my long-dist relationship boyfriend. We've been dating 7 months. There's no real reason to break up except..I sent him a pic that wasn't me. I know, I know. I'm too ashamed to tell him the truth, and I'm supposed to be 'visiting' him in a month. I need to end it, what do I say? I don't want to hurt his feelings, so nothing like 'I don't love you anymore' or whatever.
I was thinking of saying something along the lines of my dad disapproves, and I have to end it with you, or he'll kick me out or something. I know, just lying more. But seriously, I just want to get out of this now, it's my own fault and I know now to never do it again. Any help would be appreciated, thanks. (link)
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Since you plan to break up with him anyway, why not just tell him the truth? What do you have to lose?
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