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how long should i wait
im not sure how long i should wait until i like, go to third base [as in blowjob] with this guy. like ive never done it, and hes gotten head before. im nervous, but i know im always gonna be nervous no matter when i decide to. i just dont know peoples opinions on it. like, is it the same thing as sex where you have to be in love? is it trashy if your dating? how long after you start dating is it socially acceptable. im a sophmore, and hes a junior. at this age, i know he expects it, and the pressures on. so i just want honest opinions. not like "ohhh do it when your ready!" cause i know ill never be completely ready. ok well thanks :D
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i dont think theres a deadline for it. if you're comfortable enough to do it, you will. but of course dont be pressured to do it. you can watch some errrr videos to learn just so you wont be that nervous. but just saying, dont do it if you dont feel like it.
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I'm a guy in his mid 20s for reference. My opinion? You shouldn't be deciding whether or not you want to give a blowjob based on its social acceptability factor.
You ask if its trashy. Trashy is a matter of opinion, but generally "Trashy" people fall into one of two categories.
- Those who have no standards
- Those who's standards mean nothing
You're standing here trying to decide whether or not to do something and thinking about "ready", and ready is some great undefined state that people throw around all the time.
Let me give you some specifics. Sex and intimacy are deeply tied to some strong emotions in human beings. It involves both trust and vulnerability.
What are you worried about? Likely the same things most girls are. "Will I do it right?" "What will he think of me when its over?" etc etc. Knowing as you said that you might not ever feel completely ready, you should probably start depending on other standards.
How about "Do I trust this guy to care me beyond just getting laid and know him well enough to know that's not the case?" Or "If I fuck something up, it won't matter, because we care about each other and being together physically isn't solely about getting off?"
Age doesn't matter. Status doesn't matter. The point of relationships is to stand on equal ground together, not to find someone of appropriate social standing and attractiveness to splice sex organs with. When in doubt, approach sex from a relationship standpoint.
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Honest opinion? Are you sure? You got it for what its worth. :)
I don't think it is socially acceptable for teens to partake in any sexual relationships. And yes a blow job is a sex act. As a matter of fact, it used to be considered more intimate than actual sex.
I believe you should be in love with a person to do anything sexual with them. I mean you are risking pregnancy, you are putting yourself at risk to contact any number of sexually transmitted diseases, some of them life threatening. Yes even if its oral sex. I don't believe you should be sexually intimate with anyone who would not stick by you should any of those things become a reality.
I don't think its so much trashy as it is irresponsible risk taking.
So, all that being said my criteria for third base is this. Don't do it UNLESS he will marry you if you end up pregnant. Ya I now you are talking oral sex but it will soon go past that.
Will he stick by you if you got AIDS and were dying?
Would he have anything to do with you if you got herpes sores all over your mouth? Would you return the favors and stick by him?
If you don't know or aren't 100% sure of any of the answers, don't go to third.
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Don't do it if you're not comfortable, don't let him pressure you, if he does he isn't worth your time girl, in today's day and age alot of things are acceptable when they didn't use to be. Although your grandma would still have a canary, LOL. Just remember to respect yourself first. don't let peer pressure push you into anything that you might regret later. Giving head is something that can be very enjoyable by both parties once boundaries have been established. Good Luck!
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