about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

it z been 6 months nw.. We were in a pure realationship. I hv fingered her.she had given handjobs to me. But i want to lick her out. But she is telling it is a sin according to da religion..

If its a sin I would say about 90% of the worlds population are committing this sin. Oral sex is a very pleasant form of foreplay or an alternative to actual intercourse for young people. While I am not a biblical scholar I have never heard of oral sex being considered a sin.

What I would caution you about is not to force your girl into allowing you to do something she is not comfortable with. This would include having her give you oral sex.

When it comes to sex both participants must be consenting or it is a no go. If one partner is not consenting and is forced to do something they do not want to do it is rape. Either one of you regardless of your age can be charged with rape and sexual harassment when trying to or forcing someone to do something sexual they do not wish to do.

So while I do not believe oral sex is a sin; she does. That means until she feels differently stick to what she will allow and do not force her or harass her to do more then she is comfortable with.

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I honestly consider myself a pretty smart person. I joke around sometimes but once class starts I try my best to do my work and be serious. I get A's and B's on my report card ( its never been lower). So this is my problem: sometimes I have a hard time EXPLAINING things but I think I do good most of the time. Well at gym we were practicing volleyball and we had partners and while we were playing I missed the ball and I was like " sorry, I didn't know u had hit it to me yet" and then she was like " ohhhh ADHD" and I was shocked that she would say something like that so I shutgged my shoulders. I don't do very well with problems ( like cancer or ADHD). I know thins because a lot of people at my have like some issue and I don't know how to react to that. Just like a while ago my friend told me that she was chubbier than a lot of us because she had to take drugs so that her heart won't explode ( or however she said it). I didn't know how to react to that. So can someone help me with like how I know if I have ADHD or give me some possible signs of it. And I do forget thing a lot to. Lol

Missing a ball in a game of volleyball is not a way to diagnose if you have ADHD. The fact that you get A's & B's on your report cards tells me you do not have a problem staying on task or studying. Which would be one of the signs that you could suffer from one of the forms of ADHD.

I think what your partner meant when she said that to you was your mind wasn't on the game. This happens to all of us from time to time and sometimes people jokingly refer to this as an ADHD moment.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is no joking matter. We should not joke about it as for those afflicted by this illness it is very troubling. In the least and can cause very serious social and behavioral problems even with medical intervention. At worst it can cause severe emotional control problems as well as behavioral problems.

Not being a doctor and not knowing you it is impossible to make a diagnoses. Only your doctor could make an initial diagnoses and then would have to refer you to a specialist for treatment. From what you have written and the way you write I would be very surprised if you did suffer from ADHD.

The other things you wrote about as to how to react to different situations. This has nothing to do with ADHD. I'm old enough to be your grandfather and there are things I still find difficult to react to. For me part of the reason is I worked as a volunteer fire & Rescue Squad member and this has caused me to learn to cut myself off from certain situations so ZI can do what i am being asked to do. Still each of us react differently to situation we know little about. This is normal.

If you are concerned about having ADHD speak to your parents about seeing your doctor for screening. This is the only way to know for certain. As I said though I doubt you suffer from this and the remark the other girl made was a joking comment.

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Since d day of marriage I am being neglected by my husband though I was his own choice. Later I came to know he still loves his former wife & son & he talks with her over phone. Secondly it us his basic nature to since childhood to neglect his own family & to do anything for friends' families. For this reason his wife divorced him. It is only after their divorce that he has grown interest in her.I know everyone will say that he is a good person to help others & there is nothing bad in maintaining a friendly relationship with his ex-wife. But what about me? I am tired of severe loneliness & negligence. Plz tell me d ways so that he becomes homely & love me. It is useless to discuss with him. I have shown love & affection to him as many ways as I can. But all r in vain. I have tried to commit suicide twice but have not died.

I know people just like your husband, my father and myself included. My father never changed. For me it took an auto accident that changed my life; causing me to become disabled and developing a severe case of depression. After months of therapy for the depression I started to see what I had been doing wrong in my life. That my father was wrong in the way he lived. In fact I learned not to like who I had been and learned I could do better.

I don't recommend your husband go out and have a life threatening accident. I do recommend that the two of you get counseling by a qualified psychologist. It is quite possible that your husband, like myself, is suffering from a mild form of depression and seeks the love, approval and affection of others as away of dealing with the depression. Not being a doctor I can't say for sure. What I am reading though sounds a lot like who I was.

You need therapy because of the suicide attempts. Suicide is not an answer to your problems. It is the wrong solution. You need to learn why you are driven to this point and learn how to deal with it better.

You both need individual therapy before you try marriage counseling to fix your marriage.

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Im crying right now so Im kinda in a fragile state of mind. So I try all the time in school and i feel like no one else truly understands. Publically people think im so nice when I'm not. They don't know me really. When I get home I want time to myself. I came home at 6 today and I hadn't eaten at all. I go in my room and as soon as I open my mouth to eat, my mom yells my name. she does this VERY frequently. So I yell "okaaaay!" She came up to my room and I basically said "I just got home im tired, I havent ate, leave me alone" (In a yelling complaining voice) To make a long story short, my mom thinks im like my oldest sister and im gonna turn into this bad teen and hit her and all that stuff. Im my own person, I skipped lunch just to do homework at the library, I stayed after for algebra tutorials, and I try. When I get home im always yelled and hit at. My attitude can be bad but so is my mothers. She never lets me go over a friends house, EVER. I can't have a social life, she raises us to be antisocial. She's got issues she hasn't dealt with nor does she think even exists. So back to what happened. She got so mad that she threw my laptop down, punched the wall, tipped my orange juice over and started yelling at how much she wanted to hit me. Im so sick and tired of this. Tired of trying. Im sorry I have a short fuse but im not a bad person, I dont drink, smoke, cuss her out, hit her. NONE of the things my oldest sister use to do. Im a good girl and I get treated like crap sometimes. Im done, so tired I just cant. So now im grounded without this laptop I now have to give up and my ipod....my only source of music. As dramatic as this posts sounds its more serious than you think. I want to hit her and as soon as that day happens is the day I can't turn back. She will treat me like my oldest sister and it will be hell for my teenage life.So its a lose/lose situation. FML. Sometimes I just wanna call CPS and go live somewhere else....oh wait my oldest sis tried that. Sometimes I wanna die....oh wait thats taken too. So I just have to live in hell for the next 4 years...FML. Advice?

First lets work on this short fuse. Not eating all day will only shorten your fuse. If you do this often you need to stop this practice and find or make the time to eat lunch. You should also start taking a snack to have before or after any after school activity to hold off any hunger feelings when you get home.

When we are tired and stressed out as you sound like you are when you get home. Hunger only amplifies the stress we are feeling. It makes it easier to fly off the handle, shorten our fuses. By having lunch at the proper time and maybe a snack at dismissal time you can lengthen that fuse.

As for the other things you have written about. This is harder to deal with as much of it is perception and the fact that you are writing while you are in "a fragile state of mind."

Mom may have issues, if she does there is not much you can do about it. Your the child you cannot force mom to do anything. Only your father, if he is in the picture, can take this issue up with her. If he is not available to appeal to then you might consider talking to an Aunt, Uncle or Grandparent who might be willing to speak with mom. If CPS found nothing wrong with your home life calling them won't do much for you though continued complaints may change their minds.

Hitting is a different story. Mom has the right to discipline you which would include corporal punishment. Hitting is not considered corporal punishment. A smack or two to your butt or even a spanking with her hand is corporal punishment.

Hitting you in the face or head with an open or closed hand is child abuse. Punching you or hitting you anywhere on your body is assault and could be considered child abuse. If this is what is happening when you say mom is hitting you then you should tell a trusted teacher or school principal. Tell them when any bruising if fresh so they can document it. With documentation by a trusted adult like a teacher or principal CPS will get involved.

Grounding and taking away privileges: Telling you when and where you can go, who you can see. is considered parenting. It may be poor parenting but parenting none the less. There is not much I or anyone else can offer in the way of advice as to what to do about this.

The best advice I can offer is what I have offered as far as eating so as to control your temper. Try talking with a relative as I suggested. If you and mom use the same doctor you could talk with your doctor and maybe the doctor can talk to mom to see if something the doctor can do to help her. Other than that just try to be as good as you can to stay on the west side of her.

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he wants to know what srt of effect it wil have he dose not want to see a sex doc hes curious what will happen to his penis and if there are any female pills that wil get rid of body hair...

I would not recommend he do this. I'm not a doctor or an expert in this area. I do believe though that high doses of female birth control pills, which are estrogen based are what they use to sterilize males under court order.

What happens is their penis and gonads shrink to the point they stop functioning as a sex organ and their sex drive diminishes.

I could be wrong but I don't think so.

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which hole of woman's body do we use for sex?

Your kidding right? The front one is the one most of us use.

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I've seen everyone I ever cared about vanish away. I've got my heartbreake plenty of times. This time God will not have enough time to save his troubled Human. It's all to late, I dont have time to wait for a reply. If he really exsist he will show me something at the railway station. We will see my dear friend if he really cares about everyone. You are my proof I challenged him to just show me a TINY FUCKING BIT OF SIGN WHY I SHOULDN'T END IT.

Frankly you sound like a spoiled brat. Are you waiting for a lighting bolt to strike. That's not going to happen.

Killing yourself I believe is considered a mortal sin. I'm an agnostic myself so I'm not versed in the mortal sin stuff. God is not sitting around watching over just you. The Bible says god helps those who help themselves. So if you want gods' help you must first help yourself.

Having your heartbroken is part of life. I'm not sure what you mean by people vanishing away. IF you mean dieing; well that too is part of the cycle of life. Depressing yes, hurtful yes, but not something to kill yourself over. Life goes on and so can you.

You wanted a sign, so far you have four of them if you have waited to see these responses. God has found us to answer you and tell you that killing yourself will not solve the problem. You will leave behind people who love you and who will be hurt by your action.

Whatever is troubling you can be resolved or helped to make better. All you need to do is ask the right people for help. The right people would be calling 911 and telling the call taker how you feel and what you feel you must do. Help will be sent to you. You can also go to any hospital emergency room and receive help regardless of whether you have insurance or can pay.

There is also this hot line you can call: No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. Call them you have nothing to loose.

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12/F

Hi so in about May I stopped cutting myself because I got caught. But recently I've been thinking about doing it again.. I realized that everybody hates me, even family.. And I'm ugly and fat, I'm stupid.. I mean I'm just not normal.. I've been thinking of starting to cut myself again... Should I? Please help me :(

First of all I believe what you have written about yourself is depression talking. You are definitely not stupid. If you where you could not have written to us as well have you have.

As for the other two I do not think you could be ugly. Underneath the visual is a beautiful person. I can tell this just from your writing. It does not take a whole lot of words to tell much about who a person is under the visual. This is the person that people really need to get to know but can't because the depression gets in the way.

As for being overweight; here to it is the depression that is causing this problem. This I know for certain as I too once suffered from depression. When one suffers from depression over eating is a comfort one indulges in. Once you get the depression under control you can do something about being overweight.

Depression is a terrible illness. It causes us to feel bad about ourselves. It causes us to do things we think will make us fell better or even feel anything for sometimes we feel nothing at all. This is why you have the desire to cut. Don't cut yourself it only leaves scars that later will cause you to feel worse.

Ask mom or dad to take you to the doctor and ask to be screened for depression. What you may be suffering from is caused more from puberty than anything else. At one time back in the day as we say now. Parents felt this was a phase children went through and they would grow out of. Most did. Today doctors know better and they can help you.

The screening for depression is painless. The doctor will ask you a series of question or even give you a sheet of questions to answer. Many of the questions asked are asked during a routine physical the additional questions help the doctor diagnose whether or not you suffer from some form of depression.

Once diagnosed there are things that can be done to help you. Cutting is dangerous and will not help you. Ask to see the doctor and then be very truthful with the doctor. IF need be ask if you and the doctor can be alone with out mom or dad their while you are being screened.

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So I was thinking about moving to the U.S with my girlfriend when I graduate, but I need to know some thing first.

How long does it take to become a U.S citizen from being a Canadian citizen? What is the process? Can you hold dual citizenship? And any additional information you think is helpful. Thanks :)

The only question I can answer for sure is the dual citizenship. Only children of US citizens born overseas can hold dual citizenship. When they turn 18 they must chose which country they wish to be a citizen of and then they are considered a natural born citizen if the chose US citizenship.

As for the rest you would need to contact the American consulate as an immigration visa is required. The rest of your questions can be answered at that time.

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Am 17 yrs old girl i have been fingerfuckd by my boyfriend last months and know this month i have messed my period. But i had some period pains and i wear a pads but northing is coming out there for 3 day this what happening to me.

I'm not a doctor so I really can't say why your period is late.

What I can say is being fingered will not get you pregnant and should not mess with your period. To get pregnant there has to be semen entering your vagina. Unless there was semen on your boyfriends fingers there is no way for you to be pregnant form being fingered.

The most likely answer if you have not had any unprotected sexual penetration, is that stress has caused your period to be late. Of course if you have been taking any type of antibiotics this too can cause a missed period.

IF you have not had any type of sexual intercourse where semen has been exchanged and you have not been on any new medications. If your period does not arrive within the next week you my want to check with your GYN as something else my be at work.

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Hi Dayra well my story is kinda like yours MY friend and me were making out till her sister found out of course we were naked and she wanted me to lick her pussy and later we parted because i told her i am done am i LESBIAN?

No your are not a lesbian. What happened between you and your friend is called sexual experimentation. It is quite normal for teenagers, girls and boys, to experiment sexually during their teenage years. This is how we identify who we are sexually and mature.

It is all part of going through puberty. If you were a lesbian you would most likely know it by now as this is the way you would have been born. Being a lesbian is not something you learn or acquire. You can learn to enjoy a same sex relationship and still be straight. In which case you would be called a bisexual person. Which at this point with one same sex relationship you do not fit the name. You are still just experimenting.

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My mom creates arguments and fights about EVERYTHING. Ever since she got a new promotion its only gotten worse during the week. When my oldest sister "K" was 15, she went through a stage where she was the worst teen ever, fights, mental stuff,probation etc etc etc. They always verbally and physically fought. Well now she is 20 and doing great with her life. She's in the military, she's got her life together and that's great. But, that left an effect on my mother, she treats me and my other big sister like crap. She cusses us out, gets mad over the house not being clean, says we disrespect her and we don't. She's been through a lot in her life and has kept it together but she makes us antisocial and she acts as if we really are bad teens. We don't get in fights, drink, smoke, have sex, NONE of that. Yet she gets in our faces, cusses us out, has the audacity to hit us. Sometimes I want to do what my oldest sister did. I want to hit her so badly but I already know what will happen. I will never go back once I do that and she'll tell the whole family. Plus the fact that I look alot like my oldest sister doesn't help. I have a much shorter temper fuse which doesn't help. But back when we had all those issues going on, I vowed I would never lay a hand on my mother or any of that, but she makes it SO hard. I'm not a bad teen, I do NOTHING wrong. So what if I get an attitude when she's yelling at me for not saying hello (Its the morning and I can't open my mouth before I brush.) ? Do I deserve to be yelled at? I can't take this. I'm 15 and I've got a lot more years to go with her. I can't ever go over my friends house, take a ride home or any of that without her making it etremely hard. I just wanna hurry and get this all over with and start my life. ANY ADVICE? PLEASE..........

This is a tough one to deal with.

Other than the hitting, and depending where and how she hits you. What you have written could be viewed as moms' parenting style. Sort of a tough love style of parenting. I don't particularly like the style but some parents think it is the best way to raise teenagers.

As for the hitting. No one, even parents, have the right to hit their children or someone else. Now a couple of smacks on your butt is discipline. Hitting you across the face or hitting you anywhere else or even a severe spanking is considered child abuse.

Since this all started after a promotion at work I am going to make a leap here and say mom must be under a lot of stress at work. The promotion may have even meant a loss of control over things at work and she compensates by being overly controlling at home.

Stress or being controlling are two factors of depression. There are others that need to be identified before a diagnoses of depression can be made. It may be that mom is suffering from clinical depression and is the reason for her attitude.

It would be great if you could talk mom into going to see the doctor and be screened for depression. The chance of you being able to do that or either of your older sisters is slim if at all. You could talk with an Aunt, Uncle or grandparent and see if they could talk to mom about seeing the doctor.

What you can do is talk to the doctor yourself. Tell moms doctor what is going on at home and that you suspect mom is depressed. Moms' doctor may be able to get her to come in for a routine physical and while she is there screen her for depression. The screening is nothing more than asking a number of question. Many of which would be asked during a routine physical anyway. With the answers to the questions the doctor can make a diagnoses and offer medication or suggest mom see another set of doctors or both.

If mom hits you and your sister on a regular bases, especially on your head and face. Then this is something you need to be proactive about. This needs to be reported to social services so they can step in to help mom. You can do this by talking to a trusted teacher or your school principal about being hit, where she hits you and how often. Their are guidelines in place that the school must follow to protect you.

Social services can force mom to see a doctor if they feel she is stressed out and needs help. In the mean time they will also watch out for you and your sister while mom is being helped. This does not mean they will take you from her. This is the last thing they want to do. They have other ways of seeing to your safety including having the teachers at school talk with you daily about what is going on at home.

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I am always being yelled at. Mostly "WHAT THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!??", "I HATE YOU!", "WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR SISTER?!??", and "nobody likes fat people. If you are fat nobody will love you and you will die alone."

A few things he calls me are:
Fat
Stupid
Ugly
Lazy

How he makes me feel:
Fat
Stupid
Ugly
Lazy
Untalented
Worthless
Crazy
Like its always my fault
Alone
Unloved
Depressed
Suicidal

Things that have resulted from constant yelling,name calling, and a few beatings:
Him saying he hates me
Him refusing to feed me
Confusion of sexuality
Shyness
Suicidal thoughts
Thoughts of killing him
Plans to run away
Attempted cutting
Attempted purging
Attempts to starve myself. Fantasy coping (only a few hours spent in reality)
Scared of men
Hate being touched
Hate him
Hate relationships with people
Have to sever all relationships with men after 3 months
Loner
Don't trust people
Confusion (mostly of if I'm being abused and if he ever molested me)
Foggy memories of him laying on top of me asleep and I want to get away but can't.
Self hatred

A few things he has done:
Refused to feed me
Compare me to sister
Forced me to lay in bed with him
Forced me to hug him
Forced me to sit in his lap
Forced me to kiss his mouth (long time)
Yells if I don't let him lay with me in bed
Stomped my dogs head in the ground
Threw one of my dogs across the concrete
I don't want to call authorities when I have so much to be happy about. I.e- four friends that sometimes pay attention to me, two dogs and a cat that love me very much, a big yard, and im in the middle class money area. I know some people go through so much more (beatings,rape,neglect, homeless,broke, etc.) so I really don't mean to complain. It's weird that I'm just now thinking that this may be abuse (like how when my older sister was 6 he told her she got to fat and forced her to get on the treadmill everyday even though she was an average weight.) For some reason I just have a strong feeling I was raped or molested and so was my sister but I just don't know....thank you.
I'm a 13yr old female.

Should I assume you are talking about your father?

It really doesn't matter if this person is your father or guardian or other male member of your home. From what you have written you are being abused and molested.

This is so wrong I could write a book and still not finish telling you how wrong this is.

Whoever is doing this to you has no right to do so. He is a child abuser and child molester.
What you must do is report this or it will effect you for the rest of your life. You will never be able to have a normal relationship with a male until what is happening to you stops and you properly put it behind you. You have already written; "Confusion of sexuality," this will only get worse if not properly addressed.

You did not speak of your mother. If she is allowing your father to do this then she is just as guilty as he is. If your mother doesn't live with you and is till alive and you are able to contact her then do so. Tell her what your father is doing to you, your sister and you animals.

If you cannot go to mom for help then talk to a trusted teacher at school or your school principal. There are procedures they will follow to insure your safety and that of your sisters.

Should this result in your father being taken from you and for some reason mom is not available to care for you. Social services will try to place you with a member of your family. Aunts, Uncles, cousins or grandparents before placing you with total strangers. I know your fear of losing the good things you have. What you have written of the bad things you have are so bad that even if you were to lose all of the good things, which you won't, your life would be far better. I'm old enough to be your grandfather so please understand that what I am asking or advising is in your best interest based on what you have written.

There is also a hot-line you can call for help. The people who answer the hot-line are far better trained to help you then I am. The name of the organization is RAINN. RAINN stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. Their phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE. You can also contact them over the web at: http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline.

I suggest calling and talking to them if you can. The hot-line is available 24/7 365 days a year. Tell them what you have written to us. They can talk with you and help you in ways that we cannot.

From what you have written you are being abused and you are being molested. Whoever is doing this is not only wrong; he is a criminal and is harming you in oh so many ways. You do not have to stand for this even if he is your father or brother. Call the police or call RAINN. But get help now PLEASE.

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Normally, my manager at work made the shift schedule, but she did a really bad job and kept scheduling people even when they said that they wouldn't be available at those times. I asked her if I can work on the schedule from now on and she said that I could.

I think scheduling people will be easy, but my question is, what should I do when somebody says they can't work a shift for a particular day? How much notice should I ask for? Should I have them take care of it by trading shifts with someone or should I find coverage myself? How often should I allow them to make modifications?

There are a couple of different ways to attack this question.

First: Decide on how often you want to post a schedule Weekly, monthly or bi-monthly. Once you have that then set a deadline for each employee to notify you what days and hours for the next shift they are available to work. Then make up the schedule.

Now as we all know peoples lives change and those changes will affect your work schedule. There are times when people will need time off for things like a death in the family or possibly an emergency such as a loved one being sick or hospitalized. When this occurs you take the responsibility to cover their shift.

Their will be times when a person will want a shift off for non emergency purposes. For those times you can if you want to allow it they can swap shifts or have someone cover their shift. For this purpose I suggest you have some sort of form for them to fill out with both parties acknowledging the swap or the coverage and you signing off on it as approving.

The original employee is still responsible for the coverage. If for some reason the covering employee changes their mind or does not show up for work it is the original shift employees responsibility to cover their shift.

Second: Same as the first. Only change is you either do not do not allow shift swapping or restrict it to a limited amount of people per shift.

Shift swapping can be a hassle for you trying to maintain coverage and who should be working. I suggest either severely restricting how many people can swap shifts on a given shift or not allowing it at all.

Employees, especially part-time teenage employees, forget that they are there to satisfy the needs of the business. Instead they think the job is there to satisfy their needs. Should you allow to much flexibility in changing the schedule once it is posted; you could end up with insufficient coverage or to much coverage. By allowing unlimited swapping e schedule could and will get away from you.

Whatever you decide make sure to have a form to fill out for requesting time off or shift swapping. Make sure everyone knows that without you signature and possibly that of the managers as well it is not a approved until signed by you and the manger if needed and returned to them.

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I'm Muslim I'm not a virgin. I need to find a way to bleed on my wedding night. It's a culture thing. Don't talk about trust please.

I've heard that there may be a surgical procedure your gynecologist might do for you to implant a hymen in you. Whether you will bleed or not or if your gynecologist will do this for you I do not know.

If you are able to have the procedure you new husband will feel the restriction to his entering you. You should feel the proper amount of pain in the tearing of the replacement Hymen to make the right sounds to satisfy your husband.

Fact is though you do not have to have a Hyman to be a virgin. Many girls, especially those that have played sports, go horse back riding or use tampons have lost their hymens long before marriage and therefore have no reason to bleed on their weeding night. Also if you had any type of gynecological problem prior to marriage. It may have been necessary for the doctor to break your Hyman to care for you properly.

My suggestion is to tell your future husband that you no longer possess a Hyman, for whatever reason you chose to give him. That because of this do not expect you to bleed on your wedding night.

Without a Hymen there is no other way to tell if you are a virgin or not. without a Hymen to tear you will not bleed as you know. Even if you easily accept his penetration it does not mean you are not a virgin. You of course can practice controlling those muscle to clamp down when he attempts penetration so as to be tighter the first time.

Unless you live in a Muslim country and this is an arranged marriage, I suggest honesty. Tell your future husband the truth. I'm almost certain he has had the opportunity to sample the womanly delights of some other women, even in a Muslin country.

In a non Muslin Country like the USA if you are an adult you are entitled to a life of your own before marriage and that includes a sex life. If he truly loves you your being a non virgin will mean nothing to him.

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I was making out with my bf with clothes on(jeans)..on 20th day from my earlier period i got period bt scanty flow for 4 days.m i pregnant..is it implantation one?

Probably not. To get pregnant the boys penis must enter your vagina and semen must be ejected ino you from the penis.

Now there are instances when semen have been ejected on to the women close to her vagina or on to the outside of it and she has become pregnant. It would be most unlikely that semen ejected on to jeans would live after going through jeans and panties.

Most likely something else caused your period to be different this month. Stress or medication for an illness are two possible causes. If you are concerned a home test will set your mind at ease.

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18/F

I know I have social anxiety. I always have. My heart starts pounding, I get short of breath, and I have Tourettes, which also tend to go out of control in social situations so I'm standing there listening to someone and my body's twitching all over the place. I used to make my friends take up my papers in school because I was too scared to get up in front of everyone. Even getting picked on during class to answer a question made my face get really hot and my chest all tight.
I even do it over the Internet! If someone tries to chat me on Facebook, I get super nervous and spend at least five minutes trying to think of something proper to say, but then I feel like an idiot because when I do manage to finally speak, I always put my foot in my mouth. I know there's always going to be someone in the world who won't like me, but I guess the idea of that freaks me out so much that I try and please everyone when we first meet.
It doesn't help that this is preventing me from a job search. I hate using the phone because I start to stutter over the phone and at my last job interview, my mind drew a blank so I was stammering and tripping over words and saying extremely stupid things.
I have a therapist that I'm talking to, but I honestly don't think it's helping me overcome this. And it's so hard to force myself, because I know that I may get pumped up and ready to say something, but once I'm faced with the situation, my mind goes blank and I'm left stammering and picking words out of the air.
What I want to know is if there's anyone else with this problem, and what they may do to ease the suffocating sensation in a social situation because I'm never going to be able to get a job or make new friends this way. In fact, I think I'm losing some of my friends because of the way I talk when I finally get around to socializing.

I don't have the problems you have though I am disabled and unable to do certain things. So I think I can understand to a degree how upsetting your anxiety is for you.

First of all if you are not making any progress with your current therapist find a new one. I, as part of my disability, fell into a deep depression. I went through 3 therapists until I found one I was comfortable working with. When I did things got better and my depression is now in remission.

I don't know much about stuttering and learned the most about it from the movie the Kings Speech. As for Tourettes, one of my friends fathers when I was a child had a mild form of it. That was over 35 years ago. Today I believe much research has been done and medications found that can help relieve some of the symptoms.

Below are two websites I found that you might find helpful. One is the national Organization website for Tourettes. The other is a site that has some resources you might find useful.

Most importantly remember this: You will never be able to please everyone. The only one you have to please is yourself; the only one you have to be better than is to be better tomorrow than you are today. IF you can adopt this motto you will be much better for it and I believe your problem with stuttering will be easier to get under control.

The heck with what other people think. While I understand, though do not approve of children who would pick on you for your stuttering. At your present age if your peers are still doing so they a very immature and you do not need them. There are better people in this world then the ones you know today. So stop trying to impress them and work on impressing yourself first. Find a new therapist to work with and ask about what I just said for it is my belief that once you stop trying to impress others and work only on impressing yourself the stress that causes the anxiety will be lifted and you will make greater progress.



http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm

http://tourettes.org/resources.html

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My boyfriends father just got out of jail 5 months ago he had been in there for 4 years and this was my first time meeting him. He seemed generaly nice and when he asked if he could stay with us I told him I had to think about it. A day later he said he would pay rent and help with food if he could stay because he got Assistance. Having a new born I decided we needed all the help we could get. Well he didn't help with rent or food at first but he did a car payment for us so I let him stay. Every month he said he did a payment but still didn't help with rent. I got real frustrated when our lease was up and we had to move and he said he would pay half and turned up not paying a dime. I eneded up getting money off my parents to pay for a new place. Then a repo man came for our car. Apperently he had not been paying anything twards the car. Lately he has been staying with his mother and staying here once a week. One morning after staying here my parents picked me up to get the car back as a early christmas day present and he stayed behind. When we get home my boyfriends guns and amo was taken. (They were given to him by his dads dad so they are in his name) and his dad said it was because my boyfriend was going on the road for truck driving and we be gone days on end. Now his dad is saying we owe him 200$ for spending his money on our gas bill. We have already faught so bad I kicked him out once and he made my boyfriend pick me or him. (The fight was soon over when he realized I had been right and that I had nothing to be sorry about)after all this I don't want his dad living with me while my boyfriend is away and I don't like that he went in our room to get the amo. I don't know how to say this without upsetting everyone but I know if he stays ill pack my stuff and take off with my son(ill let my boyfriend know where I am and such). Advice?

First: A convicted felon, which your boyfriends father is. Whether on parole or not is not allowed to own or possess a gun. If he is on parole and in possession of any gun he is in violation of his parole and will be returned to prison to serve the remainder of his sentence.

All you need to do is inform his parole officer or call the police or sheriff. If he is not on parole and has served his sentence then being in possession of a gun is a new charge. Simply call the police or sheriff and report him. This is the quickest way to resolve this problem.

From what you have written your boyfriends father has proven himself untrustworthy in his promise to you and your boyfriend. Now by taking your gun and the ammo he is breaking his agreement with the parole board if he is on parole and should return to prison.

You have not said what sent your boyfriends father to prison in the first place. If he commits another crime? Do you want a gun registered to you used in the commission of a felony. By knowingly allowing him to keep the gun you could be charged with aiding and abetting in any crime(s) he commits with the gun as well as harboring if he remains in your home.

You don't say what the relationship is between your boyfriend and his father. Whatever it may be it is not reason enough to endanger either of yours freedoms by allowing this man to have that gun in his possession. Call the police or his parole office and report him. This protects you, your boyfriend and your child.

Just to endure your safety ask the landlord to change the locks on your place when your boyfriends father is not there. To give only you and your boyfriend a key and not anyone else including your boyfriends father. Then pack his things and set them outside. This protects you and the baby while you await the justice system to do their thing.

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I have recently been told by my 13 yr old sister that my dad is having an affair, she knew this because she read a conversation on skype with a woman and I read that conversation myself yesterday and from what I read he is having an affair but I don't know whether i should tell my step-mum as i fear she wont believe me and I feel I may create more problems. I am constantly thinking about it as I am always around my step-mum or my dad and I don't know what to do. My friends think I should tell my dad I know and tell him to stop or ill tell her but i dont think that is right, I need some serious advice, please help!

The short answer to your question is no.

It is not the children's place to involve themselves in their parents marriage in this manner. If dad is having an affair, which you believe or have proof he is, there is nothing you can do about it but cause more harm than good.

Telling your father you know can harm your relationship with your father. Since you have not said what your age is or what has happened to or where your biological mom is. Harming your relationship with your father is detrimental to you leaving you with no safe haven. The same goes for informing your step-mom.

It is possible you step-mom is aware of your fathers affair and chosen to accept or ignore his indiscretions as long as he comes home to her each night. This is something you may not be aware of and letting her or both of them know you are aware will upset the delicate balance at work here. This is a possibility that happens in the real world just as in the Hollywood movies.

If you truly feel you can't live with the situation then I suggest you speak with his sister, brother or your fathers parents if they are still alive and let one of them talk to him. Something like this is easier dealt with between two adults thena child, any age, to parent.

I can understand how you feel and I'm sorry you have placed yourself in the middle of this. The best thing to do in your best interest is to try to ignore this or let another close relative speak to your father.

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This feels weird but, I'm a senior in high school, male/17. And lately I've been having this thing for the younger girls at school, like 14 & 15. There's one I know and I like her, the ones I know seem a lot nicer than some of the senior girls I know. My senior class is kind of small, and most of us know eachother. The girl I like, (we're not that close) when I'm with her I feel like the people around me are looking at me like I'm crazy. This junior kid I know told me to stop trying to go out with freshmen. Our age gap is under 3 years to be exact. My close friends, like 3 of them, don't see anything wrong with it. And why is it that when the guy is younger, people don't say anything. My friend was once with an older senior girl who had to do a 5th year. And I had a friend who was like 15 and with a college girl. Idk. Should I just avoid it? Is it really that bad? I'm starting to like her, what can I do. I don't want people I know thinking that I'm weird/creepy.

IF you were 27 and she 24 or 25 I would tell you to go for it. But at 17 and 14 or 15 the maturity levels are to far apart.

The girls) would be or are so infatuated by the fat that a senior boy is interested in them they are going to try and please you as they think a senior girl might. This is where the problems come out.

I'm not saying you would pressure this girl or take advantage of her because she is immature. I'm saying because of her immaturity and lack of dating skills if things were to get to hot she is most likely not going to know when to call a stop.

In everything we do and this includes dating, there is a learning curve or a time when we need training wheels. This is why when we are teenagers we need to date within our age group. To learn how to date because at our own age we all have the same worries and anxieties about dating. You have gone well past this. You could say you are way more worldly then she.

No you are not weired just a few years ahead of your time. If after you both graduate and you see her on a break from college and want to date her go ahead. For now find someone that is 16 or 17 to date.

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