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Was I being abused? If so what kind of abuse? Am I overreacting?
I am always being yelled at. Mostly "WHAT THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!??", "I HATE YOU!", "WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR SISTER?!??", and "nobody likes fat people. If you are fat nobody will love you and you will die alone."
A few things he calls me are:
Fat
Stupid
Ugly
Lazy
How he makes me feel:
Fat
Stupid
Ugly
Lazy
Untalented
Worthless
Crazy
Like its always my fault
Alone
Unloved
Depressed
Suicidal
Things that have resulted from constant yelling,name calling, and a few beatings:
Him saying he hates me
Him refusing to feed me
Confusion of sexuality
Shyness
Suicidal thoughts
Thoughts of killing him
Plans to run away
Attempted cutting
Attempted purging
Attempts to starve myself. Fantasy coping (only a few hours spent in reality)
Scared of men
Hate being touched
Hate him
Hate relationships with people
Have to sever all relationships with men after 3 months
Loner
Don't trust people
Confusion (mostly of if I'm being abused and if he ever molested me)
Foggy memories of him laying on top of me asleep and I want to get away but can't.
Self hatred
A few things he has done:
Refused to feed me
Compare me to sister
Forced me to lay in bed with him
Forced me to hug him
Forced me to sit in his lap
Forced me to kiss his mouth (long time)
Yells if I don't let him lay with me in bed
Stomped my dogs head in the ground
Threw one of my dogs across the concrete
I don't want to call authorities when I have so much to be happy about. I.e- four friends that sometimes pay attention to me, two dogs and a cat that love me very much, a big yard, and im in the middle class money area. I know some people go through so much more (beatings,rape,neglect, homeless,broke, etc.) so I really don't mean to complain. It's weird that I'm just now thinking that this may be abuse (like how when my older sister was 6 he told her she got to fat and forced her to get on the treadmill everyday even though she was an average weight.) For some reason I just have a strong feeling I was raped or molested and so was my sister but I just don't know....thank you.
I'm a 13yr old female.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
you may not want to but tell someone or maybe you will cut purge and all that stuff. tell the authorities. if their your friends theyll stick by you throught this.
good luck
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I don't want to sound mean but even though you say people have it worse you are probably in that category. You need to get help from someone. That is abuse verbally and mentally. You need to get away from there and call the police. Because no one should be treated like that.
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I don't know if you're going to like this but it's time to get some help. You need to call the police and tell them everything you told us or tell a close relative and ask them if you can stay with them. And yes, what he does is called ABUSE. From what I read he has physically, verbally, and mentally abused you and your sister. Maybe you should go to another family member and have them call the police with you. Either way, you and your sister don't need to be around this man anymore. THIS IS A HARMFUL ENVIRONMENT AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE. Maybe you can talk to your counselor at school and see if they can help you because you can't stay with your dad anymore. It's time to SPEAK UP.
GET HELP FROM SOMEONE.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Should I assume you are talking about your father?
It really doesn't matter if this person is your father or guardian or other male member of your home. From what you have written you are being abused and molested.
This is so wrong I could write a book and still not finish telling you how wrong this is.
Whoever is doing this to you has no right to do so. He is a child abuser and child molester.
What you must do is report this or it will effect you for the rest of your life. You will never be able to have a normal relationship with a male until what is happening to you stops and you properly put it behind you. You have already written; "Confusion of sexuality," this will only get worse if not properly addressed.
You did not speak of your mother. If she is allowing your father to do this then she is just as guilty as he is. If your mother doesn't live with you and is till alive and you are able to contact her then do so. Tell her what your father is doing to you, your sister and you animals.
If you cannot go to mom for help then talk to a trusted teacher at school or your school principal. There are procedures they will follow to insure your safety and that of your sisters.
Should this result in your father being taken from you and for some reason mom is not available to care for you. Social services will try to place you with a member of your family. Aunts, Uncles, cousins or grandparents before placing you with total strangers. I know your fear of losing the good things you have. What you have written of the bad things you have are so bad that even if you were to lose all of the good things, which you won't, your life would be far better. I'm old enough to be your grandfather so please understand that what I am asking or advising is in your best interest based on what you have written.
There is also a hot-line you can call for help. The people who answer the hot-line are far better trained to help you then I am. The name of the organization is RAINN. RAINN stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. Their phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE. You can also contact them over the web at: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
I suggest calling and talking to them if you can. The hot-line is available 24/7 365 days a year. Tell them what you have written to us. They can talk with you and help you in ways that we cannot.
From what you have written you are being abused and you are being molested. Whoever is doing this is not only wrong; he is a criminal and is harming you in oh so many ways. You do not have to stand for this even if he is your father or brother. Call the police or call RAINN. But get help now PLEASE.
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