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I want to hit my mother so bad.....
My mom creates arguments and fights about EVERYTHING. Ever since she got a new promotion its only gotten worse during the week. When my oldest sister "K" was 15, she went through a stage where she was the worst teen ever, fights, mental stuff,probation etc etc etc. They always verbally and physically fought. Well now she is 20 and doing great with her life. She's in the military, she's got her life together and that's great. But, that left an effect on my mother, she treats me and my other big sister like crap. She cusses us out, gets mad over the house not being clean, says we disrespect her and we don't. She's been through a lot in her life and has kept it together but she makes us antisocial and she acts as if we really are bad teens. We don't get in fights, drink, smoke, have sex, NONE of that. Yet she gets in our faces, cusses us out, has the audacity to hit us. Sometimes I want to do what my oldest sister did. I want to hit her so badly but I already know what will happen. I will never go back once I do that and she'll tell the whole family. Plus the fact that I look alot like my oldest sister doesn't help. I have a much shorter temper fuse which doesn't help. But back when we had all those issues going on, I vowed I would never lay a hand on my mother or any of that, but she makes it SO hard. I'm not a bad teen, I do NOTHING wrong. So what if I get an attitude when she's yelling at me for not saying hello (Its the morning and I can't open my mouth before I brush.) ? Do I deserve to be yelled at? I can't take this. I'm 15 and I've got a lot more years to go with her. I can't ever go over my friends house, take a ride home or any of that without her making it etremely hard. I just wanna hurry and get this all over with and start my life. ANY ADVICE? PLEASE..........
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I have the same problem kind of. My mom gets mad over nothing all the time and when she is around she is always telling us to clean up around the house and my mom makes it difficult because she is ylling about how bad of a job we did.blah blah blah ect...anyway I found that when my mom is gone i like to get my work done without her there because than I don't have her always looking over my back getting ready to yell at me for not doing something right. I would also consider getting closer to your mom. Do what she likes. My mom loves to read and when she is in a pissy mood I talk about books or cooking she loves those things. Tell her things that don't remind her about her aspects of life she can't stand at the moment. You should also try getting a break from her by sleeping over at a friends house. Because sometimes you need those breaks to just cool down. Even if you have to do a lot of work just to go at least you get a break from them. Just the other night I went to afriends house and to do that I had to clean the house for a week but it was worth it in the end.
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This is a tough one to deal with.
Other than the hitting, and depending where and how she hits you. What you have written could be viewed as moms' parenting style. Sort of a tough love style of parenting. I don't particularly like the style but some parents think it is the best way to raise teenagers.
As for the hitting. No one, even parents, have the right to hit their children or someone else. Now a couple of smacks on your butt is discipline. Hitting you across the face or hitting you anywhere else or even a severe spanking is considered child abuse.
Since this all started after a promotion at work I am going to make a leap here and say mom must be under a lot of stress at work. The promotion may have even meant a loss of control over things at work and she compensates by being overly controlling at home.
Stress or being controlling are two factors of depression. There are others that need to be identified before a diagnoses of depression can be made. It may be that mom is suffering from clinical depression and is the reason for her attitude.
It would be great if you could talk mom into going to see the doctor and be screened for depression. The chance of you being able to do that or either of your older sisters is slim if at all. You could talk with an Aunt, Uncle or grandparent and see if they could talk to mom about seeing the doctor.
What you can do is talk to the doctor yourself. Tell moms doctor what is going on at home and that you suspect mom is depressed. Moms' doctor may be able to get her to come in for a routine physical and while she is there screen her for depression. The screening is nothing more than asking a number of question. Many of which would be asked during a routine physical anyway. With the answers to the questions the doctor can make a diagnoses and offer medication or suggest mom see another set of doctors or both.
If mom hits you and your sister on a regular bases, especially on your head and face. Then this is something you need to be proactive about. This needs to be reported to social services so they can step in to help mom. You can do this by talking to a trusted teacher or your school principal about being hit, where she hits you and how often. Their are guidelines in place that the school must follow to protect you.
Social services can force mom to see a doctor if they feel she is stressed out and needs help. In the mean time they will also watch out for you and your sister while mom is being helped. This does not mean they will take you from her. This is the last thing they want to do. They have other ways of seeing to your safety including having the teachers at school talk with you daily about what is going on at home.
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