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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm a 13 year old girl. My best friend and I have been fighting. We were fighting at her cousins house and she pushed me then kicked me in the head. It really hurt afterwards but I was ok. She betrayed my trust and then lied to me about it. She has been very mean to my boyfriend and he thinks I should stop being her friend (not just for him but for me too). My parents aren't crazy about her either. She used to be nice and actually beautiful, and I don't know what happened to her. I've always found someway to forgive her but this time I don't know.

The previous two advisers have given you some good advice. Friends come and go as we go through life not all childhood friends are friends for life.

As to why she has changed. I can make a guess that puberty has caused some of the changes you are seeing in her. Puberty causes many changes in us as we learn to deal with all the new hormones surging through us. Girls more than boys experience more changes.

Jealousy seems to come out more during and after then before. She may be jealous of the fact that you have a boyfriend or that you are prettier than she is. It could be you have developed sooner or better than she has. Jealousy is a terrible emotion; try your best not to fall prey to it.

Fact is we really have no reason to be jealous of one another. Jealousy is an irrational emotion. We are what we are and we are the ones responsible for who and what we are. Still we get jealous of those who have more, who may be look better than we do or just do better than we do.

As for this girl. For the present I would try my best to ignore her. It is possible that someday in the future you two can be friends again. I would wait and let her come to me. This is my advice for now.

I am an 18 year old girl from Texas. I met this guy on a dating site and we started having phone conversations every night for 3-6 hours. After the second call we decided we were together. I thought I had fallen for him, but he's in for a much more serious relationship than I am. He wants to get engaged when we graduate high school in six months and get married six months after. He wants to go to the same college and live together. Every time I tell him I want to break up he talks me out of it. He's done really bad things related to drugs and crime and I am afraid he will do something to me. I am a good girl. I have a 4.0 GPA, I'm in varsity orchestra, varsity lacrosse, cross country, I work and I'm working on going to A&M. I've never associated with someone like him. He says I'm putting him in the right path and now I feel responsible. Please help...

If I read this correctly you two have not met in person; you have only spoken on the phone. I would be suspicious of someone who would want to get married having never met and after just two phone calls.

The answer here is simple. You send him a text telling him short and to the point, don't mince words; "DON'T CALL ME, DON'T TEXT ME." "I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU." "IF YOU CONTINUE TO CALL OR TEXT I WILL CONSIDER IT HARRASMENT AND STALKING AND MAKE IT A PLOICE MATTER."

That is all you need to say to him. Then if you have caller ID on you phone you can block his calls and I believe you can block his texts as well. I would go one step further and inform the dating site that this guy is not what his resume may say.

Never let anyone control you for any reason. He is responsible for himself. If he wants to clean up his act he does not need you or anyone else to do so.

Do not agree to meet him, he is trouble. Send him the message I wrote in capitals and move on with your life. You are headed in the right direction. You do not need someone like him in your life leading you in the wrong direction. which is what a controller can do.

I can tell from what little you have written you are far better than to let anyone control you. You have charted a destiny for yourself. You need to allow yourself to follow that destiny.

Does that even make sense? I mean, I'm a woman and currently in a relationship with a man. And that's fine by me. I'm attracted to men, but at the same time, I want to be a man. I've always been a bit of a tomboy and I'm not shy about a man's body at all or the way it works. These thoughts have been in my head for years now, this is the seventh year, but I'm not sure if I should act on this or find something to purge the thoughts. I've never told anyone this, not my family or my therapist. What should I do??

This is not the type of question any of us can really help you with. Since you are already seeing a therapist I would suggest that this is something you explore with your therapist.

If for some reason you are uncomfortable exploring this issue with your current therapist then I suggest you seek out a therapist skilled in this area.

You are not the first man to feel as you do. You are not gay you are possibly transgender. What you need to explore with a therapist skilled in this area is what those feelings mean to you.

Are you a woman trapped in a man's body? Yes, it happens and doctors now realize it. If so do you want to anything about it? Meaning do you want to go through gender reassignment surgery? If so a good therapist can help you with this.

It is not easy to transgender. There is at least two years of psychotherapy and you have to live as a women during that time. You will have to take female hormones for the rest of your life. Once you start to take the female hormones your breast will enlarge. At this point you might be called a shemale as you would start to look like a female but have the sex organs of a male.

At this point if you still prefer women over men you might be considered gay. It would also be at this point time to start deciding whether you would want to complete the crossover with the final gender reassignment surgery; where they would use your penis to make a vagina for you.

As I said this process takes at least 2 years and you need I believe two psychiatrist to approve of the transgendering should you want to make the body transformation. It is expensive and it is not without health risks. So you really need to explore this with a competent therapist before you start down this road.

okay so this isnt really a sex question but when I had a bf, I got REALLY wet just making out! I want it to stop. I know some people say its a good thing andgys like it but I dont. I have tried pantyliner's and It doesnt work to provent it. This is really embarrassing but I get wet through my pants and I want it to stop. Please help if there is anyway! Thanks in advance. Oh and I am only 16 and have only made out and it was that bad just doing that. thanks again

Getting wet is a natural reaction to becoming sexually aroused. The only way to stop it is to not become sexually aroused. To not make out with your boyfriend.

When you become wet it is your body preparing your for intercourse. Nothing says you have to have intercourse though by becoming sexually aroused your body is going to prepare itself. This is an automatic response to an overt act. There is nothing you can do to stop it. You can try to think of something else when becoming aroused.

Try thinking about homework assignments, family vacations or something that really grosses you out. I can't guarantee you can do this while making-out or if it will even work, though you can try.

You can also speak to your GYN about this. There is nothing to be embarrassed about and you are old enough by law to speak with the doctor in confidence without mom being in the exam room. This is a right under a law known as HIPPA. Since you are older than 14 you can seek help from any doctor for any condition regarding your reproductive system in confidence without parental intervention.

There is nothing you can talk to your doctor about that he or she has not heard or treated before. Your doctor is their to help you and this law was enacted to allow you to speak frankly with your doctor so you can be treated properly. Only you and your doctor will know what you were seen for and treated for. Anyone else who wants know needs written permission from you, this includes your parents, before the doctor can tell them anything about your visits.

So see your GYN; if there is anything they can do about this condition I am sure they will offer it to you.

When I used the bathroom today (pooped) there was large amount of blood in the toilet. The water was basically red. Completely. But it didn't hurt me to use the bathroom. I had no idea there was all that blood in the toilet until I looked down to wipe. Even though it didn't hurt me to use the bathroom, for the past few days I have been experiencing random pain in my anus. I could be sitting down, or even walking. Is this something to be concerned about? Do any of my symptoms ring a bell?

There are a number of reasons for this to happen. The most common is internal hemorrhoids. An internal hemorrhoid is bulge in the veins surrounding the anus. This is a condition that you could have been born with or developed over time due to hard, dry stools(poop) caused by diet. This is a condition that is not always serious or requires a doctors intervention.

There are other reasons that are also benign and not requiring a doctors intervene. There are some reasons that do require a doctors intervention. The only way to know for sure is to see your doctor and let the doctor examine you and possible send you to a specialist for a better examination then a family doctor can do.

Most likely unless something is wrong further up your intestinal track the doctors will suggest stool softeners. Surgery to correct hemorrhoids is usually an elective surgery not a required surgery.

While there is a small chance something other than hemorrhoids is the problem. I don't think you have much to worry about. Though you do need to see the doctor soon so that your mind can be put at ease and the doctors can make suggestions so as to limit this from happening.

im 13 years old and my boyfriend is 18 years old (im thinking should i have sex with him its cause i feel hes to big for me and shit im steel virgin) what should i do should i have sex with him?

First do not think of having sex with him you are way to young and he is way to old for you. Do not think of kissing him in any way other than on the cheek either.

By law you and he should not be dating or be seeing each other in an type of relationship. He can go to jail and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life just by being with you in a relationship way.

Any teenage boy who is 18 or older should know this law. Does he know you are 13, 5 years younger than him, putting him in jeopardy of being charged with statutory Rape? This Law has nothing to do with whether or not you have had sex. Do your parents know you are seeing him and how old he is?

There is something wrong when an 18 year old boy seeks to date a 13 year old girl. He should be dating someone way closer to his age. Some one at least 16 or 17 years old. I would say he is counting on your immaturity to get from you what he is unable to get from someone his own age.

If I were your father I would forbid him from seeing you under threat of reporting him to the police. This is how strongly I feel that he is or will be trying to take advantage of your young age and immaturity.

You need to stop seeing him. IF he objects or continues to try and see you let you parents handle him.

You may not like what I have written and you can rate me poorly if you like. I have given you the best advice you will ever get and I may be just saving your life. There is no reason for him to be dating you at your age. If he knows how young you are there is something wrong with him and you could be in danger.

15 yo/f
So recently I lost my virginity-

It doesn't hurt when I'm on the bottom but it does when I'm on top... Is this normal?

It could be normal. If it continues you should see a doctor, a GYN. By law you are old enough to see your doctor about your reproductive system without parental consent or supervision. The law is known as HIPPA.

Frankly you are a little to young to be having sex. I hope you are taking the proper precautions against pregnancy and STDS.

I want to marry my lover and I am marry with my wife

Polgramy is illegal in most states actually in all states

Okay, so I'd asked this question earlier as well but I guess I wasnt clear in it.
Basically there is this guy I really like. The problem is that I am too short for him. I am 4'11 (151 cm) and that guy is 5'11-ish. And I feel REALLY consious about that. He lives in a another city so its not like we can meet everyday and eventually get used to eachother's difference.

So my questions are, where does a 4'11 person reach a 5'11 or 6 feet guy?
What do guys think of girls as short as 4'10-4 11
Those in relationships, coulld you please temme your height difference

X

I really do not see a problem her though you must or you would not be writing us. Not knowing your age does hinder me somewhat in my answering of your question.

What is your concern here? Are you afraid of what others may think of your height difference? To hell with what others may think. The only people whose opinion is important here are the two of you. Your difference in height should not make any difference in choosing him for a life partner if that is what you see him for.

Sure people will tell you many things. Such as your children will be short as you. Not so; your children could turn out to taller then him. Are you shorter than your parents, grandparents? Genes are tricky things. Your children may turn out to follow a long lost family gene. They could be blond and blue eyed where the rest of the family are brown and dark hair. You just never know.

I'm just as sure that someone your height married to someone his height will find that certain parts of their married life will require some adjustments. Adjustments are just that, adjustments not stumbling blocks. You find away to comfortably adjust and then you move forward in comfort and enjoyment of each other.

In this problem, if this is a problem that you see; there are only two people whose opinions mean anything. Yours and his, that truly all that matters.

Frankly you may be seeing a problem I don't. People will always find away to try and derail another persons happiness. Why I have never figured out. Do not let this be one of them.

falright, hey internet. Me and my girlfriend ( ages 21 and 22 im older) have been dating for 4 and a half years. She asked me at the movies last night, if i could "massage her" some time, but the way she said it... I knew she wanted MORE then a massage. Are there dos and donts for having sex for the first time (im a virgin) any certain positions or styles? I know all of the stuff like oral, anal and normal genital-contact (penis in vagina) but, i wanted to know if there were any other forms, or whatever. Im asking you LADIES out there. What do girls like?

First time sex for a virgin or two virgins is always best if you use the missionary position. Another good position is the reverse of the missionary position where the male is on the bottom and female is on the top.

This is a good position for the female who is a virgin as it gives her control of the speed and depth of the first time she is penetrated. The girl being above can make the first time less scary and maybe less painful for her if she is in control. It is something you can and should talk about.

Some advise from an old timer of a grandpa's age. When I give advise about sex the first thing I tell anyone is communication between the couple is key to a successful sex life. Second is that sex like anything else has a learning curve to it. Sure we all know the basics of it. But what makes it perfect. That is where the first part comes in. You need to talk to each other and tell and teach each other what feels good.

Most men think that you get a girl off in foreplay by shoving their fingers in her vagina. In the vast majority of women doing this will cause them to climax because they are vaginal in their pleasure. There are some women that get more pleasure from clitoral stimulation. If you don't stimulate their clitoris during foreplay it is very possible they will not be properly stimulated for intercourse. Again this is where communication comes in.

The same goes for the male. Most males can be stimulated easily and don't need a lot of foreplay. Still foreplay is very much part of having sex, a very intimate part for this is where your partner gets to explore your body. Now in some ways males are no different than females as they have likes and don't likes in the way they are touched or sucked. This needs to be communicated. For instance. There are many men that like to have or will tolerate having their nipples sucked. Many women like to do this. Their are some men that just don't like it.

Since you are a virgin let your girl try different foreplay techniques to see what you do and do not like. You need to tell her so then she doesn't do it again.

Last but not least. Sex has to be consensual between both parties. Meaning, for instance anal sex. You want to she doesn't. Then it is not done. You don't switch sides in the middle of sex thinking she might enjoy it. She has said no to it and NO always means NO. To force it on her is then rape. Stop also means STOP.

Either partner can say NO and either partner can say STOP. Those words mean exactly what they say.

Below is a link to a website I usually give to women who as the question about sex for the first time. If you are both virgins I suggest you both read it together. You should read it with her in any case as it will give you some insight and together it will start the communications you should have. You've been together for this long taking this next step should allow for communicating as well.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

Hi I'm 22 and I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months at the begining he was soo nice to me,apart from that I was pregnant with another man baby but my recent boyfriend didn't mind!he told him mum that the baby I'm havin its his!after I gave birth I moved to his mothers house its a nightmare I hate this place so much!!she's so controling and wants to know evrything,and evrytime me and my boyfriend argue he uses the baby agains me and scares me that he will tell his mum its not his.he has he's own place and I go see him once in a while he became soo abusive he shouts at me over litle things and hits me las time he kicked me in my knee and I coudnt walk he have me black eye,and I got bruises all over my body!!I love him soo much but part off me wants to leave him and part of me doesn't!!he doesn't let me go and see my family,friends all I do is look after the baby and worse thing he takes almost all of my maternity money,he's verry abusive and controling,I want to get out this relationship but don't know how!!

You may love your boyfriend but you cannot stay with him it is not safe for you or your child. We are all in one way or another products of our environment. His mother is controlling and he is controlling. Worse he is abusive. He has hit you that is not acceptable and that also makes him a criminal as assaulting anyone is a criminal offense.

You need to get away from him and his mother. If you have family you can go to then go to them. If not there are safe shelters you can go to immediately where you will receive shelter and help in finding a permanent place to stay.

You did not say where you are from, though if you are in any of the 50 states in the U.S. You can go to any Police Station or Fire Station and ask for assistance. These places are designated safe havens. for women and children.

There is also a well known organization that operates shelters for battered women called the house of Ruth. They also operate a 24/7 hotline, the number is:1-877-988-5559. They may not offer a shelter in your city though they will be able to offer you advice and assistance call them.

Staying in this relationship is not good for you or your child. You need to get to someplace safe where you can get the professional help to insure that the legal requirements for the baby by the father are met. This is one of the many things shelters such as the house of Ruth offer. They will also help you get protection orders to keep the boyfriend away from you and your child as well as filings of police reports for the assault.

Just so I know you are aware. The babies father regardless of whether he wishes to be in the babies life, is responsible for this child until it turns 18. That means child support as agreed upon between you or ordered by the court. Health insurance and a college fund are his minimum responsibilities to this child. All of this needs to be worked out and put on paper then awarded by the courts. This is the child's protection.

The short of it is you need to get out of where your living. Stop seeing the boyfriend as it is not safe. Get a legal order of protection from the boyfriend so you and the baby are protected. See a lawyer for the proper orders to make sure the babies biological father provides the support he is required to. Call the House of Ruth for advise and possible sheltering.

Ok so i have only ever been out with guys. But there has always been something missing, apart from this one guy.
And i have become a lot more attracted to women lately - Not like "yeah i want to bang them" more of - "they're beautiful". Its hard to explain - and its hard to admit to myself i could be gay.
But i find myself looking at women more than men. And because of a certain incident - i would rather be with a woman, because i find guys can be too ... you know...
So yeah - i need help. I think i might be but can't admit it to myself.
I have kissed a girl - none of us shyed away.
Just need an outsiders point of view.
Oh and btw - yeah i have seriously fallen for this girl. So bad.
I have gfell for women before also... But also fell for guys - but never fell for a guy like i have fallen for these women

I'm guessing that you are a young teenager some where between 13 and 16 years of age. If I'm correct while it is possible you could be gay; I don't think you are. In fact what I think is happening is what happens to all teenagers during their early teens. They become somewhat sexually confused and this is normal.

It is during this time in your life that you explore your sexuality. It is normal to look at and experience sex within your own sex. It is safer for both males and females to experience sex within their own sex as they learn about themselves. This is also a period of heavy masturbation an fantasizing. This is how we learn about our own sexuality.

While you become a lesbian? Doubtful as this is not something you become but something you are born as. You could become bi-sexual, which is someone who enjoys having sex with members of both sexes.

For now though I believe you are a normal teenager who is exploring her sexuality. Enjoy yourself but don't label yourself. It is far to early to label your sexual being.

Im 13 and im suffering from rape since i was 9.I was bullied,raped,molested and threatened.I cried,cried and cried but no one hears my voice.I want to be like other children but i am not.I am a bad and dirty girl.I want to end my life and i will and i deserve it.Yesterday I was again raped.Is this why,I came in the world so that people use me like a disposiable toy.

I am so, so sorry you have suffered as you have. N this is not the reason you were brought into this world. I am old enough to be your grandfather and I am going to offer you some advice and support to help you.

It sounds more like you are being molested, I can only guess by whom and it doesn't really matter who. What matters is that it has happened and it has to stop today.

The quickest way to stop this is to call 911 and tell the call taker what you have told us. The police will come to your house and protect you from whoever is doing this. You are a victim, no matter what your abuser may be telling you, you are the victim and the police will protect you. So call 911 now.

Have whatever clothes you were wearing at the time or the bed sheets, ready for them as they as they will want them. Hopefully they have not been laundered yet.

Once you have called the police and you are old enough to do so do not let anyone tell you different. I would like you to call another number to some people that can help you get past this.

The name of the organization I want you to call is RAINN. RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a hotline which is open 24/7 365. It works as follows: When a caller dials 1.800.656.HOPE, a computer notes the area code and first three digits of the caller's phone number. The call is then instantaneously connected to the nearest RAINN member center. If all counselors at that center are busy, the call is sent to the next closest center. The caller's phone number is not retained, so the call is anonymous and confidential unless the caller chooses to share personally-identifying information.

Everything you share with the counselors is confidential unless you tell them differently. They will help you find trained professional people to work with you. So that the horror of what happened to you is put behind you in a proper manor so that you may get on with your life.

What you have gone through is wrong, it has happened and you are a victim. You can't just ignore this and get on with your life or it will haunt you. With the proper help you can put it behind you. This is what RAINN and there crisis centers help you with. Finding the right help and if need be helping you report this crime.

Yes whoever has done this to you has committed a crime regardless of their age or relationship to you. It is crime they need to be punished for and that is why you must call the police.

Regardless of what he may have said to you; the police will take whatever you tell them very seriously and protect you and anyone else he may have threatened to make you comply. So call 911 then call RAINN.

Those who have hurt you will be punished. It starts with just one phone call. Be brave and make that call. Call 911

I found out my live in boyfriend has been having an affair. When I confronted him about it he admitted to it and said his mistress is married. I have since found out that she is not married (and never was).Why would he lie to me about her being married? What difference would it make if she was or wasn't married?

Most likely he lied to soften the fact that he was cheating and that it would not or could not amount to anything. Bull Sh*t, he is a cheater and a liar and you should not trust him.

Generally when confronted with this type of situation I am hesitant to tell you what to do but to just answer the question. Which I have. I would be remiss if I didn't add my thoughts here that you would be better off without him.

He cheated on you and then for whatever stupid reason after admitting to it he compound the situation with a lie. This is not someone you want to make a life with. Tell him to take a hike.

It's been almost two weeks and the suspense is killing me!!!.... I'm pretty young and I am not able to go get a pregnancy test... So I'm here wondering if their is a home thing that I can do without my parents finding out????... I really need this so I can get it officially off my mind

I'm not aware of any law that has an age restriction on the purchase of a home pregnancy test kit. It is an over the counter purchase. If it is on display and there is no sign saying you need to be a certain age or that you must speak to the pharmacist when purchasing, then I think it is safe for you to purchase.

One thing you could do for your own privacy is if they are sold in your supermarket and the supermarket has a self checkout line. Make the purchase of the test kit at the supermarket and use the self checkout line. This way there should be no one to question or embarrass you.

I went through a divorce, lost my house and family, bankruptcy and lost my job all within the last year. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. I am suicidal most days but haven't attempted yet. What do I do? I have been through lots of therapy also. I don't really want to die, just want pain to stop. Help me please.

You have every right to be clinically depressed; you have had a lot to deal with in a very short period of time. I can understand how you feel having had a similar problem with clinical depression after being disabled by a car accident where I was the only victim and innocent in a three car collision. My disability forced me to retire before I was ready or fully prepared.

I know how you are feeling at the moment and all I can tell you is to hang in there, things do get better. Therapy with a good therapist, someone you are comfortable in working with is only part of the answer. Medication to help relieve the clinical cause of depression may also be needed.

Clinical depression is caused mostly by stress and you have had more than your share. Stress effects mood swings. The body has two hormones that control mood swings and depression. Given the amount of stress you are under your body may not be making enough of either hormone to help you control your mood swings and depression.

Therapy with a clinical psychologist helps identify and deal with the stress(ors) it does nothing to add to or replace the missing hormones; only a doctor can help with this.

The best doctor to help with this since these hormones are secreted in the brain is a Board Certified psychiatrist. They are best trained to deal with this problem and have served a fellowship and past the needed test to be certified in psychiatry. No your not crazy; you would have to suffer from manic depression to be classified as delusional and depressed.

I would like you to do three things for me which I believe will help you feel better sooner and keep you safe.

You say you feel suicidal most days, I understand this. If ever you feel like acting upon this or start to think about how. Please promise you will pick up the phone and dial 911. I understand that right now you are in a bad place and things just don't make a lot of sense. That's the depression talking. It makes us see things differently than if we were not depressed.

Next I would like you to find a Board Certified psychiatrist to visit with and hopefully be prescribed the proper medications that will help you feel better and allow you to work better with you therapist.

The third thing I would like you to do is call the following hot line where they can help you with the second thing if you need. They are the National Suicide prevention Hot Line. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. They will find you the help you need in your neighborhood.

As I said I have been where you are today and I have survived and recovered. There is alight at the end of this tunnel. The right kind of help is there all you need to do is ask for it. IF need be I am here to correspond with if you wish too.

I met my friend back about 2 months ago when she first moved into the apartment complex. This woman is 52 and lives alone. I live across the hall from her so I would visit often. We both gradually started getting into refurbishing our old furniture, shopping together and hanging out. We seemed to of got along very well. (I am 27) suddenly, yesterday I come home from my mothers to find all my board games I gave too her grandson in front of my door with a note that read already have thanks anyway then to find out she removed me from Facebook and now walks by me like I don't exist?. I don't know what the hell too think. I went out of my way to help her many times. I even texted and called her bit no answer. I am not good with confrontation in person...should I move on or what?

I can only think of two possible reasons for her behavior. Is it possible that you may have missed some type of overture from her that has hurt her? The other is someone may have said something about you, true or untrue, that she has come to decide to believe.

In either case it would be hard, living across the hall from each other to simply move on. There needs to be some sort of closure. I would suggest you write her a note and slip it under her door. the note would say something to the effect.

I have no idea what I could have done or said to upset you so that it has ruined a friendship I have come to value. If I have done anything like that am truly sorry and apologize. Whatever I may have said or may have done I can assure you was done without thought and was never intended to hurt you. On the chance someone has said something about me or our friendship I would like to know what that is so I can either explain, disprove or in the case of our friendship; if it has anything to do with our ages forget what others may have said. I am not looking for a mommy figure I wanted and found a friend that simple.

The note does not have to be exactly like that but it has what I think may be the problem(s) that caused her to terminate the friendship. You end the letter with. If our friendship is over I would at least like to know the why or the what so I can deal with it. Now all I am is hurt. I think you owe me at least an explanation as to why. My door is always open to you.

im athiest and my parents are very strong christians (practicly everyone in my community is white and christian) and i dont want my christian friends to hate my guts. I am firm on my anti-diety beliefs and im not going to change to please anybody. I honestly dont care. I want to know how to tell my friends and family (i need to) without them throwing a bitch-fit at me. Please help! Thanks :)

My first thought is why do you have to tell them anything? I can see the fact that not going to church or youth group or attending any other church activities might be a giant red flag. Still this is your choice and no one needs to know or why you have made this choice.

I'm an agnostic and when my friends ask me why I am not in church or Temple, which I believe is none of their business. I simply tell them that I do not believe in organized religion. That I believe organized religion has become big business. They can then draw their own conclusions from there.

At work when asked about religion I usually answer that my parents religion is ______. If pressed further I give my response as to my belief in organized religion. Generally people back away and get the hint that this is subject I either do not wish to discuss or consider quite personal.

The three topics of conversation that can ruin a friendship and are not a topic for discussion at work are; sex, religion and politics. If you stay away from theses topics you can better maintain your friendships. If asked you opinion or questions on these topics you simply say I prefer to keep my opinions on this or these subjects private. People should respect you for that as these subjects are just that; private.

As I said in the beginning I see no reason to tell anyone. You and I have made our choices. There is no need to tell anyone and then have to defend or debate what we have resolve to ourselves.

Im in New Zealand, the legal drinking age to buy and consume alcohol is 18. Ricci does not have a license or a car so therefore she does not drive.
As to talking to her parents - they already know. Her dad drinks more than she does and her mums a druggy, so that doesn't particulary help the situation. And we mostly drink at her house as well WITH her dad.

You do have a problem. The problem really is she has had bad examples and is herself becoming an alcoholic. Unless and until she is ready to face the fact that she is an alcoholic there is not much you or anyone else can do about it.

This is truly a case of leading the horse to water but not being able to force it to drink. In that I mean you might convince her to go to an aa meeting. Though until she is ready to stop drinking and turn her life around a will not mean much to her.

For you I would check you area to see if there is a site called al ateen. This is a parallel organization for friends and families of addicted persons. Through this organization you will meet others dealing with the same problems you are. Through them you may learn new ways of how to help her.

Sorry I can't be of more help. This is a case of she has to want help before help can be given and accepted. Your a good friend for wanting to try and help her. Please don't give up on her.

I woke up at 2:30am throwing up and then two hours later i throw up again and i might do it again? what is wrong with my stomach?

Excess vomiting can be life threatening. We are not doctors so we cannot and will not make a diagnoses. There are any number of reasons for excessive vomiting starting with morning sickness for women and food poisoning for all.

Vomiting once or twice is probably not a big concern. Excess vomiting causes you to become dehydrated and that is a big concern and can be life threatening. If you find you are vomiting excessively then you need to get to a hospital Emergency Room or a walk-in clinic for treatment.

If you need to get to the hospital I suggest you call 911. As someone who has spent moist of his life in emergency services I will tell you that excessive vomiting is the type of emergency that 911 was designed to handle. In areas with Paramedic or IV tech ambulances re-hydration can be started pre-hospital, while transporting. This is important.

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