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my boyfriend beats me up
Hi I'm 22 and I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months at the begining he was soo nice to me,apart from that I was pregnant with another man baby but my recent boyfriend didn't mind!he told him mum that the baby I'm havin its his!after I gave birth I moved to his mothers house its a nightmare I hate this place so much!!she's so controling and wants to know evrything,and evrytime me and my boyfriend argue he uses the baby agains me and scares me that he will tell his mum its not his.he has he's own place and I go see him once in a while he became soo abusive he shouts at me over litle things and hits me las time he kicked me in my knee and I coudnt walk he have me black eye,and I got bruises all over my body!!I love him soo much but part off me wants to leave him and part of me doesn't!!he doesn't let me go and see my family,friends all I do is look after the baby and worse thing he takes almost all of my maternity money,he's verry abusive and controling,I want to get out this relationship but don't know how!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
First, you need to leave him.The baby is not his. You don't want your child growing up with a man like that. You need to leave and call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233). If you don't, you could be in danger.
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You may love your boyfriend but you cannot stay with him it is not safe for you or your child. We are all in one way or another products of our environment. His mother is controlling and he is controlling. Worse he is abusive. He has hit you that is not acceptable and that also makes him a criminal as assaulting anyone is a criminal offense.
You need to get away from him and his mother. If you have family you can go to then go to them. If not there are safe shelters you can go to immediately where you will receive shelter and help in finding a permanent place to stay.
You did not say where you are from, though if you are in any of the 50 states in the U.S. You can go to any Police Station or Fire Station and ask for assistance. These places are designated safe havens. for women and children.
There is also a well known organization that operates shelters for battered women called the house of Ruth. They also operate a 24/7 hotline, the number is:1-877-988-5559. They may not offer a shelter in your city though they will be able to offer you advice and assistance call them.
Staying in this relationship is not good for you or your child. You need to get to someplace safe where you can get the professional help to insure that the legal requirements for the baby by the father are met. This is one of the many things shelters such as the house of Ruth offer. They will also help you get protection orders to keep the boyfriend away from you and your child as well as filings of police reports for the assault.
Just so I know you are aware. The babies father regardless of whether he wishes to be in the babies life, is responsible for this child until it turns 18. That means child support as agreed upon between you or ordered by the court. Health insurance and a college fund are his minimum responsibilities to this child. All of this needs to be worked out and put on paper then awarded by the courts. This is the child's protection.
The short of it is you need to get out of where your living. Stop seeing the boyfriend as it is not safe. Get a legal order of protection from the boyfriend so you and the baby are protected. See a lawyer for the proper orders to make sure the babies biological father provides the support he is required to. Call the House of Ruth for advise and possible sheltering.
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I am so sorry you're going through this, but please do realize just how dangerous the situation you're in: he's abusive and has hit you several times, he isolated you from family and friends so that you'd have no where to run to, he keeps you with his not so nice mother while he has his own place and he takes you maternity money.... hello can't you see the obvious here? he's after your money. Even if he loved you at one time, it's gone what's left is the memory that haunts you. Most importantly, your child needs you! The way your boyfriend is acting it's heading to him being violent to the child too either intentionally or not. DO SOMETHING for you and your baby! Run for your life and his! Go wherever you're welcome and get yourself back on your feet! Create a little heaven for your precious family where this boyfriend does not exist!!
As dreamy it seems it's quiet possible! you can and will make it because you deserve like us all to be happy and being blessed with a child that loves you unconditionally is your biggest strength.
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You need to leave, for your sake and your child. Do you have any relatives you can stay with?
Here are a few things to keep in mind
1, Nobody owns you
2, YOU are the mother of your own child, not his mother. You make your own rules and do not ever allow someone to tell you how to raise your child.
When you leave you get a restraining order for you and your child. If he abuses you again you take photos and go to the police department. You are allowing yourself to be abuse and putting your child in a dangerous enviroment. You need to move out asap.
You need to think about the safety and what is best for you and the baby.
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