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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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So i like this guy lot. He's my classmate tho. He's also my seatmate. We've been classmates for about 3 months now, and i can say that we're very close friends now. I developed feelings for him but i think its not mutual because it seems that he's not interested on me. He's really sweet to everyone including to me. But i know he doesn't like me. Sometimes he's jerk but there's still a good side of him. I dont even know why i like him. I want to move on but its hard because i'll always see him everyday, he's my seatmate and also its hard to ignore him. What should i do? I just cant tell him i like him, its going to be awkward and probably make fun of me. So i just want to push this feelings away. Thank you :)
If you;re of dating age or the age to start seriously thinking about the future as far as what the ideal guy for you is going to be, then this situation of developing 'feelings' as you say, is not so far fetched.
This is the information gathering stage of your life as far as guys are concerned. You are observing closely the ones that look attractive to you. if you observe some 'attractive' behavior from him, it's easy for you to have your emotions take notice It's also a time when you begin to observe the opposite in a guy, like the bad behavior you refered to when saying he's sometimes a jerk. You will experience such feelings coming up with lots of guys before you ever find 'the one' and marry some day. While the feelings may seem to be those of deep interest or perhaps being in love, it is very unlikely to be able to fall in love, a real love that can last if it is only skin deep or surface level. there is more that you don't know about him than what you do know. Relationships like that don't last as there's no real substance to them, no best friend friendship with the guy, no desires, attraction or romance that last beyond the first couple weeks or months together, no real communication, not enough things in common.
this is a good time for you to begin creating your list of what you need and want in a guy.If a guy doesnt meet the 'Need's/Must haves' on your list, then it's a deal breaker as there is no reason to date let alone marry the guy. If you wont give up a dream of having children one day and the guy is totally against having children, that is a deal breaker, no matter how many other things are great about him. Why date and give your heart to someone and try to convince them on the one point to end up with him fed up with you pestering him to try for kids now, and he instead leaves you and divorces you over it. You have got to be on the same page on the important stuff.
The wants are things like a guy who likes to dance, or prefers wearing his hair long. Even if he doesnt fit either of those, its not a deal breaker, you can live without it and be happy but if there were several perfect candidates as far as meeting needs, then the one you'd go for would be the ones who also meet some of the wants/personal preferances.
In the process of deciding what to even begin to put on your list, it will form over the years by observing other couples and watching how the guy treats his lady, observing the available single guys and also by the experiences you have in dating. You will feel good feelings when observing or experiencing some wonderful behavior from a guy. That's what's most likely happening to you right now. So those feelings want you to take a closer look at him by getting to knowing him better through a close friendship and dating. If he isn't interested in you to begin with, thats the down side of meeting people and attraction, often its only one sided, and in that case, just enjoy the good feelings having him as a classmate but start looking seriously at other guys instead.
It is helpful to know when a guy is intereested, what signs are there, what does he say and do.
I don't care what age, the guys do the same thing. First, you catch them looking at you often, once they get braver, they will smile at you and say hello every time they happen to be close enough. Mind that they aren't smiling and greeting every other girl too, just you. A guy find reason to be near you such as coming to stand or sit near, the closer they stand means they are really interested...this would be about an arms length away, near enough to easily reach out and touch you. Our bodies have subconscious reactions that result in going through body language that sends an invisible message. If a guy you didn't like at all stepped up close, a foot away, you'd be taking a couple steps backwards to greaten the distance because its uncomfortable having him near. If it was a guy you were crushing on, you'd stay put and enjoy his close proximity to you and the wonderful excitement it created in you. Another sign that someone is interested in you, is their finding innocent ways to reach out and touch you, like a playful punch on the arm if you tease, moving a lock of your hair behind your ear, brushing a loose eyelash off your cheek, that sort of thing, and a person interested will be trying to engage you in conversation, complimenting you. If this behavior is done with everyone else too, then he's just a friendly person or a player with females depending on how seriously he goes after it. If you are the only one a particular guy pays this type of attention to, then he's interested in you and waiting for you to take notice and say something. Thats when you engage him in a long conversation and tell him you enjoy talking to him so much you'd like to do this more often and ask for his phone number and ask when his schedule is clear to meet somewhere for coffee or whatever. Since you didn't elaborate on the 'jerk' part, I can't help much there. But if its behavior you don't like, get good at spotting it real early in strangers as you're out in public observing couples. It will save you starting dating a guy with those 'jerk' traits and getting your hopes up before you see clearly that he is a jerk.
Good luck.
I asked a question similar to this looking for advice and I don't think I was clear about what was going on. My husband and I married in 2009. During that time he stole from my father from my son he did 2 years probation. He didn't work much while being together. He walked out July 2013. He took our shared car he ended up junking it. The day he left I had to work I walked my two kids to work with me because I did not have a baby sitter I ended up calling my family that lived 900 miles away finally telling them what happen the drive and came and got me and the kids and I moved away. The whole him walking away was due to the landlord say they didn't get a month ago rent and I asked him about it he said I was accusing him of not paying it and I worried because of him stealing before. He says he planned on taking a few days to cool off and come back but I was gone. In the past year he's dated I've dated we haven't talked much about us he mow travels remodeling building all over US. He calls every night talks for hours tells me how much he misses being a family willing to still take it slow. Start over like dating again earn my trust back etc I'm just not sure what to do. We have one child together
In reality, people do not change quickly or overnight just because they feel bad about a decision they made. If it was that easy to change ones personality or bad habits or character traits that easily, then all the people who smoke tho they know they really shouldn't, or get drunk and know they shouldn't and feel really bad about it, would be able to quit that bad habit over night just because they felt bad about it. But as you know from hearing from others, it's very hard to stop doing something like that, and it get more complicated when its not just habits but bad character traits cus it's the hidden stuff deep inside a person's subconscious, the stuff they experieced in life that influenced them psychologically this way, this is some of what spurs them to live a live that not only isn't productive or the best for them but hurts those around him/her.
the problem is greater than his maybe sincere promise to do better. He needs professional help. And even with it...it took take decades to get to the bottom of what causes him to be this way and teach him how to overcome that and become a better person. I left my ex, an abusive marriage. He was going to see a counselor as a way to get me to consider staying with him rather than leaving him and divorcing. I overheard from him when he didnt think I was hearing him, that he has nothing wrong with him, doesnt intend to apply himself with the counselor and only goes to see one as a way to keep me so I would think that everything is okay now. I asked the counselor privately how quickly I could count on husband really changing for the better. He told me some people change quickly because they want to, but thats the minority. the majority take a long time to change if they ever do at all. He asked if I felt there was any chance for my marriage to stay intact based with that revelation. Faced with having someone who is pretending or even meaning well but not changing possibly, and having another year of the same abusive behavior, It was hard but I thought I could somehow make it work but when I thought, how about 10 more years of the same old stuff, no change, 20, 30, til the day I die? And I knew I couldn't take that chance with not only my happiness but for the sake of my daughters who were old enough to leave home. If I stayed, I knew my health would grow worse, the stress of the treatment I got was already affecting me. A vision/dream I had came with a warning if I didnt leave, my health would get worse and I'd die in 4-5 years.
A person shouldn't give up on someone lightly but at the same time, the child needs to see what a real good male is like. If the child doesnt have that growing up cus his/her biological dad is incapable of being a good male role model (with or without treatment) then a girl grows up to pick a guy just like that for a husband and a son grows up to behave just like Dad, not that they are aware of it being a bad model and choosing it, its the only real model of an adult male that kids have close association with growing up and will think it is actually normal behavior.
I used to make excuses for my ex's behaviors during our marriage. Make sure you are not doing that in your mind. Make sure it is just the facts you are looking at.
Right now this man is traveling the U.S. in his job, has no roots, (place to settle down in) has no responsibility for caring for you and the child, so of course he can look like he's doing good, sticking with a job. Job probably pays for gas and travel expense, maybe even some compension to places to stay.With constant travel, he cannot sign a lease on an apt. so he also has no responsibility for monthly payment and keeping up his own place. Most likely he has the benefit of maid service for any of his extended stay motel places. Without the pressure of any kind of responsibility, it is easy for him to think he's really doing better. My kids say my ex is doing better but it happens to coincide with getting a nice job that isn't too stressful and so far seems to pay the bills. When money was tight and unexpected expenses came up, he just fell apart and could'nt handle the 'adult' responsibilitys. He'd have anger fits that things didn't go the way he thought they should and I had to make all the adult decisions and take care of things cus he didnt know how to be an adult and handle adult pressures.
Here's another way to look at him nightly begging to come back to you as a family. If he's on the road, how many nights is he really going to be home to 'be a family' anyways? Does dating and doing the dating process ever so slowly, help him grow up and became an adult? He thinks dating you will regain your trust? Do you? The only way to prove himself is by taking on responsibility again and doing it right this time because he has changed who he is at core. He can fake it, pretend, put up a false personality, act sweet and convince you to let down your guard. If he really is doing that, and he really thinks by you seeing him again that he has you fooled, the guard will eventually come down because it takes too much personal energy to keep a false persona going 24/7. Within a month or a couple months of seeing each other every day as one would in married life, the mask will eventually slip. Not making this up...this is a basic psychology fact of human behavior. If he doesn't have to spend time with you 24/7, do you believe you can get an accurate reading off of him of him having grown up and changed greatly, just from occasional dates? and the keeping in touch via phone and net from the cities he travels to? This is stuff you need to keep in mind. You may have reasons for wanting to give him another chance. But in a years time, especially with no responsibility other than showing up for work, and nothing else he is doing differently, I wouldn't believe it could be any better. What has changed for him, (other than missing you)??? picking up religion? Seeing counselors? reading self help books and sharing with excitement the stuff he's read and tried and is working on and having some success with? If he isn't doing anything to work on changing himself internally, there will be no change and there fore no need to date him to discover that for yourself....but thats' entirely your choice.
Hope this all gives you some food for thought.
recently i looked up Agnes Browne and the categories for it are comedy drama and romance and i also read that it was based on the novel the Mammy by Brendan o Carroll and i looked up Starting Over and it said comedy romance and it was also based on a novel so are they in the same category and i hope this one goes in Dragonflymagics advice column becuase i am not posting anymore question to Dangernerd .
Sorry Hon, I am not much of a movie buff. If the reason you ask for the comedy, drama, romance catagories for movies is because that is what you want to watch, the only part missing in the 2nd title you mentioned was the word "Drama". I have found that the people with the jobs of labeling movies as drama strictly or romance have different tastes than myself. What was listed as comedy, I didnt find funny at all, actually stupid. Or a serious drama in labeling, ending up a romantic comedy. Those are my favorite catagories too. One way I look for comedys is by looking for some of my favorite actors in comedy roles, they tend to get type cast. If you are also looking for books turned into movies, do searchs o for books of such and such author turned into movies. I did a search once for Nora Roberts books turned into movies. It's hard to know how many are out there and where to purchase them cus they aren't widely distributed but I found a few of them on You tube, the ones that people who purchaseed them decided to download.
The best way to find out if you like a movie, is actually the simpliest, just watch it. Hubby and I have slugged through a half hour of torture of a bad movie that sounded good, and decided to turn it off and watch something else. Just because one movie or one book turned to movie worked well, it doesnt guarantee the next book turned movie worked out just as well. You just have to take your chances, or not.
Hey!I am 22 years old! My situation is kinda tricky!
I have been talking to my best friend's good friend since 7 months! We both started talking as friends and a few days back, he hinted that he likes me and I like him too! He said this to my best friend and she reacted in a way that was totally weird! She said she would want us to date but she will maintain her distance from us! She said she lost two of her only friends! And she has been avoiding me since! I have always put my friend before him and told her that I will not date him unless she approves! She had issues previously as most of her friends have been interested in me and I never bothered! With ths guy is been different! He is confused and feels really bad! Am I a bad friend? I am letting go of my needs to make her Happy! Does this make me vulnerable and stupid? Is this a sign of weakness??: O please advice! Soon!: (
So none of these guys were people who met you first and became friends? And later befriended her?
Since I am an outsider, have no idea about both your looks and personalities as girls, I wonder why you are not initially attracting guys, and why she does but is not able to interest them in being more than friends.
Guys who understand that friendship is important to cultivate first and then go with the flow of attraction and start to date and become the romantic couple.
I am sure she has gotten tired of seeing this pattern repeat over and over. Wouldn't you if every guy who was intially interested in getting to know you, once they got to know both of you better, were no longer interested in pursueing you further, only showing interest beyond friendship in your girlfriend? The questions in your mind would be "Why is she stealing all my guy friends attention? What is she doing to get that? or "What's wrong with me, that they don't become interested in being a dating couple with me.
I am betting none of them have told her that they 'like' her beyond friendship level.
I am also betting that your friend is pretty good looking to the guys...cus guys will be attracted initially to a female whose looks are very desireable to them.
this is how relationships go. First there's attraction. The attraction gets you to hang out with someone as a friend for a bit to get to know them better to see if you'd want to date them. Do they have qualities that you like in personality, or not? Its at this stage that people should be deciding to stay and start dating if the person is attractive on the inside as well or break up if not.
She's probably feeling like the bait on the hook cast out there to lure the guys, and reel them in for you. It's not the guys fault or yours and there is no reason for you to feel guilty. Without meeting her, I am pretty sure there is something about her that doesn't hold a guys interest same as you can. Each of us have unique personalities that because of their uniqueness are not going to appeal to everyone, even you. Once a guy spends enough time with you, he will see things, not bad habits or such necessarily but things that show him you are very different than him and over time those differences could cause a break up. So he may enjoy your friend better.
I am thinking it may be that you are more bubbly, lively, talkative, outgoing and she may not be. Otherwise, why would every guy who whose initially attracted to her, discover they don't like her, but like you instead? I can understand one or two, even 3, but all? There is something about her, once they get past whatever attracted them to her to begin with, her looks, her smile . .. and they find they don't have any interest in dating her which likely is the goal here. She isn't attracted guys who are currently dating another girl, as her new friends, right? Not a single taken guy?
The sticky part is how does she discover that there is something about her the eventually makes the guys lose interest.
If you weren't always hanging with her and these guys, would they still eventually lose interest in her without you there to distract them? Probably not as fast, but eventually they will lose their interest. Can you see all these guys there as friends when their real goal isn't just to make a lot of long going friendships with a bunch of girls, and never date? They want to find one girl to date. Once they find their goal, a girl to date, the girls they were friends with are not going to get much attention, their interest in the "friend girls" drops because they got what they wanted. Well, at least this is one possibility I am imagining. It sure would explain why she feels she is losing you and Him! How many of those guys who were her friends continued to hang around her once they met you and you turned them away as dating partners? There was no reason for them to hang around any longer unless they truly liked her as a friend for who she was inside and had no attraction to her looks. A guy who has the sexual attraction to a female as a friend, will become friends and hope that one day she will fall for him that way too. As soon as he knows that she is not attracted to him the same way, it's painful to stay as friends with someone who doesn't return your love. And the guys leave. Can't blame em, the guys are going about it the right way, working the friendship end of it first and trying to get to know the girl and see if feelings develop between them. Apparently feelings were not developing between any of them.
At your age range, guys that age are going to look first and look more closely at that which catches their attention. If she is shy, quiet, doesnt talk much, has anxietys with guys, etc... it all comes out eventually and a guy is turned off by that. What does attract is a female who is confident, knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it....or at least, she is willing to converse with him.
The only thing that would make you a bad friend is if she truly won a boyfriend on her own and you made it your job to steal him away from her just for fun, for spite, cus you didn't want her busy with a guy having no time for you or whatever reason. tHAT would be a bad friend. You are not that.
Your mistake is deciding to set aside your happiness with him because you put other people before him. Every guy you date could end up your potential husband one day. One does not put other peoples happiness before your husbands. No he's not a husband but that is a lesson for you to learn. You have given her some vows that you will now need to break break it was a bad idea to vow to another person to not date him without their approval. Either that, or you stop seeing him ever again.
But if it's her approval you are waiting for, you're not likely to ever get it for any guy you meet, as long as she is still single, not dating. Once she has a guy, she wouldn't care less if you found a guy. Its the syndrome of being left behind, last girl to get a guy thing. It's possibly that she doesnt really care as you may think she does as a friend. "She said she wants you to date. Those words are said because those words she assumes are expected to be said be one's girlfriend. But her maintaining distance, is plain old, having a fit because once again she doesn't have a guy. Do you know if she even wants a boyfriend? or is she happy with just friends?
Truly finding a non romantic relationship with a guy and becoming best friends with him is pretty rare but it is very possible. I highly doubt all these guys initially wanted to become her best friend. You can't make her learn the dating do's and don't of how to attract a guy. To make her look at what she does or doesnt do to catch a guys interest and keep it. If a guy was truly meant for her, no matter what, then no other girlj could sway his attention away from her, he'd have eye's only for her and wanting to be at her side as often as possible. So either she hasn't met such a guy yet, or has feelings for some of these guys but too afraid to share it with them so they assume she doesnt like them that way. Or she only wants them as a friend. You said she stated you both are her only two friends? She may have a hard time making friends and it could be true she doesnt have any close friends but making the statements she has sounds like someone throwing a fit, jealous, and probably selfishness in there too. If the tables were turned, would she truly be thinking of getting your approval on a guy she wants to date?
One way for her to learn if it is her that is the problem in finding and keeping friends, let alone landing a boyfriend, is for you to date this guy.
If you are taken, and always seen with a guy, there is no reason for any male friends of hers to come after you. this gives her to opportunity to spend enough time with her guys to catch their interest at a deeper level.
You can try this logic on her. Tell her you miss her and that you and boyfriend would like to see her sometimes. You both need to cultivate time tho on your own getting to know each other better. If she decides to not see you at all... thats not all bad, she will attract guys as she always has and discover that none of them hang around for long or they like her more than she likes them or vice versa. And it has nothing to do with you if you're not there. Its something she needs to learn and probably can't do with you around. If you met a really great guy, don't throw him away for misguided virtues as far as the girlfriend goes.
My question is that is being quite a form of rude ignorance. This cousin of mine have been nothing but silent ever since we moved in together. She rarely expresses her opinion and completely ignores my existence. We have been staying together for more than 1year but we speak on formal terms. Do you think she just dislikes me or is it really embedded in her behaviour? I don't expect her to become instantly talkative but wish to see her atleast put some effort in talking to me. What should I do to not get affected by this?
the question in my mind is "How well did you know this cousin before moving in together? Was her behavior towards you different before living together?
It could be that the little she saw you before wasn't enough time to reveal to her that you just aren't the type of person she enjoys hanging around with.
Who knows, she may have regrets for becoming roomies but Since you are a cousin, she may feel awkward saying anything about how she feels.
If the two of you decided to share a place just to get out from living with parents and being on your own, was the decision to room together because there was no one else for either of you? Or did the two of you figure that being room mates with a cousin was better than with a non relative?
If it's been this way for a year, it's not likely to change. So either live with it the way it is, or if it bothers you too much, engage her in conversation and ask if she's happy having you for a room mate cus if she's not, you'd like to know. Dont take it personally if she's not happy.
This is just two personalitys not being a good match for living together, being that close. Its the same problem people find when dating...
moving in with a boyfriend, you both get to see more of each other and thats when you discover that you don't want to be with that guy anymore, he's just not right for you. But both of you will be just right for someone else, for friends, for roomies and when the time comes for a future boyfriend.
My ex and I dated for a year we later broke up in a very weird way and there wasn't much closure. I got over it and dated others. Long story short I get a texted a year and some months later asking me how I have been and if there was anything new going on in my life. We texted on and off for a bit and I agreed to see him, we both ended up cancelling but he texted me again later to hang out and I was busy at work. He told me to text him whenever I was free and that we would hang out and catch up. I texted him back to say that I forget and to text me next time. It's been a month and no text? I am not interested in a romantic relationship anymore but this behavior confuses me?
It is your imagination that is making more of this than there is. This is someone from your past, who for what ever reason felt you are not the best partner for him but still cared about you as a person, just not romantically as boyfriend/girlfriend anymore. As a person who cares enough about you to know how you are doing since you moved on, he contacted you to meet to catch up. When it didn't work out, he tried contacting you again just to make sure you didn't think he had 2nd thoughts about keeping in touch as 'just friends'. Obviously, both your schedules are too busy and/or you both are too distracted. I wouldn't make anything of it. You don't have to carry through and chase after him by phone or on line to get together. It was just a nice thought or gesture. If it doesnt happen, at least you know his heart was in the right place. Forget about the missing meet up. If he still wants to meet sometime later and has time, he will contact you.
Last week to work I wore a shirt with a native chief on it and my friend got pissed off saying it's cultural appropriation. My reply was that I am part native, a whole side of my family is native, I happen to be a 1/4 with a status card. I also have many handmade native ceramic pieces around my house. Now my question is, is this considered to be cultural appropriation? I'm part native, I didn't wear a headdress or a symbol/clothing item that you have to earn, I just loved the shirt and love my native side.
Had to look up the term 'cultural appropriation' as I hadn't heard it before. I know many people including myself love many aspects of Native American culture, and never heard anyone accuse us of doing something negative. Since you are Native yourself, then you can not be a non native appropriating something of that culture as the rest of us. Your friend either had no idea you have Native blood or doesn't know what the term means. I looked it up on Wiki so here's the link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_appropriation
As far as I am concerned, people have been adopting customs and lifestyles, and food recipes and things of other cultures for as long as there has been history. One should feel pride and happiness that others find something of value in their culture.
It's quite another thing if lets say someone who is born caucasion is trying to pass off that they have Native blood for the purpose of financial gain. It would be false advertising, such as telling people you come from a long line of tribal medicine women just to sell your natural health wares in a business using Native American themed advertising, claiming to be so.
What you choose to wear and makes you happy is okay as long as it is within the boundaries of whatever dress codes there are at school, at ones job, or if visiting lets say a religion place of your friend, not dressing in any way that would cause them embarassment, sticking to the cultural norms for that group out of respect to those people, not because you believe that way.
Have a good talk with your friend. Find out what she was thinking when she said that, and clear the air, telling her why you are not doing anything wrong.
In the future, when someone says something, and in your mind you have questions, wondering what they meant by what they said, or it sounded negative....ask!!! Too many teens write in asking us to answer questions about what somebody else they know meant. the only way to know is to ask questions. Good Luck!
I am on birth control and have been for a while now, My fiancé and I want to see what it feels like for him cum inside of me but I don't think we are quite settled enough to have a baby yet (although we want one in the future) If I let him evacuate inside of me and take the morning after pill what are the chances of me getting pregnant?
Hon, you would be overloading your body's system with extra hormones of the type you're already on with the pill.
Please read this link about Plan B (the Morning after pill) that is a back up plan if the female is not on any birth control like the pill or shot or such and has unprotected sex or a condom breaks.
http://www.rxlist.com/plan-b-drug.htm
Please talk to your doctor before doing anything like this as you could make yourself very ill and mess up your body. While no birth control is 100% able to prevent pregnancy, the chances of becoming pregnant on the pill if he cums in you are very little. After your doctor too about how often a pill fails if taken regularly. The only problem you could have is if you are not taking your pill daily and at the same time. Set the alarm on your cell to remind you each day if thats a problem. When on the pill, if should be safe to have sex with your husband. You could try Planned Parenthood in your area and ask them to explain and teach you about how birth control works and under what circumstance a female can and cannot become pregnant. They may have more time than your doctors office to explain in detail. Please don't take extra prescriptions until you have gathered enough info to know its not good for you.
So the other day I moved back in with flatmates while I'm at Uni-into a house.
There are 3 boys and 4 girls (including me-girl).
So the other three girls are really cliquey and I'm feeling very left out. For a start contact over the holidays wasn't much with them-because I'm always too busy to keep up with conversations on messenger.
But they're all turning 21 and I'm the young side of 19. So now for one of their 21sts they've planned to take her to see a musical-I'm not involved...
I am trying to be in the kitchen/lounge all the time but I still feel left out. What can I do to improve this?
I didn't think that people who rented a house together had to become close friends. Friendly as far as moving together in the shared housing, but becoming friends, no. If these girls were all close long time friends of yours and have changed, thats another story. If thats the case, you must realize, you cannot make them change.
A person becomes a friend with someone because they have personalities and other things in common. If you are friendly and smile and compliment them and invite them to accompany you to somewhere you want to go, and they don't respond, at least know you've given it your best.
If it's new friends you're looking for, I suggest you start looking elsewhere on campus, not among roommates. If you are too busy to get on line with them, you're probably too busy for cultivating other new friends. Look at your schedule closely and see if some time can be carved out just for that purpose, of making new friends and spending time with them.
We don't live in a house, we live in an apartment. We aren't like totally poor or anything, but we're not rich either. My parents have good paying jobs I guess, but there's so many bills they have to pay. Possibly over a thousand dollars a month or something for different things. I'm not of age to work yet and I have bad anxiety, so I'm unable to work. I just don't know what to do. I can't get things I'd love to have because of money issues. I hate it. I'm not an ungrateful brat, we just don't have much money and I don't know what to do...
In todays world, you are actually far better off than others. Lots of homes have two parents workings and still barely able to make it. They have enough to pay all bills but nothing left to set aside for emergency like a car repair, and something as important as dad needing to purchase a toilet repair kits for the broken parts inside the tank means they don't have enough now to pay cable, well, everyone goes through that. Unless you're born into a family who are millionaires, what you have for a living situation is what the greatest majority have. The only other possibility is being homeless, living our of your car or in doorways, carton boxes.No meals, no warm place when it's cold or raining, no place to lay down and sleep, no place to take showers, using bathrooms at gas station or fast food restaurants. Collecting change from passerbys to get together a whole dollar to by something off the dollar menu at a fast food place to eat your only meal in the last 2 days, having to wear dirty clothes cus of no way to wash them etc... Spend a little time hanging out with the homeless and you will feel you live like a queen compared to them. It's all perspective. And compared to some poorer countries, you aren't living in a hut with dirt floor, having to bed for money or as a child forced to work to bring in income just to have food. Water has to be collected and dragged back to your hut daily, washing clothes in a river, going potty somewhere outside not to mention no such thing as toilet paper. If you want a little of your own money to get things you'd like sometimes, well I was 15 when i started babysitting for neighbors and advertising to get more customers. My parents both worked and sometimes they saved up for a rare vacation but it was harder if they had to get anything i wanted. I saved my money well, mind you i got 75cents an hour and later a dollar. For years, I bought my own clothes, jewelery, makeup, going to movies, bought my own bike and when the parents couldn't afford to upgrade my 9 yrs younger sisters bike from the old banana seat type to 10 speed so she could keep up with us when we all bike rode, I bought her a bike. My parents even came to me to get a loan every once in a while to help them pay something and paid me back.
Think of something you like doing, or don't mind doing, that you could get paid for doing for a neighbor. It may not be big money and things are more expensive today. But you will learn valuable things when its your hard earned money doing the buying. Want your own computer or a new one? You will research at many stores, write down the brands, the prices and decide by what you see at a store that you like first...then going on line to seek out the best prices there and then save up for it. That means you;ll need patience, you'll need to save up for quite some time, no instant purchase the moment you begin to desire something. We are tight on money and just bought two new computers,on line at 200. each and these are Windows 7. Real nice. We buy foods at discount stores, dollar stores and Walmart and are able to feed ourselves for cheap. Going to movies? Nope...the cost to get in not worth it. We wait until it's available on line, purchase DVD for cheap at Walmart, Pawn shops have DVD's for cheap and check out some from the Library. No TV. Just watch em on the lap tops. And we are happy with that. hope this gives you some ideas and some encouragement.
hi,
so my high school friends and i have been friends for a while now, but theres this girl in our group of friends that always tends to start drama. this girl that usually starts drama is one of my good friends, and we were pretty close for a time,but then as graduation started coming closer my group of friends and i started to distance from her because we felt that things were always one sided, she was always with her boyfriend and we felt that she didn't want to be friends with us anymore. After graduation , we pretty much cut ties from her during the summer. But one day during the summer, we went to the mall, and we saw her and her boyfriend there and it was kind of awkward, cause she saw us, and in a way i guess she felt betrayed. We exchanged small talk and that was it. Then yesterday night, the group and i went out for sushi and went to my friends house later to watch a movie. We were all talking about her and how it was so weird that she doesn't seem to care about us anymore. and we all decided that i should text her and see if she answers. She didn't answer until the next day, but when she did answer i asked her if she was mad at me. and she said that she was and that she shouldn't have deserved this. She told me to try and be in her shoes, and how would i have felt if i saw her hanging out with the group of friends at the mall, but no one invited me. And i apologized to her and said that i wouldn't have felt too great if that happened to me too. While i was texting to drama girl, i texted one of my friend Sarah the conversation, and she told me that i should just tell her that being friends needs to be two sided, but in this case we felt that it was being one sided and we didn't know she wanted to be friends anymore cause she never kept contact, and that if she wanted to hang out she should've texted us. And i told her that. And then she started telling me her side of the story and said how she always felt Sarah stole our close friendship from us because she felt jealous and then as soon as we stopped being close me and Sarah started to be close, how no one really hung out with her at grad, and how she's felt Sarah is always hyporcritical, how she feels like I'm always following orders and wishes from them, instead of being friends with her. and how when she wasn't invited to the one of the girls birthday party and she had to find out from others. And i guess instead of defending my friends, i just said that i am sorry if you felt hurt, and that i miss us being friends,and that if you still want to be friends with the others then you should address them, if it is your choice and i don't want to be caught in between.i still want to be friends with you all, and if that means that we have to have our friendship separate then I'm fine with that. and so she agreed. and now we're good now.
And so i told my friend Sarah that her and i are good now, and that i told drama girl that if she wants to be friends with the rest, then she should address them cause i don't want to be caught in between. But she didn't she didn't answer, but i know she read it. and so i texted her again , and she was like"chill I'm busy right now"
i felt like it was a slap in the face.
I don't know, like in this friendship, I'm always the one to hear both negative sides of the story, one from the group, and then one from the drama friend. I always feel that I'm stuck in between.And while i understand both parties, i really don't want to get involved. and i just want to be friends with all of them.
I feel like I've offended Sarah now... and i'm afraid that i'm gonna lose the group because of it. I'm starting to question if i did the right thing , to just forgive and forget drama girl, and be friends with all of them .....
is this even worth it, cause honestly i feel like i'm in elementary picking sides.
If drama was what made all of the people reject and no longer associate with her, then why go seeking after it by texting her. I am thinking that perhaps that is something your soul has to learn by going through the experience of being with a drama person. I can't say what it is.
Another thing, for anything having to do with talking to someone, use actual phoning and chat instead of text. Text should be used only when you don't require an immediate answer, such as a non emergency. Its good to use when a person is at work and you dont know when their free time is to call, breaks, lunch. And you're asking them is they want to drive straight after work to meet you somewhere...an answer that is okay to get a couple hours later.
It's okay to forgive people. But when a person who is not good for you, detrimental to you in some way, it's best to not begin reassociating with them after forgiveness. Here's a clearer example.
Lets say you had a boyfriend who physically beat you. Thats obviously wrong. He doesnt care. You can't tell him you are forgiving him, but you can in your heart forgive him. But now that you've forgiven him, does it make any sense to get back to gether with him so he can continue to beat up on you? Only you can know if this drama girl, robs you of your peace, sets your nerves on edge, treats you poorly etc... If there is no great reason for becoming friends with her, then don't let a misplaced guilt put you back with her.
If your group is asking you to pick her or only them to spend time with, that is unreasonable. If they are asking that you not invite drama girl to any event where you are hanging out with them, that is fine. They may have decided it is healthier for them to not be friends with her anymore. If you want to have separate times you spend with just the group or just drama girl, thats fine. If the friends aren't okay with it, they are a bit immature about it. You may end up walking away from drama girl and the group and searching out more mature friends. It's all up to you.
1. I have a problem with trying to find the perfect guy and every time I find a guy, I seem to find a terrible thing about him and then I don't want him anymore. Does anyone have any advice on just letting the perfect guy come to me and just stop trying?
2. How can I feel better about myself?
3. I'm really slow at school. Like I can't answer questions out loud. Like I can't seem to think of them. How can I get better with this?
4. And how can I get the motivation to earn my drivers license, to do chores, to find a job, just to be a better person?
You might get better response if you split up your questions. It's a lot to answer all in one shot and much can get lost in her. I will give some short responses for each but if you want more detail on each, write separate advice requests.
1. how the get the perfect guy the first time? If someone had that magic trick, they'd be a multi billionaire by now. We change alot from our teens to our 20's at which age, lots of people marry. So the issues you have with a guy now which are due to immaturity and lack of experience in dating and relationships are not going to be the issues later. Best thing is to go through each relationship looking for what you like in the guys character and also the negative things. Learn what the warning signs or clues are for that. As you get better at spotting the character traits you don't like, you won't even have to go as far as dating the guy to find it, you'll see it as you observe him on the school grounds.
2. How to feel better about yourself? First, don't compare yourself to others in looks or talents or whatever. God made each of us uniquely and different. We actually make ourselves feel bad by having thoughts ourselves that we don't match up or are not good enough or we listen to someone elses comment or opinion and choose to believe the negative thing they say about us. There is only power in their words to depress you if you choose to believe there may be any truth to what they say. There is no such thing as all teenagers on the planet having matured enough so their words were always the truth, had good ideas, were intelligent and thoughtful, kind and supportive.
3. Slow? Not sure what is meant, like your brain takes a long time to wake up? If so, do you eat breakfast? Are you dabbling with energy drinks? The exclusive Montessori school my 2nd husband put his daughter in had parents sign a contract that kids would not sugar. Sugar has adverse affects on kids learning abilities, one of which is hyperactive, can't concentrate. Lots of kids labeled ADHD wouldn't need meds and get great grades with ease if they had a sugarless diet.
4. Driver license. Are the parents urging you to do so? If not, and you don't want to do it yet, there;s no need to hurry. All my girls waiting until turning 20 or so. Insurance is also cheaper by then because you're an adult and more mature.
If you are afraid of the written or driving test and that is what holds you back, practice more on both until you feel confident. It's okay if you fail the tests. Some people have to take them many times to finally pass. My oldest daughter took her driving test 3 or 4 times before she passed. If the reason you fail a test is you get too nervous or scared and that overrides what you do know so you mess up, then wait til you'r older, let 6 months go by, maybe a year and then try.
If there are chores that are your responsility whether you get paid for them or not, look at it this way, if your parents can Rely on you, it's done Efficiently, Quickly, with good Attitude, etc... those are things an employer looks for too in hiring someone. Start with the small stuff now like chores at home. If there's an elderly neighbor who could use a little help with something, volunteer to do some special tasks for them. When applying for a first job, of course you won't have previous work experience but character references go a long way to speaking highly of you as a good prospect for the position. If friends and neighbors (adults) have something good to say about you that will help alot in landing a job.
Good luck.
Okay so I feel myself a lesbian because I like the girl in school....I think it's okay to like her but then I feel weird and not normal when I getting to like her.I REALLY WANT TO STOP!!! I DONT WANT TO HAVE A BAD FUTURE....Thank You
There can be two different kinds of attachment, one where a person has an emotional connection to a person and has an emotional need they seek to get fulfilled by or are getting fulfilled by that person.
Then there is a sexual connection. A person is sexually attracted to someone, has real desire to please the other sexually and to be pleased by the person.
Often a people is lucky to find both in one person.
Having an emotional connection to a same sex person doesn't necessarily make you lesbian. Many women find that they are heterosexual when it comes to sex but have emotional needs better filled by females. I found some of the women who called themselves bi sexual to actually be more of the ones needing just the emotional relationship with another female. Women have been getting their emotional needs met from other females for eons, I did growing up. And I had girlfriends I felt a deep love for like a sister or parent. But that deep love had no sexual wants or desires attached to it. Perhaps this is your situation?
If you discover you do have sexual desires for her, thats okay. If you are young, you are still growing and changing. though many are sure of their sexual orientation from a young age, there will be those who are still trying to discover where they fit. What makes it hard for some to accept is the bias of churches and society. It is becoming more acceptable every day to have an alternative sexual orientation from what society has considered the norm. Your future won't be bad unless you have family who are short sighted and would harass you about it. If so, don't tell them.
Good luck dear.
Ok so this is the backstory. I broke up with my ex about four months ago we dated for seven years. I am over him ive developed a serious relationship with a guy ive known for seven or eight years. he lives in DE i live in IL right now. I do hair for a living and while i make great money its not enough to pay for rent and everything else. I am in a situation where i have to find a new place to live in a couple months. Ive got nothing holding me back and i want to move out there not just for him but for me. Ive always been the type that has done what my family has pushed me to do not necessarily what i wanted to do. Ive told my family and they all just look at me like im strange or something i told them its not just for him but for me to get a fresh start how do i handle all this not even sure what my question is i guess just perspective?
So you've known the ex and new guy for about 7 years, from age 13 on, the teen years.
I have found much written that points at a person not really defining who they are until 28, 29 30. Before that, we are all still changing and growing.
The years you've known either of the guys was during some of person's beginning of growth and changes. The new guy, I don't know how well you can say you know him unless he was a best friend and hung out with you lots while you dated the other. the serious relationship is long distance? And whens the last time you got a chance to spend any significant amount of time getting to know who he is as a person today? I am sure you feel comfortable with him because you have known about him and known him at least casually, as a fellow student. But when it comes to a relationship, especially becoming room mates, you need to realize that lots of the important stuff you need to know ahead of time to know if this is the best choice, just isn't going to be available to you. There is so much about yourself that he doesnt know about yet and vice versa, so that living together is going to bring these things to the surface. Hopefully its all nice and good stuff. But generally, from all I have heard from, too many start living together and discover some things they can't and won't tolerate. But they remain cus they feel stuck having to stay for what ever reasons...one being financial reasons such as yours. Keep that in mind when you consider him for a room mate. Have a back up plan ready in case the roommate thing and the relationship turn out to be bad news. If you don't have a friend or two for emergency sake in DE you could go to, then its risky.
I am cautious because after marrying at 20, to a guy everyone thought was great, I discovered he had mental illness and was verbally abusive...not for the 1st 6 mos and after it started. I learned the hard way. Then after a divorce I began dating. Now wiser, I ended up on dates for the 3rd time around with some guys I thought were genuinely great guys but it took til then for them to finally show their true self, who they are at core. And it was not something I was willing to put up with. The key is that I was able to recognize the bad traits and broke up before getting my heart involved. I eventually found my 2nd husband, a prince of a man. I understand you wanting to do something new, and thats fine. Just make sure it's possible for you to have family to fall back on and travel back to in IL if all goes south. Dont stay for an abusive or kinda bad relationship, willing to settle for less just to have a room mate. If you dont want to or cant go back to family or they wont help, then at least, advertise for a room mate at some local colleges and find one that you can get along with and move out with that person if your sweetheart ends up not being so sweet.
In October 2012, my church had an AWESOME revival that changed my life. It lasted from Sunday morning to Wednesday night for about two or three hours a service and I STILL couldn't get enough of hearing the guest pastor.
He was the greatest pastor I've ever heard and in many of his services, he talked about how he was a cancer survivor. I heard today on the news that he is dealing with cancer again. He lives about an hour away from me and is pretty popular where he lives
The news story was about how a local football team was honoring him by putting his initials on their football helmets for the next game.
My question is should I send this guy a card or a gift or something to let him know that I'm thinking about him? He'd have no idea who I was because we never personally met, but he'd know my church. Would that be too weird, or do you think he'd appreciate that?
That sounds wonderful dear. Just make sure you say something to him also in the card about the impression he made and the change that brought to your life when he was a guest speaker, Oct 2012 at 'such and such' church and sign your name. The card will probably mean more than a gift to him. But there's no reason you cant send flowers or perhaps a small book of inspirational quotes or scriptures for those going through hard times.
Blessings!
i like a guy for awhile, one year, how can i make him give his attention to me when he sees me?
It's called free will for a reason. There is no magic way to Make a person do your will so to speak, to do what you want.
If you want to catch his attention, just be yourself, don't pretend to be someone or something else, and start conversation with him.
You didn't say how you know him, through school, work, is he part of a group of friends you hang out with and he's someone buddy but you're never talked? How much opportunity has he had to see you and be around you? What signs if any are there that he might like you? Do you catch him looking your way often, does he smile every time he sees you or says HI often. There's other body language to look for that will confirm a current interest that you may just not be aware of yet. Check out this link for other body language.
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/relationship-advice/read_romantic_body_language.shtml
What is most attractive to generally most guys, is a female with self confidence, who knows what she is looking for and not afraid to ask for it. This means you need to have a clue what you are looking for in a guy beyond skin deep good looks.
The reason to talk to a guy and find out if he's single and has at least a surface level attraction is so that you can begin hanging out together and learning more about each other. In the learning a person may fall in love or find enough things they dont like and wont tolerate and back away and break up. tHATS all part of the process. But it starts with the woman being bold enough to approach him and start conversation. He will either pay attention to you or not depending on if he's attracted to you or not. You can't influence his response, but you can get a response, positive or negative. If no interest, stop dwelling on him and start looking for the next guy.
Also, he recommended I take a prescription toothpaste with 5x the normal amount of fluoride, to brush 2 times daily with it, AND not to rinse my mouth after using it. I feel it sounds pretty dodgy, because I've been googling about fluoride lately, and it says it's bad for humans to consume it in large amounts. I mean, I generally brush once a day, and floss once a week, which I can improve, but I don't feel I want to do so with so much fluoride, when there are side-effects. But when I asked my dentist about the potential side effects, he just brushed them off like they were nothing, and thought the fluoride-free toothpastes at Whole Foods were ineffective in preventing cavities. I feel queasy about it. I mean, It's a great dental office, and it was my first time trying it out, but yeah.. Am I right for being cautious about this? I don't want to be taken advantage of.
I will say that flouridated toothpaste and water may not show disastrous results on teeth. But there are studies I have seen that show that it is slow acting and any bad results will come only after years of use. The affects flouride has have been reported to be affects on the brain, ability to be as intelligent as one was meant to be. Fluoridation has been reported to have an effect of dummbing down the mind. But there are other things in our world that add to it. If one can believe the reports.
Both sides will twist reports to reflect their ideas or beliefs in the most positive light. So with that going on, how can you know who to trust.
In case's like this, I go with my gut feeling. If something doesnt feel right to you, don't do it.
I also pray and ask God in lots of cases like this for direction. You are going to get both extremes on here.
If you are into natural health to begin with, then try this magazine on line and do searches for topics you are interested in.
http://www.naturalnews.com/033652_alternative_news_headlines.html
My 2nd husband says he has always just brushed with toothbrush and water and occasional use of baking soda for the scrubbing action. He has no cavities. His parents and grandparents did it the same way..no toothpaste. No cavities for his family either. Since meeting him, I switched to using baking soda. I can't eliminate everything that might have bad effects over time but it's my Life, we're gambling with. I only get this one body...so just to be one the safe side, I prefer to make my choices based on what I feel comfortable with. Anything that has too much debate on it on both sides....I figure there's a reason for it, or the opposition would'nt be saying anything.
Today, it is more important to take a full interest in your health and not just assume that because a professional insists that this is okay and the only right way is what they were taught.
Once upon a time, schools taught that the world was flat. Is it? As society learns and grows and figures out more things due to advances in science, we drop the things we used to say is good and change our views. Once upon a time, it wasn't known that alcohol or cigarette smoking can affect the developing fetus. Now we know better. There are many people who trusted their doctor and the pharmaceuticals and took a certain medication or procedure that now is found to have ruined their health with bad side effects and groups of them are represented by lawyers, you've seen the ads on TV, to try to seek recompense. But a little money gained from sueing isn't getting ones health back. I still feel in the end, it's best to stay on the safe side.
Flouridated water is why my husband started traveling to a local city natural well that bubbles up from the ground. The city put in two pipes to bring it up, its always running and they check it regularly to make sure it is safe. No chorine in it, no fluoride and it tastes delicious. some people travel miles to come get a car load to last them weeks for their drinking water.
Start checking around Whole foods and find other people into natural health and ask around if there's such a natural spring in your county. People travel 3 counties at least from those I've talked to. Natural springs are few and far between. Glad to see that you are thinking for yourself and not blindly accepting what everyone else tells you. Man thinks he is so intelligent and knows better than anyone. But I know God knows better. If God brings information to you about anything that you eat, drink, allow to contact your skin, or breathe in, and how it will affect you, then pay attention. You can in the end only make your best decision based on what you feel and from researching the pro's and cons for yourself. that is my best advice. Cus you're just gonna get confused reading about widely differing opinions on here.
I'm a 14 year old girl and I have the WORST self esteem and social anxiety so when I think that someone likes me I always tell myself that I'm just being shallow amc that I'm overreacting, so I'll tell you why I think he likes me and you tell me if you think so too, thanks in advance!
He's always trying making me laugh and I do the same to him, (I hope that he's not like that to all girls.....), today after History he waited for me to get all of my stuff so we could walk together (Maybe he was just being friendly?), and he laughs when my jokes aren't very funny (just being polite?). My main concern is that even if he likes me he won't ask me out because he's a very, very skinny runner and I'm chubby. Do you think that he likes me?
Yes, i believe he likes you. Mind that he doesnt know you well at all yet beyond surface level attraction, but thats where it starts with attraction to someone. So I'd rather say he is attracted to you and you to him. After you become friends and begin hanging out together and start dating, then you will get to know him much better, to be able to decide if you are still interested in him based on who he is inside, his characteristics, and what you have in common.
The typical ways people show interest is body language by smiling, laughing, finding excuses to be near the person they are interested in and when sitting or standing, leaning toward the person when talking to them, and we also tend to subconsciously copy the others body motions, its called mirroring. For instance, if he crossed his legs while sitting, soon after you do the same without really being aware of it. Watch to see if he duplicates your moves, such as tucking back hair, and he responds by scratching his head, a close mirror, of hand going to hair.
Lets look at your excuses for him. He waited for you after class just because he is friendly? Then ask yourself why he is directing his friendliness at you instead of any other students. A person can have a friendly personality and be a people person but they won't have enough time in their day to spend time one on one with everyone. How many kids in class? 28 or so? That would mean if he is generally friendly towards all people and it means nothing when he singles you out once... then he'd have to wait to catch each class member after History to walk to gether with them. Kinda extreme, huh? Unrealistic. What makes more sense is that he is genuinely interested in you. Males do not go after girls or pay any special extra attention like he's doing if they dont find the girls looks and personality attractive. Some guys dont go for the media's representation of what beauty is and realize that females come in all shapes and sizes and looks. Some guys have a preferance for petite, some for short, some for tall and some for chubby and some have no preferance at all. Young boys usually don't know what they want or are attracted to, or just following what media portrays.
Its a sure bet if he is coming after you, seeking you out to walk with and laugh with, that he has no problem at all with your looks. I have seem many couples who looked odd but worked out, this as adults. One where the lady was tall 5'10 and husband short 5'3. Another where he was a tall skinny bean pole and she was overweight. when two people get along as best friends and the attraction and romance is there, all that matters is that both are happy with each other, it doesn't matter what other people think or say.
Do you know the difference between a real laugh and a fake laugh. Try laughing in your room, about nothing, forcing it. Does it sound like a real laugh? A person's whole body gets into a laugh, and their eyes do too. A genuine laugh can't be faked just to be polite. I would guess you have the same sense of humor. And you probably will have the same ease in conversation, never being awkward, the words always flowing.
Do you spend time seeking out other girls and boys to hang near them even if you're not interested in them, just to be polite? And do you force a fake laugh just to be nice?
Probably not. He's interested. At your age, this is a good time to cultivate a friendship. Easy to do, just tell him you enjoy him at school and want to spend more time with him. Would he like to come hang out at your house (with parents home and their knowledge that you have a male friend from school you want to invite over) also trade numbers and keep in touch that way too. But on cell, texting or on screen is one dimensional. You will lack hearing his laugh for example and LOL on screen is just not the same as hearing his chuckles in person. Hope all goes well for you. Good luck!
What are some good general information for application
general information about what, general information on life in general? on school and studying techniques, on does and don'ts of dating? on learning how to cook?
For example, there can be general helpful hints to use in cooking that will apply to lots of recipes. Specific info comes when going in detail over one type of food recipe.
Let us know what you are looking for, and maybe we can help.
My friend is gorgeous, she looks just like Kate Winslet when she was young. But you'd never know it from her facebook photos and selfies! From just about every angle, her face appears doughy and gross with flat hair. Her delicate features just don't seem to register through a camera.
For one thing, photos are one dimensional and we are 3 dimensional. Many people are not photogenic.
Also, though it's not noticeable when you're looking at a person, the two sides of our face are not exact duplicates. It is a scientic finding. I got a chance at a science fair to have a machine take my photo and duplicate 2 right sides and 2 left sides, the 2 reconstructed photos did not lookk at all like me. I think that it is good to find out if one side of the face photographs better than the other and then make sure that side is angled toward the camera, but not facing straight on. I am not sure what else would help. A professional camera can improve a photo. But like I said, some people are not photogenic.
Is she the one worried or complaining? If she wants some good shots of herself, find someone with a good quality camera to take some pics of her. The lighting is important. Morning light is the best for outdoor shots. Once the sun is overhead or the glare of afternoon angled sun causing shadows, a photo just will not come out as good.
Here's something both you and her might find fun and helpful. An article on selfies.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/11/tech/mobile/selfie-photo-tips/
Good luck!