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am I a lesbian??


Question Posted Thursday September 11 2014, 10:09 am

Okay so I feel myself a lesbian because I like the girl in school....I think it's okay to like her but then I feel weird and not normal when I getting to like her.I REALLY WANT TO STOP!!! I DONT WANT TO HAVE A BAD FUTURE....Thank You

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kkayy answered Saturday September 20 2014, 3:04 pm:
Just to be clear, being a lesbian would not mean you'd have a bad future - that all depends on your actions and choices.
As for your actually question, are you a lesbian? Based off this, I wouldn't say so. You could just feel a strong connection with her. Even if you're attracted to her it doesn't necessarily mean you're a lesbian.
I hate girl parts but I still find girls attractive, and even been really into one before but I am definitely not lesbian.

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Dragonflymagic answered Saturday September 13 2014, 3:08 am:
There can be two different kinds of attachment, one where a person has an emotional connection to a person and has an emotional need they seek to get fulfilled by or are getting fulfilled by that person.
Then there is a sexual connection. A person is sexually attracted to someone, has real desire to please the other sexually and to be pleased by the person.
Often a people is lucky to find both in one person.

Having an emotional connection to a same sex person doesn't necessarily make you lesbian. Many women find that they are heterosexual when it comes to sex but have emotional needs better filled by females. I found some of the women who called themselves bi sexual to actually be more of the ones needing just the emotional relationship with another female. Women have been getting their emotional needs met from other females for eons, I did growing up. And I had girlfriends I felt a deep love for like a sister or parent. But that deep love had no sexual wants or desires attached to it. Perhaps this is your situation?
If you discover you do have sexual desires for her, thats okay. If you are young, you are still growing and changing. though many are sure of their sexual orientation from a young age, there will be those who are still trying to discover where they fit. What makes it hard for some to accept is the bias of churches and society. It is becoming more acceptable every day to have an alternative sexual orientation from what society has considered the norm. Your future won't be bad unless you have family who are short sighted and would harass you about it. If so, don't tell them.
Good luck dear.

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solidadvice4teens answered Friday September 12 2014, 10:58 pm:
Who said anything about a bad future if your orientation is in fact gay? You will still have a productive and happy life or the one you have now in long run.

Have you always liked girls or just this one person in particular? Do you also like men? It may be too early to figure out orientation and this may be curiosity if not something that has always been the case.

I think what you should do is talk to someone be it a teacher, counselor, therapist confidentially and tell them you aren't sure about any of these feelings and whether you are gay, straight or bi-sexual and are troubled about it.

There are a lot of great resources out there including PFLAG who can help empower you and deal with figuring this out and if gay etc. how to deal with family and being open about it. No matter what things will be okay long term.

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carpe_diem answered Friday September 12 2014, 2:31 pm:
Hi!! It would help to know how old you are! Anyways, based on what you have written here, I can tell you that has nothing to do with you being a lesbian. Girls can like girls and it's perfectly normal! If I'm not wrong, it's called a girl crush :D
Anyways, there are instances where you would like a man and a woman and you have bisexual tendencies! Ours okay to admire the way they are as long as you don't go around thinking about them sexually! If you do, maybe you are still figuring out which gender you like better! If you are mature enough, date and instant how you are with men! That should help! And finally, it's definitely not wrong to be a lesbian. Irs what you want to be and that's got nothing to do with you ruining your life :)
Hope that helps!!
PS : I have had many girl crushes, but I like men better!!;)

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