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moving out of state dealing with opposition
Ok so this is the backstory. I broke up with my ex about four months ago we dated for seven years. I am over him ive developed a serious relationship with a guy ive known for seven or eight years. he lives in DE i live in IL right now. I do hair for a living and while i make great money its not enough to pay for rent and everything else. I am in a situation where i have to find a new place to live in a couple months. Ive got nothing holding me back and i want to move out there not just for him but for me. Ive always been the type that has done what my family has pushed me to do not necessarily what i wanted to do. Ive told my family and they all just look at me like im strange or something i told them its not just for him but for me to get a fresh start how do i handle all this not even sure what my question is i guess just perspective?
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Sometime you have to step out the box and try new things. One thing you should do is transfer your cosmotoligy license to the state of Deleware, and be looking for a job right now. Go online to [Link](Mouse over link to see full location), or even type in for cosmotoligist positions on Google for the area where you plan to live. Also when you get a job, save some money and use that towards a downpayment on you a place to stay on your own, this way if things dont work out with you and your boyfriend, but fnd that you like living there. You begin living an independent lifestyle, go back to cosmotigist school foucus on becoming a master comostoligist , so that you can have a chance to own your own salon. Hair buissness make high revenue,and it can take you anywhere. So stay in this field, you will soar to higher heights. This will be your chance to proove not only your family but yourself that you capable of making it with or without them. Good luck with your move. Its gonna be fine. Listen to your inner voice. Your heart also.
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There are two ways or two perspectives with which to look at your situation and we can leave out the love interests as they could be immaterial in one perspective.
Your 20 years old according to what I see on the age information on the questioner. In one sense that is not all that young or very old. You have chosen to move almost 800 miles from home where you have a support system in place to someplace where there is no support system other than a developing relationship.
The different prospective are which is better staying where you have a support system in place or going off on your own to find a new life. Both have a lot to offer. Depending where in IL you live the cost of living could be about the same or greater in DL. Something you need to think about. Given today's economy it is very important for a young person like yourself to have a support system in place; this is most likely the reason for the looks you are getting from your family. The other prospective is if staying where you are is causing you to hurt physically and mentally then moving away for a fresh start is a good idea. Though moving should be done not in a rush but in a reasonable defined manner.
We cannot make this choice for you that is up to you. You are an adult and you have the right to make up your own mind. Yes hear your parents and friends out on what they have to say, take in to consideration their advice. In the end you make the final decision.
If the decision is to move do so in an orderly manner just don't quit your job, pack up the car and move. What I suggest is this. Take a week and go visit:
1: Look for a new job.
2: Look for a place to call home. You can look to share an apartment with someone or you can rent a room from someone to save expenses.
3: Do not count on or plan on nor would I suggest moving in with this new love relationship. There are several reason for this the main one is you need time to be free from attachments. You need time to heal; one of the main reasons I am not trying to talk you into staying where you are.
4: I would suggest you have enough in savings to carry you for a few months while you build up a clientele the salon you chose to work at.
Once everything is in place and you have given this the due diligence this change in life requires then follow your decision.
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So you've known the ex and new guy for about 7 years, from age 13 on, the teen years.
I have found much written that points at a person not really defining who they are until 28, 29 30. Before that, we are all still changing and growing.
The years you've known either of the guys was during some of person's beginning of growth and changes. The new guy, I don't know how well you can say you know him unless he was a best friend and hung out with you lots while you dated the other. the serious relationship is long distance? And whens the last time you got a chance to spend any significant amount of time getting to know who he is as a person today? I am sure you feel comfortable with him because you have known about him and known him at least casually, as a fellow student. But when it comes to a relationship, especially becoming room mates, you need to realize that lots of the important stuff you need to know ahead of time to know if this is the best choice, just isn't going to be available to you. There is so much about yourself that he doesnt know about yet and vice versa, so that living together is going to bring these things to the surface. Hopefully its all nice and good stuff. But generally, from all I have heard from, too many start living together and discover some things they can't and won't tolerate. But they remain cus they feel stuck having to stay for what ever reasons...one being financial reasons such as yours. Keep that in mind when you consider him for a room mate. Have a back up plan ready in case the roommate thing and the relationship turn out to be bad news. If you don't have a friend or two for emergency sake in DE you could go to, then its risky.
I am cautious because after marrying at 20, to a guy everyone thought was great, I discovered he had mental illness and was verbally abusive...not for the 1st 6 mos and after it started. I learned the hard way. Then after a divorce I began dating. Now wiser, I ended up on dates for the 3rd time around with some guys I thought were genuinely great guys but it took til then for them to finally show their true self, who they are at core. And it was not something I was willing to put up with. The key is that I was able to recognize the bad traits and broke up before getting my heart involved. I eventually found my 2nd husband, a prince of a man. I understand you wanting to do something new, and thats fine. Just make sure it's possible for you to have family to fall back on and travel back to in IL if all goes south. Dont stay for an abusive or kinda bad relationship, willing to settle for less just to have a room mate. If you dont want to or cant go back to family or they wont help, then at least, advertise for a room mate at some local colleges and find one that you can get along with and move out with that person if your sweetheart ends up not being so sweet.
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