Hey guys and girls its me again.
I have a question.
So my mom has a guy friend now that has 5 kids and a wife 4 girls plus the mom and he says that he wants me to talk to him when I feel down and he also said that I can call him anything that I want so does that mean that he wants to be a father figure for me and try and take care of me like one of his own kids.
Don't fall for this trick. Most men in the late 30's 40's and even in their 50's have this fascination with young girls. Please do not trust him. He may have other things on his mind sexually when it concern you.
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I am 20 years old girl.2 years ago I met a boy (23 years) on facebook.He was from the another city of my country.I never add unknown people. Actually I was searching someone from his company. And I sent friend request to him. But after chatting I came to know that he was not the one. I decided to remove him. But from his old status I came to know that he lost his mother last year. I really felt bad. And decided not to remove him. We became friends. We used to chat for long time. He shared a lot of things with me so did I. He was a nice boy. He cared for me. I forgot to take my medicine. He asked me everyday that I took my medicine or not. He asked my opinion about his business card. I mean he gave me priorities. But after 2 months don't know what happened he started to change. He didn't reply me back like before. I didn't ask why. And I started to realize that I like him. I felt bad about it that how I fall in love with someone on internet. I decided to move on and not to talk to him anymore. But that time it seemed very difficult to me. I decided to remove him. One night I knocked him and told him something about my family and then told him that I am going to remove him. He said please tell me the reason. I told him and removed him.but still I used to message him and he replaid me. That time I came to know from other source that he hided things from me. He didn't told me that his father got married few days ago. He told me that he had a girlfriend for one year but he never loved her. But I came to know that after that he also had a girlfriend almost for 3 years. But he didn't tell me anything about it. After one months I added him again. He accepted friend request and talked to me like nothing happened. Everything became normal again. I gave him my number. We started to chat on whatsapp. Almost like before. It was my birthday. I asked for gift. He asked what I want. I told as your wish. He told me to ask for something. I told him that you won't be able to give me. He asked me what. I didn't want to tell him. But he forced me and requested me to tell what I want. I told him that I liked him seriously and I really wanted to spent my life with him. He told me that we didn't meet each other ever so we shouldn't think about it. One night I asked him,won't you ever love me?He said "you are a very silly girl,stop this childish,it will be good for you and relationship are really trouble thing for me". On reply I said I will wait for you because I am unable to love anyone else.He didn't say anything.One day I called him and we talked for the first time. That day he told me about his father marriage. We talked for 20 minutes. And he was nice. After that we used to talk. His birthday was coming I decided to send him a gift. I asked for his address but he refused to give it to me. But I knew his addressed already so I sent the gift. And he accepted it(There was his another female friend. She also liked him. She also send him gift but he didn't accept it.I came to know from someone.) And on his birthday he called me and said that I am crazy. But he was happy.Every thing was going well. One day I knocked him on whatsapp and after sometime he replaid. Like he always does. But I felt something is wrong. Don't know why!!! But my mind telling me that something is wrong. I felt that he was not replying me. Someone else was doing it. And the person talked to me little rudely. I knew that he couldn't talk to me like that. I end the conversation. I was so upset that he allowed someone to reply me by his phone. After 7 days I knocked him and asked about the matter. He told that it wasn't he. I asked who it was. He told it was his colleague. But he didn't tell the name. I got very angry. He tried to explain me that it wasn't intentional. But I didn't pay any heed to his talk. I asked him how could he allowed someone to message me. He said that his colleague borrowed his phone for some work and I knocked that time and she replaid. She also deleted the message but told him what she wrote. And she did it for fun. I was so angry. I shouted at him. And told him not to contact me ever. At last he also got angry and told me that I was just a facebook friend to him nothing else and he never thought about me.
After that I found out the girls name. She is 1 year older than him. She also proposed him. But he said no. I contacted him again almost after 3 months. He also did. One day he called me we talked for so long. And the next day the girl tried to commit suicide and admited into hospital but he didn't even go to see her. When I heard about it I really felt bad.I come to know that the girl is back in his life.They talk to each other.But they are just friend. He never tells me anything about it ever. I found it out from another source. I also ask him that if he has any problem to talk to me he can tell me directly I won't contact him again. But he says he has no problem to talk to me.
We don't talk like before.He never knocks me. I don't knock him much. I still have that feelings for him. I still like him. But it doesn't hurt me anymore. I am doing okay in my life. I call him sometimes(like once in a month/months) . And he talk to me nicely like before we used to talk. I wonder he still remembers little things about me. I talk to him like a friend. I never talk about my feelings and all this. But last time when we talked he asked me,do I have a boyfriend now? I said,no. He asked,why? On my mind I was telling,because I told you that I will wait for you. But i didn't tell him that. I told him that you know the answer but may be you don't remember it.I was a little angry.
Should I move on?Should I cut contact with him?
And yes I always feel that he has some feelings for me. May be its not love,but its special.Did/does he have?I accept the fact that he would never love me. But I still love him. And I am okay with that.
Tell me what to do now?
Move on , because you can do better. Sound like he is playing you for an internet fool, and I know in my heart that is something you are not, Men nowadays be on some shady stuff , you have to be careful what kind of company you entertain on Facebook or anywhere on the net. There is some cool guys out there in real life you can meet, but keep your guard up until you feel that guy is the right guy for you to date. Listen to your heart and mind they both work together, in many ways.
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I feel that I'm ugly because most of my life,especially through elementary school,everyone called me ugly,freak,disgusting and what not. I do take care of myself but I feel that it doesn't help. And it wasn't just them,whenever I'd pursue a guy he'd reject me,saying I'm ugly and fat. And on the rare ocassions I got a boyfriend he would either cheat or neglect me. Like I said,I am as fashionable as I can be with my current financial status,I work out,but it just doesn't make me prettier to anyone. That friend of mine married yesterday. For example she is too thin and malnutritioned,when she dresses up it's a circus,but guys love her. Her husband looked at her as if she was a goddess. And I am simply invisible, I just can't find a good guy.
stop feeling like you ugly, seriously stop right now, I feel you giving yourself a hard time for nothing, understand you have to work with what you got, like you say you are financially stable, try living your life for yourself, the first thing first love yourself first, take your self on a cruise, start doing things for yourself and live life to the fullest, God made a person for each of us, stop being so consume with how you look, do something about it, a man will wont you but you need to stop putting yourself down and thinking you so ugly, because some of the sexiest and the most handsome people in the world are sometime the very ones that will break your heart, like I say focus on your inner self and relax, pray and trust in God that a man will find you the most desirable person , once he come along all the other men going to want to pursue you too, but you tell them to back off, because they didn't want to be with you when you was single so don't be trying to be interested in you while you with that special guy, sometime moving to another region or to another part of the US you will find that guys have a different taste in the flavor of what kind of woman they are attracted too, you will be surprise what you will find, there are men who date big women try going to BBW websites or for full figure women, I'm full figure and really I don't have a problem getting a date. I accept that I am a queen and I rule my own universe, you have to walk like you own the world and take control of your life and how you look at things around you if a man don't want you, OH well that's his loss, trying doing new things with your skin, if you have clear skin use proactive to make it better, try a new hair style , do some sexy arches for your eyebrow, change your hair color, drink more water , buy color contacts to enhance the color of your eyes, work on making your skin sexier take a shower in seaweed soap it will make your body feel like silk. Sometime the color of your lipstick will bring out the best features in your smile, try using Crest 3D products to make your teeth super white, go to a Mary Kay consultant or if you wear glasses change the frame to a sexier style frame, do a website for women that feel unbeautiful, Cal your website Unbeautiful and design a blog, and you will find you not the only one feeling like you, you not alone there are so many women out there that feel the same way as you, you have the power and you hold the key to get more women involved, Because you don't need to be feeling like you do, stop putting yourself down, like I say looking pretty isn't everything , brains and power is sexier. SO start doing something about it.
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So at school I will put up this bubbly happy girl act so people will like me so now I have acquaintances and I think I'm starting to become like that.. I mean its not like i'm unhappy but in real I am a very scared stupid shut in. When I get home I go straight to my room on my computer like now, every day. So instead of studying i'll be slacking off on my computer all day and when i have homework or something to do i'll get distracted or just stare off into space instead of doing my homework. At school during lessons I tend to space out and daydream rather than pay attention. When I talk to people i can be myself around I tend to talk about boring things and then they will stop paying attention or be like "uh huh, yeah" so I'm kinda depressed and confused and have no idea what to do.
Awww, I remember those days. But I still manage to graduate with a high school diploma.
I feel you hate your subjects. What are your favorite subjects? Math? English? Science? One day when you are online go to Google, search for learning programs that can help enhance your learning experience. Try this website http://mathreadinghelp.org its a great place to help you enjoy how you do your homework. Just Google Math and Reading Help .org from Google it will take you straight to that website, sign up and be ready to reshape how you view education. Just try it. It is well worth it.
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Hey my parents are emotionally abusing me but i doubt they know it. I feel like i am slowly suffocating to death. I don't like feeling like this and I just want to be normal rather than be depressed. They won't understand even if i talk to them because although they think they are modern, they really are not. My father always thinks that he is right and all my life choices have been made for me already. Do you think i should commit suicide?I don't want to live like this anymore and I can't live with my pride stripped away. I don't want to be so selfish and just die but its not like I am ever going to be happy in the shade of my parents so what's the point?My religion is against suicide too but am at the point of no return.So many things have happened and I can't forget all those bitter memories and its close to killing me dad by day.I used to have endless dreams but they all hold no meaning anymore.What do i do?I can't even take it one day at a time, should i just die?I feel so pathetic please help me please i don't know what to do
I am from singapore
If you have time go to http://www.meetup.com they have support groups in Singapore on that website. You need somebody to talk to. http://www.wellsphere.com is another website that have support groups on there too. I am sorry you are going through this, and I bet you feel alone, but you not lots of people , children, and teens alike go through series of abuse inside their home. Don't focus your energies with suicide, You need an outlet. Coming to advicenators is the best place in the world to vent, We as columnists are here to help you when you have nobody to talk to. Look me up Ask Bianca555 I'm here and willing to read your thoughts. OK never hesitate to write to me.
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20/f
I don't know how come,but literally every girl is beautiful and I am not. I always ruin photos,they look gorgeous and then there's me. I'm 160 cm tall and I'm plus size but not fat. I just don't feel good being me. I feel ugly and am ugly. Why is everyone blessed with beauty and I am not? I am dressed up most of the time,I have nice clothes on,jewelry,make up,everything. I try to eat healthy,I exercise an hour and a half three times a week. Yet despite all of that I'm still ugly. I can't even get a boyfriend,and my best friend will be married in 2 days. In short I'm simply desperate.
Please stop! I find most people who say they are ugly are really very beautiful. Full figure women are very beautiful. What is your flaws? Please talk to me, Stop beating yourself up...OK!!! I wanna know what it is about you that make you feel the way you do. Lets see if I can put a smile on your face. I am full figure and I feel beautiful and I turn heads, get phone numbers, you be surprise who like full figure women. So realize you are a beautiful queen and you can take the world by a storm. Write back to me. OK
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'fingering girl, may have precum on finger, but girl took ipill after the incident....will she be pregnant?
I doubt very seriously she can get pregnant that way.
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Hello guys, I have joined today to get a solution to my problem. I talk way too fast, so fast that m,y words don't come out clearly, i mumble when i get anxious,i panic when i hear about a presentation. I have managed to somehow give a few presentations but i have no idea whether the listeners understood anything or not. I am working in the marketing sector in a company. Please help me with your advices, suggestions. Please...
Guess what? Do you know if you practice speaking fast clearly, you can earn money with your speed talking. Try being an autioneer, they make pretty good money, Pratice speaking fast clearly, learn speed reading, you have a talent, and if you do it right you can benefit from it, do a youtube video, i bet you can go viral with it. Its a reason for why you talk like this, im jealous, i always wanted to talk fast. But hey consider yourself blessed. I t will worked to your ad vantage.
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What qualifies someone to give advice on this site?
You can be one on here, if you have a good ear, or good with giving advice, you can sign to run your very own advice column on this site.
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It's seriously ridiculous. It's a child's play thing! Little girls receiving them don't give a shit about body type, they just see it as a fun, bright colored doll! When I was young I was obsessed with barbies, every time my mom took me to a store with a Barbie, I'd be arguing with her and wouldn't leave without one. I still love playing with them. When I was 7, my mom took me to New York City, and we went into this huge you store and I made my own and ran a barbie fashion show, and I'm not subconscious about my body. And for people who are it's not your childhood doll's fault. It could be peer pressure, you might be obese and insecure about it, or in extreme cases anorexic. Barbie dolls can't put you down or tell you what's perfect (they never did it in the movies and their personality is a good role model for girls), and they certainly can't make you insecure, they're freaking objects, not conscious humans! And there is a model who transformed herself into a Barbie. I personally think it looks a little creepy and fake, but if she thinks it's pretty, that's her decision, not yours. And she works hard for it. And I met her in real life and she is really spirited and nice so you shouldn't judge someone unless you've met them. Like I thought Terissa from house wives was a bitch, but my mom dragged me to some wine store so she could get her cook book signed, and she was nice! Same with big ang (I've met a lot of famous people).
lol, thst is so true. People obsessed over Barbies big time. i know a lady who have a shrine to her barbie doll collection. So really people live for Barbies no matter how old they arr.
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I am a 22 year old female and I just contracted genital herpes about 2 months ago. I am taking daily medication for it, and always use condoms, and would never have sex with any present sores. I read that with daily suppressive therapy and condom use, there is about a 1-2% chance of passing herpes from female to male, including shedding.
If it is that tiny of a risk that I would pass it to my current partner, what is the point of telling him I have it? Also, 80% of people who have herpes dont know they have it, and therefore are not taking any medication, making it a lot less risky to have sex with me than just some random girl, especially with such a low percentage of me passing it anyways. So, without lecturing me, please give me a legit reason why I should tell my partner?? If you were in my shoes, would you?
Thanks!
One of my friends sister in prison right now because she had aids knew she had it, gave it to her boyfriend he died with aids on the accont of her, she told her boyfriend while he was on his death bed that she gave him the aids virus, he told his family, in return his girlfriend got arreested and was sentence for 50 years plus his family filed wrongful death for 3.2 million dollars, and won, If you dont tell him now, it maybe too late, because he can sue you for litigations and sue you for not revealing you have herpes, embarress you by revealing your information of you having herpes in newspapers, or even on the news.Your boyfriend can make your life a living hell. I would if a guy kept a secrect from me like that, he will be embarrassed, I would sue the pants off him, might beat his@$! just thinking about it. You cant be safe with herpes, reading information on the internet, is not the best solution. You have to be responsible, and mature about your choices or you will pay dearly for your dishonesty. So tell him the truth.
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I am 25 years old and I am a female and I had oral sex for thefirst time ever I have ner fone anything sexual before nowb in my life and I am a virgin . I knowbyou proble dodon't get a lot of women who are old as I am who are virgins asking about stds on this site but iam terrified that I might have aids when I didn't even have intercourse. We were both naked and he ate me out and I sucked his dick and he gingered me could I get aids from letting this guy that I have known since I was 16 do this to me . I know this may make .e sound like a whore but we was only dating a week before he wanted to have sex and I said didn't want to have sex so we decided on oral sex . I am so scared because the other day I was in the shower and I noticed 3 little bumps inside my vagiana and I also have a boil that's kind of grey looking sorry if this is to grafic but I wanted to give you complete detail of what's going on with me so you could answer my question properly. I talked to my cousin about my situation and she said that I needed to go see a gbyon and get tested for aids and other stds . I am so scared. Please help . I made an appointment gor the 10th of my next month and iam absolutely terrified because I don't know what to they are going to do. How do they check for aids is it s blood test or do they actually have to check down there ? Will they tell anyone if I have aids . Please help me. Thank you so much.
Lets hope you learn your lesson about this, understand men and women they out for themselves sexually nowadays, You have to be careful all together,staying a virgin is the best option for you. Never let anybody pressure you into losing your virginity, save it until you find a guy to narry you. I am not hear to pick on you, but im here to say, do the right thing, because your body is your temple, respect your body and guard your virginity against stupid guys for now on
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I am married w/2 girls 21 & 16. My oldest doesnt ever come around and I am told that is my fault. My husband calls me names, disables my car, when I can leave he shows up so I go back again. I recently had my 3rd back surgery, cant find a job, and am pathetic to my family so my girls go to his mother even on Mother`s Day!..I just want to fall asleep and die but do not know how to do it. I have tried, so need to know what/how many do I need to take?...NOT 1 PERSON would care if I wasnt around. dont judge I get enough of that
Do you belive in the miracles of Christ. Have you ever prayed about your situations, when you are alone, just talk to god, he hear you. Pray for the angels of healing and angels of peace to surround you , ask that the lord rescue you and reign peace in your life. Because you need peace, you need to know you are a besutiful person, Tell satan to let go of your health, give back control of your, Pray that you will heal and be able to have control of your life. Im gonna be praying for you.Keep your bible open on psalms 23 read Lord is my sheppard everyday, just say it even if your husband dont like it, because ig he try to interrupt you, God will make him or break him. He need to stop hurting you,, and start loving you. He need to be your husband and not be your enemy. Tell him everything he is putting you through the good lord will hit him harder where it hurts, remind him that you love him , and that he not gonna be blessed for how he treat you. Because karma is a bad thing. He will have to answer only to God for vevetything, call your pastor or call a prayer hotline, have your pastor to come see you amd he bless your home, and he pray for you. Prayer is a powerful tool, prayer changes things.So focus on the rescue for your life. It will happen.
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I am married for 3.5 years. My husband thinks i dont deserve him. I am too inferior too him. He is a doctorate nd i am only a diploma holder. Nd moreover he thinks i am dumb which probably i am. He married me under family pressure nd now asks me to leave him. I come from a very orthodox family ehich doesnt accepts divorced ladies. I love my husband a lot nd dont want to leave him. But he is not happy with me. So i dont know what to do. Please advice. I am 26 years old.
Girl move on wit your life, live for you, go back to school get a degree and shove everything he ever said to you back in his face, As for your family, talk directly to your minister and request to rededicate yourself to your religion, if not join another type of religion , because they not a god loving religion if they do not not ever accept you back into their synagouge, you get a divorce, move foward, start living your life for you, pray and pray that God will guide you to the right people, matter of fact start allowing the lord above to be closer in your life. Trust me everything will turn out in your favor, you will shime. So move forward, Make preparations to reshape the course of your life, everything will be fine.
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We done great together gor 2 yrs. Now im being treated as a child. Cut off fro ALL money. Put down constantly as he thinks im incapable of even talking. Fight fight fight. I dont think i can take another dark path. We decided i would be a stay at home mom. Now im interested in nothing. I just miss my son. I dont rub it in his face. He hurts too. But i would never say hurtful things to him. He NEVER did. Now every time i open my mouth its wrong. How can i make him c im trying and i love him more than ever.
Sound like your husband is cheating on you. Woman for heaven sake realize you are a beautiful human being, you are a queen, get yourself together, stop trying to live for your pathetic man you call as your husband, he is a sad excuse of a man, stop trying to prove how you feel for him, the death of your son was suppose to draw you both closer,but he is acting like an ass, The best thing and the best way to hurt him, is leave, get a divorce and get on with your life. You dont need his money, contact legal aid and tell them you want to get a divorce you dont have anymoney, they can probably allow you to file for a divorce with little money. Also if you got access to a computer go online to http://www.goodwill.com on their site Goodwill have classes you can take for free, Goodwill even have a good program that can help you prepare for a jpb. Better yet,go to Google look up Allison Course, the classes are free, I recieved a certification through their program you only have to pay for your certificate once you complete your studies, your husband dont have know about your plans, let him keep thinking you all the things he think you are, make him eat all those words simpily by making him look like the smaller person. You hold the key to you destiny, start avting like you dont see him,start fixing your hair,start wearing makeup get a new hair color, the main thing to do is pray, Tell God whats going on in your marriage alkow him the Almighty heavenly Father take chsrge of your life. Everyday when your husband not around open the book to psalms 23 revite it. My grandma say sprinkling salt on the floor , and wearing red peppers in your shoes will keep problems far away for you. Everyday say things like Lord Bring me peace, Lord restore my life, Lord bless me with a job, lord bless me with a job, Say these things over and over again. Watch what will happen, Because God dont like ugly.
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He likes to have control over everything. This morning I asked if he wanted me to wash his pants. He didn't respond so I asked again.In return he said I told u no. I said no you didn't say anything. So he got mad and started yelling at me. I'm driving him to work and I asked did u want to stop at a store. He looks at me and says ain't it obvious. In return I said I don't know what you want to do.I can't read mind s and I never assume I ask. He turned and said just take me to work. I'm just agreeing with what you suggest. I'm like what I never made a suggestion I just needed to know what next. We got to an argument over that. When I have company he sits in my friend's conversations. But when he has company he tells me and my kids to to our room. If we come out we get into a big argument. We really have to stay in our room until he says we can come out. Sometimes it's for 8hours no exaggeration. I have a bucket in my room to use for the bathroom. We eat when he decided to let us eat. He has hit me on three different occasions. I told him I don't like him and he said he was moving with his mom. So I took him and I told him he will never see us again. The next day he was at my door asking for forgiveness but I don't feel like he's going to change. He still act's the same way. But now he says he don't give a fuck about anything I do.
Why you stoop to his level, You bring all that drama to yourself, you need to focus on being a mom to your children, learn to gain control in your own life and stop allowing men like THAT in your life. You are a grown woman, so really you dont need a man to rule your life and ruin it at the same time. You need to apoligize to your chikdren and tell.them as of today , nobody will hurt you or them ever again, change your locks on your doors. Get a restrain order on your boyfriend, also talk to your landlord and let him know you have been having issues with a boyfriend, have him or her to type a letter stating that nobody is allowed to live in your apartment unless that tenant pays the same ammount of o money monthly on the rent. Plus talk to a police officer have him to do a routine ride throgh or even have him to make random visit , just in case you feel uncomfortable about your boyfriend lurking around near your property. Make sure your family know whats going on with you. Buy a gun get a license to carry the gun, take lessons on how to shoot a gun, take self defense courses, these classes will teach how to protect yourself in case of an attack. Take cintrol of your life, havevyour plans in action and prepare to move forward with your head high, and dont back down on nobody not even your sorry azz boyfriend.
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I'm 29years oid, my boyfriend just disvirgin me somedays ago and the pains is much and my breast is bigger than each other? Pls help
I feel you was not ready, becsuse if you was in the mood with him , the sex would not be dry for you to.hurt afterwards, When you lose your virginity to somebody whose suppose to care, its the guy job to ensure you are made to be felt special the first time you have intercourse with him, but i sense he was rough and didnt care, and to me you was raped. If at any point during sex you said you wanted to stop and he refuse to listen, THATS CALLED RAPE. why did you have sex with your boyfriend, I bet you didnt, because women who are virgins passed the age of 29 nowadays, dont have sex at all. They normally stay virgin for the rest of their entire life. Some wait until they are married. Being a virgin is a beautiful thing. Dont never do nothing sexually if you not in the mood or when you feel uncomfortable. Just take your time to heal, and think about what happened. Because in my heart , I feel you was forced and this mean you were raped.
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hey everyone!
so i have a 21 year old boyfriend & im 19. but it seems like no matter how much i wash my vagina it still seems to smell!! any suggestions?? also my butt seems to smell as well. i know this sounds weird & awkward. im sorry guys haha. & yes i take showers & wash as many times as i can. with a bar of soap (wash it 3 times in the shower) and then sometimes body wash after. thinking maybe it might make it smell better.
please help! ahhhh!
thanks!
First you should drink more water, Also try bathing with baking soda , when you bathe in baking soda, it removes all types of smell, you should also try bathing with a feminine body wash by Summers Eve. These are things you would need after sex. they have feminine wipes you can carry with you, Playtex the makers of Playtex Tampons have wipes to.keep.your private areas fresh in between periods, after sex or on days you just wanna feel.clean
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Why do guys think it's attractive to gag/choke on their penis?
Its not attractive at all. Besides if you meet a guy who rather recieve than to give, move on. Make him gag on a dildo while he is handcuffed, I bet than he wont ever ask you to perform oral sex on him again. Because thats wrong and he have no right to force you to gag on his penis for his on gratification. Im sorry, but thats not the way it suppose to be, sex is suppose to be fun and excited. If you are ever in a situation with a person and you dont feel comfortable about doing it with that person , you have the right to say no,No means No. Thats all im saying.
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I've recently started dating a guy. We expressed mutual desire to wait a while for sex as we both valued emotional connection versus just physical, but things happened and well, in a heated moment of passion, we has sex. Unprotected. Damn. I asked before he put himself in me if he had a condom, he didn't so we slowed things down a bit, but apparently not slow enough cause we ended up having sex anyway. Stupid move, I know. But being on birth control for the last 10+ years I wasn't worried at the time about pregnancy. Until after of course when you inevitably get that constant panic until your period shows up...
We talked about it afterwards and I expressed that since I felt emotionally ready, it wasn't a big deal for me that we didn't wait to have sex, and that it was a step further in our relationship and wanted to make sure he was on the same page, but that condoms were a must in the future. He seemed to be but he still wanted to wait a while for the next time. Fair enough.
A week later, we did diner at my place and things got heated again, and realizing that I didn't hit up the pharmacy that week for condoms because I assumed that 'a while' meant more than a week, I decided not to let things end up in the bedroom. He asked what was the matter and I told him we couldn't have sex because I didn't have condoms at my place. Turns out he doesn't believe in wearing condoms, only in the pull-out method (which is not actually a protection method BTW!), and doesn't want to use them because it ruins the moment. I explained that condoms are supposed to be part of the act and that there are sexy ways to include it, just like grabbing for lube or a toy, and they don't have to be this evil thing he made them out to be. He responded in a "well i've always done it that way and since we both dont want kids right now, whats the problem? besides you're on the pill anyway". I explained that the condom was used for protection against a lot more than pregnancy for me, and it keeps my sanity after sex from my mind going wild and thinking up all sorts of "im pregnant" scenarios, and that it also just happens to protect against STD's. He basically told me that the pullout method was more effective and that I was being very manipulative "going back on my word" after the first time. I apologized for the miscommunication, but that I was not ready to change my beliefs (and health risk!), and that if he didn't understand than we would just not have sex, ever, and that is a very important aspect to a relationship for me. He proceeded to try an convince me that "since I was going to be worried about pregnancy for no reason until my period anyway, that we could do it one more time his way (pullout) and then afterwards we could continue with using condoms. I told him that I was not going to be bargaining with him about something that I care very strongly about, and he responded with a speech about how apparently I didn't actually care about him if I was willing to throw away what we had built just because he wouldn't wear a condom, and that it was just because I like to be in control of everything. I told him that it was a very difficult decision, but I had to go with my gut and trust that if he truly cared about me he would understand. I didn't ask him to change his beliefs, but to understand where I am coming from. He left after saying "you're making a huge mistake" so I'm pretty sure this means we are broken up.
Did I make the right call? I'm beating myself up for it, but I tried to be as subjective as I could.
female, 26
You did right, he is a loser because he rather have sex without condoms than the be a responsible partner in bed. Understand when you meet a guy thst dont use a condom ,he setting you both up for the kill, guys not only have sex with women, they have unprotected sex with other men and I dont men gay men...but straight men. There are more straight men having bisexual sex with other hetrosexual men , that most women even know. I feel you did right., by calling the shots, he aint real and really you should never had allowed yourself to have unprotected sex with that moron, my advice to you chill out, there are guys who do practice safe sex and those are the kind of men who dont take risk sexually. So take your time, wait, because that special guy will come your way. Understand when a guy pressure you or rush sex with you, he is not the one for you. So relax , You are gonna be fine. God will send you somebody your way.
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