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Everyone is beautiful and I am not.
20/f
I don't know how come,but literally every girl is beautiful and I am not. I always ruin photos,they look gorgeous and then there's me. I'm 160 cm tall and I'm plus size but not fat. I just don't feel good being me. I feel ugly and am ugly. Why is everyone blessed with beauty and I am not? I am dressed up most of the time,I have nice clothes on,jewelry,make up,everything. I try to eat healthy,I exercise an hour and a half three times a week. Yet despite all of that I'm still ugly. I can't even get a boyfriend,and my best friend will be married in 2 days. In short I'm simply desperate.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Please stop! I find most people who say they are ugly are really very beautiful. Full figure women are very beautiful. What is your flaws? Please talk to me, Stop beating yourself up...OK!!! I wanna know what it is about you that make you feel the way you do. Lets see if I can put a smile on your face. I am full figure and I feel beautiful and I turn heads, get phone numbers, you be surprise who like full figure women. So realize you are a beautiful queen and you can take the world by a storm. Write back to me. OK
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I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I think the one thing you need to do is love yourself. I personally use to beat myself up about the way I looked but in the end this is what God gave me. Don't put yourself down it's not going to help you. You only have one life live it!! You deserve to just as much as anyone else. How do you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself?
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First of all beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it truly does go only skin deep. If you think you're ugly you're going to be ugly. I don't know you but from your writing I can tell you are a beautiful person. Being a beautiful person is what a man looks for in a women. Yes the outer beauty is what attracts us but that is only skin deep. IF there is nothing behind that wrapping, nothing will come of their meeting.
You say you are heavy but not fat. This to me says you are a big framed girl. This is something you cannot change. What you need to do is dress in a manner that enhances your frame. Style your hair to highlight your face and then use proper makeup techniques to finish the make over. None of this though will help unless you change your mind set about yourself. You have to stop thinking you're ugly for you are not.
As I said to begin with I don't know you but I do see a beautiful person who may just need a little repackaging. Once you finish your makeover then try a new way of meeting people. The best way I know to meet new people is not in a bar for booty calls. It is to find venues or activities of interest to me.
Lets say for the purpose of and example you are an avid photographer. I know that there are a number of clubs and activities geared to amateur photographers. I would look at these actives and clubs and attend some of the club meetings. I would go on some of the outings. Your common interest is going to spur conversations. Once you start talking to someone a friendship develops. Once a friendship develops they see the inner person and the wrapping falls away they see the real person and relationship can happen.
What I suggest is you sit down with pen and paper and make a list of the things you have an interest in. It could be automotive repair cooking, hiking, softball or religious activities. write them down. Then number them from 1 to how ever many there are. Take the top 4 or 5 and look to see what activities there are for these interest in your area and attend meetings of the clubs or activities.
I have made this recommendation many, many times and the feedback I get is extremely positive. Just remember you are not ugly you are a beautiful person. IF you believe this in yourself it will shine through. There are no ugly ducklings in this world; just ducklings who think they are ugly.
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I am not photogenic in photos either, I have the husband take literally about 100 shots just to find 2 or 3 that actually look good.
Just because a person doesnt turn out well in photo's doesn't mean they are ugly. In fact, ugly is a misnomer. There is what can be called the normal or average looks of people in society and then there are those who fall above the normal average in looks and below the average. The only way we could guarantee to be average in looks is to be a clone of whatever look the media says is in at the moment. They keep changing their ideas over the years. Check out for example Marilyn Monroe when she was younger, as a pin up girl. She was a big boned gal, bigger chest and wider hips and more curvy than models today. I would classify her as plus in size due to her bigger frame.
Beauty has always been in the eye of the beholder. Media is unable to convince every human out there that they have to be attracted to only one type of person. There are guys who are attracted to obese women, skinny petites and everything in between. Some are attracted to the natural look. But most males are attracted not just to their personal likes in looks, but also to females who have lots of self confidence and really like themselves. Since you lack that,( I can tell by how you talk about yourself) a man will bypass you in favor of the female with confidence, even if you both had identical looks. It's about liking the package deal which can include many things beyond just ones looks.
At 20, our brains aren't fully done growing yet so we can be prone to not making the best decisions possible. It takes until mid 20's or as late as 30 to be fully capable of making totally mature decisions and getting married is such a major decision. I married at 20. Wished I hadn't. He was abusive.
I have a video for you to watch done by Matthew Hussey. He discusses objective beauty vs perceived beauty, also making the point I am trying to make. He rambles on in the beginning so you might want to forward to about 31/2 minutes in.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
As for perceived beauty...what you may perceive to be a certain level of beauty in a model isn't necessarily true and all the women trying to look like her never will cus even the model can't look like her photo shopped image..it's not humanly possible!! Here's a link to adobe photo shop on a model:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And lastly, so that you can have some encouragement to change your view of self, that you are not a loser... I include a link to video of Lizzie Velasquez, born with a rare disfiguring disease and yet she is a happy person. Listen to her story here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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