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I want to move on but its complicated for me
So i like this guy lot. He's my classmate tho. He's also my seatmate. We've been classmates for about 3 months now, and i can say that we're very close friends now. I developed feelings for him but i think its not mutual because it seems that he's not interested on me. He's really sweet to everyone including to me. But i know he doesn't like me. Sometimes he's jerk but there's still a good side of him. I dont even know why i like him. I want to move on but its hard because i'll always see him everyday, he's my seatmate and also its hard to ignore him. What should i do? I just cant tell him i like him, its going to be awkward and probably make fun of me. So i just want to push this feelings away. Thank you :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you;re of dating age or the age to start seriously thinking about the future as far as what the ideal guy for you is going to be, then this situation of developing 'feelings' as you say, is not so far fetched.
This is the information gathering stage of your life as far as guys are concerned. You are observing closely the ones that look attractive to you. if you observe some 'attractive' behavior from him, it's easy for you to have your emotions take notice It's also a time when you begin to observe the opposite in a guy, like the bad behavior you refered to when saying he's sometimes a jerk. You will experience such feelings coming up with lots of guys before you ever find 'the one' and marry some day. While the feelings may seem to be those of deep interest or perhaps being in love, it is very unlikely to be able to fall in love, a real love that can last if it is only skin deep or surface level. there is more that you don't know about him than what you do know. Relationships like that don't last as there's no real substance to them, no best friend friendship with the guy, no desires, attraction or romance that last beyond the first couple weeks or months together, no real communication, not enough things in common.
this is a good time for you to begin creating your list of what you need and want in a guy.If a guy doesnt meet the 'Need's/Must haves' on your list, then it's a deal breaker as there is no reason to date let alone marry the guy. If you wont give up a dream of having children one day and the guy is totally against having children, that is a deal breaker, no matter how many other things are great about him. Why date and give your heart to someone and try to convince them on the one point to end up with him fed up with you pestering him to try for kids now, and he instead leaves you and divorces you over it. You have got to be on the same page on the important stuff.
The wants are things like a guy who likes to dance, or prefers wearing his hair long. Even if he doesnt fit either of those, its not a deal breaker, you can live without it and be happy but if there were several perfect candidates as far as meeting needs, then the one you'd go for would be the ones who also meet some of the wants/personal preferances.
In the process of deciding what to even begin to put on your list, it will form over the years by observing other couples and watching how the guy treats his lady, observing the available single guys and also by the experiences you have in dating. You will feel good feelings when observing or experiencing some wonderful behavior from a guy. That's what's most likely happening to you right now. So those feelings want you to take a closer look at him by getting to knowing him better through a close friendship and dating. If he isn't interested in you to begin with, thats the down side of meeting people and attraction, often its only one sided, and in that case, just enjoy the good feelings having him as a classmate but start looking seriously at other guys instead.
It is helpful to know when a guy is intereested, what signs are there, what does he say and do.
I don't care what age, the guys do the same thing. First, you catch them looking at you often, once they get braver, they will smile at you and say hello every time they happen to be close enough. Mind that they aren't smiling and greeting every other girl too, just you. A guy find reason to be near you such as coming to stand or sit near, the closer they stand means they are really interested...this would be about an arms length away, near enough to easily reach out and touch you. Our bodies have subconscious reactions that result in going through body language that sends an invisible message. If a guy you didn't like at all stepped up close, a foot away, you'd be taking a couple steps backwards to greaten the distance because its uncomfortable having him near. If it was a guy you were crushing on, you'd stay put and enjoy his close proximity to you and the wonderful excitement it created in you. Another sign that someone is interested in you, is their finding innocent ways to reach out and touch you, like a playful punch on the arm if you tease, moving a lock of your hair behind your ear, brushing a loose eyelash off your cheek, that sort of thing, and a person interested will be trying to engage you in conversation, complimenting you. If this behavior is done with everyone else too, then he's just a friendly person or a player with females depending on how seriously he goes after it. If you are the only one a particular guy pays this type of attention to, then he's interested in you and waiting for you to take notice and say something. Thats when you engage him in a long conversation and tell him you enjoy talking to him so much you'd like to do this more often and ask for his phone number and ask when his schedule is clear to meet somewhere for coffee or whatever. Since you didn't elaborate on the 'jerk' part, I can't help much there. But if its behavior you don't like, get good at spotting it real early in strangers as you're out in public observing couples. It will save you starting dating a guy with those 'jerk' traits and getting your hopes up before you see clearly that he is a jerk.
Good luck.
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When you say you wanna move on do this mean leave the relationship? Because if you never dated and he just a guy you know, Just presume with a normal life. If he come around and ask you if everytjing, tell him you like him and that you fear rejection,suggest that you would like to be friends with him, let nature take its course. Time will tell. because friendship is best way to develop closeness and a special bond. So start out as friends, this is a great way to get aqquainted with each other.You never know he could be your future husband, or even your friend for life. Good Luck
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