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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i asked a question about, 2 days ago about weather i should be sexually active...i have to come to realize that i shouldn't, but theirs one thing. we have been together for 5 months as of Thursday. But, I'm only 13 and hes only 14, and wants to have sex. I've told him multiple times that i don't want to but he continuously talks about it. And he seems to get irritated when i say no. i don't want to break up with him, nor do i want him to break up with me...how do i tell him no so that he finally stops talking about it, without getting irritated? HELP!

I think I answered your original question. In my response to you I said something to the effect that his love for you is not like your love for him. Boys confuse love and lust.

What you are now righting confirms that he does not love you in the way you love him. His constant pushing you to have sex with him even though you have said no confirms this. No means no you should not have to justify your reason or constantly be pushed to have sex once you have told him no. In actuality what he is now doing from a legal stand point is sexually harassing you.

From my point of view he sees you not as a girlfriend but a sexual object. I honestly believe that if you were to give in he would shortly there after move on to another girl. Boys, especially young boys are very fickle that way.

Tell him one more time that you do not want to have sex with him or anyone else at this time in your life. If he can't accept that go find a new girlfriend to try with. Fact is as my mother would have told you; "Their are plenty of fish in the sea, rebait your hook and go fishing again."

I will tell you this; he will not be you last boyfriend. You will have many more during high school and college before you find the man you want to marry. You do not need a boyfriend pressuring you to do something you do not want to do. Let him go for you can do better then him.

Hi so I'm 17 years old and my period usually comes around the 28th. Lately my boyfriend and I have been having sex nearly everyday for the past few days. We use condoms every time and when he is about to semen he pulls out of me but goes in the condom. But we did have an incident when he pulled out and didn't clean his penis and put another condom on which we found out was broken so he than put a different one on. But could I be pregnant? Or could my period be late from having a lot of sex? I had cramps and my breasts are sore like I would normally get my period but I just don't have it. Thank you for answering my question!!

Stress, such as worrying as to whether you are pregnant can cause your period to be late or not come at all. If you have taken any medications during the month could cause you to miss your period as well. Stress though is the number 1 cause of a late period.

To reduce the stress over whether you are pregnant I would suggest you take a home pregnancy test. The longer you worry over your period being late the more chance your period will not come or you will be writing us back that you had an abnormal type period could you be pregnant and still have this type of period.

The chances you are pregnant are slim based on your description. If you have an active sex life you should be on birth control pills or other birth control as condoms are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy.

If your over 14 and live in the USA a law called HIPPA gives you confidentiality in any medical situation regarding your reproductive system This means you can make and see a doctor without parental permission or knowledge for anything regarding your reproductive health. This also means you can ask for and receive birth control medication. None of this medical information can be given to your parents or anyone else without your written permission.

This includes any visit to a doctor should the home pregnancy test be positive. You would then need to see a doctor for a medical test to confirm. You not the doctor would have to tell your parents and then only if you decide to have the baby. No one can force you to have an abortion, this would be your choice. If you choices and abortion your parents would never know unless you tell them.

Take a home pregnancy test. IF it is negative relax. If you are over 14 go see a doctor and get birth control medication. Your sex life sounds to active not to be on birth control. Even on birth control the BF should still use a condom.

All I think about non stop is the past and regrets over the past. All I keep thinking about is "I wish I had did this or I had done that" or "I wish I had talked to that person or that person" or "I wish I had participated in this or that activity". That is all I think about. Hell, next year from now, I will probably be thinking the same way about right now! how can I stop regretting over the past or longing for the past and focus on now? I just can't do it. I am 21 year old by the way

I actually do understand where your coming from with your question.

We can't live in the past. We can't go back and fix anything that was done wrong, relive what was done right or for the most part participate in somethings we missed out on. What we can do is use the past to guide us through today and tomorrow. These are the days we have control over what we do or how we do things.

We may find away to participate in something we missed out on. We can relive something we enjoyed but may find out that as an adult it is not the same. The saying that you cannot go home again sort of applies to these situations.

There is nothing wrong in thinking about the past as long as it is not an all encompassing occupation that keeps you from moving forward with your life. If this is what you are telling us then you need to find professional help, a therapist, to talk with and find out why you cannot let go of the past. A therapist, a psychologist will help you move from the past to the present and beyond.

Hi. I am a 20 year old girl and I'm a virgin. Recently I've been feeling kind of lazy and I feel like I should just get the sex thing over and done with, is it bad that I don't care about my virginity as much as I used to? I feel like it's this big thing that everyone keeps going on about but if I were to lose it now, it wouldn't be a huge deal for me. Is there something wrong with me? thanks

Zane is right. I'm sure you've had to fight of many boys/men in order to keep your virginity this long. To suddenly just give it up to the next guy you think may be gentle in the taking of your virginity will not only be disappointing. You will forever regret not waiting just a little bit longer for the right guy.

I'm not saying the right guy is the guy you are going to marry. Maybe he will be and maybe he won't be. He should be someone you have feelings for and he for you. Someone who will be honored that you have waited for him to take your most prized possession.

As young boys, teenagers, we see a girls virginity almost as a game. To see how many girls whose virginity we can take. The more virgins we deflower then more points we score in the game. The bigger we are seen by our buds as a man.

As we get older we see a woman's virginity for what it is; a prized possession of hers that she gives to someone she loves and knows will make this a special event for her. For a women losing her virginity is and should be a special event for she can only give her virginity one time.

For a man/boy losing his virginity is not all that special other than we may remember that first time. Although most of us would like to forget it as it is usually awkward and embarrassing if the girl is more experienced then we are.

I don't see your question as something being wrong with you. I see you as an adult now who would like to experience and adult sex life. As an adult your entitled to a sex life. No longer are you bound by parents telling you you're to young. Still what your parents have instilled in you to not have sex until you marry may be fighting against your desire to enjoy sex as your friends may be.

All I can suggest is that you have waited this long you should wait a bit longer to find a lover and not someone with an available penis. As I said above someone who honestly loves you, has feelings for you, is not looking for a one night stand will make your first sexual experience something to remember.

I'm 13 I've been sexually abused,my family always shouts at me and calls me a slut,whore,bitch,worthless,fat stuff like that. So lately I've been hearing voices it started off telling me I'm fat and I must starve myself to be skinny and that I'm a slut and I've become such a bitch and no one loves me and I must go kill myself and I must go cut. Oh and I forgot to say I have cut before(quit a few times) and I've attempeted suicide by taking a OD. But lately the voices have been saying that stuff but they also tell me to do things like my friends and I were talking bwt bloody mary then they made me do bloody mary(the voices) they tell me to jump in front of a car stuff like that. Its starting to scare me and I can't tell my family,I've told my two bestFriends but ya. The voices really scare me. I feel a presence like a bad 1

What I would like you to do is get to a phone and dial 911. You need help and by hearing voices telling you to hurt yourself says you need help now. Since you can't tell your parents for what ever reasons; you can tell the 911 call taker why you need help.

You do not need anyone's permission to call 911, that is what 911 is for. What will happen is emergency responders will be sent to you. There will be a police office. The police officer is being sent to protect you and to make sure the medical personnel are not turned away by your parents.

The medical people will most likely arrive in an ambulance and on a fire engine from the closest fire station. These people are all coming to protect and take care of you. So don't be scared. The call taker will also want to stay on the phone with you until they arrive.

If the EMTs or Paramedics feel you need to go to the hospital for medical treatment, your parents cannot refuse. That is one of the reason the police officer is there, to watch out for you and to see that everything is done in your best interest.

If you fear calling from home and there is a fire or police station within walking distance from home go to one of them and ask for help. Fire and police stations are safe havens for children. If not and you have a cell phone, take your cell phone and walk to the corner, call 911 and tell them where you are and wait their for help to arrive.

But please call 911 or go to a fire or police station now.

HI,i'm a 13/f and my boyfriend is a 14/m. we have been dating for 5 months...but he now wants to become "sexually active." i do as well but, i dont know how. like idk what to do. some one please help so i dont embarrass myself!

First you are both too young to become sexually active. The mere fact that you are asking this question shouts that load and clear. The younger girls become sexually active the more chance she will become pregnant.

Neither of you have matured to the point in body or mind that you should be sexually active. Your bodies are still developing. You may have a womanly body though your reproductive system, while capable of getting pregnant, is still developing. Your vagina is not yet ready to stretch and accommodate a male penis. This will make intercourse very painful for you especially your first time.

If you use tampons, how hard and painful was the first time. Is it still somewhat painful. Think about the size of the tampon and then think about how many times bigger his penis will be. Giving your body time to mature will make your first sexual experience that more pleasurable for you.

As for your boy friend. If he is pressuring you for sex. Saying things like; "if you love me you will have sex with me." He does not love you the way you love him. Boys going through puberty, as are you, need to relieve the sexual tension that builds in them from the hormones no being released. They can relief these tensions through masturbation or finding someone to have sex with. Boys his age confuse love with LUST. He lusts for you or more specific he lusts to use your vagina rather than masturbate to relieve the sexual tension he has.

Should you give in and have sex with him there is also every possibility his lust will diminish. He will then leave you to find another girl he can have sex with. Many teenage boys play a game to see how many virgins they can have sex with. The more virgins they have sex with the more points they score and the bigger they look in the eyes of their friends.

Having once been a 14 year old boy I can say without a doubt his love for you is more lust than love. You, not he has the most to lose here. If you get pregnant you are the one who has to go through the hardships of whatever your parents chose for you as you are not yet old enough to make your own choices.

My advice is not to have sex with him, at least not intercourse. You can give him a hand job or a BJ if you want, although I would suggest not even that. I realize you will do what you want for I am just another adult who is telling you not to. Hopefully I my reasons for saying no are perfectly clear and you heed my advice.

You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to have sex. Now is not the time to start.

Hi i am 17 my boyfriend is 22 do u feel it is ok but we start talking when i was at the age of 14 an he was 19

Given your present ages a 5 year difference in ages is not that big a deal with one exception. Many states have raised the age of consent to 18. This was done to comply with the no child left behind laws for education. As once you reach the age of consent you can also drop out of high school.

If you live in one of the states that has raised the age of consent your boyfriend is breaking the law by even dating you and could go to jail and be labeled a sexual predator for the rest of his life being required to register as a sex offender where ever he goes.

Now when you were 14 and he was 19 there was a problem for you were well below the age of consent. Like Zane the first thing that pops into my mind, if he knew you were just 14, i'd think he is a pedophile or at least has pedophile tendencies.

This would have worried me at the time and still does to a point. Depending on when you two started having sex, there may come a time when you become to old for him and he will go looking for another 14 year old or maybe younger girls to be with. This is how pedophiles work. He may ask you to find a younger girl to hang with the two of you. Should this ever happen then you need to run as far and as fast as you can away from him for he is a pedophile. You also need to report him to the police.

Do I feel it is okay for you to be with this guy? Just based on the information you haves supplied I am going to say no it is not okay. I base my answer not on your present ages but on the ages you were when you met. There is something wrong there and if I was your dad, and I'm old enough to be your granddad, I would want to answer that question before I gave you my okay.

what works best to mix with Clorox bleach to dye my hair and how long should i leave it in for? i have black hair ....

STOP; DO NOT USE HOUSEHOLD BLEACH TO COLOR YOUR HAIR. NOT ONLY WILL IT RUIN YOUR HAIR, IT CAN SERIOUSLY BURN YOUR SCALP. ALSO THE FUMES FROM THE BLEACH CONTAIN CHEMICAL THAT ARE HARMFUL IF INHALED.

That being said I cannot understand why you would want to color you hair having beautiful Raven colored hair. They say blonde's have more fun but to me a raven haired women is more sexy.

If you feel you must color your hair, given the color of your hair, I would suggest you first have it done by a professional so you get the results you want. The color of your hair to go to a lighter color is tricky and done wrong will not only be disappointing but can harm your hair.

I am an eighteen-year-old female, single as of this month. I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of the month. Our relationship was awkward and I'm positive that 96% of it was my fault and here's why:

I am absolutely, utterly petrified of having sex. Sex itself doesn't bother me when it comes to romance novels, but it's when I'm involved is when I begin to panick. I realized this after I went to the doctor and she told me she was going to put something in my vagina. At first, I thought it was no problem, but when she actually sat me down on the table, I started to freak out and basically had a panick attack. It was the worst experience of my entire life. I felt completely idiotic afterwards as well, but no matter how hard I tried to calm down, I couldn't do it. She linked it to the fact that a girl inappropriately touched me back in middle school, but I personally don't think it has anything to do with that. Mostly because the incident was my fault. I was a stupid, curious kid. My doctor told me she wanted me to do it myself before she could do anything and she's giving me two months to overcome this fear and I haven't gotten one step close to doing it. Even thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I was never bothered by any needs for sex before. I'm not easily aroused and I don't venture to do it either. And even during the moments that I am, I never touch myself there. I'm too terrified, and I can't even explain why. I suppose I'm expecting pain or I just hate the thought of something being inside me.

What I'm asking is if there is a way to overcome this fear by then? She suggested a couple very good psychologists, but I've already had a few in the past that have never really helped and right now, the money situation within my family is pretty bad. I've already talked to my mother and she said there was no way we could afford something like this. Is there anything I can do to overcome this fear or should I just return to my life of abstinence? I actually highly value my solitude, so it's not like living life without sex is really anything too terrible, right?

Lets talk first about getting you some help. You are 18 and live at home. If your parents are working and their employers have EAP plans, most employers do if they have group health insurance, then you have access to psychological help. Every plan is different as to how many visits is allowed under EAP.

After EAP the medical insurance should kick in if the the therapist supplies the insurance company with a treatment plans and request a specific number of visits. Co-payments may or may not apply depending on you parent insurance plan. While visiting under EAP the therapist bills the EAP plan directly and their should be no money exchanged between you.

Now as to your phobia, yes it is a phobia, concerning sex and having anything inserted in your vagina. Question: Can you or do you use tampons? If you do then your phobia is just that, things that are somehow foreign or seen as dirty or smutty to you. This would be something that would build up over a period of years and could lead back to how strongly your parents were in teaching you about sex and letting anyone touch you before marriage. This is were a good sex therapist comes in. Identifying just what the trigger to your phobia is and redirecting that trigger.

You are not by any means abnormal or crazy. This phobia has a lot to do with how you were raised and possibly a trauma you endured as a young child that you may not consciously remember. Through therapy and trust in the therapist you can and will find out where the problem lies and fix it if you want to.

The key phrases here are; trust in the therapist and wanting to fix things. Keep in mind anything you speak about with your therapist stays with the therapist. Even in progress notes to the insurance companies therapist speak in general terms not specific. Your confidentiality is never violated. Even in legal proceedings courts are very reluctant and almost always refuse to order medical records released. That is how confidential medical records are.

If your parents employer have an EAP plan, have mom or dad check with their employers as this is something many people don't even know they have available. If they do have an EAP program call one of them and speak with a referral counselor. Here again your confidentiality is never broken. You tell them what you need and they will find someone near you.

Then make an appointment to see the therapist and as hard as it is to do; be open and honest with the therapist.

By the way there is nothing wrong with masturbation. According to a recent survey 85% of us do so, including married couples. Masturbation is also part of sexual foreplay though then it is called mutual masturbation where one partner masturbates the other.

My father had stomach cancer at the age of 46 .he was so young..he had his stomach removed so that the cancer won't spread.im a mbbs student .i know what patients who had their stomach removed due to various medical reasons suffer..I know my dad is suffering.. I feel bad. I am depressed.i want to remove the pain from my dad. He is such agreat man.he works hard for my family.he is also a doctor.please help me.

It would be grate if we could take someones pain from them simply because we love them or just want them not to be in pain, even for just an hour or so. Unfortunately you know as well as I do that that wanting to and being able to are two different things. There are somethings that at this present time no matter how much we want to do something. That something is just beyond our ability to do so.

Another way to look at this is that your dads a fighter. As a doctor he knew what he was looking at by having his stomach removed and having a chance at life at whatever the cost. Being able to be there for you no matter what the pain he must suffer so he can be there with you and for you. I think that makes your dad a very special kind of person. Many others in his position may have just given up and let the cancer take them rather than fight to survive and be with their families.

I know your dads pain hurts you. I can also tell you as I too suffer from a chronic pain disorder, that the last thing your father wants is for you to suffer for him or even with him. I am also sure he does not want you getting depressed over his decision.

You getting depressed is not helping him. Your dads a doctor and I'm sure he is a good one as well. Do you think you can hide your depression from him very long. I don't think you can and you being depressed will only add to his pain.

I know this for a fact because I have been there. Now compared to the pain your father is feeling mine is nowhere like it. But as I think you know pain is measured on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst pain you have ever felt. When I see my wife or son feeling sorry for the pain I'm in it doesn't help me it actually hurts me more. For their pain cause me to get more stressed which raises my pain score. The same is true for your dad.

I didn't have a choice, someone ran into me when I was stopped for a light. I could have been killed but I wasn't. Your dad made and educated choice. The best thing you can do for him is not to get depressed. TO be the person he wants you to be which is the person you desire to be. To be their with him, help him when he asks for help and to be supportive when he needs support.

You being depressed for him or over him will not only hurt you but it will hurt him as well. This is a hurt you can control. Just remember that your dad made the choice to live and be with you and your family. Help him do just that by not getting depressed over a situation he chose so he could be with you.

i realy lovemy boyfriend and he loves me more than i do.i really want to let him take my virginity becase hes the one i love.he never ask me for sex.but i really want to do it with him.hes gonna use a condom and he always tell me that he wants me to be his baby mother and his wife.i want to get pregnant for him because hes always there for me.we've been togeter for 7 months now,if i get pregnant i know he will be there for me and the baby no matter what....anyways i really want an good advice what shoulhd i do.nd i'm from
barbados

Hi,

I'm old enough to be your grandfather yet I'm not going to lecture you on the evils of YOUNG teenage sex. Instead what I would like to do is talk to you about life; especially the many teenage years you have ahead of you.

Yes; I understand you are in love with this boy. This is a first love. Here in America and probably where you live parents call this puppy love. For it is the first of what will most likely be many times you will fall in love before you find your future husband or wife in the case of a boy. This is what teenage life is supposed to be all about. Dating and having fun, going to parties, learning about makeup and making out. All that stuff that teenagers do.

If you give up your virginity to this boy you come to regret it. I'm not saying you should not or will not have sex before your married. Even in your country many or most of your parents and even your grandparents did not go to their wedding beds virgins. Most likely you will not either.

At age 13 you are truly to young to be having sex. You may possess a body of a women but your body is still developing; including your reproductive system. This includes your vagina's ability to stretch and accept a penis. You need to allow your body to mature some more before you attempt having sex or it will be very painful for you and not much fun.

Also if your boyfriend is pushing you to have sex with him it is not because he loves you. Not in the way you love him; it is because he lusts for you. There is a big difference. Puberty, which you and he are both going through, is making him or causing him to find an outlet for his sexual energy. This causes young boys to confuse love and lust.

He does not love you in the same manner you love him, this I am sure of as even though I am as old as I am, I was once his age. Once he gets what he wants from you he will like most boys his age he will most likely move on to another girl your age to see if he can score with another virgin. It is a game all boys play to see how many virgins they can have. The more virgins they deflower the more manly they are looked at by their friends. This game has gone on for ages and I'm sure it is played by the boys in your country as well as other countries that I am aware of.

My advice is not to have sex with this boy. If he is pushing or begging you to have sex with him he doesn't love you in the same manner you love him. Find a boy that is 13 or 14 to date. Give yourself time to grow and mature before you decide to have sex.

You will know when the time is right. When it is you will not have to write us to ask about it you will know the time is right. For now I would say your body needs at least 2 to 3 years to mature before you can enjoy your first sexual experience. Before then it could be a very painful experience for you.

I'm 19 years old, turning 20 in a few months.
I feel as though as my father is extremely controlling and is having a negative impact on me.
For reference, he has been diagnosed with depression for a while now.

Basically, I am an adult now and I'm still treated like a child. My Dad gives little importance to my opinions and feelings, and is always pushing his beliefs and his opinions on me.

He is also always trying to control EVERY THING I do. For example, today is Good Friday, and the day is absolutely gorgeous outside.

I want to go outside by the lake, take a walk(It's about a 15 minute walk), read a good book, sit, relax and even meditate but my Dad says I can't. It's not like we have plans for today, we aren't seeing family and we don't celebrate Good Friday.

I`m just extremely fed up with my Dad trying to control me for no reason. I'm doing my best to try and be as respectful as I can given the circumstances so I don't necessarily rebel when he says no or whatever.

But like.. when does it cross the line? And how do I deal with this situation in the best possible manner and respectfully?

I'm entitled to my independence and my right to do what I want. I'm not doing ANYTHING wrong.

I basically have no life, and I don't do much all day. Everything I do is a problem for my Dad. He's just such a negative and draining person, it's hard to be around him.

If I want to go outside? That's a problem, because ''life isn't about having fun.''

If I want to bake? ''Stop doing stupid things. It's expensive.''

If I want to cook? ''Too expensive. Just eat whatever we have.''

If I want to go outside with friends? ''You don't need friends. They're not going to get you anywhere, and you can't trust anyone. Life isn't about having fun.''

If I want to decor the house. ''It's too expensive.''

If I do nothing but sit on the computer all day. ''You're not doing anything with your life.''

Like seriously, what the hell. I can't even DO anything because he always has something to say about everything. Everything he says is SO SO SO negative, that I'm actually frightened that it's going to rub off on me.

Having suffered from depression myself I understand where you are coming from and how you feel. I also understand the pain of depression and how your dad is feeling. My one hope is that since he is diagnosed with depression he is getting the proper help.

If your father is aware of his diagnoses and not getting help then there is no excuse for him. Depression does not go away by itself. It requires help from qualified medical professionals and medication.

Your father is the way he is because of the depression. Depression hurts both physically and mentally. By trying to control everything in our world we think we are controlling our pain. That is not what is happening because by trying to control everything we create more stress on ourselves which creates more pain, which deepens the depression.

I've explained all this to you so that you understand the how and the why of your fathers illness. Also depression is hereditary so you have to watch for the signals in your own life.

Now how do you protect yourself or help yourself in your current situation. The best way would be to get your father to the proper doctors. The doctors he should be seeing are a Board Certified psychiatrist for medication and a psychologist for talk therapy.

No your dad is not crazy but the hormones that control mood and depression are secreted into the brain. A psychiatrist is the best doctor to treat this illness. A Board Certified psychiatrist has all the proper training and fellowships and is the most qualified to help.

The talk therapy helps to find what is causing the stress that is causing the depression. Once that is found the psychologist will help your dad to find better ways to deal with this stress.

You are right about the fact that you are legally an adult. I say legally because under the law you are an adult. To your father you are still just a child and as a female all fathers see their daughters as their little girls even when they are all grown up and have families of their own. This and the fact that you may still not be quite ready to leave the nest and fly on your own.

What you have to do is very politely and calmly explain to your dad that you are working your way into the adult world. Be it through college or through working. That you are an adult now and he cannot control you they way he did when you were in high school. TBe it work or school you have certain responsibilities now that have to come before him and you cannot allow him to have the control over your life he once had. As you tell him this make sure to assure him that you love him and respect him. That you will do your best to honor him but there will be times when your needs are going to have to come first.

My son had to do this with me. It took time for this to sink in and several joint visits by the two of us to my therapist but it finally got through to me.

Being a controller is a depressive persons hold on the world they live in. Without the control they become, I'm not sure how to phrase this so it is understandable. But without the control we become lost in the world we live in and it becomes a dark place.

I'm past that place now and never want to go back there. While your there you don't realize it is the wrong place. You need to help your father realize there is a better place for him to be outside his depression. A far happier place one that will allow him to enjoy his daughter and hopefully his grandchildren some day.

I hope this all made sense to you. It is hard to explain you really have to have been there and no you don't want to be there.

there is this guy and we touch and show each other "things" and within the next few days Im going to show him how i finger myself and hw wants me to suck his d*** and he wants to finger me should i let him and if so how should i act????

Without knowing your age it is hard to answer your question. It is why we ask for your age. In a private message such as this one only me and the webmaster can see your information and question. When asking for help with anything the more information you disclose the better the information you will get in return.

Why am I asking for your age? It is a little complicated. It is not that the answer varies any in many cases, although with your question your age does decide on how many of us will answer you. You age tells us your level of maturity as well as the manor of your writing skills.

By your writing, the fact that you use the word "things" rather then their names or slang references tells me you are most likely a very young teen or preteen. I am of course making an assumption and could be wrong. If I am right my advise is as follows.

I would not do what your planning. You are, if of the same age, both to young to be engaging in this type of activity. You should not, at what I assume your age to be, showing different parts of your body to boys. By this your I mean your Breasts and Vagina. If he is older than you by more than a year maybe two then you probably should not be dating him at all.

The rule of thumb for any girl at almost any age is. If you fear bringing this boy home to meet your parents, especially your dad. Then you two should not be dating for you know your parents will object. Once you reach 18 you can if you like forget this rule.

For now keep your clothes on and if you want to touch each other do so on the outside of your clothes. This keeps you both safe from going further than either of you should.

IF you want better advice than this write back giving me your ages.

My former employer withheld taxes from my paycheck because I filled out and submitted a W4 form to her. Now she is trying to issue me a 1099. She claims that the paperwork was handled incorrectly but after talking with an IRS rep. I know that is a lie. The IRS issued me a substitute W2 for now and I will be sending them an SS8 form. But I don't know what to do or know what to expect. Do I need to consult with a tax attorney? Any other helpful info would be much appreciated.

The IRS SS8 Form is used to explain to the IRS why you have not filed the 1099 issued by your employer. It asks for documentation. In your situation you will attach the substitute W-2 the IRS issued you as well as I would suggest any payroll stub you have supporting your claim that your employer withheld taxes from your paycheck.

I'm not a tax lawyer but I would guess since the IRS has issued you the substitute W-2 they are aware now of the situation and investigating your employer for possible tax fraud or other charges.

On the SS8 form there is space for you to explain why you are filing this form. Just be straight and tell it like it is. "I filed a W-4 with my employer and they withheld taxes, copy of 2012 pay stub attached,(if you have one)." "I contacted the IRS and was issued a substitute W-2, attached to this form" (Make sure to maintain a copy of the substitute W-2 for your records)

You can if you feel you need more assistance or reassurance contact the IRS again to see if there is anything else you need to do to protect you from any further tax liability. Today's IRS is a more user friendly agency. I feel they have given you all the help you need to to avoid any further liability. They will I am sure be looking into why your employer withheld payroll taxes, where those monies sent to them and if not why not. If they were sent to them why they issued you a 1099.

Of course if you need reassurance, consulting with a tax attorney is your option. First consultations are usually free. As to whether you need to engage the attorney? I would just make him/her aware and ask that a file be opened in the event you need his or her help.

thanks, again, the main thing I worry is how my wife will probably be a changed person after going through that and will now have trouble finding future employment.

she asks not to send any money to her because she does not us to use it on her in there. Do you think I should still send some anyway? Or will she not really need it you think?

You will not be able to send money directly to her what you will be able to do is to send or place money into her canteen account. Each institution handles the canteen differently so you'll have to check with the institution she is being held in. The canteen account is where any money she Earns is placed. The canteen is where she can purchase things like snacks and whatever else institution allows her to have in her cell to make prison life more comfortable.

20/f last year I was raped by my ex boyfriend, long story short we drank (he led me to believe he was drinking but in actuality I was the drunk one,) when we went to bed I remember waking up to him doing the act. To this day I have not told anyone except a good friend, and my new current boyfriend (of almost 9 months) at the very beginning of our relationship, but I toned town the story a bit. Nobody actually knows everything that happened, and I can't seem to get over it. I have brought it up once to my boyfriend, and he consoled me (as well as wants to kill my ex) but I feel badly about the topic if it is to come up again, I don't want him to think I still think about my ex. Should I be over it by now? It makes me feel dirty and sick to think about it, I could cry.
Thank you

I am terribly sorry for what you have gone through. No one should have to deal with being raped.

First the facts: Your ex cannot contend you consented;you were drunk. In the eyes of the law someone who is drunk or under the influence of any mind altering substance is not able to give consent. This is the law and you can charge him with rape, even today however long ago it may be as long as the statue of limitation has not run out. In most states this is 5 years.

Now as for rape itself. Rape is not something you get over. You have been violated in the worst possible way a women can be. What can be done is through proper counseling with a rape counselor, a psychologist, we can help you deal with this is away that you can learn to put this behind you and move on with your life. To live a normal life even though you have been raped.

What you feel right now is appropriate for what has happened to you. You need a sense of closure to feel better. That closure could be to bring formal charges of rape against your EX.

There is a group called RAINN I would like you to contact. RAINN stands for; Rape, Abuse,Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hot line you can call for help. The number is 1-800-656-HOPE. When you dial that number their computer notes your area code and first 3 digits of your phone number to route your call to a crises center near you.

Nothing about the call or the routing is retained by the crisis center unless you request them to retain the information you give them or talk to them about. Their purpose is to help you through what has happened by helping you find the proper professionals to help you. TO offer you the support you need right now and that shoulder you need to cry on as well.

They can answer any questions you may have about charging your ex with rape. What the process is and what you can expect after you file the charges. They can recommend the therapists in your area that are trained to help you. They can offer you far more support than any of us can.

One thing I would like you to remember up front about what has happened. You are a victim. Nothing you did or said caused you to be raped. Your ex is now a criminal and should be dealt with accordingly. He can scream for now to Saint Swizzles day that you consented. Under the law you legally could not consent. Any boy/man old enough to have sex knows this.

You have a good boyfriend now who I believe loves and respects you. Don't chase him away over this. Call RAINN and get the help you need to properly deal with this so you can get on with your life.

they usually come down very hard on the bullying thing in schools these days? Much more than they used to. Also, with so many students in the school I don't think it will cause too much for one specific person.

Also, I will definitely deal with any problem that comes up.

do you know of any specific things I can say to my wife as well to give her some words too?

thanks in advance. Sorry if I sent this twice, I was unsure if I sent it the first time.

I apologize for the delay in answering. I generally only answer questions in the morning and this morning I had things to attend to outside the house.

As to your question. Hopefully your wife is being housed in the local jail rather than a state prison. For a one year sentence it could go either way. If she is in a local jail she could be home much sooner than her sentence calls for due to over crowding. She is a non-violent offender. As such the Sheriff, who is in charge of the jail, has the right to release any prison at his or her discretion prior to the end of sentence. In general they will release non-violent offenders on supervised,unsupervised probation or on home detention with a ankle bracelet.

If your wife is in a local jail and the Sheriff needs to reduce the population your wife would be a candidate if she has been on good behavior while in the jail. So my advice to your wife would be not to cause trouble, to avoid trouble at all cost and to follow the guards instructions without question.

If she is in a state prison she is still eligible for early release though this is totally subject to good time credits she earns. Each prison system has a different way in which they give good time credits which she would have been told about during intake. Here again the advice I gave still applies. The more good time credits she earns the faster she comes home.

My friend is working in S/A, well paid job , all living expenses taken care of , job come to a end , company paid him , but bank in england have frozen account, can't get money to get home, bank need to see him in person , to activate his account , hes stuck in S/A

The only advice I have for this question would be to have your friend check in with the either the British or American Embassy in Saudi Arabia.

First I want to apologize if this is in the wrong section!!

17/m

On sunday, March 17th I had sex with my girlfriend, who is 15.

We did use a condom. While having sex I came in the condom still in her and continued to thrust a bit.. I pulled out and the condom was like 1/3 off my penis. She had white stuff around her vagina. I immediately took off the condom and checked for a break and even filled it with water to see (I'll always fill it with water to make sure there is no breaks) and I was scared because this was our first time together. We both have had other partners. She said she didn't know if she orgasmed or not. The next day on the 18th I gave her a morning after pill to just be cautious. She said she was not ovulating.

I looked up when she was suppose to be ovulating and it was the 13th to the 15th or something like that. It was up till the 15th I just don't remember the start date. Tomorrow (Wednesday March 26th) she is suppose to get her period. Today she said her boobs have hurt really bad and has been craving water. I am very worried about this because I can't have a child. I just got a new car and make payments on that and I go to college in a year. Our parents would be very upset with us. Plus I don't want any charges filed on me.

I am really scared and nervous. What are the odds she is pregnant? She is starting to get nervous and stuff too.

I need help and advice.

The morning after pill is usually very effective in preventing pregnancy if taken within 24 hours after sex. The while stuff you saw may not have been semen but rather her discharge from orgasm whether she felt she had one or not.

If you really want to know if she is pregnant is to buy her a home pregnancy test kit and follow the package directions on when is the best time to test and how to use the kit. If the results are negative as I think they will be then you both can relax.

She may not get her period on time or may even miss her period as a result of worry. The stress of worry has been known to throw of the delicate cycle of a young women's menstrual cycle. IF this happens test again. If you still get a negative result you can wait an see if her period arrives late or until her next period is due. Or she can make an appointment to see her GYN.

She is 15 years old and can make this type of appointment without parental consent or knowledge under a Federal Law called HIPPA. This law gives her total privacy over her reproductive system, you too over yours, since age 14.

Parents cannot be told of the reason for a visit, what you are examined or treated for which includes prescribing of birth control or having an abortion. To be told of the reason to anyone requires written permission to the doctor by you. Parents cannot be in the exam room with you during the exam unless you give permission.

Have her take a test or see her GYN for the best answer to your question.

it is safe to do sex on next day after the completion of periods???????????

This depends on what you mean by safe? If you mean unprotected sex the answer is no. It is never safe to have unprotected sex regardless of when your last period was for the purpose of birth control.

While most women ovulate during the middle two weeks of their period. It is possible to ovulate at any time during your cycle including during your period. About 20% of women fall in to the category of women who ovulate outside the middle two weeks of their cycle you could be one of them.

While there is a kit that you can purchase at the drug store to find out when you ovulate or are most fertile. It is never good, if you are not married or in a long term relationship, to have unprotected sex. Not just to protect against pregnancy, condoms when worn properly protect against many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

You did not give your age so a little word of advise. If you are sexually active you need to be responsible. That means being on birth control, which if your over 14 you can obtain without parental permission under a Federal Law called HIPPA. This law, which you can google, gives you complete control and privacy over your reproductive health once you reach the age of 14. You can ask your doctor for birth control and see you doctor in total privacy when visiting a doctor for anything concerning your reproductive system.

You parents cannot be told of these visits or what you are examined or prescribed for without your written permission.

Being responsible also means having the male wears a condom. In my day as a young teenager the girls would tell us; "no rubber, no lover." It is a good thought to keep in mind and to use when your boyfriend wants unprotected sex.

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