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i asked a question about, 2 days ago about weather i should be sexually active... how do I tell him NO without him dumping me?
i asked a question about, 2 days ago about weather i should be sexually active...i have to come to realize that i shouldn't, but theirs one thing. we have been together for 5 months as of Thursday. But, I'm only 13 and hes only 14, and wants to have sex. I've told him multiple times that i don't want to but he continuously talks about it. And he seems to get irritated when i say no. i don't want to break up with him, nor do i want him to break up with me...how do i tell him no so that he finally stops talking about it, without getting irritated? HELP!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
sex is something to be enjoyed and i am so not judging here it is an amazing experiance for most people but for some they are just not ready some may never be ready tell your boyfriend that he should try masturbation to satisfy himse;lf but when you are not around so you don't feel insecure just tell if when your ready and ask him to wait for a while.
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This really is the big issue behind all the sound advice telling you to wait until you're ready, don't be pressured etc isn't it? The fact that the relationship depends on you 'giving in'? He IS putting pressure on you. He's the one who should be listening to advice really, telling him it's not good form. Now a lot of guys play this card with no intention of seeing it through. The only way to find out is to call his bluff, and see if it is a bluff. So you need to tell him you like him, you want to continue the relationship but you are NOT going to consent to sex until you're good and ready, however much he sulks or threatens a break-up. OK, you might lose him. In which case he simply wasn't the right guy. The right guy will want to have sex with you too of course. But when you're ready and happy about it. That's the big difference. Good luck mate, you'll find his true motive...if it's just sex...and you're not ready for sex right now...move on.
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I think I answered your original question. In my response to you I said something to the effect that his love for you is not like your love for him. Boys confuse love and lust.
What you are now righting confirms that he does not love you in the way you love him. His constant pushing you to have sex with him even though you have said no confirms this. No means no you should not have to justify your reason or constantly be pushed to have sex once you have told him no. In actuality what he is now doing from a legal stand point is sexually harassing you.
From my point of view he sees you not as a girlfriend but a sexual object. I honestly believe that if you were to give in he would shortly there after move on to another girl. Boys, especially young boys are very fickle that way.
Tell him one more time that you do not want to have sex with him or anyone else at this time in your life. If he can't accept that go find a new girlfriend to try with. Fact is as my mother would have told you; "Their are plenty of fish in the sea, rebait your hook and go fishing again."
I will tell you this; he will not be you last boyfriend. You will have many more during high school and college before you find the man you want to marry. You do not need a boyfriend pressuring you to do something you do not want to do. Let him go for you can do better then him.
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Ok well, you have to tell him no straight up. Tell him you feel like you're too young and not ready to become sexually active.
Now, if he breaks up with you over something like that, he is a pig. All he ever wanted was sex from the relationship. If he does stay with you, then you know he respects you.
It's understandable that you don't want him to break up with you and you don't want to break up with him but if he really is only in this for sex, why be with him? If he keeps pressuring you, it's going to make you uncomfortable and you won't be happy with the relationship.
If he is a good guy, he will understand and he will stop. He is being a bad boyfriend if he keeps doing this to you. You both have to be completely wanting it to be able to enjoy being sexually active. Tell him no and tell him to stop talking about it.
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Listen, your doing the right thing by waiting. You guys are still very young, and not every teen relationship lasts. Sure some do, but you shouldnt be taking the chance at this age. Just simply tell him the truth. that you feel that your both too young and you'd rather wait.
you said your scared to tell him, because if you do, he may break up with you. then thats not the right guy for you. The right one would wait because he loved and cared about you! you shouldnt be worried about telling your boyfriend that. think about this...
yes you both are attracted to each other and are both into one another, but what do you guys really have in common? Are you two even compatible? A lot of teens get confused between finding someone attractive and actually liking them. the choice is yours in the end. but make sure he doesnt force you into it. your stronger than you think! good luck.
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You might not be able to tell him the truth AND keep the relationship.
You'll never know until you tell him the truth about what you do (and don't) want.
Sometimes two people don't want the same things from a relationship. When that happens, the best thing those two people can do, is end the relationship.
If a sexual relationship is the ONLY kind of relationship he wants to have right now, then what you want, and what he wants are incompatible.
You do need to suck it up and tell him No. Tell him "No, not now and No, not in the near future either."
If sex isn't something you are ready to consider, you owe him that much honesty.
And if he breaks up with you, it'll hurt like hell, but it'll be a good thing really.
Better that the relationship end, than he turn into an abusive pig who insults and bullies his girlfriend into having sex with him when she doesn't want too.
Better the relationship end, than you live with that kind of blame and cruelty, and end up making choices you regret.
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