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I can't stop thinking about the past
All I think about non stop is the past and regrets over the past. All I keep thinking about is "I wish I had did this or I had done that" or "I wish I had talked to that person or that person" or "I wish I had participated in this or that activity". That is all I think about. Hell, next year from now, I will probably be thinking the same way about right now! how can I stop regretting over the past or longing for the past and focus on now? I just can't do it. I am 21 year old by the way
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm 20 (almost 21) by the way..
and i totally understand what youre talking about. but you have to realize, you and i both are at huge turning points in our lives.. its normal to look back on the past and have regrets or wish things went a different way but think about it this way..
without your past, you wouldnt be who you are today and if you dont like who you are right now, you still have time to make changes.. tomorrow is always a new day.
you cant go to the past. you cant change what happened or didnt happen. you cant take back things you wish you could. you just cant. dont look back constantly because youre not going that way.
and i know, youre probably like.. well that doesnt help me at all. but you need to re-train your brain into thinking about the future so every time you start to think about the past.. just tell yourself no. now now now. and think about what youre doing in the next hour like school, work, driving somewhere, running errands.
this is just a stage.
it wont be like this forever.
trust me, everyone goes through this, like i regret so much shit, like ex bfs, bad friends, etc. but it will get better. maybe start writing these things in a journal so that it can be out of your head and on paper instead. that could help?
good luck ! xxo.
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I actually do understand where your coming from with your question.
We can't live in the past. We can't go back and fix anything that was done wrong, relive what was done right or for the most part participate in somethings we missed out on. What we can do is use the past to guide us through today and tomorrow. These are the days we have control over what we do or how we do things.
We may find away to participate in something we missed out on. We can relive something we enjoyed but may find out that as an adult it is not the same. The saying that you cannot go home again sort of applies to these situations.
There is nothing wrong in thinking about the past as long as it is not an all encompassing occupation that keeps you from moving forward with your life. If this is what you are telling us then you need to find professional help, a therapist, to talk with and find out why you cannot let go of the past. A therapist, a psychologist will help you move from the past to the present and beyond.
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Everyone has regrets and wish they couldve done more, trust me theres so much ive wanted to do. But you know what its okay cause youre still REALLY young! Its your time to start doing something now. To start taking risks and doing all the things you want to and the way you want to so that you dont have to say oh I shouldve done more...when you could be doing it right now. You know how you feel when you know youve missed out on oppurtunties and didnt do anything , why make urself feel that way again ? You'll always have regrets but when you have the time, you should start doing things now so one day you can look back and say, damn im really glad I did all that. So stop worrying about the past, you cant get the back. Just focus on today, what do you want to do today? Where do you wanna go? Who do you wanna be with? And when you figure that out you go and do it and have the time of your life and your life will be better than ever. All those mistakes and regrets are supposed to happen so we learn from them and try not to let it happen ever again, so why r u letting it happen again??? Do something! Be happy! Do all the things you want to do. Go make stuff happen for yourself and then just think about those things and how youre happy about how youre doing things that you wanna do now instead of torturing yourself over the past. You have that power to do what you want..go do it! Hope that helps
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Don't worry. I'm the same way, and I'm 13! The thing I do is just thinking about now, like what's going to happen in the future, like the day I get married or the day I finally go off to college to escape my middle-of-nowhere town. It is fine to remember things in the past like a good memory but we must not obsess over past events, especially bad ones since it may bring back bad vibes. Once, there was this boy I really liked and I never had the nerve to talk to him all year, and three days before the last day of that grade he talked to me and told me he was moving, and that he considered us friends. I didn't ask for his number, and he left the state and hasn't ever came back. I was depressed all summer long until my mom asked what was wrong and I told her about him, and she asked whether it mattered or not. Guess what I said after realizing that I had wasted my time for the past year or so? I said it didn't. And everything turned out fine for me, if you get this in your head, I'm pretty sure it will for you :D. Try that activity you always wanted to try, or a totally new one, meet new people, go into town at least once a week, be fearless!
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Well you have to keep moving forward. In life we always get these once in a lifetime opportunities to do things and sometimes we miss out on them. When you focus on the past and you forget about the future, then you're missing out on more opportunities. The thing is to keep moving forward with you're life and learn from your mistakes and you're regrets. The past is the past and there's nothing you can do to change it. I believe everything happens for a reason and a purpose. Your still young. No doors have slammed in your face just yet. So keep living. And if your usually a shy person, try being more active. Go to a party once in a while. Your future is not over so start living in it.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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