about

Hi, I'm Courtney. I want to become a pre-school teacher :] and I've been though a whole heck of a lot, so feel free to ask me anything, i'll do my best to help ! xxo.
"i refuse to sink."

advice

I broke up with my current gf and I'm trying to get back with my ex. But.....the problem is I think my ex has a bf now but I know she'd get back with me because I know she still loves me even though I fucked things up...... Should I send her flowers? A letter? I feel like texting her just isn't the right way to win back her heart.....and my current ex is crazy attached... How can I get her to stop? It's my first year of college and we all go to the same school.. Help!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for answering a little late.. Well ! You can definitely try to get back in her life. It's probably going to take more than one try depending on what happened between the two of you.. But you never know what could happen ! You could text her.. But you're right, maybe a letter would be better and more sincere.. Girls love letters ! And I mean before you go sending her flowers, try the letter approach first.. You said she goes to your school ? Leave it on her car window with a flower or something.. That'd be nice ! If you really miss her, your going to have to work for it and apologize for whatever you did.. It'll probably take more than one time but let me know how your attempts go ! Good luck ! xxo

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It's not that I don't like her, I do. It's just that I don't care what happens in the relationship. Is this relationship unhealthy or unfair to her? P.s. I'm a guy and 16

if you dont care what happens in the relationship, youre not really invested in it. youre only 16.. youre still so young and its normal to feel this way because youre not taking it too seriously yet.. like, its not as if youre thinking about marriage yet.
so if you just want to have fun, have fun and date.. but whatever you do, dont just lead her on. you like her, so you can either try it out or break it off if you really think it is going no where.. and be honest with her ! if you dont know what you really want right now let her know, gently.. maybe later on you could try it out again !
good luck ! xxo.

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All I think about non stop is the past and regrets over the past. All I keep thinking about is "I wish I had did this or I had done that" or "I wish I had talked to that person or that person" or "I wish I had participated in this or that activity". That is all I think about. Hell, next year from now, I will probably be thinking the same way about right now! how can I stop regretting over the past or longing for the past and focus on now? I just can't do it. I am 21 year old by the way

I'm 20 (almost 21) by the way..
and i totally understand what youre talking about. but you have to realize, you and i both are at huge turning points in our lives.. its normal to look back on the past and have regrets or wish things went a different way but think about it this way..
without your past, you wouldnt be who you are today and if you dont like who you are right now, you still have time to make changes.. tomorrow is always a new day.
you cant go to the past. you cant change what happened or didnt happen. you cant take back things you wish you could. you just cant. dont look back constantly because youre not going that way.
and i know, youre probably like.. well that doesnt help me at all. but you need to re-train your brain into thinking about the future so every time you start to think about the past.. just tell yourself no. now now now. and think about what youre doing in the next hour like school, work, driving somewhere, running errands.
this is just a stage.
it wont be like this forever.
trust me, everyone goes through this, like i regret so much shit, like ex bfs, bad friends, etc. but it will get better. maybe start writing these things in a journal so that it can be out of your head and on paper instead. that could help?
good luck ! xxo.

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i like a boy and i know he likes me back should i make the first move or should he

make the first move !
if he likes you, he'll appreciate it! some guys get tired of always making the first move. be different :)
xxo.

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So i danced with a guy who i am very close with and also like(alot). We slow danced for about an hour but my friends were constantly signaling him to kiss me. We laughed it off and talked singing the lyrics to the songs they were playing, he flirts with me constantly but he flirts with everyone else, guys and girls its just part of his personality. but a couple of times we would be faceing each other and our eyes would lock, but i am very shy so i ended up looking away everytime. Then after the dance he got really nervous around me and started avoiding me like crazy. Did he try to kiss me and did i blow it? Any suggestions on how to fix this?

I remember those days.. :)
but anyways, he probably did want to kiss you, but was just as shy and nervous about it as you were. he probably got even more nervous about it when your friends kept trying to get him to make the first move.. it puts a bit of pressure on him, yuh know ?
but no, i definitely dont think you blew it. if anything, you probably made him realize he has feelings for you.. which is why he was kind of avoiding you towards the end since he didnt kiss you.. after everyone was making a big deal about it.
it will all blow over, trust me. but you should definitely ask him about it! tell him how much of a good time you had with him and that you want to hang out again.. alone this time so that your friends dont make either one of you feel awkward again. maybe even apologize for what your friends were doing and just see how the conversation goes :) but communication is key!
good luck ! xxo.

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well me and this guy are very close we`ve already seen each othe pretty much naked we grab each other all the time(and its veryserious) so yesterday i sucked his dick gave him a hand job & we humped IN THE DARK and my boobs were all in his face...we both want to go alltheway to the sexual level but we don` really know how to start off what should we do???

the very first thing you should do is get protection.. whether its condoms or birth control or both (even better) .. no glove, no love.
so, always be prepared.
and i dont know how old you both are, but you should probably make sure that this is something you both are very sure about and that you are being 100% safe and that youre old enough to handle the consequences like STDs and pregnancy.
once youre completely sure that this is what you want to do, and its not just a heat of the moment thing, get a condom on immediatley. no ifs, ands, or buts. then, youll have to figure it out on your own.. you need to just go with the flow and do what feels right for both of you.. youll probably need to also invest in some lubrication because the first time can hurt very badly for a girl, and this helps out GREAT amounts, you'd be surprised.
but sex is sex. use protection and explore each other.. but be 100% POSITIVE, SAFE, AND OLD ENOUGH, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.
good luck! xxo.

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Im 14/f. Is it possible for me to cum and get orgasms duting masterbating?

yes. you can.. youre at an age where you are starting to become more hormonal, which means you most definitely can.. especially if youre starting to explore your body.
good luck ! xxo.

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Well I've Been Dating My Boyfriend For A Year && He's Only Brought Up The Subject Of Sex Twice && I Feel As If I Need To Lose My Virginity To Him Just To Make Him Happy But I'm Not Ready He's 18 && I'm 15 What Should I Say To Him To ?

Before I answer your question, I just want to let you know, as did the other advice columnists did, this is illegal... keep that in mind.

but to answer your question .. dont have sex with him. you should never have sex just because you feel like youre being forced to do so or even if you feel like you have to keep the person by giving them sex. youre only 15.. sex is a big deal and there are many reprecussions if something goes wrong like STDs, pregnancy, depression.. etc. you have to be 100% POSITIVE that you are READY and WILLING to lose your virginity.
you really should just tell him that youre not ready and that if hes not willing to wait until you are then this is not the relationship for him.
stand up for yourself.
good luck! xxo.

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i have a girlfriend now but we just dont really get along. i honestly miss my ex gf and i dont know what to do because i know she hates me and would never even talk to me. what should i do? should i try and talk to her or apoligize? or just let my feelings go and forget about it?

sorry for getting back to you so late! I've been busy, but I hope i can still help you!
If you dont get along with your current gf, break up with her. theres no point in being unhappy with a person you dont really want to be with.
and if you honestly miss your ex gf talk to her. how do you know she hates you? maybe she doesnt. youll never know if you dont find out, right? like think about it this way, whats better: to not say anything at all to your ex and wonder for the rest of your life if that couldve changed anything and just keep wondering what would have happened if you did actually talk to her OR say something to her, talk to her, reach out and then you wont ever have to wonder about the "what ifs" ... but those are your only two options.
just keep in mind that apologizing is always a great start!
my inbox is always open, lemme know how it goes! good luck ! xxo.

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Okay, I am doing a project at school and its on the titanic. The point is, my partner and I don't get along and I already asked to switch and we cant! Any ADVICE WHAT TO DO??

It IS a school project and your grade is important not only to you, but im sure it is to your partner as well.
unfortunatley, youre just going to have to deal with it for now and make it strictly "business" in a sense. be cordial, friendly, but keep all of your conversations on the project, not your own personal life.. obviously to avoid conflict.
sometimes in life you have to work with people you dont want to or people you dont get along with, so look at this as just a good learning experience and always be the bigger person ! :) good luck ! you can do it ! xxo.

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How long will it usually take for a black eye to go away?

Depends on how bad it is ... Usually a week or more.

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Okay, so me and my friends plus others fraught all last semester, and things have just been settled. I suggested a clique to ensure that we all get along and that our group is tighter and more united-we think there will be much less drama then. We're a group of four girls, and we have different styles. I need names like Flirtatologist or Glossy Posse or something like that. And please, don't tell me that cliques are overrated. I've seen Mean Girls and all the chic flicks, and really, that's what's going on at every school. Thanks!

The fine divine
Fashionista divas
The four-sure crew
The four core
The hot shots
The glam fam

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If you have sex in a shower and a guy cums inside with the warm water on can i still get pregnant?

Yes.
Without protection like condoms or birth control you can get pregnant .. No glove no love.

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I am 9 years old can I have sex

No.
Plain and simple.

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Is it a sin to eat pussy

If you believe it's a sin then yes. If you don believe its a sin, then no.
Good luck xxo

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we know eachother and shes a shy and quiet girl but adorable anyhoo i confessed my love to her and asked her out i think she likes me but idk and she said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship right now cause of school but she said she'll end up having a relationship with me idk what that could mean i thought it meant that either she wants me to wait for her or something anyhoo then i said to her that i would wait for her and she said thats really sweet so i assume she wants me to wait what do you think it might mean?

I think she likes you but she has her priorities right now which is that school comes first.
I think that eventually you will be together with her, but right now it's not going to happen.
Just be patient, wait as long as you can, and then go from there :) I think it'll all work out for you in the end.. It is very sweet of you to wait for her !
Good luck xxo ! Just go with the flow.

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I am 22 years old and have never had sex or have I ever managed to successfully insert a tampon. I have never masturbated by sticking anything up there... and I fear that through not using it, my vagina has closed up. How possible/prevalent is that?

I am only having serious problems with it now because my boyfriend and I have tried to have sex a few times - the first time his penis would just not go in. Whenever he was fingering me it hurt a lot... and recently whenever I have been trying to put in a tampon (I have been using pads since my first period at age 16), it just cannot go in (I don't even know if I am putting it in the right place).

This whole thing is really upsetting me. My boyfriend says he understands and that we will try again but I think he just thinks I am scared - really I am just scared that it will hurt, or that he just cannot get it in...

I am prepared to go see a doctor and see if they can do anything to help me? CAN THEY HELP ME? Or is it too late after so many years of never stimulating/using that area...

I have also tried masturbating recently but I just find it uncomfortable and again nothing seems to fit in my vagina.

So desperate.

I just wanted to let you know that this is basically my situation .. My boyfriend is 22, almost 23 and I'm 20 .. I've always had problems with tampons and when I I actually started using them I had to be super relaxed and even then it was still a struggle .. But ive always had a problem taking them out, it feels like death taking it out. I've also attempted to have spec with my boyfriend and he only managed to get the tip in until I said stop because the pain was excruciating .. Literally excruciating. He also is patient and understands but I'm so frustrated like its not fair..
My suggestion ti you is go to a gynecologist, I'm making an appointment ASAP because I'm convinced I have a separate hymen or something along the lines of that and if not, if I'm normal, I then have to probably go to a sex therapist (to help relax myself and they'll know what to do from this point) but I'm also terrified of the pain that comes from sex and breaking the hymen or maybe hymens.. I also don't masturbate and when my boyfriend tried fingering me, I literally wanted to cry and told him to stop.. I tried going down there myself, and it still hurt., like, what even ?! Super aggravating. But definitely go to a gynecologist because they can help you feel a little better !
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone :)
Good luck ! xxo

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am scared of sayin yes to guys coz i dont wana get hurt by them what shuld i do

If you don't ever get past this fear and actually start dating guys, you'll never give one of them a chance to NOT hurt you. Sometimes life is about taking chances and if you get hurt, it's not the end of the world but you can't think so negatively.. You'll be okay :) just try !
Hope I helped xxo

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We’re both 18 and we’ve been dating for about 7-8 months and it started off brilliantly. Now, I don’t know whether it’s just me or whether something is up between us. He likes to finger me a lot (sorry to put it bluntly) and I like him to do it but he won’t let me return the favour afterwards unless I do it to him at the same time as he's fingering me. I find it hard to do two things at once and I tend to enjoy it less. He used to lay back, let me give him handjobs and stuff & I love giving him handjobs and blowjobs but now as soon as I start touching him, he’ll turn me over and start fingering me which tends to get painful, especially if he’s already been doing it for a while. I’ve told him it hurts and asked him if I can have a break and if I can pleasure him for a bit but he says it’s not fair unless he’s doing it to me at the same time. I know I’m probably not brilliant at it because he’s my first boyfriend but he won’t tell me what he likes and he’s always silent when we're making out so I don’t know whether he’s enjoying it or not (that's something else I'm a bit worried about). It's making me a bit unhappy and it really stops me being in the mood at the time. I do feel lucky to have him want to pleasure me (but just not ALL the time!) Should I just accept it?

Hmm, maybe he feels like he doesn't want to be a burden on you. Like that if you start doing something to him, he has to start doing it to you so that he's not being "greedy" .. Sometimes, when my boyfriend is trying to do stuff to me I stop him because (it hurts) and even when I like it (which I do) I start doing it to him and guide him away from me because I don't want him to think it's all about me. Maybe that's how he feels. Or maybe he just likes pleasing you more.. But if he is hurting you, make him stop. That's never okay. You always want to feel comfortable.
But you definitely need to be straight up and ask him about this. The only way you'll know why he's doing what he's doing is if you ask him yourself. Don't just accept it, fix it ! And the only way to do this is by talking to him ! Communication is key :)
Good luck ! xxo

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Is there any way to unabort a baby after it was just aborted, I changed my mind!

No, that's impossible. That's like trying to bring someone who passed away back to life, it can't be done. I'm sorry.
xxo

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