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What Should I Do Or Say?

Question Posted Friday April 5 2013, 2:33 am

Well I've Been Dating My Boyfriend For A Year && He's Only Brought Up The Subject Of Sex Twice && I Feel As If I Need To Lose My Virginity To Him Just To Make Him Happy But I'm Not Ready He's 18 && I'm 15 What Should I Say To Him To ?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?

adviceman49 answered Saturday April 6 2013, 12:52 pm:

Sex is something two people do because they love and respect each other, not because you feel you need to to make him happy. You will regret having sex with him for this reason alone as well as many others. Losing your virginity for this purpose will be high on the list of regrets.

He is 18 legally an adult. You are 15 an under age minor who cannot legally consent to sex. Having sex with him, even if you consent, is for him the same as if he rapes you. Even if you do not have sex with him depending on the laws in your state he could be charged with statutory rape just by dating you because of the difference in your age.

Some states do allow an age difference forgiveness of 2 to four years in age difference between some one 18 and over and someone under 18. While that may apply towards the statutory rape charge it does not apply towards your being able to consenting to have sex.

If you were to have sex with him and become pregnant. Your parents could charge him with rape since you cannot consent to sex. Depending on sentencing guidelines in your state he could go to jail for from 15 years to 25 years and even life for having sex with you. This all depends on the laws in your state.

Those are the facts. The question is why is an 18 year old dating a 15 year old? The fact that you have been dating for over a year means he was 16+ to your 13+ still to large an age difference at this stage of your life to be dating.

If you were 25 to his 28 no one would be saying a word about the age difference. At his stage in your life there are life experiences that he has already experienced that you have not and need to.

Right now life is somewhat like an algebra problem. You cannot skip over a portion of the problem and expect to get the correct answer. It is the same with this part of your life. There are certain portions of teenage life that must be experienced in order to properly grow and mature. To be able to handle what comes next in life. To do this you need to experience this portion of your life with people your own age.

Question have your parents met this boy? Do they know how old he is?

I do not have a daughter but I did help raise my nieces after their father left. I told then the following about dating. "If you are not willing to bring the boy(s)you date over to meet me then you probably should not be dating them." This is a good rule to follow.

[ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question

lightoftruth answered Friday April 5 2013, 10:20 pm:
You're not ready, you just said so.
You don't lose your virginity when you're not ready. It'll be more enjoyable for both of you if you wait till you are ready.

The other issue here, like the rest of the advice given to you, is why is an 18 year old dating a 15 year old? 3 years isn't a big age different but right now, but at 15 and 18 you both are in different stages in life. It's a bit weird honestly. I'm 18 and if one of my guy friends started dating a 15 year old, I'd find it wrong.
Anyways, not just my opinion but it is illegal. He could get in lots of trouble.

So don't have sex until you are ready. You are very young, so you don't want to end up pregnant. You don't want to deal with any emotional problems either. Your body is also still developing and it will hurt like crazy right now.
Just wait because you don't want to regret it.

[ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question

itdependsonyoux3 answered Friday April 5 2013, 4:43 pm:
Before I answer your question, I just want to let you know, as did the other advice columnists did, this is illegal... keep that in mind.

but to answer your question .. dont have sex with him. you should never have sex just because you feel like youre being forced to do so or even if you feel like you have to keep the person by giving them sex. youre only 15.. sex is a big deal and there are many reprecussions if something goes wrong like STDs, pregnancy, depression.. etc. you have to be 100% POSITIVE that you are READY and WILLING to lose your virginity.
you really should just tell him that youre not ready and that if hes not willing to wait until you are then this is not the relationship for him.
stand up for yourself.
good luck! xxo.

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sistapinkle answered Friday April 5 2013, 3:27 pm:
Uummm........Why is an 18 yr old with a 15 yr old?

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Xui answered Friday April 5 2013, 3:12 pm:
To be honest, A 18 year old shouldn't even be having a relationship with someone your age. The age to even consent is 16 meaning he can get into some legal trouble.

Having sex to make someone happy is the wrong reason. This tells me that you are thinking of giving in. Why? Listen to your body and do what is right fir YOU. You do not have to do anything you don't want to do or not ready to do.

Also this boyfriend of yours is to old for you!

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soph0900 answered Friday April 5 2013, 11:33 am:
If you think youre not ready, Youre not ready!
Leave it at that!

You do not HAVE to lose your virginity to him just to make him happy. If thats all thats going to make him happy, ever, then ditch him- youre better than that!

AND tobehonest, if he's 18 and you are not yet 16, technically its illeagal, cus the age of consent is 16.
Technically, he can go to jail for child abuse as you are still a kid and he's legally an adult.
Thats what you can tell him.

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