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My vagina too small for tampons, let alone for a penis.
I am 22 years old and have never had sex or have I ever managed to successfully insert a tampon. I have never masturbated by sticking anything up there... and I fear that through not using it, my vagina has closed up. How possible/prevalent is that?
I am only having serious problems with it now because my boyfriend and I have tried to have sex a few times - the first time his penis would just not go in. Whenever he was fingering me it hurt a lot... and recently whenever I have been trying to put in a tampon (I have been using pads since my first period at age 16), it just cannot go in (I don't even know if I am putting it in the right place).
This whole thing is really upsetting me. My boyfriend says he understands and that we will try again but I think he just thinks I am scared - really I am just scared that it will hurt, or that he just cannot get it in...
I am prepared to go see a doctor and see if they can do anything to help me? CAN THEY HELP ME? Or is it too late after so many years of never stimulating/using that area...
I have also tried masturbating recently but I just find it uncomfortable and again nothing seems to fit in my vagina.
So desperate.
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I know this was posted a long time ago, but I thought I'd join in the discussion for any future viewers of this thread. I hope sex has become easier for you in the past year and a half, but if not, there could be a problem with your muscles.
You could have hypertonic pelvic floor muscles meaning that your muscles are tighter than they should be which can make anything, even something as tiny as a tampon hurt. This can be caused by long term stress or even a big fall on your bum as a child, among other things. Your muscles just seize up and have to be taught to relax. It can be fixed with dialators, which kind of look like sex toys and they range from the size of a pinky finger to a large penis. You basically go up through the various sizes once you are comfortable with the current size. It calms you down, gets you used to having something inside your vagina, and stretches your muscles. You can go to a pelvic floor physiotherapist who can do physio for your vagina as well as inform and guide you with your dialator use. They will also likely give you static stretches to do at home that stretch your pelvis.
I know all of this because I am a 29 year old small woman who has always had painful sex. I've spent years trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Doctors often chalk it up to "vaginismus" which is just a word for "I know your vagina hurts and I don't know why." Many doctors have no idea what's going on. Countless women are told it's in their heads, their vaginas are too small (um no, they're actually designed to push out tiny humans - ones much bigger than tampons) and actually a very high number of vaginal pain problems (of course not all) can be fixed with physio - no drugs, no injections, no surgery. The problem is there is a great lack of knowledge about this.
Sooooo like I said, I hope you've had some progress and are able to have normal sex. But if you or anyone reading this is having mysterious vaginal pain, I suggest reading up on pelvic floor pain in your search for answers.
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First of all it will never close up so dont worry about that. But i think once you get used to having sex or masterbating it will eventually feel normal.
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I just wanted to let you know that this is basically my situation .. My boyfriend is 22, almost 23 and I'm 20 .. I've always had problems with tampons and when I I actually started using them I had to be super relaxed and even then it was still a struggle .. But ive always had a problem taking them out, it feels like death taking it out. I've also attempted to have spec with my boyfriend and he only managed to get the tip in until I said stop because the pain was excruciating .. Literally excruciating. He also is patient and understands but I'm so frustrated like its not fair..
My suggestion ti you is go to a gynecologist, I'm making an appointment ASAP because I'm convinced I have a separate hymen or something along the lines of that and if not, if I'm normal, I then have to probably go to a sex therapist (to help relax myself and they'll know what to do from this point) but I'm also terrified of the pain that comes from sex and breaking the hymen or maybe hymens.. I also don't masturbate and when my boyfriend tried fingering me, I literally wanted to cry and told him to stop.. I tried going down there myself, and it still hurt., like, what even ?! Super aggravating. But definitely go to a gynecologist because they can help you feel a little better !
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone :)
Good luck ! xxo
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Relax, your normal. There is nothing wrong with you or your vagina. The problem is nerves and fear which is also normal.
Yes I know that you want to have sex but you also fear having sex. One is a conscious thought the other is a subconscious thought. For a women the fear of having sex for the first time is a real fear whether it is a conscious thought or subconscious thought it is still very real.
There is the pain of your vagina stretching to accommodate a penis, the tearing of your Hymen if still intact and the bleeding associated with it.
Having sex the first time for the women is not always a pleasant experience, especially if the man is not patient and tender in taking of her virginity.
There are somethings you can do. I would suggest that for a few times you make love but do not attempt penetration. Just get use to being comfortable in bed with each other, getting use to the feel of each other.
Make sure you find a place that is comfortable, secure from intrusion or discovery. Someplace where you can set a relaxing mood. Then just get comfortable with each other. Tell each other what feels good.
Your boyfriend needs to stimulate you to the point that you are very wet so that you have lubricated enough for him to make penetration easier. This is the object of of what I'm suggesting; extensive foreplay. You may be one of the women who are more clitoral in her excitement than vaginal so make sure to guide your boyfriend to your clit and have him stimulate your clit during foreplay. You will know almost immediately if this is what turns you on.
Once you have spent sometime just doing and getting each other off with just foreplay and you're ready to complete the act. Have your boyfriend use a lubricated condom and use some KY jelly as extra lubricant to ensure proper lubrication.
Then make sure you spend a good deal of time on foreplay as you did in the previous time. When your ready for your climaxes is when you naturally move in for the completion. Hopefully they will make it less painful for you and more fun as well.
The other fear all women have is the fear of pregnancy. While the male should always use a condom the female should also be on birth control. You remove the fear of pregnancy and you remove one of the biggest fears women have.
I hope I have helped
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Don't worry, your vagina can't close up! I know it is really upsetting when you can't put a finger or even a tampon in, because I've experienced this myself.
When you are nervous or worried, your vagina muscles will tense up. This makes it really hard to insert a tampon and is quite a predicament for first-time tampon users. I am 19 years-old now, but when I first tried to use a tampon when I was 16, I couldn't get it in at all. I was so worried, I though something was wrong with me, or I must not have been "putting it in the right place". I felt like there was something in the way. I was really confused! This happened the next few times until I learned to calm down before trying to insert the tampon. It is a lot easier when you're relaxed. However, even sometimes when I am relaxed it is a bit difficult and hurts a little, which is normal.
Also, the shape of the vagina isn't just straight. I discovered I wasn't pointing the tampon in the right way, which why it felt like something was in the way.
This link is pretty good at describing how to insert one, and has informative pictures (although it explains how to insert a tampon with an applicator. If you don't buy tampons with an applicator, you just use your finger to aim and slide it in. Your finger actually ends up going inside the vagina with the tampon. It is a bit messy, which is why a lot of girls prefer to buy tampons with applicators):
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Secondly, if your boyfriend has tried fingering you and it really hurt, you might not have been aroused enough. When we get aroused our vagina produces a natural lubricant, but without that it does hurt to insert a finger/penis/tampon.
Going back to what I said earlier, if you were really nervous when you tried having sex, your vagina might not have been 'wet' enough, or may have been too tense. This is the same for when you tried masturbating. Also, despite what everyone believes, it is not really that enjoyable to masturbate by 'fingering' yourself, I've tried it and gained virtually no pleasure from it. The clitoris is a main pleasure spot for females, maybe try stimulating that area instead.
I am a virgin, but my friend told me her story of her first time: her boyfriend couldn't "get it in", because she was nervous and he wasn't aiming right.
Don't stress, I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you. However, If you are continuously unable to insert a tampon, maybe speak to your doctor or gynecologist about it. Good luck :)
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Relax. Breathe. Exhale. You are 100% fine. Your vagina cannot close up at all or change in such a negative way if nothing has ever entered it. Every virgin would have that problem and none do. So it's not anything of that nature. Anatomically you are fine. Has nothing to do with not masturbating either.
There is actually a condition some women have with vaginal muscles that is actually controlled largely by paralyzing fear of pain that is talked about in the tampon problems insertion guide from Being Girl's site (I think Tampax operates it or Playtex either way...) It's called Vaginismus and it's when the muscles clench tight making it hard to insert. See link: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If that may be the case I would talk to a gynecologist if the article doesn't help as they will have answers and see this lots. It's not easy to learn tampon insertion from everything I read of it but it's easier if you are able to relax. Talk to your gynecologist about inability to insert a penis, tampon, finger, anything.
As far as fingering goes he's being far too rough if it's hurting you. As far as masturbation goes we can't go into detail. You may want to focus on clitoral stimulation and not insertion as lubrication your body naturally produces from that can help in the other area with insertion. And that may be your whole problem sex/otherwise beyond fear lack of lubrication or arousal,
As I said, I'm a male so I'm hoping other females who experienced the same issue will help and add a perspective on this that I can't but I do think the article above will start you searching in the right place for an answer. Also check out Scarleteen as they have sex educators there who you can ask this question too as well www.scarleteen.com and provide answers and tips. It's a site meant for teens and parents and could yield a lot of support.
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