Member Since: August 4, 2014
Answers: 1
Last Update: August 4, 2014
Visitors: 395
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I am 22 years old and have never had sex or have I ever managed to successfully insert a tampon. I have never masturbated by sticking anything up there... and I fear that through not using it, my vagina has closed up. How possible/prevalent is that?
I am only having serious problems with it now because my boyfriend and I have tried to have sex a few times - the first time his penis would just not go in. Whenever he was fingering me it hurt a lot... and recently whenever I have been trying to put in a tampon (I have been using pads since my first period at age 16), it just cannot go in (I don't even know if I am putting it in the right place).
This whole thing is really upsetting me. My boyfriend says he understands and that we will try again but I think he just thinks I am scared - really I am just scared that it will hurt, or that he just cannot get it in...
I am prepared to go see a doctor and see if they can do anything to help me? CAN THEY HELP ME? Or is it too late after so many years of never stimulating/using that area...
I have also tried masturbating recently but I just find it uncomfortable and again nothing seems to fit in my vagina.
So desperate. (link)
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I know this was posted a long time ago, but I thought I'd join in the discussion for any future viewers of this thread. I hope sex has become easier for you in the past year and a half, but if not, there could be a problem with your muscles.
You could have hypertonic pelvic floor muscles meaning that your muscles are tighter than they should be which can make anything, even something as tiny as a tampon hurt. This can be caused by long term stress or even a big fall on your bum as a child, among other things. Your muscles just seize up and have to be taught to relax. It can be fixed with dialators, which kind of look like sex toys and they range from the size of a pinky finger to a large penis. You basically go up through the various sizes once you are comfortable with the current size. It calms you down, gets you used to having something inside your vagina, and stretches your muscles. You can go to a pelvic floor physiotherapist who can do physio for your vagina as well as inform and guide you with your dialator use. They will also likely give you static stretches to do at home that stretch your pelvis.
I know all of this because I am a 29 year old small woman who has always had painful sex. I've spent years trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Doctors often chalk it up to "vaginismus" which is just a word for "I know your vagina hurts and I don't know why." Many doctors have no idea what's going on. Countless women are told it's in their heads, their vaginas are too small (um no, they're actually designed to push out tiny humans - ones much bigger than tampons) and actually a very high number of vaginal pain problems (of course not all) can be fixed with physio - no drugs, no injections, no surgery. The problem is there is a great lack of knowledge about this.
Sooooo like I said, I hope you've had some progress and are able to have normal sex. But if you or anyone reading this is having mysterious vaginal pain, I suggest reading up on pelvic floor pain in your search for answers.
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