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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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We never had sex,we do masterbate. Before she never used to cry except last time she cried. I need advice whether stil she is virgin or lost?
Virginity and masturbation have nothing to do with each other. By today's definition loss of virginity is when the male penis penetrates a vagina. This is when both the male and the female loose their virginity.
Fingering, even if the fingering causes the girls Hymen to break does not mean she is no longer a virgin. A girls Hyman can be lost to many non-sexual activities such as bicycle riding, horse back riding and many track and field activities.
Masturbation is a safe and pleasant way to relieve sexual tension. Something according to a recent survey over 85% of the population engages in.
13/f...well, I've told y'all about how my bf wanted me to have sex with him but i didn't want too, well...i wanted to..and we did. well, it wasn't really considered sex because, i was wearing a pencil skirt...with a thong and he had on khakis..with boxers (obviously) and i took off my pencil skirt and he took off his khakis we started grinding and stuff he kissed down my stomach but..we didn't really do "stuff"...is that considered losing my virginity? and am i considered a slut?
I see a number of different issues here that need to be addressed.
Lets start with the word slut. It is a derogatory word that has no real meaning used to hurt someone. It is a word I dislike an never use to describe anyone and never should be used by anyone to describe themselves. At worst a person could be considered overly sexually active for their age or possibly upbringing or background. To be called a slut, no I do not think that is right and I don't think you have done anything to even come close to be being called one.
Next; to lose ones virginity a boys penis must penetrate a girls vagina. By you description that did not happen. So you are still a virgin.
I realize kids today are shall we say somewhat more advanced then I was when I was your age. Still to be engaging in grinding against someone in your underwear is dangerous. Dangerous from the stand point that once you remove your outer clothing going to the next stem and being nude together is just like a half inch from actually having sex which would cause you to lose your virginity.
As long as you keep your outer clothing on it is that much harder to have actual sex. It is not impossible just harder. Once you start undressing you start down that slippery slope where putting the brakes on becomes harder and harder.
At age 13 you are far to young to be having sex. You have your whole life ahead of you to have sex, don't ruin it by having sex now when both you and your body are not mature enough to enjoy fully the meaning of sex.
If your boyfriend is pushing you to have sex with him. Saying things like, "IF you love me you'll have sex with me," or no sex then I'll find someone who will." He doesn't love you he lusts for you.
Love and lust is something teenage boys get confused driven by rampant hormones caused by puberty. His love will never be the same as yours until he is much older into his late teens or early 20 when he is finished with puberty.
Don't let anyone ever pressure you to have sex with them. pressuring you to have sex with them once you have said no is sexual harassment and should you give in it could be considered rape as you are doing so against your will even if you are consenting. Don't let this happen. NO MEANS NO.
Okay,I'm 13 and my boyfriend will be 16 on July 27 2013. No I'm not going to say "should I have sex with him?" Because we swore off sex at least until I'm 17. What I'm asking is if it's normal. I always get made fun of because of the age difference. I know it's only 3 years but in middle school you usually date someone in the same grade as you. Pleas help me. I don't want to break up with him if its not normal i just was wondering if anyone else is in a relationship like this.
Normal is one thing right and wrong is something else. What really matters her are two things.
First: Have your parents met this boy and do they know the age difference between the two of you. If they have and they do not have a problem then there is nothing wrong with you dating this boy at this time,
The problem comes in when and if you two are still dating in two years when he is 18 and you are 15. Then the law in your state could cause a big problem for him even with your parents consent for you to date him. The age of consent in most states has been raised to 18.
This means even at 15, it is under stood you are not going to have sex, still, you can not legally consent to having sex with him. If he is dating anyone under the age of consent he could be charged with statutory rape.
Which means sex does not have to take place just the fact he is with an under age girl means he can be charged with statutory rape and other offenses as he is an adult at that time. Some states do have an age forgiveness where in if the minor is within a certain age range of the adult; statutory rape is not chargeable. Many of the states have eliminated this provision with the elevation of the age of consent. This is the right and wrong part.
Second is the normal or not normal. Teenage life is a lot like an algebra problem in that there are different phases of teenage life that you are expected to experience. By skipping over these portions of teenage life and dating an older boy you are missing out on a very important part of teenage life that helps you mature into an adult. Just like in an algebra problem if you skip a step there is no way you should get the proper answer.
I cannot tell you if dating this boy is right or wrong, normal or abnormal. This is for you and your parents to decide. I have pointed out what you need to consider in making your decision; the rest is entirely up to you.
You have made a good choice to wait on having sex. To stay within the bounds of the law and to keep him from the possibility of having to go to jail and registering as a sex offender for the rest of his life. I would suggest you put of having sex with him for additional year until you are 18.
im 13 and live with my mother her boyfriend my aunt uncle and 2 cousins . thats to many ppl in 1 house. i have a sister who lives in nc with her friend and she like my sister too they say i should live with them because ive had some personal problems but how do i tell my hatian mother who says no to everything
Unfortunately you have no say in the matter as you are under age. It is entirely up to your mother to decide if you can live with your sister or not. The biggest problem you could face is one of money.
If mom is receiving child support from your dad or SSI money for you; those funds would switch to your sister if you mom allowed you to live with her. If your mom relies on that money for her own purpose, which she shouldn't be, then this will be a tough problem to overcome.
The place to start though would be to ask your sister to talk to your mom. With summer just around the corner maybe your sister could ask your mom if you could spend all or part of the summer with her. Then she could tell mom how much better you like living with her and see if something more permanent can't be arranged.
So we do it every Saturday once... no condoms nothing!
Honestly I never let myaelf make her lose her virginity so she's still a virgin I only insert my organ in there and stop at the right time like at the nearest right moment.
Please you guys let me know if I'm seriously subjected to the possibility of getting AIDS?
I agree with everything Razhie has said. I will add the following though you may not like what I'm going to say.
According to the present definition of virgin or virginity. If a girl has had a penis penetrate her in any way, even if you stop prior to breaking her Hyman, she is no longer a virgin.
According to the present accept definition of virginity: Virginity or virgin for a women is defined as never having her vagina penetrated at all by a penis.
If you have penetrated her vagina at all she is no longer a virgin by present definition.Her virginity has nothing to do with your ejaculation.
I'm 14/F and I don't know what it means when I'm doing this.. I think it's gross myself to masturbate by sticking anything up "there". But sometimes at night I use the leg of a polar bear pillow thing and i rub it different ways over my vagina.. and sometimes in the right way i feel discharge I guess coming out of my vagina and get this really really weird goodish feeling in my body and then it goes away and I keep do it again to get that feeling again and then I fall asleep. What am I doing or feeling and what's happening? I'm sort of worried.
Short answer; your normal and have nothing to worry about. What you are feeling is normal.
First there is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating. According to a recent survey over 85% of us do so. If you do not wish to stick anything up your vagina you do not have too. Your fingers or the bear you are using is more than enough to experience what is meant to be experienced through masturbation and you have.
The discharge and "goodish feeling" you feel means you have had an orgasm. This is the ultimate goal of masturbation which is to release the sexual tension and stress you are feeling. By reaching orgasm you have found that release.
Masturbation is a pleasant and safe way to release sexual tension as you cannot become pregnant by it. You do so in the privacy of your bedroom where you cannot be disturbed so you can find that release and not become further frustrate. You also find out more about your own sexual needs through masturbation by finding out how you like to be touched and caressed so when the time is right to have a true sex life you can help your partner please you.
Ok so I'm only 15/F and I want to get pregnant. I have a job and I'm pretty sure I could take care of a baby. I have all As in school and I just think pregnant bellies are so cute and baby's are too..sometimes I pretend with my sisters baby dolls but my friend Korey who I want to get pregnant by is black and I'm white and that is just not acceptable in my family...
Getting pregnant at 15 is a heck of away to ruin your life and not a great start in life for your baby. You have a job making what a dollar or so over minimum wage.
That will barely keep the baby in diapers and baby food. The baby can't live on breast milk alone for to long. Eventually the baby needs real food, clothes and a great deal of other things including medical and dental care. Something your minimum wage job probably doesn't supply.
Where do you intend to live? Who is going to care for the baby while you're in school or at work? You cannot drop out of school just because you had a baby.
Sure pregnant bellies are cute; they also need proper medical care to have a healthy baby. Who is going to pay for that care? Who is going to pay for the hospital & doctors bill when you are ready to have the baby? Then who is going to pay for all those things your parents have given you as you have needed or wanted as you have grown up?
Sure big pregnant bellies are cute. After the big belly is gone there is a real live person to care for. Something you have not given the proper thought too. Something you are not mature enough to do if you are only thinking about what it would be like to be pregnant.
Just in case you're thinking, well I'll get pregnant, have the baby and the big belly and then give the baby up for adoption. Think again. You have 9 months in which you will become very attached to that baby. Even if you do give it up for adoption it will hurt immensely. You will always wonder about your first born and if it is okay. If the adoptive parents were good to him or her. You will never stop worrying about that child.
Hey guys, so im gonna be 16 next month and my boyfriend is 17, anyway, we have been dating for 8 months now and today he just texted me telling me that his grandma bought him a new car its a really nice one too and he is so excited about it. Ok so im happy for him but to be honest i dont think he needs one, he doesnt even have his license yet! And he doesnt really go many places besides hangng out with me. The thing is, i just dont want him to start getting a big head about it and start being spoiled cuz he seems to be getting alot of things he wants right now:(see, ny ex boufriend when he got a new truck, thats ALL he talked about and cared about it was so annoying and frusterating that i finally dumped him because he was starting to act like a jerk. I dont want the same thing to happen now with my current boyfriend:( what should i do/sat without sounding like an attention-hog?
First guys and cars go together like Ham & Cheese or bacon & Eggs. Its a guy thing that girls somehow just can't understand. To be jealous over a guys feelings for his car is not only being somewhat self centered on your part. You're getting jealous over something that cannot return his affection the way you can.
A boys love for his car or truck, especially his first one is way different than his love or feelings for someone especially his girl. You have nothing to be jealous over and will be far better off if you help him enjoy his new toy then be repulsed by it.
In this way the attention you feel he is taking away from you isn't really being taken away from you as you are sharing and helping him enjoy his car. Something he will like much more than say you complaining he is spending to much time away from you and with his car instead.
Last night I kissed another two guys while drunk, I feel so guilty, but like my boyfriend never wants to do anything like go out an drink and hang out with other people and stuff like that which I like doing, he's more the type to just chill at home and we barley even have sex anymore or hardly even kiss. I just feel like I have no social life, and the way we never had sex or kiss more than just a peck on the lips it drives me crazy and makes me feel like I'm shit or something? So like while being out drunk for the first time in ages and having so much attention from guys I like kissed one and when he left and I was talking to the other guy an he full understood me we ended up kissing too. I don't even know what to do, I really love my boyfriend and want us to work but I feel like I'm not wanted in that kind of way. :(
When a person is drunk there are somethings they are not responsible for, such as kissing other men. Alcohol lowers a persons inhibitions allowing them do do things they normally would not do. This I believe is the case here, so I do not believe you should feel to much guilt over kissing someone.
You say you love your boyfriend yet you also say; "I just feel like I have no social life, and the way we never had sex or kiss more than just a peck on the lips." This is somewhat of a contradiction.
when advising others about attraction and commitment one of the things I write about is the hazard of building a relationship of on sexual attraction alone. As I generally write "there comes a time when you wake up one day and find you need to actually talk with each other." "It is at this time you find out that you have or do not have anything in common to support a relationship other than sex and that has wained."
I cannot say you have that type of relationship or you have even reached that point in your relationship. I would need to have a much deeper discussion with you to make that determination. The fact that you went out, got drunk and allowed your inhibitions to come out. Is a signal to me that you need to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend.
There are also any number of reason for your boyfriends lack of a sex drive. Starting with stress at work, and ending with a physical problem such as low testosterone. Low "T" as it is called requires a blood test by his doctor. Stress at work is something he needs to discuss with you. Both low "T" and stress at work are manageable if he will allow someone to help him.
If his love for you was strictly a sexual attraction that has since wained then you have a problem. If you two have nothing else in common on which to build a relationship on; then it is best that you find out now and end your relationship amicably. Before you are more hurt then you are now.
Every good relationship needs good communication. It appears you two are not communicating your needs to each other. If you cannot or will not communicate with each other your relationship cannot move past where it is now.
The key to any good relationship; be it a love relationship or a work related relationship, requires good communication between the participants to grow and mature.
Well I've Been Dating My Boyfriend For A Year && He's Only Brought Up The Subject Of Sex Twice && I Feel As If I Need To Lose My Virginity To Him Just To Make Him Happy But I'm Not Ready He's 18 && I'm 15 What Should I Say To Him To ?
FIRST AND FOREMOST; YOU DO NOT NEED TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO HIM TO MAKE HIM HAPPY!!!!. SECOND HAVING SEX WITH YOU CAN HAVE HIM SENT TO JAIL.
Sex is something two people do because they love and respect each other, not because you feel you need to to make him happy. You will regret having sex with him for this reason alone as well as many others. Losing your virginity for this purpose will be high on the list of regrets.
He is 18 legally an adult. You are 15 an under age minor who cannot legally consent to sex. Having sex with him, even if you consent, is for him the same as if he rapes you. Even if you do not have sex with him depending on the laws in your state he could be charged with statutory rape just by dating you because of the difference in your age.
Some states do allow an age difference forgiveness of 2 to four years in age difference between some one 18 and over and someone under 18. While that may apply towards the statutory rape charge it does not apply towards your being able to consenting to have sex.
If you were to have sex with him and become pregnant. Your parents could charge him with rape since you cannot consent to sex. Depending on sentencing guidelines in your state he could go to jail for from 15 years to 25 years and even life for having sex with you. This all depends on the laws in your state.
Those are the facts. The question is why is an 18 year old dating a 15 year old? The fact that you have been dating for over a year means he was 16+ to your 13+ still to large an age difference at this stage of your life to be dating.
If you were 25 to his 28 no one would be saying a word about the age difference. At his stage in your life there are life experiences that he has already experienced that you have not and need to.
Right now life is somewhat like an algebra problem. You cannot skip over a portion of the problem and expect to get the correct answer. It is the same with this part of your life. There are certain portions of teenage life that must be experienced in order to properly grow and mature. To be able to handle what comes next in life. To do this you need to experience this portion of your life with people your own age.
Question have your parents met this boy? Do they know how old he is?
I do not have a daughter but I did help raise my nieces after their father left. I told then the following about dating. "If you are not willing to bring the boy(s)you date over to meet me then you probably should not be dating them." This is a good rule to follow.
i have problems thinking about how fat i am and at first it was no big deal, i would just not eat, i would come home from shool having not eaten and then tell my parents that i was full and didnt want dinner. i then started osessing over it and now i get into bed and i cant sleep because i can feel my stomach pulling my body i dont know what to do because if i told my parents they would be so upset and porbably force me to eat but now i cant sleep or eat and i can feel myself getting fatter and fatter and i dont know what to do
From what you have written you sound very much as if you are developing the symptoms of "Anorexia nervosa" which if not treated can be a life threatening disorder. While I am not a doctor I did look this up and what I found was; what you wrote about not eating and feeling as if you are gaining wait comes right out of the text book for this disorder.
You don't say how long this has been going on. Hopefully not long enough to do any serious damage to your body. You need to tell your parents now. They need to take you to your doctor for a complete physical and then to a specialist who works with people with eating disorders.
A close work friend of my wife's lost his daughter, a Prima-Ballerina, to this disorder; She was 21.
I woke up this morning and my eye really hurt, it felt like I got punched. It really hurts to blink/ close it. It hurts so bad it's not swollen from what I can see but I think there is to tiny bumps on my eyelid what's wrong with my eye?
You may have a sty or it could be something else. A warm compress placed over your eye for about 10 minutes should cause the pore to open and relieve the ingrown hair enough to come out.
If not, eyes are considered life and limb problems. Meaning you can and should seek emergency treatment either at a hospital ER or one of the 24 hour clinics that may be available in your neighborhood.
As I said the most common problem would be a sty. If your eye is till bothering you then you should seek emergency treatment. As a life and limb problem if you have no way of getting to a hospital call 911. This is that kind of emergency.
I am 20/f and am a child of divorced parents, which took place when I was 12. Growing up before that, my parents did not get along for as long as i can remember. my dad wasn't around as much as my mother and did not help out as much as her to my sister and I. I know he cared for me and loved me, but I never really felt a true security feeling towards him. My parents would argue and my mom would scream at my dad often, while I was left to sit and listen from my room, I still remember it perfectly. After the divorce, I didnt feel too effected by it and in my head i was relieved to not have to listen to them arguing everyday. But recently, I have realized how much damage it has truly done to me. Throughout my high school years, I gradually became very promiscuous and by the end of high school was known as one of the school's biggest sluts. I am of course very ashamed to admit this, but it was true. I almost felt like I had an addiction to male attention, and still somewhat feel this way. I mostly was the way i was because I wanted someone to care for me and love me, but something always went wrong and they would stop talking to me. it lowered my self esteem tremendously and made me feel worthless. it was a vicious cycle that i never seemed to learn from. I recently just got out of my first relationship which lasted for a year and a half. it was not a healthy relationship. He would verbally abuse me and made me cry excessively, and would even push me into things every now and then or push my head back. but i always dealt with it because i was so desperate for male attention and just wanted to feel loved by a man. its weird because i do have a dad, and he does love me and lives 5 minutes away but..I never make that much of an effort to see him. it saddens me deeply to be with him because he always brings up the divorce and seems very sad..it has been 9 years. and it will never fully be resolved because my mom and sister despise him. my sister has not talked to my father in 4 years. and my mother wants nothing to do with him. i always feel like i am in the middle and no one understands how much pressure it causes me. my father also got parkinson's disease after the divorce, which is also extremely difficult to watch and makes me want to burst into tears. sometimes he cant even talk clearly and i dont understand what he is saying, it is awful. i feel like i dont fully have a father anymore and that he's been missing since i was 12. i feel as if i will never be able to be okay on my own without male attention. to this day i constantly am seeking out attention from men. during my relationship i promised myself i had changed and i would never stoop to this level again, but i have..and for some reason, i dont mind it that much. well, i do mind it..but i feel like it is the one thing that i enjoy doing and it makes me feel beautiful. i do not necisarily enjoy the sexual acts, but overall i just enjoy receiving the attention. when men don't notice me, i feel worthless and unattractive. ive been told by many people that i am a beautiful girl, and sometimes i believe it, but overall i dont. i wish i could see my beauty like others do.i just want someone to be there for me and understand me and want to take care of me and love me. i feel so empty and dont know if i will ever feel secure and content.
I do understand what you have written. As strange as this may seem to you; while what you have written about what you have put yourself through and how you feel about yourself, this is somewhat of a normal reaction. Many children of divorced families have gone through what you have and are going through.
In your case you want to feel a male in your life at all cost. There are I believe certain types of men who sense this. These are the types of men you have been attracting and have been abused by. This is wrong and you can do better. Underneath all the misery you have had to put up with I sense a loving, caring woman.
You need to break this cycle you find yourself in. You do know the why of it which makes for a good start. What you need now is someone to help you break this cycle. This requires the help of a professional, a clinical psychologist. No your not crazy, your just to close to the trees to see the forest and need some one to help guide you to the right path. Someone to unburden yourself to with the knowledge that nothing you say goes beyond the four walls of the room you say it in.
IF you are open and direct in therapy sessions with the psychologist they will help you find the right path to a better place in life for you. You do the work, they only guide you and give you the support you are looking for as you work through these problems.
Your EAP program at work will help you find a psychologist and pay for the first sessions. How many depends on the program your employer has. If you are in college the school will have psychologists you can visit with.
I wanna go 2 this girls house and have oral sex and she wants to just as much as well. But I don't know what 2 say 2 my parents because it will be awkward if I say I'm going to this girls house to fuck. What shall I do or say?
I agree with Zane. As a parent there are certain things we need to know and certain things we don't need to know. There are also somethings we will assume and others we will attempt to learn if we suspect.
When it comes to sex we would like to know if your sexually active and in the same vain we really don't want to know. Sexual activity falls under the heading of something we will assume and possibly attempt to learn if we feel the need too.
What we really need to know for your safety and our peace of mind is; where you are going and when we can expect you home. We don't always need to know what you intend to do once you get to where you tell us your going. If we do we will ask.
We expect you to be where you say you will be and to return when you say you will return. If your running late we expect a phone call. This is part of the trust we place in you and violating that trust can find you being limited in where and when you can go places.
There are other things we expect of our children though I think this answers your question. Should your parents ask what you will be doing at your girlfriends house it is then up to you what to tell them.
By the way oral sex is not fucking.
we are young teens and in te next few days are gonna have sex and im scared after we do it he is going to leave me what should i do
I have advised many times on this site that young teenage boys confuse love with lust. They have only one thing on their minds which is to have sex to relieve their sexual tension and usually will leave a girl after she gives into him.
Some groups of boys have even made a game out of scoring sex from girls. The more girls they have sex with the more points they score and virgins count higher than non virgins. This game has gone on for generations. There are times I think it is handed down from father to son although it was not passed on by me to my son.
You say you are a "young teens and you are gonna have sex and I'm scared."
First being scared is a safety valve we have that tells us not to do something. To ignore the warning this safety valve is sending could be harmful in many different ways.
You fear he will leave you if you have sex with him. You also probably fear he will leave you if you don't have sex with him. If this is true, he does not love you in the way you love him. He lusts for you. His only desire for you is to use you to relieve his sexual tension that boys suffer with more than girls while going through the early stages of puberty.
If all he wants you for is a vessel to have sex with, tell him to go home and masturbate. You are not a sex object and will not be used as one. You have far more to lose by having sex than he does.
As I told my son when he was your about age; he is only the fertilizer salesman. The girl is the one that has to tell her parents if she gets pregnant. She is the one that has to deal with being pregnant and what to do about it. She is the one that may have an abortion, have the child , give the child up for adoption or keep the child. These are all very tough decisions for her to make and if she is under the age of 14 those decisions will be made for her by her parents.
The way I see this if you do or don't have sex with him the chances are almost 100% he will leave you, so don't have sex with him. Having sex has to be something you want and not something you are forced or coerced into doing.
As a normal teenage girl you will have many more boyfriends before you go off to college and after that find a man you wish to marry. You have plenty of time to find a man who will love you in the manner you love him before you have sex with him.
I am not saying you have to wait until you are married. What I am saying is right now is not the time to have sex, your too young. Wait until your older and you find someone who truly loves and respects you. Finding this in a teenage boy is a rarity.
Ok well on April 1 my best guy friend (he's like a brother to me) at school was being stupid and was dared to jump off of his swing-set backwards and he broke both of his arms and had compound fractures. I cried so bad when I found out, I cried more then anybody I'm so worried about him. His sister sent me a picture of him in the hospital and I cried SO BAD! I'm beginning to wonder if I know him as a brother or a boyfriend. What do you think?
It is possible that you see him both as a boyfriend and someone who is as close to you as a brother.
If you have known him say since early childhood or for many years before you started to be interested in boys for dating. It would not be unusual to see Josh as both a great close friend, like a brother and develop a love interest as well.
The biggest problem here is in developing a love interest. It is possible he does not see you that way. It is also possible he does see you that way and if you two go down that road should it not work for you then you both lose a great friend.
My advice is to be careful about going down the road toward a love interest. This road has many pitfalls that can, has and could lead to the loss of a great friend.
While you're thinking about this just be a good friend to Josh while his body mends.
Will having sex before taking a pregnancy test effect the results?
The short answer is no.
The home test is based on hormones found in your urine which takes at least 10 days after sex before a pregnancy can be detected.
The blood test taken at the doctors office also looks for elevated hormone markers. These markers take some time, again at least 10 days, to develop after a pregnancy begins before they can be detected.
I'm a 29 year old married woman.i'm from South Africa.when we make love my vigaina gets to wet and starts making that funny noise and it's iritaiting and i just loose interest,is the any way that i can treat it?
Your vagina is suppose to get wet, it means you are sexually excited and have lubricated to accept your husbands penis without hurting you.
As for the noise you and your husband are making while having intercourse there is not much I know that can be done about it as it is something that is a natural occurrence based on the amount of lubrication you have made or the number of small orgasm you are having before he ejaculates.
The best advice I can give you is to talk to a GYN about this.
And that's only part of it. I'm 22 years old. I'm about to finish school on my way to become a teacher. I've been very excited about my life and the direction that it's going. I was so excited that I had minimal school debt due to several scholarships that I have. The only time I've had to take out loans was for summer classes, because scholarships don't cover summer. The money I was going to start making as a teacher was for me. I was excited that I would be moving out of my house into my little apartment with my dog and just ready to begin my life.
A few years ago, my mom took my checkbook and wrote a bad check in my name. I received a phone call saying that I would be under arrest for writing those bad checks. As it turns out, at the time the check was written, I was a minor (only by a couple of weeks before turning 18). My mom admitted to the crimes, got a slap on the wrist, and was sent to the equivalent of traffic school for checks. I thought this was the last time that my mom had played with my finances.
I was on vacation this past weekend when I get a call from AT&T saying that I have delinquent account from 2011. I had to set up a payment arrangement with them. In 2011, I was on my mom's account. I didn't have a phone line of my own. I confronted her about it and she said that she isn't going to pay a dime to those annoying people. Obviously, it's going on MY credit, so I had to pay for it. I then decided that since I had no idea about this, AND it wasn't the first time either... that I needed to check my credit. So, I went to freecreditreport.com to find out she has done this SEVERAL times. It's not quite as bad as I thought it was... but it's enough to worry. She's racked up close to $3000 in debt. The only charges there that were MINE were my student loans and my little credit card for students that has a really small limit. I wanted to get a new car now that I was graduating and had a job lined up for me. I was going to rent my little apartment. These were my high hopes. I was going to save up all my extra money and travel during the summer to Europe. I have never been out of the country. I am so sad that this debt has piled up and that it's not even mine.
My parents are divorced and my dad needs to grow a pair. He is so scared of my mom and refuses to confront her about it. I'm sorry. But no divorce would stop me from having a serious talk with the other parent who about STEALING OUR CHILD'S IDENTITY. To make matters more ironic, my dad is a cop!!! He could seriously scare her by talking to her about the very serious consequences that could arise. I would take my dad seriously if he was talking about jail because of his profession. But, he's too scared of her. My grandma is WAY to passive. My grandparents live with us. But, my grandmother just asks me not to turn her in. She says that I am an adult and that I need to take care of these problems myself. That what is mine is hers and that I have no right to protect my credit from HER, because she is my mom.
The only person that could probably do something is either my grandmother or my great aunt (which is her aunt.. my grandmother's sister). She has gotten my mom out of debt multiple times. She has financed for her and co-signed several times. She is the only person that my mom listens to. Or my grandfather... because we live in his house... and if he kicks her out... she has no place to go. Maybe my aunt could talk to her.
What do I do? If I pay this all off... am I going to be held responsible? Is it going to stay on my credit report if I don't turn her in? For as angry as I am... I don't want her in prison. But, all of this needs to be paid off before December. How long will it take for my credit to improve? This can't stay on my record for 7 years. Before then, I need to get a job and this could affect me. I need to move out! There's no way I can stay here any longer. Please please please give me some advice. Thank yoiu!
I believe you need to consult a lawyer. Depending on when these charges where incurred, if you were still a minor, you may not be responsible for them and any negative credit information will have to be removed from your credit report.
Even though your mother is the person who has stolen your identity she has still committed a crime. A lawyer can best advise you on what your responsibilities are and how quickly your credit scores can be repaired.
You may have to report moms stealing of your ID and take her to court to get the funds needed to settle any outstanding balances. Your lawyer can then negotiate with the creditors she incurred the debt with to voluntarily remove the bad credit information from your credit report.
I here you saying mom has no money. If you are awarded damages by the court your lawyer will seek the right to seize and sell any and all things of value owned by your mother until the award is settled. The Sheriff then goes and seizes the what property they feel is needed will bring the value needed at auction. This would include her car, jewelry and even her home.
Don't feel bad for your mom. She has broken the law, harmed you in one of the worst ways a parent can and left you holding the bag. She has only herself to blame now.
See a lawyer, file charges against mom and do what is needed to be done to correct the mess your mom made. You may also want to talk to Social Security about a new Social Security number so mom cannot do this again. This is something your lawyer might be able to help with also. Most importantly is to see a lawyer and do whatever he/she advices.
Is it illegal to sell a pair of concert tickets online for much more money than you bought them?
Say you bought them for $100, would it be illegal to sell them for $250 if the concert is sold out and they're in high demand?
What your attempting to do may be considered scalping. It all depends on the laws in the state you live in.
Is it illegal to do so online? I'm really not sure. Many have done so on EBay with tickets for the Super Bowl, The World Series and other events. The difference with EBay is it is an auction and not a fixed price. The highest bidder gets the tickets.
To stand outside the venue and to try and sell the tickets is considered scalping. Here again depending on the laws were you live you can be arrested for this and the tickets forfeited.