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oh boy... am i considered a slut?
13/f...well, I've told y'all about how my bf wanted me to have sex with him but i didn't want too, well...i wanted to..and we did. well, it wasn't really considered sex because, i was wearing a pencil skirt...with a thong and he had on khakis..with boxers (obviously) and i took off my pencil skirt and he took off his khakis we started grinding and stuff he kissed down my stomach but..we didn't really do "stuff"...is that considered losing my virginity? and am i considered a slut?
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It wasn't sex, so you are a virgin.
And no, you're not considered a slut.
While I actually hate to say this, what you guys are doing is normal for young teenagers.
I don't agree with it at all but when young people start messing around, it normally leads to having sex.
While you said in the beginning that you didn't want to have sex, but then you did want to? Sex can't be a heat of the moment thing. It has to be planned and you have to be ready.
You've most likely already heard that you could suffer terrible consequences if you go through with it, and your body is definitely not ready for sex but I really don't want you to regret this.
Sex can take a huge turn on somebody's life, you've only been with this boy for 5 months, you don't want to regret it. I think you should wait to have sex. Because I really believe you aren't ready.
Anyways, you haven't lost your virginity and you're not a slut.
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No that is not considered loosing your virginity, you actually have to 'HAVE SEX" in order for that to happen.
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I see a number of different issues here that need to be addressed.
Lets start with the word slut. It is a derogatory word that has no real meaning used to hurt someone. It is a word I dislike an never use to describe anyone and never should be used by anyone to describe themselves. At worst a person could be considered overly sexually active for their age or possibly upbringing or background. To be called a slut, no I do not think that is right and I don't think you have done anything to even come close to be being called one.
Next; to lose ones virginity a boys penis must penetrate a girls vagina. By you description that did not happen. So you are still a virgin.
I realize kids today are shall we say somewhat more advanced then I was when I was your age. Still to be engaging in grinding against someone in your underwear is dangerous. Dangerous from the stand point that once you remove your outer clothing going to the next stem and being nude together is just like a half inch from actually having sex which would cause you to lose your virginity.
As long as you keep your outer clothing on it is that much harder to have actual sex. It is not impossible just harder. Once you start undressing you start down that slippery slope where putting the brakes on becomes harder and harder.
At age 13 you are far to young to be having sex. You have your whole life ahead of you to have sex, don't ruin it by having sex now when both you and your body are not mature enough to enjoy fully the meaning of sex.
If your boyfriend is pushing you to have sex with him. Saying things like, "IF you love me you'll have sex with me," or no sex then I'll find someone who will." He doesn't love you he lusts for you.
Love and lust is something teenage boys get confused driven by rampant hormones caused by puberty. His love will never be the same as yours until he is much older into his late teens or early 20 when he is finished with puberty.
Don't let anyone ever pressure you to have sex with them. pressuring you to have sex with them once you have said no is sexual harassment and should you give in it could be considered rape as you are doing so against your will even if you are consenting. Don't let this happen. NO MEANS NO.
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This actvity does not count as losing your virginity, and even if you do it doesn't make you a slut. I'd say at thirteen you're a bit young to be having full sex (where your boyfriend is actually inside you and ejaculates...into a condom that is...DEFINITELY). Usually girls are older when they first have full sex. Those who start at your age very often regret it. I don't mean 'regret' in that they all get pregnant...that's not the case at all. Just a personal regret that it was a bit too soon and maybe wasn't as great as they hoped. Because it was a bit soon. What you're describing on the other hand is very usual and perfectly natural behaviour for a couple your age who've been together 5 months. Best plan for you two might be that you keep your cherry a while longer, but have plenty of fun getting to know each other quite intimately, just like you're describing here in fact...(and no talk of being a 'slut' please!). That definitely makes him a proper boyfriend doesn't it? How does that sound??
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You sound regretful which clearly indicates you were pressured and not ready.
You are not a slut, You made a mistake. If you aren't ready then you need to stand your ground. I believe with all respect, You are way to young. NEVER do something you aren't ready for. Also, Unless his penis was in contact with your vagina, You are a virgin.
Now please stop!
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