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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Ok, so bascially I get on really well with one of my teachers, to the point that it borders on a crush. He's never actually taught me but he is the teacher who knows me best at the school and has done so much for me during my time at the school.

I'm 15 and he's in his late 20's so I know nothing can happen between us, but I genuinely love him as a friend and person. Things at school have been going really well lately and me and him have been getting closer than ever.

The problem is he is leaving at the end of the school year and I don't know how to cope without him. I was getting to the point where I was beginning to deal with it but then another bombshell hit today. He's not just moving to a different school, he's moving really far away and I will literally never see him again.

I really want to talk to him about it but I don't know what to say - he hasn't announced to the school that he's leaving yet... Please help!

Unfortunately this is all part of life. I can only speculate as to why he is moving. He has either received a better teaching position in another State; or possible his significant other has received a better job offer and he is following knowing how in demand teachers are and he will have no trouble finding a new position.

It is always hard to loose a friend. The adult thing to do would to go up to him and thank him for being your friend and mentor. Tell him how much his friendship and mentoring has helped you and that while you are going to miss him you wish him the best of luck. You can also work in to your conversation that replacing him as a friend will be hard, harder yet will be finding a new mentor.

If he is the teacher you make him out to be he should pick up on that cue and offer someone as a replacement at least as a mentor. Since you already know he is leaving you don't have to wait for a formal announcement to speak with him.

What if the reason for your suiside are to lift the burden you feel your putting on your friends and family now, to be selfesh is to only think ones self but what if you leave no mess for family to find what if you really have exhausted all other options I'm asking this because I am young enough know and old enough to realize my family shouldn't have to cart me from drs to drs because my poor health and being so depressed in front of them is only bringing them down

I'll make this short and sweet which mean you pissed me off because I rarely write anything short and direct.

If your family did not love you and want you they do not have to be the ones to haul you from doctor to doctor. They could have and can do at anytime hand you off to the state to become the states problem. They have not done that.

You don't say just how sick you are or what your illness is. The fact that your family is taking you from doctor to doctor and caring for you properly says they love you and want you in their lives for as long as god intends you to be with them.

How dare you cheat them out just one moment of the time you are intended to be on this earth. Regardless of all the pain you may see them in it is not pain they have because of what they must do for you. It is the pain of not being able to take your pain away. This is what parenting is all about.

We hurt when are children hurt and we cry when they cry for we want too and should be able to take their pain away. By committing suicide you are not ending their pain you will for ever depend their pain for they will ever wonder what more they have could have done to take your pain away.

Suicide is being selfish as you are denying them the joy of your being.

I am 24 years old but i am mentally retarded at least that's what my mom says. my mom has been sick with brain tumors for almost 2 years now. I will give you an example of the abuse if that helps. The other day I was trying to move a love seat for my mom it fell on my foot I screamed she called me a bitch and any other word she could possibly think of . she also hit me in the head 3 times with her fists as hard as could screaming you stupid bitch I hate you, you can't do anything right . I mean wouldn't you scream if a love seat fell on your foot. I think you would. I didn't have shoes on either . she threatened to take my phone away if I screamed like that again even though i pay for the phone myself. I have been contemplating suicide the other day I took 8 Tylenol at 1 on time because my head hurt so bad when she hit me in the head with her fists. I don't want to press charges because of her condition and I don't feel like I can move out because she is raising 3 of her grand kids by herself in her condition and i am the only daughter out of 3 who is willing to stick by her no matter how mean she gets what should I do please help i am at my wits end and about to have a nervous break down and about ready to put and end to it all .

From what you have written I would be hard pressed to see you as mentally retarded but that is a question for a different time.

Right now though your question is what to do about your mom and how she is treating you. Yes she is abusing you both mentally and physically which needs to stop. Some of the things I would need to know are; since I think her brain tumor is an underlying cause is:

1)Is this tumor a in operable and a terminal condition.
2) Is her abuse of you something that has only started since the tumor has been diagnosed or has she been this way towards you before then. If so how long has this been going on.
3) Is she abusive to the grandchildren she is raising.

If the answer to number 3 is yes and the answer to number 2 only since the diagnoses of the tumor or has gotten worse since then.

Then what I suggest you do is speak to the her doctor about what is happening. For it may mean the tumor is getting larger causing her to be the way she is. The doctor would then discuss with you different ways to deal with this and may even recommend you Nieces and Nephews be taken from her care.

Their may be some medication he can prescribe to help her with the pain she is having and the personality change. The doctor may also want to put her into a care faculty where there are people trained to care for her and relieve you as the care give.

This is what I suggest if it is the tumor causing the problem. IF it is not the tumor causing the problem then you must take care of yourself and not let her drive you so deep into depression that you want to hurt yourself.

If she has physically hurt you to the point that 8 Tylenol, which is more than the recommended dosage and is harmful, would not help you. The you need to either move out or charge her with assaulting you. You are an adult and even if you where a child she has no right to hit you on the head. As an adult she has no right to hit you or discipline you.

You also need to talk to a doctor for medication to deal with the depression her abuse of you has caused as well as a therapist to speak with to help you deal with all this.

Well I have 2 best friends we'll start here. So the deal is me and D (one of the best friends) are simply well not pretty. While T (our other best friend) she is gorgeous. T gets all the boys. And me and D are I think the only ones in our grade who haven't been asked out. I am really good friends with boys, in fact I sometimes find a boy's company even more comforting. I have a lot of things in common with boys. For once, I am a gamer and I like scary moovies. Well my point is looks is the only feature boys notice which well I lack. Will I really be forever alone? And how shall I deal with T?

PS: sorry this is kinda hard to read and understand

I wish I knew your age as it would be easier to answer you if I did.

Let me start by saying everyone has their own beauty. Some people have outer beauty which attract people like a magnet while on the inside they are down right ugly. Most (boys and girls)of us though are not all that beautiful on the outside but we have an inner beauty or quality that shines brightly once you get to know us. It is this beauty that people look for when they start looking for a life partner.

Right now if I am guessing your age correctly, you are in your early teens. At this age boys look only at the packaging, the outer beauty for they are lustful by nature. They have just one thing on their minds. This is a hormonal reaction, thus the slang word horny, to the early stages of puberty. Once they gain control over their hormones, which they eventually will. They will become more selective in who they want to date as they will be looking for a life mate. The package now becomes less important for they want someone they can inter-act with on many levels.

When giving advice on related questions to yours. One thing I constantly ad is that sex is wonderful and has a place in everyone's life. But if you base an entire relationship on sex alone that relationship is doomed to fail as one day you will wake up and want or need to actually speak with each other. This is when you will find you have nothing in common.

Short answer to your question is NO, you will not be alone all your life. You do have that inner beauty men/boys look for in a life partner I can see this in your writing. Also you're still growing and your body an facial features are still changing and maturing so your outer packaging is changing.

When it does do not let the outer packaging be the only reason a boy or man wants to be with you as his interest will still be mostly lustful. Save what they are looking for to share with a man who would make a good life partner for you. You may not find him on the first try but you will find him. The one thing you don't want is a reputation as a girl who will give in to a boys lust just to get a date.

So me and mt best friend are both sophomores in college &we used to be inseperetable. Even freshman year. Now this year when she's at school she barelyyyy talks to me. I always make the effort but she never does. It's been going on all year but she's coming home for summer soon. I know we wil be back to our old selves again but I don't want to only be her best friend when she's not at school. Because when I'm away I am busy but still make a huge effort. Whenever I confront her about it she says she's so busy... Yet she has a lot of time to tweet. I feel so stressed and depressed lately over our relationship. Besides talking to her because that never helps so far does anyone have any ideas of what I should do?!

Thank you s much!

Unfortunately this is part of life. Childhood friends rarely extend past high school as our lives change greatly once we become adults and leave home for college and work. We form new friendships, new circles of friends and mature differently based on where life takes us. Someone once wrote "You can never go home again."

This is a very true statement. When I was your age I could not afford to go to College I chose instead to go into the Military. Most of my friends went off to college. I still received my college education it just took me a year longer then they did. At the same time I saw a great many things they didn't. I was forced to grow up and mature faster then they did. For I saw war, wounded soldiers, the dead, the poverty of others and everything that goes with war.

I also saw parts of the world that most of them would not see until they were much older which allowed me to experience these countries in a much different manner then they will or I will when I visit them again if I do.

One thing I noticed very early in my time in the Military was that when I came home on leave I had little in common with the friends I grew up with. They were existing in the safe and secure world of college while I spent every day preparing aircraft to go off an bomb cities in a country far from where I was stationed an never heard of. Before the Vietnam war I had never heard of Vietnam or some of the countries surrounding it.

I think you should prepare yourself for your friend to be a different person this summer then the one you are expecting. There is even the possibility that her time at home this summer may be short as she may choose to come home spend some time with her family then go off to be with her college friends or even her college boyfriend.

These are distinct possibilities. I think it is wonderful that you want to keep her as a friend and to try and maintain the relationship you have had all these years. The reality is this may be passing you by. I would suggest that you not be dependant on her for your only best friend and look for someone new at school who share your present interests as your long times friends' shared interest seems to be changing.

I wish the possible reality had a better outlook for you though I doubt it. What I feel is happening with your friend is all part of life's cycle and we all have to adjust, move on as life is forever changing on us.

Hey so my bf wants to have sex in a postition called reverse cowgirl? And dogystyle? I dont know what these things are but please help also he said he wants to 'eat me out' and i said no because i didnt know what it was. He said it felt good so please help we are both 17 thanks ( im a girl )

For more information on your question and other positions. Try typing "Sexual Positions" into any search engine. A whole host of graphic a text information will be returned for you to look through.

There is also a book called the Kama Sutra written in the 2nd Century ad by an Indian gentleman. It has been rewritten over the centuries but the positions he described back then, over 100, are very interesting to say the least. It is not very expensive ans is available in most book stores.

what is sex?

As any teacher will tell you; You can look for that answere in any dictionary. You do not need us to explain it to you.

19/f
DO NOT JUDGE ME WHILE READING THIS. Long story short my ex-boyfriend and I broke up from September to November. We had been dating for a year when we departed. We started getting back together and working on our relationship in mid-November and I got pregnant. I had my abortion in December. He wasn't there for me at all, the next three weeks I was crying about it by myself. He got drunk and didn't know how to deal with it, because it was our "school break" untill the spring semester. I feel deep down inside there's a piece of me that will never love him the way I use too. He's apologized so many times to me but I get my period every month now and I just cry because I hate what happened between us. I hate myself sometimes too. He loves me more then anything else and I just don't know sometimes. Sometimes I look at other guys and wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. This is not my first relationship, but yes unfortunately my first abortion. I've dated two other guys one for three years the other for a year. I'm young and I need serious advice. I know it sounds bad. When were with each other were always happy and we barely fight anymore. I just don't know.

While I am not a psychologist I do believe that what and how you are feeling towards your boyfriend is normal giving what you have written. Having an abortion, though voluntary as it is, is a very traumatic experience for a woman of any age. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. You said you feel like a part of you is missing. In a sense it is though given time this will pass.

I believe the hardest part for you to accept is the fact that your boyfriend wasn't there for you when you needed him. This is a wound that is going to take time and discussion to heal.

It didn't have to be an abortion to cause this pain it could have been any traumatic experience that he found himself incapable of being therefore you. I would say you see him not being there when you needed him as not loving you enough to overcome whatever kept him away.

This may not be true. It may be that he too was scared and did not know how to support you. Rather than hurt you he stayed away. This too is a form of affection. Picking what he may have thought was the lesser of two evils. I really can't say I can only base my thoughts on my own knowledge of how I or others I know handle certain situations.

Your boyfriend has apologised though I believe you are not yet ready to fully accept his apologies. Your still hurt, to erase or put this hurt aside is going to require some deep discussion where you tell him why you're hurt and he can explain why he acted as he did. If I am right that he too was scared and did not know how to be there for you then maybe you can accept his apology. After all you are both young and what has happened is scary to anyone of any age. Maturity comes with age and maturity is what I believe your boyfriend may have been lacking at the time.

I assume he too is over 18 making you both adults now. There is no reason, other than medical or religious reasons why both of you should not be using forms of birth control. Neither of you need parental permission to get birth control now that your adults. You didn't need permission as teenagers to purchase condoms.

My additional advise is that as an adult you are entitled to a sex life. Part of having a sex life is being responsible. Meaning taking proper precautions against accidental pregnancy. You can get birth control pills if you want them. If your in college you should be able to get them through the college health center. If not your own GYN will write a prescription. As an adult you have total medical confidentiality, even if in school and dependant on your parents. They cannot be told the who, what or why of any doctors visit without your written consent.

Your parent may have continued their financial responsibility for you. Though you and you alone are responsible for your actions. When my son was in College even though I was paying the tuition I was not allowed to see his grades. They went to him directly.

This was and is all part of being an adult by law. The same is true for medical information. Even today with him in his thirties if he asks for my help with anything that requires disclosure he needs to give me written authorization to do so and so would you parents need from you to learn any medical information about you.

Also even if you and your boyfriend are in a long term relationship and you are on birth control. HE should continue to use a condom as it adds to the effectiveness of birth control as well as preventing transmission of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. Until your in a definite monogamous relationship and have been tested a condom is a must.

At the end of November I found my biological siblings. I have a brother who is a 36 year old grown man. We bagan to talk through text and on the phone and seemed to gotten along well. My problem is that in the past month, he has sent me 3 digusting photos of his penis. I explained to him the first 2 times in a calm mannr that I am his sister and it is comple yr elt unacceptable behavior and makes me very uncomfortable. The third time, I lost my patience and decided to tell him like it was. He didnt seem to take me seriously...he is a great guy and we get along sooo well when he acts normal. Now I am in a debate whether to meet him and hope he processes it or run for the hills. I met with my biological sister and told her about him flirting with me, I did not tell her about his photos because I felt it was better unsaid. Is he not getting it? Maybe he is a creep?... Do I try and meet him? Help

Not only is you brother being inappropriate towards you. He is sexually harassing you by sending inappropriate pictures to you over the Internet. Something else that can be deemed as illegal since you are not wanting or accepting of these pictures.

The sending of pornographic material to you does not make your brother a child molester as was his father, neither does it rule him out as one. Studies do show that if molested as a child molested children are more likely to molest as an adult. If your brother has children then this is something his wife needs to know about so she can take the appropriate action to protect her children.

As for you meeting with your brother? My advice would be that you do not. Instead I would advise that you once again tell him that his actions towards you are not acceptable, are unwarranted and illegal. That if they continues to harrass you you will have no choice but to report him to the police. You can decided if you want to tell him you have or will advice his wife of his actions should you decided to do so, if he is married w/children. If he is married and has children I would strongly suggest you do speak with your sister in-law so she can make sure her children have not been harmed.

You have done nothing wrong here and are the one being harmed. Nothing says that had you not been taken from your parents and adopted out what is happening would not have happened and may have happened sooner. It may have even lead to your brother molesting you as a younger sibling.

We can only advise you to do what we would do in your situation or what we feel is right in this situation. You have the final say in what you should do. As his children's Aunt if you suspect your brother may be a child molester, as much as it might hurt to advise his wife or even the police. You have every right and the responsibility to protect you niece or nephews from him.

I'm looking for some opinions on whether I should get bunion surgery. I already scheduled it in about 2 weeks but I can still cancel if I change my mind.

The bunion on my left foot is not causing significant pain at the moment. I noticed some pain which is why I went in for the xrays in the first place but the pain is off and on--mostly off--and not interfering with my daily activities. I've read a lot of things that suggest waiting until the bunion is actually painful and debilitating.

HOWEVER, I had bunion surgery last year on the right foot and in that experience the pain progressed fairly quickly. Might have been because I was more active then but I really don't know. I have a family history of bunions so the current one is likely to get worse and obviously I know that it's not going to get better because bunions don't do that.

The problem with waiting is that if it winds up being painful a couple month from now I have way more going on. Currently I have the lightest schedule I'm going to have for a while so if I'm picking and choosing surgery times this is the most convenient.

But I keep reading that I should wait until it's significantly painful and now... I just don't know. So, can anyone offer some advice and opinions?

The only thing I can suggest is if you have your doubts as to whether the surgery is needed or if this is the proper time to have the surgery. Is for you to try and get a second opinion before you need to cancel the surgery.

Each of us deal with pain differently and is why doctors ask you to score your pain on a scale form 1 to 10. This is the only way they can judge the pain you are in. If the same doctor is doing this surgery did your last then I would say that doctors judgement is also based on the doctors knowledge of you from the last surgery.

None of us are doctors and worse we do not know you so we have no way of giving you anytype of informed answer. If you trust your doctors judgement then have the surgery. If you have questions ask them it is your right to be fully informed. If you're questioning your doctors judgment then get a second opinion.

This girl at school is fucking hot ive had dreams of both of us having sex but the prob is i dont evan know her name i dont know if shes horny or anything im 13 but i dont give a damn i need help i really want to finger here her ass is hot hot *_*

Cool your jets young man. Your way to young to be even thinking the way you are. If you were to even attempt to approach her the way you are thing now she will shoot you down big time. If she is your age she may not and probably is not ready for sex.

What you have is a lust for her and she will see right through you big time. Any girl at any age will see this. No girl wants to be someones object of carnal lust. They want to be loved and feel secure before they will even consider having sex.

You have a bad case of the teenage hots compounded by puberty. I would suggest you consider Miss Thumb and her four friends in a masturbatory fantasy to cool down before you do something that gets you in more trouble then you know how to deal with.

I'm sure this girl is hot. In your present condition you do not stand a chance with her. Find someway to cool down or be shot down.

Im 13 and Im 32 A.Last year I participated in a running competition and I lose weight and I become totally flat chested.Then I gain weight and I got 32 A size.Now I want to participate again and Im really afraid that i will lose them again.
My question is that,Why I become flat chested??

First let me say what is happening to you is normal for female athletes in training. This is something female Olympic athletes have had to put up with as they train. Something else that you may find happen, depending on how hard you train, is if you have started your period it will stop while you are training.

Why this happens is all part of female physiology and the human bodies’ reaction when it is not getting all the nutrients it needs to function properly. Even with a well-balanced training diet athletes do not always get everything or retain enough nutrients for their body to function as it should. When an athlete trains they burn almost all they consume leaving little reserve for the body to call on when it needs. This reserve is stored in fat. Athletes in general have a very low BMI so there is little fat to draw upon. Breast tissue is almost all fat so the body will deplete this fat first.

The body is also a self-preserving organ. It will preserve the most vital organs at all cost, shutting down those organs it feels it can survive without. Your reproductive system is one the body feels it does not need to survive so it is the first organ it will shut down. Once it shuts down there is no reason for you to have a period something else the body doesn’t need to deal with. Less of it’s vital resources it needs to expend.

Now I’ve overly simplified things a bit as nothing is permanently shut down just put into hibernation so to speak. The fat it draws on can be replaced when you stop training as you saw the last time. It will happen again if you start training. What is important is that you have a proper diet and training regime to follow while you train for your race.

Hopefully you have a coach who can help you train and provide a proper diet. If you need a proper diet I suggest you ask mom or dad to take you to see a nutritionists who can put a diet together that will maximize the calories you need while training.

Good luck with your race.

I am a female, 21 years old, and up until about a month ago I have never really viewed a woman in a sexual way. I love penis! Butttt I met a really beautiful lesbian who was also kind of masculine (long hair but dressed like a guy..jeans, tshirts, backwards hat) ..anyways, I dig it. She got me very curious. So I was like okay, maybe I am a little bicurious about certain females. I say certain females because I am not in any way attracted sexually to my girl friends or girls I associate with. Kinda just this one girl. We hung out again a couple of times a mutual friend's wedding and we kind of had to be more reserved because we were in public but we are starting to text more and more. I actually kind of think about her a lot, which is weird for me.

My first question is, have any other females experienced this and how should I approach it? She is digging me and makes that known but I am also kinda digging her back... am I just curious or would I be able to go through with hanging out with her alone?

She asked me to her hotel room the couple of nights that we were staying out of town for that wedding and I declined. I just was kinda nervous. One of those nights she stayed in my room really late and we spooned and made out but that was it.

Next question, what should I expect sexually? She knows that I haven't even hooked up with a girl like that but I am still nervous. I don't want to seem inexperienced because I am very experienced and like to try new things sexually. Should I go through with this? Since she is more the "butch" and I more the "lipstick" type lesbian, does that mean she is going to fulfill the duties of a man (i.e. eating me out and playing with my pussy, etc) because honestly i wouldn't know what to do if she wanted me to go down on her or finger her.... I just am not down with that.

ANY advice in this category would be awesome.
THanks!!!

At first I was going to give you a different answer then I read Razhie's answer to you and she is right. You need to communicate with her first. Communication in any relationship is very important if you are going to have a successful relationship and this is most important in a sexual relationship. Be it a Gay, Lesbian or straight type relationship. Your partner needs to know up front what your boundaries are as well as your likes and dislikes.

Right now I would say you are not a lesbian and that you may be bi-curious at best; at least with this one friend. It may be that she would be willing to accept your boundaries hoping to teach you to reciprocate with her in lesbian sex.

You won't know this until you talk to her. What you might say to her is that you are a girly-girl who likes boys but for some reason you are attracted to her in a sexual manner an have felt know that she has feeling for you in a sexual manner. You might be willing to explore these feeling with her if she is willing to accept you boundaries. Then layout for her what you are willing to do with her. I wouldn't be surprised if she accepted your boundaries.

As a guy we don't expect a girl to give us a BJ the first time we make out with them or to give us a hand-job. We on the other hand are willing to go as far as the girl will allow us. I sort of expect this will be the same with your girl friend,

So during my relationship with my ex I had an abortion. I feel so horrible about it and honestly it haunts me. he doesn't know that I got pregnant. He doesn't know about the procedure at all. It was such a traumatizing thing for me and then I grew into a depression and because of that me and my bf broke up. I just wasn't the same person anymore. I haven't been ever since. Me and him just recently broke up and we still talk and hang out. I really do love him and I don't know if he should know or not.

This is not a question I believe any of us can give you an answer for. I am a supporter of abortion rights which to me means I also support your right to chose. You have the right to chose what is best for you and it is your body. No one has the right to tell you what you need do when it comes to a pregnancy that you are not ready for.

Even if you are a married women I cannot see forcing you to have a child you are not capable of caring for or not emotionally ready to care for. Given my thinking on this subject just what rights does the male have in these situations. As a boyfriend none. It is totally your decision. As a husband his rights would depend on the strength of you marriage, maybe, though the choice is yours and yours alone.

I know this doesn't truly answer your question. Hopefully my views on the subject will give you a cleared picture as to whether you wish to tell you boyfriend about the abortion. In my mind you are under no obligation to tell him.

So my sister has a 18 month boy and is now pregnant with another boy. I'm 20 so I'm not rolling in money, however I want to get them somenthing that is very meaningful and not just something I could buy at Walmart. I wanted to start a separate account to save money for them to go to college, however I don't think I will be able to save that kind of money and I don't think my sister would accept it. But I'm thinking along those lines... something very meaningful that will help they boys for years to come, or something that my sister can also benefit from. I REALLY want to give them all something they deserve!

I think what you want to do is very thoughtful of you and you will make a great Aunt. The best thing you can do for the boys as their Aunt is to be their for them to come to for advice that they would not normally go to their parents for. The intent of this site is to give advice to young people on those things they may not go to the parents with, things they may be afraid to go to their parents with or things they feel embarrassed about. Having a kindly loving Aunt that they can go to secure in the knowledge they can ask anything of her in total confidence will help guide them through the awkward years of adolescence.

As for the college fund you speak of. You would be surprised how $5 or $10 a week put into high yield certificate of deposit adds up over 18 to 22 years. If your sister won't accept the money for their college then you can give the money to boys upon graduation. The money will be quite an incentive to finish college knowing they have a nest egg coming to them to start out life as an adult.

Sorry for the length. My dad can be selfish, condescending, self righteous, hypocritical, and hateful. Worst of all, he and I aren't around each other enough to be very close and he favors my sister to a point where I don't feel like he's her father and my father as well. When she's not around, he is nice enough, but when she is, it's like he's only got enough niceness to go around and she gets it all. He takes her side all the time and assumes that I'm going to be a jerk to her before I've even done anything. She just got engaged Friday night and my mom has concerns about her fiancee, which my dad is on her back about saying how disappointed he is in her for not being happy for my sister and supporting her any decision she made. What sucks is that I know there are decisions I could make that he wouldn't support. He told me that he wouldn't let a man marry me if he didn't like him and Saturday night, I made a decision I know he won't be happy about. I'm 25 years old and I still go to my parents baptist church, but have just chosen not to anymore. I'm going to explore other churches and denominations, but I can just hear my dad yelling about it as if our church is the only acceptable one in the world. Not to be selfish, but a little part of me was hoping that I'd get married before my sister so that I'd be in the spotlight for once. I can't see my dad caring as much about my wedding as he does about her's, but if mine came first, he might care as much or at least act like he did. What's sad is that recently, to prevent more negative feelings, I've decided to stop caring about my problems with my dad. I feel like there's nothing I can do about them, but I know it's wrong not to care. What should I do?

In a sense I have been where your at. I was the child my father never wanted. No my parents were not forced to marry they were married 3 years before I arrived. I'm a WWII war baby and my father married my mother during the war mostly to have someone to worry for him and waiting for him when he came home. Mom got pregnant with me shortly after he came home and his father forced him to man up and take responsibility.

I spent my whole life trying to please him with long periods of him not talking to me when I displeased him. In the end before he died he and I hadn't spoken or seen each other for over 10 years. My mom had died, she was the referee between us and I saw no further reason to keep up the charade.

It appears from your writing that your situation is not all that dissimilar. Your 25 an adult who should be responsible for herself. Yes it would be nice if your dad supported you and the decisions you make. Showed you the love and attention you deserve.

Nice is one thing and reality is another. You have to deal with the reality you have. Be happy for your sister. You were right not to run off and marry the first guy to come along. Neither should you marry the next guy to come along just to grab your fathers attention.

I think you are right to strike out on your own and seek out other churches other denominations. There is more to life then one church one denomination. You should explore other parts of life as well. You should try to explore the many great things this life has to offer us. Be it be back packing through this country or others; or just exploring different pleasures you have not had the chance to explore.

I don't think you have chosen not to care about your dad and the problems between you. I think you have chosen to ignore them, there is a difference. By choosing to ignore them you are also choosing to move on with your life regardless of how he may feel. If you chose not to care you could not truly move on with your life.

You have made the same choice about your dad and your problems with him that I made about my dad and our problems. I can support this choice and urge you forward. If you are still living at home I would also urge you find away to move out, even if it means finding a room or a roommate to move in with.

You cannot fully appreciate life as an adult while living under your fathers roof and under his thumb.

why do i search for something that i can not achieve? i married a man that i love with everything that i am ... but i feel so lost and alone .. there is no passion anymore .. i dont think that he is still in love with me and i think that he is searching for a way out ... i have cried so much that i feel empty.. here i am resorting to putting my feelings out to the world just in case there is someone that can save me from my self ... i just want to die, i am a failure as a mother to a son i never see... i am a failure as a wife to a husband i watch hate me each day .. fleeting moments where i see what could ... what should be .. but when he looks at me he see's a traitor... or just person that he once knew... i used to have so many wonderful traits but i dont have anything... the only thing i want is what doesnt want me... death would be preferable to this living torture?? please someone tell me how to end this i just want to rest now. i have nothing left to give of myself ... i am all ready dead .. if only i can end my own painful existence...

Death is not the answer, it never is. You leave behind people who love you, a son without a mother, a husband without a wife, a mother and father without a daughter. All of whom will hurt and question why?

The problem you have I believe is you are depressed. It may have started as postpartum depression and having gone untreated has caused you to continue to suffer. As someone who has suffered with depression I can tell you for certain depression hurts both physically and mentally. When we are as deeply depressed as you may be we tend not to see things as they are but distorted by the depression we are suffering.

Fortunately there is help and you have taken the biggest step in getting helped by writing to us. By writing to us you are really not asking to die for you know we would never tell you how to do that. You are writing to ask us how to live and that is what we will help you do.

If you are felling actively suicidal, meaning you want to hurt yourself now; pick up a phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker you are thinking of hurting yourself. The call taker will stay on the phone with you while help is sent to you. The help will be in the form of a fire department engine company from the closest fire station, an ambulance and a police officer. The police officer is not there to arrest you or harm you. Only to ensure that you get the help you need and that you cannot harm yourself. The ambulance will take you to a hospital where the doctors will evaluate you for depression and get you the proper help and medication.

If you are not felling actively suicidal then I would like you to call this number; 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is the National Suicide Prevention hot line. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

Please trust me when I say this; I've been where you are now and I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. All you need to do is take the next step and either call 911 for help or call the hot line. My wife was ready to leave me before I asked for help, was diagnosed and got treatment. We are still together today and our marriage is stronger then ever.

I Have Friends That Were G Strings ThaT Are 10 Or 8.so is it still o.k to wear them? Cause people complain about them and realy. There being baby's over some one wearing underwear -_-. But i was just asking.
:3Noah:3

I believe this is something that young girls should discuss with their mothers and maybe their dads too. My personal feeling is at the ages you write about they are way to young to be wearing this type of underwear. The "G" string underwear is meant for older girls. Girls that are in the upper teens or older.

If I was their father I would be telling these girls they are way to young for "g" strings and have them wearing age appropriate clothing from the skin out.

Hope this answers your question.

I understand you suggest that I take my daughter to get counseling to deal with her mother being in jail, I think however she is handling it well. She seems to have accepted "OK my mother committed a crime and is serving her punishiment, and she will be out in a year" and is now just living her life like normal. Isn't that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about it?

There is probably more to this then you are telling me, this would not be unusual. I base my advice on what you tell me, what I can read between the lines and my years of knowledge as a senior citizen. If I need advice in answering any question I chose to answer I either research the answer on the web or I have a host of friends and acquaintances in various fields and professions I can call upon for their input.

For instance, if I remember correctly, you told me your wife went to jail for check fraud. An acquaintance of mine is a Circuit Court Judge. In conversation with him he told me that was a very light sentence for this crime and was surprised your wife was not given a suspended sentence, probation and community service instead. He suspected there was more to this than what I was aware of; I greed with him. You have never told me how you feel about what your wife did; why she told you or why you suspect she did it if she hasn't told you.

As I've said to you before I don’t know you or your daughter and this is the only way I will communicate with you. So with the information at hand I make my decision on what or how to advise you. In your case my concern at first and still is primarily for your daughter. My concern is for when she is not around you, when she is in school or out doing other things. Children at this age can be horrible to one another. Her mother is in jail and the other kids in school will if they don’t already know find out about it. I would expect her to be teased unmercifully about this. This is why I suggested you find her a psychologist to speak with. Here again I do not know your daughter but depending on how you are handling your wife’s incarceration or she is viewing your handling, your daughter may be putting up a strong front for you.

I can’t say one way or another as I’m not there to observe her nor have I known her prior to your wife going to jail. A skilled therapist can get through all this and find out if your daughter is truly okay with everything. The fact that you continue to write and ask about this also tells me you suspect, maybe in the back of your mind, that things are not quite right.

Frankly I think you both should see a therapist and let the therapist guide you in a conversation about all this. I can’t do this for you and I honestly feel this is something that will benefit both of you. I have given you all the advice I can but I am not a psychologist or any other type of professional who can help you. I can only advise you on what I would do in your situation.

Since I truly believe you need to seek professional guidance with this I cannot give you any further advice on this matter.

Why do people say suicide is selfish? It's not selfish to end your OWN life, everyone else is going to rot in the ground just like their family before them and before them.

I want to die, and that is a choice just as is everything else in "life" what's the quickest, least painful way I can do this?

I cannot say it any better than lightoftruth wrote it. What I will do is offer suggestions of how to live and why you may feel as you do.

People who feel suicidal are usually deeply depressed or something in their lives has gone horrible wrong for which they feel they cannot ever repair. This too is depression speaking.

Having suffered from depression myself I can tell you that when you are depressed you do not see things as they really are. They are distorted by whatever is depressing you. Depression hurts both physically and mentally. Fortunately with the right kind of help the Vail of depression can be lifted and the distortion through which life is being seen soon becomes clear.

If you are still feeling suicidal what I would like you to do is pick up the phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker that you are planning to hurt yourself. The call taker will stay on the phone with you while help is sent to you.

The most likely response will be in the form of a fire department engine company from the closest fire station, an ambulance and a police officer. The police officer is being sent to protect you not to harm you or arrest you. It is the officers job to see to it that the proper help is provided you and most likely will follow to the hospital to insure you receive the proper care.

If you are not actively planning to hurt yourself then I would like you to call the following number:1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is the National Suicide Prevention Hot Line. No matter what problems you are dealing with, w they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

As lightoftruth says: We will not and cannot tell you how to die. What we will do is help you live. There is no problem to big or to small that cannot be rectified. All you have to do is ask for help. So please either call 911 or the hot line number I provided.

I am living proof that suicide is not the answer to your problem.

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