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My brother is behaving inappropriately towards me in a sexual way. How do I handle this?
At the end of November I found my biological siblings. I have a brother who is a 36 year old grown man. We bagan to talk through text and on the phone and seemed to gotten along well. My problem is that in the past month, he has sent me 3 digusting photos of his penis. I explained to him the first 2 times in a calm mannr that I am his sister and it is comple yr elt unacceptable behavior and makes me very uncomfortable. The third time, I lost my patience and decided to tell him like it was. He didnt seem to take me seriously...he is a great guy and we get along sooo well when he acts normal. Now I am in a debate whether to meet him and hope he processes it or run for the hills. I met with my biological sister and told her about him flirting with me, I did not tell her about his photos because I felt it was better unsaid. Is he not getting it? Maybe he is a creep?... Do I try and meet him? Help
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Not only is you brother being inappropriate towards you. He is sexually harassing you by sending inappropriate pictures to you over the Internet. Something else that can be deemed as illegal since you are not wanting or accepting of these pictures.
The sending of pornographic material to you does not make your brother a child molester as was his father, neither does it rule him out as one. Studies do show that if molested as a child molested children are more likely to molest as an adult. If your brother has children then this is something his wife needs to know about so she can take the appropriate action to protect her children.
As for you meeting with your brother? My advice would be that you do not. Instead I would advise that you once again tell him that his actions towards you are not acceptable, are unwarranted and illegal. That if they continues to harrass you you will have no choice but to report him to the police. You can decided if you want to tell him you have or will advice his wife of his actions should you decided to do so, if he is married w/children. If he is married and has children I would strongly suggest you do speak with your sister in-law so she can make sure her children have not been harmed.
You have done nothing wrong here and are the one being harmed. Nothing says that had you not been taken from your parents and adopted out what is happening would not have happened and may have happened sooner. It may have even lead to your brother molesting you as a younger sibling.
We can only advise you to do what we would do in your situation or what we feel is right in this situation. You have the final say in what you should do. As his children's Aunt if you suspect your brother may be a child molester, as much as it might hurt to advise his wife or even the police. You have every right and the responsibility to protect you niece or nephews from him.
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It is extremely inappropriate for him to do that, obviously. Anyways, I really don't think it would be a good idea to meet him. Even though he's your brother, he's kinda a creep and doesn't respect your boundaries.
I mean if you meet him, who knows what could happen. If you are ever alone with him, who knows what could happen.
If you decide that you do want to meet him, don't be alone. Have your sister with you.
But my advice would be not to meet him because it's really wrong of him to be doing that.
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Do NOT meet him again. I understand how it was important to find connection to family you weren't raised with. But I am afraid the connection he is thinking of is to have sex with you. At some point when the two of you are alone, there is great possibility of him forcing you and raping you.
Sending photos of his penis is NOT flirting.There is nothing innocent about that. Lots of people can sound great on the internet but you have no real idea until they are standing before you.
Also, it would be a good idea to let your sister know that he sent pics of his penis to you. If you want to still meet her in person, let her know it must be without him present because you are not comfortable with that. You say she has communicated feeling uncomfortable and shared alarming things about him. Women have great intuition, if she is sensing something is not right, then thats two of you feeling the same.
In all my years of dating on line, I never had a guy send me pics of his penis even if they said they found me sexy and wanted me real bad.
Yes...it is important to open this "can of worms". Why? Because it is like knowing there is a bomb that has been built into and is part of your house, sitting there with the timer ticking away and you have no way of knowing when it is going to go off. Level with your sister. And,
above all, you must listen to your inner voice which is saying "warning, warning"
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No, don't meet him. He's as creepy as creepy gets! For me, the first time he sent you a picture and you told him to stop was you giving him the benefit of the doubt. That's more than I would have done, I would have cut off contact immediately after that! You gave him another chance and then he broke that chance. He is CREEPY and a potential rapist/child molester. He's not taking your no seriously when you tell him to stop sending you photos of his penis, how do you know he'll take your no serious if he tries to rape you? I know that sounds extreme and unlikely, but no I think he's definitely capable. What kind of person sends those pictures to his sister, regardless of whether you grew up together or not? A disgusting pig, that's what. PLEASE for your own safety DO NOT meet him. You don't need to meet him in person to realize he's gross, disturbing, and needs some seriously professional help.
I know it sucks because you've just found your siblings but honestly, you do not want this person in your life. By all means, continue a relationship with your sister but seriously, your brother is trouble. Stay away from him.
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