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Will I really be forever alone?


Question Posted Friday April 26 2013, 11:57 pm

Well I have 2 best friends we'll start here. So the deal is me and D (one of the best friends) are simply well not pretty. While T (our other best friend) she is gorgeous. T gets all the boys. And me and D are I think the only ones in our grade who haven't been asked out. I am really good friends with boys, in fact I sometimes find a boy's company even more comforting. I have a lot of things in common with boys. For once, I am a gamer and I like scary moovies. Well my point is looks is the only feature boys notice which well I lack. Will I really be forever alone? And how shall I deal with T?

PS: sorry this is kinda hard to read and understand


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lightoftruth answered Saturday April 27 2013, 6:41 pm:
You will not be forever alone. If a guy gets with a girl only because he think she's hot, that will fade with age. She won't have that hot body when she's older and has children, ect.
So right now, that's mostly what teenage boys look at but when they're older, they look for something more than looks because they want a girl with a good personality, a girl who can work and take care of herself, a girl who can cook and a girl who can take care of him.
Honestly, I doubt you're ugly. But not only do the drop dead gorgeous girls get the boys. Genuinely nice, normal looking girls have a man. Girls who are considered ugly end up with somebody too. Society is screwed up, you don't need to have gorgeous looks to get a guy. Either way, since you're still in school, you have so much more time ahead of you to get a guy.

With your friend being the girl who gets asked out a lot, I can see how you feel. My best friend hung out with another friend who is very pretty, super nice, and an amazing girl all around. All the guys liked her. My best friend is pretty, but she felt like the shadow to her friend because she wasn't as outgoing and she thought of herself as ugly because of it and no guys asked her out. She would be counting all the boys that liked her friend.

I'm just going to advise you, don't be jealous of your friend, don't hate her for it or anything. If she's a good friend, then there is no need to feel bad around her. Do not compare yourself. One day you will find a guy who will love how you look, and will be happy with your great personality.

High school relationships don't always last, they do on rare occasions. So looking for a guy right now isn't the best thing because you don't know them and they care mostly about how hot a girl looks.
I've known girls who waited to start dating in college because that's when you see if a guy works and can pay his college bill. You'll see how often they complain about working or if they don't. You see more from them than you do in high school.

So just keep looking up and remember that your time will come.

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Dragonflymagic answered Saturday April 27 2013, 3:28 pm:
I understand what you wrote perfectly. Not hard to read. While in school, I never had attention from guys either. But once out of school, like you I had friendships with guys. In fact even today at my age, I still am more comfortable having male friends because females emotions are too up and down and all over the place for me.
You are so blessed at your age to have friendships with boys. The girls who have beauty will find that outward beauty begins to fade as they age. If they have no inner beauty, guys will be likely to dump them and they may end up miserable divorced singles, compared to you married to a wonderful man.

Boys at your age are more driven by hormones and therefore they go for the looks, not because they like who the girl is inside, but only because they hope to get kisses, groping in, or have sex.
Some of your gamer friends may have interest in trying dating and romance, but I'll bet that more of them are happier with just a friendship with girls. Many more graduate high school virgins than you think. It is not because they are gay or have something wrong with them sexually...they have the urges too. But they are using their school age times around girls as practice to using self control and not indulging in sexual activities just for the sake of experiencing it or indulging in their lust.
The boys you currently hang out with are also learning how to have a friendship first with a female, they want to learn all about how a girl thinks, her likes and dislikes. Girls are very mysterious creatures and the boys who take the time to understand them and learn how to have conversation and care about them just like their best friends are the ones who will be better choices as dating, romance and future husband material. They will be the ones who cherish all about you, not just the outside. And yet, they get that look in their eyes that shows passion, love for you. That is something that can't be faked. Though I am average in looks as my husband is, he tells me all the time how beautiful I am.

It gets even better girl. Listen to this...the boys who learn at some point (maybe during school days) to control their sexual needs and desires are the ones who ultimately are going to make the better lovers as adults than the boys who went to take care of their sexual needs in school. The guys who didn't go after the beauties because of their hormones, are more likely to take the time to please their woman first sexually before getting their release. Instead of having a guy who cums in minutes and then leaves the woman totally unfulfilled, they have a man who will spend an hour, hours pleasing his woman first.
At your age, though the guys dating your gorgeous friend don't initially always engage in sex, that is where it eventually leads. It is instantly gratifying to the guy but not to the girl because young boys are not thinking of pleasing the girl first.Your gorgeous friend may come crying one day to tell you her boyfriend dumped her because she wouldn't give him sex, or worse, she engaged in sex and is pregnant!

So, Enjoy friendships with boys right now. You're way ahead of the girls who have outer beauty.

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adviceman49 answered Saturday April 27 2013, 10:16 am:
I wish I knew your age as it would be easier to answer you if I did.

Let me start by saying everyone has their own beauty. Some people have outer beauty which attract people like a magnet while on the inside they are down right ugly. Most (boys and girls)of us though are not all that beautiful on the outside but we have an inner beauty or quality that shines brightly once you get to know us. It is this beauty that people look for when they start looking for a life partner.

Right now if I am guessing your age correctly, you are in your early teens. At this age boys look only at the packaging, the outer beauty for they are lustful by nature. They have just one thing on their minds. This is a hormonal reaction, thus the slang word horny, to the early stages of puberty. Once they gain control over their hormones, which they eventually will. They will become more selective in who they want to date as they will be looking for a life mate. The package now becomes less important for they want someone they can inter-act with on many levels.

When giving advice on related questions to yours. One thing I constantly ad is that sex is wonderful and has a place in everyone's life. But if you base an entire relationship on sex alone that relationship is doomed to fail as one day you will wake up and want or need to actually speak with each other. This is when you will find you have nothing in common.

Short answer to your question is NO, you will not be alone all your life. You do have that inner beauty men/boys look for in a life partner I can see this in your writing. Also you're still growing and your body an facial features are still changing and maturing so your outer packaging is changing.

When it does do not let the outer packaging be the only reason a boy or man wants to be with you as his interest will still be mostly lustful. Save what they are looking for to share with a man who would make a good life partner for you. You may not find him on the first try but you will find him. The one thing you don't want is a reputation as a girl who will give in to a boys lust just to get a date.

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