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my mom has been physically and mentally abusing me
I am 24 years old but i am mentally retarded at least that's what my mom says. my mom has been sick with brain tumors for almost 2 years now. I will give you an example of the abuse if that helps. The other day I was trying to move a love seat for my mom it fell on my foot I screamed she called me a bitch and any other word she could possibly think of . she also hit me in the head 3 times with her fists as hard as could screaming you stupid bitch I hate you, you can't do anything right . I mean wouldn't you scream if a love seat fell on your foot. I think you would. I didn't have shoes on either . she threatened to take my phone away if I screamed like that again even though i pay for the phone myself. I have been contemplating suicide the other day I took 8 Tylenol at 1 on time because my head hurt so bad when she hit me in the head with her fists. I don't want to press charges because of her condition and I don't feel like I can move out because she is raising 3 of her grand kids by herself in her condition and i am the only daughter out of 3 who is willing to stick by her no matter how mean she gets what should I do please help i am at my wits end and about to have a nervous break down and about ready to put and end to it all .
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hi there I suggest that you move out if you are able to that is. I have no relationship with my mother she is a drug addict. Your relationship with your mother can be repaired but you need time away from her and suicide is not the solution nothing in this world is worth it just always remember if your believe in god he doesn't give us more than we can handle it all makes you stronger. I tried suicide one but I am thankful that I didn't succeed god had bigger plans for me I had a son a 1 1/2 years after I tried to kill myself and he is a blessing. What I'm trying to say is that you and your mother need to work on your relationship but you need to move out she depends on you to much it seems to me and suicide is never the answer so please don't ever think about that again.
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Adviceman covered every thing well so I will just echo a point. My husband has a friend from his past who got married to a wonderful man. Unfortunately for about 5 years now that man has had a condition he is slowly dieing from. He is in great pain all the time. The wife is his total caregiver. His condition has totally changed his behavior so that he abuses his wife the same way you are experiencing with your mom. He screams and yells verbal abuse and hits her all the time. During his few lucid moments, he has no recollection of how he treated her and says he is sorry. She won't listen to reason from my husband and reach out for professional help. So in his contact with her, my husband has seen her health begin to go downhill quickly due to the stress. She is beginning to show some very major illnesses herself that may take her life early in the end.
I share this story because, out of the relationship of husband/wife she felt it her duty to stay by his side and that is good, but it is not her duty to willingly be emotionally and physically abused. You are in the same position with a mother/daughter relationship that is a precious relationship when both individuals are healthy and not changed dangerously by an illness or physical condition.
You must seek help for yourself and the grandchildren...your nieces and nephews.
Life sometimes throws us curve balls like this..something we never expected we'd need to deal with but deal with it you must. It's a hard thing at 24 to see your own mom affected this way. Don't let your love for her prevent you from placing her with medical professionals who can handle her outbursts because there is a whole team of people to work with her in the care facility. Her outbursts will continue and be directed onto the medical personnel if there isn't something that can be done to heal her. Your nieces and nephews have already had a hard piece of life if for whatever reason they are not able to be raised by their own mom...your sister. That is enough emotional trauma for them to carry for life, not having their mom. That alone is enough to create feelings of abandonment and other psychological problems that crop up later in life. Add to that living under the same roof with your ailing mom...that will only compound the problems for them and could possibly destroy their lives in the end result. Even if she only yells and hits you and not them, it is the same as any child growing up in a home where Dad beats mom and maybe the kids too or maybe not.But kids will be affected even if not touched just by witnessing others being mistreated.
I know an adult woman friend who remembers shaking in fear that he would find her and beat her too before he conked out in drunken stupor. She still recalls what it felt like to hear the screams of agony of her siblings as he beat them. I can tell you right now that all the counseling she's gotten has not had much of an impact on the emotional, psychological scarring she still carries. And it really does affect her life.
Please talk to doctors and get some help for the household, your life and those of the younger children depend on it.
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From what you have written I would be hard pressed to see you as mentally retarded but that is a question for a different time.
Right now though your question is what to do about your mom and how she is treating you. Yes she is abusing you both mentally and physically which needs to stop. Some of the things I would need to know are; since I think her brain tumor is an underlying cause is:
1)Is this tumor a in operable and a terminal condition.
2) Is her abuse of you something that has only started since the tumor has been diagnosed or has she been this way towards you before then. If so how long has this been going on.
3) Is she abusive to the grandchildren she is raising.
If the answer to number 3 is yes and the answer to number 2 only since the diagnoses of the tumor or has gotten worse since then.
Then what I suggest you do is speak to the her doctor about what is happening. For it may mean the tumor is getting larger causing her to be the way she is. The doctor would then discuss with you different ways to deal with this and may even recommend you Nieces and Nephews be taken from her care.
Their may be some medication he can prescribe to help her with the pain she is having and the personality change. The doctor may also want to put her into a care faculty where there are people trained to care for her and relieve you as the care give.
This is what I suggest if it is the tumor causing the problem. IF it is not the tumor causing the problem then you must take care of yourself and not let her drive you so deep into depression that you want to hurt yourself.
If she has physically hurt you to the point that 8 Tylenol, which is more than the recommended dosage and is harmful, would not help you. The you need to either move out or charge her with assaulting you. You are an adult and even if you where a child she has no right to hit you on the head. As an adult she has no right to hit you or discipline you.
You also need to talk to a doctor for medication to deal with the depression her abuse of you has caused as well as a therapist to speak with to help you deal with all this.
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