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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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I am 17 and I have a huge crush on this cute guy who I work with which is 19. I want to ask him out to the cinemas but how do I ask him? And if he says yes, what would you do after the movie has finished?

How d i ask for his number?

How much do you chat at work? How I personally go about something like this depends on if I have ever talked to the person before or to what extent or if we're good friends at work and talk often.

So if you've never talked to him before, start up a conversation with him and after the conversation, you say you enjoyed chatting with him alot and would like to do more of the same, and ask if he doesnt mind trading numbers with you. If he isn't willing to trade numbers, he likely isn't interested enough to accept a date to the movies. If he says yes, chat on the phone with him and then ask if he'd like to go to a movie. In chats, find out what genre of movie he likes as well as music and books, etc. That makes it easier to suggest a certain movie when the time comes.
If you do already chat alot at work and are very friendly with each other and he seems to like you but hasn't made any move, just come straight out and ask if he'd like to go to a movie. If he's shy he might want to but too shy to ask you first.

After a movie, go to a restaurant or fast food place, and sit and talk. Talk is important in getting to know each other. Discuss the movie for one thing and move on the other topics. If you feel nervous or don't know what to say, best thing is to admit cus once you get that piece of news out to him, rather than worry and be anxious, your fears will go away, you'll relax and he won't think less of you cus he probably has the same happen to him at times.

Okay so I'm my great grandmas secret Santa. I don't know what to get her, but I don't know what she likes. She doesn't really do anything but lay in bed and watch the news. My mom told me to just give her money but she pulled me as her secret Santa (yeah I know, my family doesn't keep secrets very well) and the bugdet was $25 so if I just straight up gave her the $25 back (oh yea btw she gave me my gift early, we are really messed up) then it wouldn't really make sense. That's why I want to buy her something, but I just don't know what, please help!!

Usually, when we get to that age, there's nothing much we need or things we've never had so it IS hard to buy for older people. One thing that has helped me is think of what collections she has that she might enjoy having added to. Examples: collections of trinket boxes or containers,(found one that had the bottom of Noahs ark as container made of resin and the lid all the animals sticking heads out of windows) the tiny blown glass animals, anything about owls, butterflies, hummingbirds or whatever her favorite thing to collect, then chose a figurine, a mug with it on it, a kitchen towel and mitt with the favorite thing on it. Warm slippers or socks are always a good bet. Some families get nothing but slippers and socks and others like mine are doing without and need them so in my family this year, almost everyone is getting slippers from me. Ask your mom for help with picking out her favorite cologne if she still wears any. If nothing sounds right and she is not diabetic, buy a Christmas mug and fill it with Christmas treats and tie a baggie of more to the handle. I did that one year when I couldn't afford much. Hope this helps. Times almost up so hurry to the stores.

I've been having an annoying hard to describe besides saying burning/uneasy feeling in my lower back making it hard to stay still at night and it goes into my legs. My Dr is going to do an MRI of it buy I've had physical therapy which did nothing and he's tried nerve medicine (pamalor) which seems to help some what but they have to keep uping my dosage or the feeling breaks through. Has anyone heard of OE dealt with anything like this? I'm 22 make by the way.

We're not medical doctors and unable to give any advice. I would advise you though in case someone describes a similar condition not to just assume that's what you have but do mention it to your Dr. I did a web search and came up with a few hits and chose this one to share:
http://www.listentoyourpain.com/sacrum.html

It goes into explaining why there is leg pain (sciatica/sciatic nerve pain) with problems in the sacrum. Tears in the nerves or pinched nerves are the most common causes. If you Dr. has tried everything and no help, ask about referral to a Chiropractor. I've heard they deal with pinched nerves in the back besides the back being misalined.

14/f. There are 2 guys, A and B. I have liked guy A for a really long time and have a strong liking for him. I have only liked guy B for a short amount of time and I don't really like him that much. One of my friends told them both that I like them but she told A that I like B more. Now I don't know if A likes me because he thinks I like B more then him. I just want to date A because we would be so cute! I don't know what to do because I think B is going to ask me out and idk if I want to say yes because I don't want to give up on A. Please help!!!!!

First, just because a guy asks you out, you are not obligated to go out with him. So if B asks and you don't care for him, just tell him nicely that you are not interested in him right now, no matter what he may have heard from others.
Then you talk to A and let him know you've liked him for a long time and you are aware that some others may have told him you are actually interested more in B, and you want him to know that isn't true. You might let him know that anytime in the future that he hears anything concerning you, he's welcome to come and ask you rather believe gossip. Then, rather than wait for A to ask you out, you ask him out. Girls can ask out boys these days you know.

Wht doesn't my dad care about me anymore

You haven't provided enough information for us to know what is happening that cause you to believe Dad doesn't care about you anymore. Sometimes there are kids growing up in a happy, normal home with caring parents and the parents try to show love and care to all their children the same way as they learned to do with their first, so though they believe they are giving you what you need, it doesn't communicate to you that they care.

If this is a recent change and you know your Dad cared before but now it seems he doesn't? Then perhaps something big, a major change in his life that he is focusing on takes his attention away from you. Maybe money problems, loss of job, separated or divorced now from your mom, a major illness for him or another family member, a death in the family? There are many things that can take up a person's attention, even grown ups. Some times, the best thing you can do is start the communication process by letting him or your mom, know how you are feeling and how it bothers you. That way, if the parent is not doing every in the best way possible, they can choose to make some changes to focus on you more and maybe in different ways that mean more to you. If the problem doesnt lay with Dad but how you are seeing and interpreting things, then he can reassure you that He loves and cares for you.

I can't recall when it started but I can only assume it has something to do with my ADD. Lately, whenever I try to focus on my work I see things changing, like colors fading or my vision gets blurry, but my school work is starting to appear as a different language. Not as in I just don't understand, but the letters morph and it begins to appear either Russian or Korean. Sometimes the letters begin to rearrange themselves and appears Latin. This doesn't occur too often, but I'm curious to know what it could possibly be. Is it confusion on a higher level or just some sort of unusual mental thing that I have? On or off my usual medication, it happens.

I've heard of people waking from comas and speaking,reading and writing another language. What you mention doesn't sound the same. But since both have to do with the mind, even though both conditions are different and sound rare to me, I am sure that medical professionals will at least have a clue what is happening and whether in your case, other than coma, there may be some medical condition, ADD or something more serious that may be causing it. It is worth calling your Dr. and mentioning it and asking if it is anything to be concerned about.

I do not know What to say

Is it that you have a problem with the fact that he is shy or that he texts your girlfriend on FB? Or are you interested in him at all, or not? You didn't give an age. Depending on your age, the parents may have some guidelines and rules for you on dating. So the possibilities of what I could suggest are quite a few.
If you parents won't let you date til 15,16 and you are 13, 14, then let him know that your parents won't let you officially date yet but you do like him and want to spend time with him. Then ask the parents if a friend who is a boy can come over to hang out while they're home. Some parents, (me included) are more comfortable with something supervised by them loosely, with the boy visiting at your house.

If you don't like that he is texting a friend and not you, then ask him why he texts your girlfriend and doesnt text you but wants to ask you out. He may have a perfectly good explanation. Then decide to accept or not.
If you are an introvert and very talkative and he being shy, you don't feel you'd have enough in common, then say so, "Um Josh, I know you're kinda shy and I am very outgoing? Since I really don't know you well except for that one fact, I'm not sure we'd have anything in common. So I am not sure about accepting to date unless I knew a little more about you. Would you be willing to talk with me for some time first or at least on FB/or other social site first?

If it doesnt matter whether he is shy or talks to your girlfriend, and there's no restrictions on dating, then tell him, you'd love to go out with him and suggest some places that you would like to go together, whether hanging out at the mall, at a fast food place or your house or his.

I don't understand my sister at all. I try my best to be polite to her and she snaps at me. It's become a habit of my mom to ask her if it's that time of the month for her and it isn't. My sister had told me numerous times that I have no friends and nobody likes me and that I should kill myself. She has a sense of humor that I don't appreciate and have had to ask her multiple times to stop, but she just tells me to quit being a stupid bitch and suck it up. I recall one event similar to this where she said something that offended me and I asked her not to say that to me again. She yelled at me saying "freedom of speech, you stupid fuck!" She also encourages her friends to talk shit about me. I don't understand why she behaves this way towards me. Why does she hate me so much?

How long has she truly acted like this? All I know is that she is younger than you. Considering she has a monthly cycle, and you both live at home, she could be anywhere from beginning of puberty and having a monthly cycle to being older.
Think back and try to remember if she acted like this towards you before puberty, before starting to mature and finally getting her period.

Chances are great that this all started once she hit puberty and has gotten worse. What happens for some girls is that they end up having more than the normal amount of hormones coursing through their bodies and this causes their emotions to go haywire.It does to some extent with all females, more weepy, or easily irritated, quick to anger. You probably remember that. However in some cases, it is to the extreme that the girl's whole personality changes and/or she can becomes very hateful, mean, vindictive, unreasonable, etc. basically impossible to live with. There has never been any good reason for a female in puberty to turn on another female, and there's no way to predict who it will be, but usually someone close like mom or a sister become their target or their friends, even female teachers, etc. They don't plan who to attack so viciously, and it is nothing you have done to garner such hateful behavior from her. But it is a real problem and worth looking into. The treatment is simple. Mom would need to be aware of this possibility (show her my response) and Mom take your sis to Dr. for a checkup. She will need to explain the change in personality,behavior, hateful treatment of you and wanting to have her hormones checked to see if they are too high, sometimes even too low can cause problems of a different sort. Dr.s can give a simple treatment for her and she will become her loving self again if that was the case. It's worth a try. Good luck.

I'm a fourteen year old female girl. I happen to very much like one of my friends, Daniel, who is four years older than I. Some background information- the people I hang out with are mostly seniors in high school, and guys. I'm a freshman. We're all pretty nerdy- Nethack and Pokémon and Magic: The Gathering and Academic Team and science and math dominate most of our conversations. Understand I'm not some naïve little girl; my friends are all very honest, harmless guys. Don't let warnings of danger dominate your advice, please. Point of it is, I really like this guy, Daniel. He's ridiculously smart and taught me how to play Magic and introduced me to Nethack and his favorite band, which is now one of my favorites. The way he talks about things... he speaks as though he came from the eighteenth century at times, and then there's so much substance to the things he says. Riding home from academic team one day, I was watching him play Pixel Dungeon. He told me to sit next to me so I could watch easier, which I did, and I sort of just leaned against him the entire time. It was like half an hour, and I felt so warm and happy and vaguely sleepy and content, like I could stay there forever with no complaints. He refuses to cuss or say anything inappropriate. He's never had a girlfriend, he's very concerned with being polite. He's like a math genius, and he and I talk infinite geometric sequences and Nethack and music and stuff. He and I have things in common. Like... when explaining something, I'm often more lost in my own thoughts than talking to the other person. He does the same sort of thing. We both have a terrible work ethic and are always doing school work at the last second. People tend to be confused by either one of us easily. He's so funny and both gets and makes the sort of nerdy jokes I love. We both hate Pokémon and love Nethack and always use correct grammar. He's taken every math and science class offered at our high school, and I intend on doing the same. We both stay up way too late and fall asleep at inconvenient times throughout the day. We both speak quietly and don't cuss. I catch him looking at me if I'm talking to someone else near him sometimes, and we bring up things we talked about weeks ago throughout any conversation, and he always smiles and tries to make me laugh. I often can't help just looking deeply into his eyes, it's so easy to do, and I think he might look at me the same? At the very least, he always smiles. We text a lot, too. Always while playing Nethack, and one time with a showdown of "What's the next number I the Fibonacci sequence?" to 301, I won. Never before has he shown any interest in dating anyone, but he never says anything about anything like that. My little sister says he's asexual, but I don't think he is. I don't know.... what's the possibility that he likes me? Should I tell him I like him? How should I tell him?

Since you've known him for a while and have spent time together already, logic would say that by now you would have a good idea if you like the person or not, and that means, by now he has had time to figure out how he feels about you. Considering you wont see him in school next year and he might be off to college elsewhere, you may not be seeing much of each other. Things change and it may be more difficult to keep in touch but if you both have discussed this beforehand, you can at least be determined to stay in touch and find times to visit, especially if you both really value each other's friendship. If there is a possibility of anything more like romance, it would feel pretty depressing to start down that path only to have his college years interfere if he's far enough away to come visit. It's future possibilities like this, including of course his being an adult and you by law not yet so defined that can land him in jail if some person were cruel enough to say something. If the two of you have never revealed your sexual preference, most mature people can figure that out without having sex, then you may want to cover that too so you don't give yourself a false hope for something more than may never be possible. I think you'd know if he was gay, it's the Asexuals that are harder to tell because they can become emotionally attached to a person, just not sexually, although some still do to an extent.
There's nothing wrong with maintaining your friendship until the time you turn 18 and then the both of you can move into the sexual phase of the relationship.
So start with a statement from you before straight out asking him. like: I enjoy you as a person very much. I value your friendship, in fact, I feel like you are my 'closest friend, or best friend.' Next year without you in high school will be very hard for me. So I am wondering exactly how you feel about me cus if you feel the same, I'd like to know what your plans are, if going to college or not and how we will keep in touch.
That should work.

People need compliments, affirmations, positive feedback. That includes close friends or for couples, one's mate.
Too often, we all assume a person can tell our feelings for them only by our actions. Actions do speak louder than words but actions and behavior can certainly lead a person to think one thing when it's actually another. However the words only without back up of actions/behavior, mean nothing.

14/f
me and my ex are thinking of dating again but i kinda dont think its goin to happen any more cuz i told him he wasnt a gentleman and he got really pissed of and he said to forget about hugging and kissing him and i told him i was sorry over txt ,he wouldnt txt me back and i tried calling him but he didnt pick up and i really need some help on figuring out how to get him to not be mad at me and forgive me (fyi i dont actually think hes not a gentleman)please respond asap thank you

I am glad to hear that you told him he wasn't a gentleman. Females have to learn how to let a guy know upfront what the boundaries and rules are. You get to call the shots. You also make clear what is and isn't acceptable. Women who tell a guy what they expect up front will in their life, get respect from men and attract only the guys worth attracting in the first place.
Problem in teen years is that females are sooo hungry for attention from a male, that they will put up with anything just to get it. There's such a thing as good attention and bad attention. A young child ignored by parents and not shown love will act up and do bad things just to get attention, it will be a focus on them alright, but in anger and punishment, but the kid accomplished what they wanted, getting attention, even if it was a negative type. You don't want to encourage negative behavior in guys. Unfortunately females do when a guy misbehaves, you tell him its not acceptable and he gets upset. Then to get him back, you say you're sorry.
Saying sorry sends him the message that you are sorry you called you out on not being a gentleman, that you won't do it again and that you will put up with however he wants to treat you, even if it's something as bad as cheating or physical or emotional abuse. If he does call/text you back ever, let him know it was a weak moment and that you are not sorry that you told him what you expect from a guy who wishes to date you. If he can't agree to be the way you want, then you let him go. There are plenty of other guys out there. Girls think they might never find another boyfriend cus they are waiting for the boy to ask her. Decide what you want a boyfriend to be like, start watching the guys at school until you think you may have found someone like that, and remember you can't judge a book by it's cover. He may not look like a jock by still be okay looking. Ask the boy if he's like to hang out with you some time. Dating is like an investigative period where you find out and learn more about the guy to determine if you even want to become his girlfriend or not. If he seemed nice but eventually shows that he isn't, then stop seeing him and go on to the next. You will make mistakes in choosing a guy to ask, but as soon as you discover, he has some major faults, and doesnt treat you well, you let him go, that is the key, and you don't go back to him or that send the message that you don't mean what you say and his rotten behavior is actually accceptable to you. Also, do not say things that are not true to a guy, calling names when its not true is not acceptable just cus you were ticked off about something else maybe his fault or maybe not at all. A guy can not improve for you on a point you don't like unless you tell him. But there are good ways to do it and bad ways. Do you like being reprimanded by someone, something totally unexpected? It feels like a knife being stabbed into your heart to recieve criticism. He's human and will feel the same way. I don't know what the offense was so its hard for me to give an example. If you feel he is basically a good guy but just needs to be trained, (yes, it's much like training a pet, teehee)then correct him nicely also giving encouragement. But just for teaching purpose, let's say he put you down in front of friends, bringing up a private issue in public,embarassing you. Mind you, this is calling him on it the first time, not letting it go for half a dozen times before you say something, cus in the waiting to tell him, you've already lost the ability to be taken seriously. So, on the wrong side, you'd be joining him in his game. "Eric, you are such an asshole of a boyfriend for putting me down in front of my friends. You're being a child, grow up Eric. That's not being a gentleman at all." You have just attacked him personally and done it with an audience, same as he did to you so you don't look any better to him and he will respond in anger.
A better way, "Eric, I need to talk to you a moment in private, please step outside with me." If he wont, you leave him and the area. Wait until next time the two of you are alone to bring it up. If he will follow you, heres a sample of what can be said, "Eric, I have seen some good qualities in you such as you being so loving and gentle with animals that I know you to be a good guy. So, I don't know if you were aware of what you just did back there and feel you need to know because what you did hurt me. You brought up personal things between us in front of everyone and since you might have been in a bad mood or angry, you also put me down calling me an idiot. So I want to discuss some ground rules that are important if we are to continue to date. First, I will only accept being treated with respect. So having a private discussiion in public, will never be acceptable to me. I am more than willing to talk to you in private if you have something to discuss. Also, there should never be any name calling between us, Neither of us should call names, degrade each other, or yell at each other. I will treat you with respect and talk things out like the adults we're learning to become and expect the same from you. This is an extremely serious issue to me, so serious, that if it happens one more time, I will break up with you and not be willing to get back with you even with an apology but apology's don't change a person and make them better, only your wish inside to change to become a better person and better boyfriend will work. I want to be the best girlfriend too, so if there is something I do that you don't like, let me know so I won't repeat it again. Can we agree on this?"

i know it's a lot to remember, but you have to read and re read and just the basic gist down of what to say. Starting with a complimet, including yourself in the rules, not that it applies only to him and then asking for his agreement. If a guy listens to you but says nothing or doesnt promise to agree to the terms, you have accomplished nothing. Giving him another chance without his agreement, means you can expect him to mess up royal again and very soon because he doesnt care and actually plans to act the same, perhaps cus he feels theres nothing wrong with himself and that you are just a nagging female. If that's his attitude, you're better off, letting him go and not go crawling back to him ever.

I have a dilema.Its bugging me.Pricking at my gut and wont leave me alone.I have been pursuing this guy for a very very long time.We will be moving in together soon.We are in a long distance relationship.During our time,we never said we were boyfriend and girlfriend,but we have been flirty and the whole bit. I was on his Instagram,and found a photo of him kissing another woman,who was at the time his girlfriend.Even on Facebook,it is listed and posted that he was in a relationship with her. This lasted from May 2013-January 2014. He and I talked so much during that time.Never once did he tell me about her.He took time to post on social media about his relationship,but never to me.They photos of them kissing,having fun,the whole bit.Its as if I never even existed.Obviously,Im deeply hurt. Im hurt because he already knew I loved him,he already knew I cared and had feelings,and yet still he went to be with her. Why didnt he tell me?
Why was I left out in the cold?
Why did he lie?
Should I mention this now? Or should mention it when I finally get there to see him.
I have know about this for 3 months,and it bothers me at my gut every single day
Am I wrong because I felt this?
Was he right or wrong?
Just because we didnt make a full commitment to one another,we did confess we had feelings for each other and liked eachother.
Please,my gut is punching at me.

You will have to decide for yourself what you want to do based on what criteria you have for a guy you date. If you've never given it a thought other than "I want him to be attractive and a nice guy", that's not good enough. What character traits go into the making of this 'nice guy' you are looking for?? I know you think he is the one for you, so though hurt, you may be willing to overlook some things if he says 2 simple words, "I'm sorry." But words like that or 'I love you' are just words unless the person speaking them can prove over time that they mean it by how they back up those words with the right actions. And this is what helps build trust with someone over time, that they can back up their words with action, that they are consistant, and that is how you get to know who they are at core, their core values. Right now, if going by his actions to determine what his core values are deep inside, you already know they are not good. Yes, you heard me right. There's something wrong with his values. Right now you're thinking of yourself, and not focusing on where he was messing up with the other girl. I understand the two of two made no commitment to each other verbally. What if he had done that, and yet still had the relationship with her at the same time. See what I mean about words backed up by action. Now here's something else to help you see what's going on here. If you feel you can't totally blame him for anything because of no promises made, then pretend for a moment you are that other girl. During the time he made a commitment to date you, he also went on line to seek out a new friendship with a girl and he flirts with her. If you were her, and your boyfriend is flirting on line with another woman, would you think your boyfriend was really a great catch, one of the 'good' boyfriends, a keeper?

Now you need to decide whether flirting on line is really cheating or not. If you are okay with that, no need to bring up how you were hurt, because if it's really okay with you, then it wouldn't be something that hurt you. If you are not okay with it, well you can bring up the conversation and listen to his side of it without dramatics as already said.
No matter what explanation he gives, put yourself in the other girls shoes and then decide if what he is doing is still Kosher with you. If he says, "Well, I discovered we didn't have enough in common so I was gonna dump her once I found someone else." If you were the other girl, would you want to fight to get back a guy who couldn't be honest with you, didn't feel romance with you, doesn't have proper social ethics and possibly doesn't wish to be monogamous, either in dating or marriage. Doesn't sound like a keeper to me.

Too many women are willing to settle for less and will put up with this nonsense so young men grow up into older & older men who still haven't the faintest clue what women really need and want from a guy and what they won't put up with because women have been willing to take whatever scraps of attention the guy will toss her, much like a pet dog sits under the table expectantly looking at you, waiting for you to toss it some table scraps. You need to give serious thought to what you want from a man, the man who you will hopefully end up long term, maybe life long with. He has to be great enough boyfriend/husband material right now without a single change made, because changes for the better are not 100% for sure going to happen.
So the only thing you can count on right now is where he is at right now as a man with whatever morals, character and beliefs and values he has if any.
Lastly, I will share that the internet, or even phone calls, from a person you've never spent time with in person, is nothing more than theater of the mind. A person can easily hide things from the other on line, pretend and take on a role like an actor on stage. Also, this is not the venue in which trust can grow. I found my 2nd husband online dating. I literally had a few hundred guys write to me. I learned quickly that no matter how much I liked them on line, it was important to take a relationship from online to face to face asap if I wanted the relationship to have a fighting chance if he truly was the good guy I felt he was or to meet and give him the opportunity to show me who he truly was at core, his true colors...and if it was anything at all that i wasn't willing to live with one year let alone til my dying day, then I dumped them if dating, or if just meeting first time, told them I wasn't interested after all. If a guy has major problems, he is not going to be willing to work on them and will be pointing the finger at others and saying they are the ones with issues.

I understand you have feelings for him, whether he has any for you remains to be seen. Unless the man is polyamorous, one usually doesnt have deep feelings/love for two or more at the same time, and one who is truly poly and understands the concept knows it calls for total honesty with everyone involved, advising both his other girlfriend and you that he is polyamorous, so that if you can't handle him openly having relationships with more than one female, and being okay with you having other guys you love as well, then he is not polyamorous, and in my book, should be avoided.
It's possible for men dating, to have conversations occasionally with females he knows, co workers, a girl he grew up with who is a close friend still but she's also in a relationship and there is no romance between them. If he has nothing to hide, he will explain to you who these women are, how he came to know them before I can discover about them or have to ask. He will also let his childhood female friends, or any female friends know that he has found a woman or is married to her so that they are aware of you. I hope this gives you something to think about and helps you sort out some issues cus frankly, I'd be leery of moving in together with someone like this.

My girlfriend of almost a year is the girl I want to and am planning to spend the rest of my life with.Shes perfect to me. But here's the thing, when we met she had a boyfriend, a fat, immature, poser(he's white and says the n word,wears a SnapBack,says eminem is the only good rapper alive,etc...).I convinced her to break up with him and we fell in love.Now I lost my virginity to her but she lost it to him.When I imagine that guy on top of her, I get insecure,mad,sad,jealous,etc..She says she regrets it,I believe her but still. Now the other day she told me this guy we both know was hitting on her and I laughed about it...then she told me "have you seen him in sweatpants ,looks like he has a 3rd leg or a really big water bottle in there.." Ever since then I haven't been able to look at her out of jealousy and insecurity, I mean why would she tell me that,was that really necessary,I'm confident with my size but it's not a damn 3rd leg.... So how do I get over it and just move on?plz help

I've attended a class which went over the topic of jealousy in relationships. What I was told is that jealousy is nothing more than an indicator that something is wrong and that some investigating is needed to determine what the underlying issues are. Same as an indicator light on your cars dashboard. If you ignore it, something is going to get worse. If you look under the hood or have a mechanic do it, you'll discover what is wrong.
The problem with jealousy is that people do not want to dig deep into their own psyche to uncover and discover what might be causing their jealousy. Jealousy usually has at it's roots, a fear of loss. It can cover many things, a fear of loss of life, loss of job or means to an income, loss of someone in your life. For some reason, you fear losing your girlfriend. It can be a rational fear, or un-rational. In myself, and in others who have shared with me, I find that most these fears have no base in reality. But I am no psychologist, I have simply made some observations in life. If you take the time, you may discover what is really at the bottom of your fears that cause your jealousy. However, if you do, you'll realize that it means there are some adjustments or changes you personally need to make in your thinking at the very least, or perhaps in your behavior as well. Not picking on you sir, it's just human nature to prefer to not know that something inside us needs improvement, so we tend to point the finger at others and say its their fault we feel jealous. It is your choice, if that's what you end up preferring to do but you will never get past your jealousy.
You can't go tearing apart everything she's ever done or said and find fault there. When she made her comments about the '3rd leg', and you laughed, that encouraged her to joke with you even more. If she really was impressed that way about a guy, she honestly wouldn't be confessing it to you man, think about it. Would you go telling your girlfriend that some girl hitting on you had boobs the size of bowling balls if you really wanted to get involved with that girl? No, you wouldn't. If the other girl meant nothing to you, you'd have no problem joking about how she looked, and joke to the extreme like that. Most women in truth are an average size inside unable to accomodate someone the size of a water bottle. I don't know if there's a one in a million men, porn star that size but its highly unlikely. It is either impossible or a man smaller than that still is too big and it would be painful to her. I can attest to that, a man too long for me, well...it was very painful every time we tried. He hit some nerves that sent horrible charlie horse cramps down my legs. I gave up on him. Men get too whacked out about their size, comparing theirselves to others and believing themselves to be lacking somehow. I've dated enough men and have not found them lacking in penis size, just lacking in personality, maturity, their core values. I find it ironic that the very thing you may be fearing, that she will be easily stolen away by a guy she finds to be 'better' than you, is the very thing you did with her and the ex boyfriend, whom by your description, you believe to be of lesser quality as a male than yourself, so you convinced her to leave him. Perhaps the fear you might have buried in your subconscious, that you may not even be aware of, is that some guy will be able to do the same thing you did, and convince her to leave you. And you fear it will be over penis size. If you believe her to be that shallow and she is, why are you with her. If she is not that shallow, and yet you still think this of her, then my opinion, she could do better by leaving you. And perhaps, that is your true fear, knowing deep down that it is penis size you are lacking but some other personality traits. I am sorry to make it seem I am attacking you. That is not my intention. I am truly trying to be helpful in getting you to really want to do some honest self examination. For all I know, you might be a great catch for a boyfriend. But if so, then how would you explain away the jealousy you are feeling otherwise. I wish you the best. The fact you wrote asking for advice tells me, that there is a good chance for you to do the right thing, face your fears, and come to grips with your thought processes that have brought you to this point. Good Luck.

I really like this boy. He seems to like me too. He approaches me most of the time. he always sits with me at lunch and he makes me feel special.i really suck at basketball and during gym he came over and helped me.and he was very close . He seems to find ways to be near me or touch me(not sexually just like a hug) The thing is I feel like He sees me as just a friend. He likes another girl but he doesn't talk to her anymore. He's also really unsympathetic towards everything. But we were talking and he could tell something was wrong and he actually felt bad, he was actually very comforting and I wanted to tell him how I felt so badly. so I'm just confused as to how he feels and what he wants.

If a girl approached you and treated you like this, would you question what she wants? Maybe, maybe not. But if a girl who wants to be your friend shows she really cares, you wouldn't think she was just messing with you, would you. You'd accept her friendship if she treated you so nicely and with lots of caring. That's where any good relationship with a boy should start, with friendship. The only thing with the opposite sex, (if you're hetero) is that there is the added benefit of romance if the two of you both have those kind of feelings too.
Although, it's possible to have a male as a friend only, I think most guys are drawn to wanting to be near a girl they are attracted to, and the good ones approach her for friendship to start with, rather than approaching her for sex right at the start. If you like him so far, spend more time getting to know him, talking will help and if you still like him, later ask if he see's you as just a friend or if he has any romantic feelings towards you. Good luck.

Here the past few year I have noticed me getting more impatient, stressed and short tempered with a lot of people. And its not just people its messing with some things as well. The best way I have found to relieve a little stress is to jump in my truck of suv hit the country road and just haul ass. Bad thing is if I get too aggravated cause of someone holding me up or doing something stupid to hold everybody up I might black out. Well in July and August I really felt myself getting more stressed and impatient and also had a weird feeling that I was going to have a wreck if I don't find an alternate way to relieve my stress. Sure enough in August I was heading to work got behind a car going 10 to 15 under the speed limit got pissed off, blacked out and boom wrecked the trailblazer I had just got in June. I didn't have collision on it so of course had to pay out of pocket. Here recently I have noticed I am getting more and more of an attitude at work just cause I am getting aggravated there. I been trying to figure out something else to do to relieve some stress but have no idea on what to do. Especially me being the home body type. I don't smoke or drink to top all that off. So I was wondering if anybody might have any ideas on something hands on I might can try doing at home to calm myself down before I end up in another situation like I was in earlier this year?

I agree with adviceman, it would be good to see a doctor. Stress can cause it but there can be other factors like some medical issues underlying it, and the stress is like the one straw that broke the camels back so to speak. Blackout, or fainting can also be considered Syncope.Blackouts (not alcoholic blackouts) occur when not enough blood reaches the brain or when there are electrical disturbances in the brain.

Stress is a major factor. Dizziness and blackouts can occur when you feel shock, fear, grief, loss, pain, rage, or other emotional distress.
You could also have low blood pressure, dehydration, anemia, hypothyroidism (slow thyroid), ear infection, vitamin D deficiency, or other chemical and nutritional imbalances, etc.
Please go see your Dr.

I'm 20 and I've never been kissed or even asked out. A few times guys have kind of joked about asking me out, but never clearly sincerely. being honest with myself, i'm not unattractive or anything, and i'm literally nice to everyone - it's in my nature, i'm not being fake. so i don't know what i could be doing wrong, or what's putting guys off. when i was younger i'd even go on random internet group chats and guys would often hit on me.. but how is that really different from random guys catcalling on the street, which also feels a bit creepy. i don't know.. i never saw this future for myself. even my mom dated when she was in high school, and here i am, in college, without even having been on a date. i'm not a prude at all, too, so i'm just lost at what could be the cause of this. i wish it didn't bother me, but it does. it's truly bothered me since about 17 or 18, when i was like... wait a minute. i used to eat up teen romance novels and now they are the death of me, cause they just appear unrealistic, as i can't relate to them, whatsoever. any advice? not sure what i'd do without this site, cause i find my problem very embarrassing.

During high school and college age, a great majority of guys are still a bit immature and still inexperienced at dating and relationships, and furthermore, have no clue what they are looking for in a girl. Same goes for girls. Our brains finish growing and mature by mid 20s although for some its closer to 30 before a person has learned to define him/herself and what they want out of life and a partner. Yes, some people meet young but a great many do not end up staying together for life. I know it may feel lonely, but dont worry, you will find someone in time. And it is not pathetic. What is pathetic is the many immature people who marry who are not right for each other or it becomes an abusive relationship and they stay together, thats pathetic. Not being kissed yet is not.

My entire life each letter and number had it's own personality and gender. For example, when I think of 1 I see a boy who is very proud an dumb. 5 is a girl who is very perky and is a cheerleader. They also have colors:
1-ruby red
2-sky blue
3-emerald green
4-Sun yellow
5- lime green
6-deep ocean blue (not a tropical ocean, just a normal one)
7-pink, a bright pink.
8-indigo
9-grey
And words have personalitys too. When I see certain words I see a person in my head that looks like a definition of that word. It makes math hard because instead of seeing the problem I instead see a bunch of colors swirling around and the numbers talking and having their own life and I can't focus on the problem. I memorize a sequence of numbers and letters by replacing them with a color. I don't control it. It has been that way as long as I could remember. I learned numbers and letters at pre-k and kindegarten. I remember when the teacher said to write the number 1, in my head I was picturing an arrogant red 1, and that is how I remembered it. And I remembered which number and letter was wich by recognizing the personalities. And each letter an number would say out loud in my head what they were. For example when I saw Z it would be a jelous girl who had blound hair saying,"I'm Z." They each had their own voice, and some of them are related. 0 is 1's younger brother. I used to think that was what everyone thought, but then I started reading about it, and apparently only 2% of the world is like this. Can someone explain?

I put in a web search 'seeing numbers as colors' and up came many hits for an ability called synesthesia. I would suggest you look up that word on line and do further research yourself. There is an ABC article as recent as March this year which I am putting the link for here:
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/Story?id=98039&page=1

Every person with this ability doesn't necessarily see the same color for numbers or letters for example, but they consistently see the same colors for themselves. This ability can go on to cover a taste or sound to words or shapes too. Just know that you are not crazy. In fact, persons with this condition in history have been highly talented and gifted people. So you should see this as something special rather than it making you odd or nuts. Do research Synesthesia to understand your ability better.
Good luck.

i want to know whether i am wrong or right.i m 13 years old.i m female
a year before i met a guy on fb who was very friendly with me and was very flirty.he was 10 years elder than me. that time i was very innocent and didnot know anything about friendship and all that lot.i didnot used to add unknown people on fb butt as my frds had many frds so i also started adding unknown people. he was one of them.he used to msg me now and then so one day i replied him.i felt he is very nice.we use to chat whole in between he used to talk something non veg butt i ignored.a day came that i felt he is a very of my life i used to tell him all about my life. he also propose me and i accepted. butt after some time i realized that he was not serious he used to compare me with girls and was a mutual frd between me and my other frds who are more beautiful and intelligent than me. he used to degrade me hat i m mad i am everytime disturbing him but i was very attached with him that i ignored all these things. he used me physicall by asking my naked pics butt i was very folish to send him. i didnt saw anything behind him and he told my skul frds everything that happend and they all spread this in whole skul.

I assume you want to know if you are doing the right thing in having an online friendship with someone 10 years older. No, it's dangerous because at your age you are still a minor and he is an adult. Even boys 18 are adults and have no business trying to approach you on line or in person for a friendship.
Being a minor isn't the only issue for you. You have about 12 or more years until the pre-frontal cortex of your brain finishes growing. Until then, you aren't fully capable of making good decisions on your own. Here's more about it: The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s. So you are simply not going to be able to see all possible ramifications of indulging in a friendship with someone that age. The fact that he asked for naked photos shows that he isn't just some innocent guy who thought you were his age, he purposely sought you out to win your confidence and get naked pics. The next step someone like him dos and is arrange to meet you in person somewhere and rape you. I would suggest you tell your parents about him so they can advise the police about him. Theres a special crime unit devoted only to catching people like this who prey on young teens, or even little children. He may be older but he has something wrong with him mentally if he's not making grown up decisions and acting like a middle schooler by broadcasting the thing about your naked pics around the school.

I would like to begin by sharing that I am 42 years old, was previously married and have a 12 year old son and 21 year old daughter. My marriage ended five years ago. I was engaged approximately a year after my divorce to a man that I loved dearly. He ended up getting back with his ex-wife out of nowhere and I was blindsided and heartbroken for several years and refused to date until my heart had healed as I was afraid to hurt anyone given that I believe "hurting people hurt others".

Fast forward to approximately nine months ago when I re-entered the dating world unexpectedly. I met a very handsome guy while on a business trip to West Coast(I am based out of Texas). I slowly started dating this lovely guy and we have had a sweet romance. My issue with "west coast beau" is that he reminds me so much of the man that broke my heart into. They look alike, share similar interests and backgrounds. It is obvious the universe is sending me this man for a reason and I cant sort if I should flee or embrace. I will also say that as lovely as he is - he seems to be somewhat insecure and reserved, highly sensitive man. When I am with him he is very much a real life prince charming. I am very confident, independent type so the issue with his confidence and need to be with me, near me, checking on me often times leaves me feeling like I want to escape. How terrible is that? I have perfect guy and I want to flee and I cant determine why. This west coast beau is willing to sell his home and move to Texas in order to have a solid future with me. He has one adult child and is financially secure with ability travel with me and live anywhere.

To complicate things, I met another equally wonderful man recently and am now dating both of them. I have been honest with each to set the expectation that I am dating others and that I am not sure of exactly what I want. Beau number two is a local celebrity and adored by everyone including me. He is handsome, secure and comes across as worlds perfect Dad. He has four children and he is Jewish. My background is Christianity and our faiths don't seem to be an issue as we both embrace differences. He is also based in the same town as I am. I find myself always making my way to spend time with he and his children. We have not known each other as long as have not spent as much time together. We seem to have a strong physical attraction and presence toward each other....I am not typically affectionate but for the first time in my life with this man, I find myself reaching for him, snuggling and just wanting to be as close to him as possible. I have no real concerns with his personality. His children have accepted me and I find all of them to be precious beyond words. My Jewish beau is tapped financially, has career that could end up moving us anywhere and due to the children is not able to travel and has little extra time.

My struggle is that I realize I need to step forward with one of these guys and they both are so amazing and lovely I am having a difficult time deciding. I change my mind from day to day. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. Hoping I can get some additional insight from others to help me move forward with a decision.

Bless you all and thank you for anything you can offer up to help me decide.

I don't know what caused your divorce or what excuses your ex gave you, but other than looks or some mannerisms, if this guy is actually saying and doing, acting the same way, on the same path that led to your divorce, then all is not perfect. It sounds like there is a lesson for your soul to learn and until you do, you just may end up with more guys the same or end up divorced again.When you say he's insecure and you are confident, well, confidence in a woman is like a flame to the moth, it draws men to you, whether they are right for you or not. You just need to learn to discover if they are right for you. I had to do the same thing later in life. I left an abusive situation after 30 yrs marriage. I was now wanting to find a man later in life and my Angels told me to write a list of what I need and what I want in a man. This is an exercise that may help you too. However to know what you need in a guy, you have to understand yourself well first. Lets say, its' knowing who and what you are, as if you are selling yourself in a job interview. I did that in an on line dating service. Selling yourself is harder than you think. But I eventually had a detailed outline of who I was. And based on that, I realized then what I required in a man. The needs are a must have, which if a man cannot meet the criteria, it's a deal breaker and you break up. If you have 10 criteria on your list and your guy meets only 3, you don't stick with him just because he actually meets 3 of them, its good but not good enough. You continue searching until you find the one who meets 9 or 10 of the criteria. Taking anything else is settling for less than the best mate for you. Now a list of wants is icing on the cake. Not necessary but would be an added delight...something like hoping for a man with long hair, although you would accept anything, even shaved head. Its a preferance but not a deal breaker for you.
In a relationship, especially a marriage, both partners need to be strong and whole as they come together. A partnership where one is incomplete or lacking some qualities like feeling sure of themselves, means one will be leaning on the other partner all the time, one will be trying to live their life through the other instead of having a life of their own and bringing that to the table in the marriage. It should be the blending of two lives, not one and a half life.
Just by your words, I have my reservations about West coast guy. I cant say if the 2nd guy is better. That you should try looking for is the man who isn't just sweet to you on dates, but is capable of being your best friend through thick and thin, is there for you, is caring no matter what you are going thru, whether you are ill, depressed, sad, angry, stressed, fearful, anxious, or joyful. You've hopefully had girlfriends like that. The special thing about a guy though (if you're heterosexual) is that you not only get to look for your best friend but the man you can have satisfying romance and sex with. You both would need to have a strong chemistry and want the same things in sex. Both parts are what make up a firm foundation for a marriage. With one of those missing or weak, it's a matter of time before the relationship falls apart. I hope this helps some. If you come up with more questions, let me know as I have gone through this just ahead of you and found myself a wonderful 2nd husband.

...to worship Cernunnos (The Horned God)? I was thinking Eclectic Paganism because it's your own individual path and faith, but I just wanted to know if I could still worship and communicate with Him without being in a religion? If not, mind telling me more about Eclectic Paganism?

I would have to say I come close to being what was explained to you as Eclectic Pagan and yet I believe in Jesus, the Goddess and many of the named Gods like Cernunnos simply because I believe what the spiritual plane consists of is much more vast with the creator of the universe and all that is in it having created not just angel and souls that are born into mortal human bodies but many other levels of Gods that all work under the Creator. So it really doesn't matter what God we wish to communicate with, because it to me is like communicating with an uncle or Grandfather instead of family member many generations back. Our Creator and other lesser Gods He/She created, have no problem with what we call them. The most important thing is our spiritual growth in what ever shape or form it takes so your wish to communicate with the Horned God, instead of following a religion is a good step. Following a religion is not following your own path. And your own path is going to be a better path to learning and growth as a soul compared to any one belief as they stand.

I'm a 13 year old girl and this is my question. Okay, so there is this guy that I knew in grade 6. I liked him and surprisingly, he liked me back. So, we dated for 6 months, but even though I was little, immature and didn't know that much about relationships, I thought that I really liked him. That was the problem. I LIKED him, not LOVED him. When we texted, he would say "I love you" but I would reply as "I like you". I felt weird saying love, but it wasn't a omg-i-feel-so-embarrassed feeling. More of a awkward, unusual feeling. Later on, he moved schools and he couldn't come and see me any more. I slowly moved away and decided to break up. I actually gave it a lot of thought and that was my final decision. Now, this guy has a twin brother. Let's call him... Max. Now I talked to Max a LOT and I wasn't going to ruin our friendship just because I broke up with his brother. We skyped a lot, played games together online, etc. I felt annoyed when 'Max' didn't reply to my messages in a hour. When I checked my messages and it turned out to someone else that messaged me instead of Max, I'd get disappointed. This was the first time this happened to me and this didn't even happen when I was dating. I'm not sure if the feeling is LIKE as a friend, or LIKE as a boyfriend. I'm not sure about my feelings, let alone tell them to him. I don't know. Next year, I'm going to the same school as them too. He told me about his brother's first girlfriend and his ( turns out their girlfriends were both best friends ) when I was dating Max's brother. Was it to make me jealous? Does it mean I'm friendzoned because he is telling me because he is comfortable around me? Am I just being stupid? Was he showing off? I guess, when we both went to the same school, I made more physical contact with Max than my boyfriend. Some older kids would tell me that my boyfriend was jealous of Max. WHAT DO I DO???
Please help, I'm confused.

PS. An extra question, pretty important.
Do I have feelings(?) for him because he looks like my ex/his brother?

The next time some guy says I love you, a good way to find out whether this means they really like some things about you and are just using the word love for that is to ask, "So what is it about me that you love? What about me makes you feel like you love me. Some won't have any answers. Some will mention things like your looks, you being smart/intelligent, your cute laugh and sense of humor, that sort of stuff. If that was enough for a person to truly be in love with someone, then you and I would be in love with a couple hundred people and a couple hundred people would be in love with you. At your age, everyone is just starting to learn about the feelings they have when around someone they are attracted to. The changes our body experiences, like heart rate picking up, heart doing somesaults, feeling excited, nervous. So some will use words to describe what they are feeling that mean something totally different to another person. If he feels attracted to you on a sexual level and is calling that love, that is just being attracted, and that is enough to investigate further if you'd still like each other by hanging out or dating to find out more about each other. If you end up not liking the persons personality, then you break up and move on, always trying to find the next person who is a step better than your last date.

The friend zone means that one or both people have no romance or a better way to call it is no chemistry. Chemistry like this is caused by having similar pheremones produced by our bodies. Its what makes the difference of one boys kiss feeling like your brother just kissed you or a hot guy you are attracted to kissed you. Sometimes, the two become best friends first. Which is important in a long term relationship or marriage. The other important factor which you're young yet to explore is being a match sexually and with chemistry. I believe a kiss is enough to tell if the attraction is there or not. Although keep in mind, when you date a guy, even if it is a twin, the excitement of anything new, is enough to make us feel there's something strong there. This is the same excitement we have over a new Christmas gift. After days or weeks, it is ho-hum, not so exciting, just normal, or no interest at all. This confuses many people who think they were right for each other but after a couple weeks or couple months the excitement wears off. This means it wasn't a good match. I dont know what you are like. If you are more interested in guys looks than their personality, perhaps then you like the twin for his looks. However you did share about having a good friendship with him. Its possibly because his personality and chemistry is different from his brothers, and all they have in common is being brothers or identical looks. I didn't understand who was showing off for whom but I do know that often young teens think of dating more along the lines of a social activity, just for fun, like playing a board game, not taking things too seriously. And then they get disappointed because girls think they want love at this age, when its more attention they crave, while boys just want to be near girls cus it feels good and many are hoping and planning to find a girlfriend to try out sex for the first time. Boys aren't usually looking for the 'real' love as girls see it, at least, not yet. Give em 10 yrs or more.
As for jealousy, If you have a boyfriend and male friends, you are not responsible for someones feelings of jealousy. The only thing you have to do is let a boyfriend know is that you have male friends with whom there is nothing romantic going on, you are just friends, like you are with girlfriends. If a guy can't handle that and tells you to stop being friends with other guys, or starts treating you indifferently or badly because you have male friends, then break up with him. He has self confidence issues and if he doesnt change soon will grow up to be a man who attempts to control his woman and possibly verbal or physical abuse can come along with that. It doesnt matter what other kids think, no matter if they are older, they are still teens with just about as little experience as you. Never rely on messages passed on to you about how someone else feels or what they said about you because it can become twisted, distorted or not have any truth at all. No reason to get all upset over something that doesnt exist. The way to find out is to ask the guy to his face.
Had that happen to me. Someone told me something my male friend was concerned about, we weren't dating yet. It just didn't sound like his personality. So I approached and said, hey some one told me you were wishing this, or saying that, and I am curious to find out if that is so or not. He answered quickly that he had no idea how they got that idea. He wasn't quite ready to ask me to date, just wanted to hang out a couple more times and that if he was ready, he would ask me directly. This should work at any age and gain you some brownie points with the guy for wanting to get his actual opinion or stance on an issue rather than believing hearsay or gossip, even from well meaning friends who don't lie to you. They may mean well but when putting it into their own words, it could come up with another meaning. Hope this all helps. If you still have unanswered questions, you can write to my column and give the specifics you need an answer on.

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