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What's the oldest a girl can have her first kiss without being pathetic?
I'm 20 and I've never been kissed or even asked out. A few times guys have kind of joked about asking me out, but never clearly sincerely. being honest with myself, i'm not unattractive or anything, and i'm literally nice to everyone - it's in my nature, i'm not being fake. so i don't know what i could be doing wrong, or what's putting guys off. when i was younger i'd even go on random internet group chats and guys would often hit on me.. but how is that really different from random guys catcalling on the street, which also feels a bit creepy. i don't know.. i never saw this future for myself. even my mom dated when she was in high school, and here i am, in college, without even having been on a date. i'm not a prude at all, too, so i'm just lost at what could be the cause of this. i wish it didn't bother me, but it does. it's truly bothered me since about 17 or 18, when i was like... wait a minute. i used to eat up teen romance novels and now they are the death of me, cause they just appear unrealistic, as i can't relate to them, whatsoever. any advice? not sure what i'd do without this site, cause i find my problem very embarrassing.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Susan Boyle just found her first boyfriend at 54...
I'd say you are far from pathetic...
(She's a singer)
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Let's throw away that whole age thing into the trash and erase it from your thinking. Yes, others may have experienced a kiss earlier but it's all about the right time and right person.
You are still young and not at all pathetic by any means if you haven't had that yet or a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex. It will happen when you are ready.
You can experience a first kiss at any age and just because yours comes at and older age than peers doesn't mean anything. In fact, you could be well off.
A lot of your peers have probably dated guys who weren't all that mature or kissed ones who were toads or weren't memorable or regretted. By waiting you likely will avoid that and have a sincere guy in the end.
The other thing is people can tell if you aren't confident about yourself and even if you don't think you are sending off that vibe around guys or in general the perception may be different. It's something to consider working on.
Also start talking to people you like. Throw a mixer where you can meet people or invite them to a gathering ie bowling, movie or group activity and see if you hut it off with someone.
As far as Internet chats while you are adult it's best to stop using them. You have NO idea who those guys are. Furthermore, the person they say they are may be fictional not who the really are at all.
You never know what they will say and who they may be targeting. That's a bad idea to hang out talking to random people who may or may not have bad intentions. Then again, some could be genuine. Don't give out personal info.
My advice is to be who you are and not get hung up on this. Eventually the right person is going to notice you and a relationship and kiss will happen. Know that there is nothing at all wrong with you and that this can happen at any age.
More and more people start dating in their late teens anyways to avoid the wrong people. Just be comfortable in your own skin as that goes a long way with guys noticing you.
Ideally I would work with a therapist about this bothering you and your confidence lacking and not knowing if there's anything you are doing wrong or that is keeping guys away. If you work on this and become comfortable with yourself it could improve things. There's nothing wrong with you but venting this and getting some ideas and realizing you are not pathetic is a good thing.
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During high school and college age, a great majority of guys are still a bit immature and still inexperienced at dating and relationships, and furthermore, have no clue what they are looking for in a girl. Same goes for girls. Our brains finish growing and mature by mid 20s although for some its closer to 30 before a person has learned to define him/herself and what they want out of life and a partner. Yes, some people meet young but a great many do not end up staying together for life. I know it may feel lonely, but dont worry, you will find someone in time. And it is not pathetic. What is pathetic is the many immature people who marry who are not right for each other or it becomes an abusive relationship and they stay together, thats pathetic. Not being kissed yet is not.
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It's most likely because there was no opportunity or the guys that like you aren't the guys that you like.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you. And it's not like you're really old and never been kissed either.
I mean if you want to improve yourself, go for it. But don't change yourself around to get a guy. As long as you're happy with who you are, you're fine.
Plus there are lots of girls out there who don't have the best looks or have the best personality and they've been kissed. Then there are tons of pretty girls and girls who have amazing personalities who haven't been kissed either.
So I think it's just because the opportunity hasn't presented itself to you.
Don't worry and don't stress out about it.
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