|
My younger sister hates me so much that she bullies me!!
I don't understand my sister at all. I try my best to be polite to her and she snaps at me. It's become a habit of my mom to ask her if it's that time of the month for her and it isn't. My sister had told me numerous times that I have no friends and nobody likes me and that I should kill myself. She has a sense of humor that I don't appreciate and have had to ask her multiple times to stop, but she just tells me to quit being a stupid bitch and suck it up. I recall one event similar to this where she said something that offended me and I asked her not to say that to me again. She yelled at me saying "freedom of speech, you stupid fuck!" She also encourages her friends to talk shit about me. I don't understand why she behaves this way towards me. Why does she hate me so much?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I'm not a doctor thought this may be an extreme case of sibling rivalry or a case of teenage depression brought on by puberty. You have not given your ages or when this all started; if this is something that has been recent such as since puberty hit her I may be on the right track.
Whichever the case may be your family doctor should be able to help. Since she is your younger sister the sibling rivalry can be brought on by many things. Maybe you find school work easier. Maybe you are old enough to have a part-time job. Since you did not give your ages I have to assume some things in giving my advice.
Many teenagers have problems associated with puberty, especially females. Given all the changes to their bodies, dealing with menstruation, new social atmosphere and lustful boys plus the new hormones floating in them depression is always possible. Females find this time very stressful; they struggle with dealing with all this. Stress can and does cause depression. Some like your sister lash out.
Most parents based on generations of parenting see this as a phase some children go through. and will grow out of. Most children eventually do, some do not. Today doctors know better and can help them during this period.
I would suggest you speak to mom and see how she feels about taking your sister to the family doctor for a physical. While the doctor is conducting the physical a screening for depression can also be performed if mom asks or tell the doctor what she suspects is wrong.
The physical would be needed as part of the screening to rule out any organic reason for your sister to be acting this way. If the doctor makes a diagnoses of depression it would be most likely clinical depression which is more of an illness then a mental disease.
Clinical depression is the lack of certain hormones that aid in keeping us from getting depressed. Puberty hormones sometimes destabilizes this balance, layman's description. Generally a simple pill taken once a day will work wonders for how she feels and possibly some time with a therapist for talk therapy to help her understand the why and the what of what has happened to her.
]
Im going to try to answer this because i went through something similar although it was with a brother not a sister. what happened with me was quite different and i ended up having out and out psychical fights with him in order to get his respect. It worked and its been years but now we are adults and talk to each other as such and get along.
Although i dont encourage that here AT ALL, i DO think you should stand up for yourself when the opportunity presents itself. If she is younger than you then you are higher ranking in the sibling range and therefore have been on this earth longer and are allowed to demand some level of respect from her weather it is small or large.
Ive also had friends who had younger sisters who tried the same B.S. on them that it sounds like your sister is doing and they took the passive aggressive approach making that younger siblings life a living hell at every chance until they relented. Or at least waved the white flag.
To constantly tell your mother will give your younger sister the idea that your weak and/or a tattle tale and like you cannot stand on your own. Your older and need to remind her of the sibling order here. Im not saying resort to any kind of violence or psychical contact, not making a stand in a way SHE would understand might work. ((in whatever way you think she will understand))
YES, she might need a doctor, but just passively saying "i deserve your respect" isnt going to work with a rebellious teenage girl and i think we all know that. lol. just calling it like i see it.
good luck though and i hope you can figure out a way to get through to her.
]
How long has she truly acted like this? All I know is that she is younger than you. Considering she has a monthly cycle, and you both live at home, she could be anywhere from beginning of puberty and having a monthly cycle to being older.
Think back and try to remember if she acted like this towards you before puberty, before starting to mature and finally getting her period.
Chances are great that this all started once she hit puberty and has gotten worse. What happens for some girls is that they end up having more than the normal amount of hormones coursing through their bodies and this causes their emotions to go haywire.It does to some extent with all females, more weepy, or easily irritated, quick to anger. You probably remember that. However in some cases, it is to the extreme that the girl's whole personality changes and/or she can becomes very hateful, mean, vindictive, unreasonable, etc. basically impossible to live with. There has never been any good reason for a female in puberty to turn on another female, and there's no way to predict who it will be, but usually someone close like mom or a sister become their target or their friends, even female teachers, etc. They don't plan who to attack so viciously, and it is nothing you have done to garner such hateful behavior from her. But it is a real problem and worth looking into. The treatment is simple. Mom would need to be aware of this possibility (show her my response) and Mom take your sis to Dr. for a checkup. She will need to explain the change in personality,behavior, hateful treatment of you and wanting to have her hormones checked to see if they are too high, sometimes even too low can cause problems of a different sort. Dr.s can give a simple treatment for her and she will become her loving self again if that was the case. It's worth a try. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |