I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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I really hate reading all of these questions on advicenators, but I'm stuck here, and I have no clue whats going on!
So this guy, my close friends ex, and I have been friends for like a year. Before they went out, him and I would talk online everyday. (we went to different schools, we go to the same school now)
So I sort of like him when we first met, and now I really like him. Problem is, I don't know if he feels the same way.
Now about two months ago, I got really mad at him for being a jerk to one of my friends a few years back. My current friends don't talk to him, and they don't particularly care for him either. Prior to this, he had told me he liked me. But he didn't come out and say it, he would just keep asking me "who i was into". One of my friends actually told him I liked him.
But now him and I talk online a lot, we made up and are close friends again. Heres where I need your help, I can't tell if he likes me still, or not. He says the sweetest things to me, like you're beautiful and you are amazing. He also keeps asking me "who i am into".
I don't want to tell him I like him...but I do.. So I'm stuck here.
Can anyone help? I'm sorry its long and annoying to read these. Thanks
(link)
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Well, it seems to me that he likes you. I mean you talk more often that you used to, he compliments you on everything and he keeps on asking if you're going out with anybody which tells me that he's looking to see if he can have a relationship with you.
But you need to make sure that he does. Ask him how he feels about you and then see whether you want to go out with him. You like him, he may like you and i can't see anything from stopping the two of you from going out (apart from your friends)
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I'm really sorry this is long but its a kinda long story and i gave an example. Ahh. okay so there is this guy and i really like him a LOT. he is 3 years older than me and is my best friends older brother. they don't get along at all so i talk to each of them without the other knowing. the thing is i really like her bro now. i talk to him on the internet all the time and text him every once in a while but then when it comes to talking to him face to face i'm an idiot. Like tonight i was at this thing for the school. He was there too and there were a lot of people.. i was alone and he was coming over to talk to me but i had no idea what to say. he was with his friends and gave me the nod and then i attempted to talk to him later when i was with my friends too.. but i seriously do not know what to say. i go blank. my cousins always tell him that i have a crush on him but when he asks me about it i say that their lying.. nobody knows that i like him.. i feel like i can't tell anyone. what do i do? (link)
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There's no need to be sorry for a long question.
Well, I know what the feeling is like and trust me, it really does suck. What concerns me is that you're afraid to tell him how you feel, you deny what you've said, even though it's true. I'm guessing that you're afraid as to what his reaction is going to be like. Will it be good? Will it be bad? Will it be neither?
I gave a talk on my column recently and i was scared as to what the reaction of my classmates would be, but i had to know. Telling them would be the only way in which to find out. Trust me, panic attacks aren't fun when you're just about to talk about something personal.
So take a deep breath, relax and don't let your emotions get in the way. Get him alone somewhere and tell him how you feel towards him and see what he says. Make it short otherwise if it's long, you'll never be able to get the words out of your mouth and your emotions will take over.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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my mom doesnt want to pay for the big 8th grade trip at the end of the year thats going to be lots of fun, but she has already paid 100 dollars that cannot be retrieved again, but out of my money, since she was mad at me. like no matter what i do.. even when i try to improve my bad habits, she says shes satisfied but she is never satisfied because still today she is mad about the subject, because she says that i dont listen to what i have to say, and sometimes yeah i do talk back a lot which i guess i shouldn't do.. but sometimes like i dont want people to think the wrong idea of me.. so i feel that if i dont say anything back they just assume that i do what they're thinking? its basically a lose-lose situation. and i need the money by tomorrow for the 2nd half payment of the field trip, 158 dollars. how can i raise this sum of money in 1 day? or i can beg to my teacher to extend the day, so then how can i raise 158 dollars for the day after tomorrow? also how can i change how my mom views me? like because i dont know maybe its just something with the teenage years where some stuff has to go wrong.. the majority of my problems all revolve around me procastinating, and then not getting work done, missing the bus, etc. i've even wanted to see the school guidance person about ways to fix it, because every other advice people give me does not seem to work really. but for the past couple days i've been pretty focused. and i havent missed the bus since around the beginning of january. i even cleaned my room and make an extra effort to not leave a mess lying around, and stay on my mom's good side. i even get good grades but my mom looks beyond that. and im doing another fundraiser so i can go to japan this summer, to help out my parents who have to pay 5000 dollars for it, and im selling gum and chocolate. im trying really hard to not give in to my desires to end up eating all the candy and gum for myself, and ive only eaten one chocolate which my mom found out about, and the rest im selling. but my mom still doesnt see change in me.. it just feels hopeless.. i mean maybe i lost her trust because before i guess they always thought i was the perfect child, when my older sister was having some problems, and now its like reversed, even though nobody was really too perfect to begin with. my sis is in almost all honors classes in high school and gets mostly As. Im only in advanced math, i get awards for my art and etc, and get As and Bs. to some families that would be amazing, and when i say that to my mom she gets mad.. because i guess she and my dad have been through a whole lot so they want us to be perfect.. but its so hard. like many kids have problems with homework and stuff cause they dont get it.. for me, i usually get it, and my main problem is what i said before; procastination. i dont know why i do it.. its hard to explain it to people. and i feel really bad, and hate having to say to my teachers i dont have the homework in. my mom constantly says that every little thing like that counts, and i know it does, because i got a B instead of an A because of it last marking period in literacy, but so far this marking period ive missed no homework! well i know this is long but i really wanna fix my home problems and REALLY want to go to that trip!
14/f (link)
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If there is one thing that is wrong in the world is that there is no such thing as a perfect child. True, we can dream about being a perfect child, read about a perfect and so on but in reality, there is no such thing. Parents dream about having this child but what is perfect can come which a few downsides.
It's good that you've changed your act because it tells me that you're deadly serious about going on this trip and your mum needs to understand that. There is nothing worse than have a desire to go somewhere or want something and not get it, I've experianced that recently.
You need to ask her what else you need to do to win her trust back. And you've got all the right cards to play: you've tieded up your act, you're fund raising for your next trip to help your parents, you're doing so much better in school and not missing deadlines, you're not talking back as much as you did. All of this has to count for something (which your mum has rightly said), but what is that something?? That is what you've got to ask.
As for the money, if you've got some relatives near by, could you ask if you could borrow some money and you'll pay them back? If you do, then you MUST pay them back every dollar otherwise they won't trust you and you won't to be able to ask them for money again.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Ok so i've been skipping breakfast, lunch and not eating hardly anything for dinner for the past 3 or 4 weeks; its became a routine basically. My last period was on Feb 15 and it lasted like 2 or 3 days and the one before started on jan 17. I also got an abortion on Jan 17 thats why i started my period but today is Feb 27 and i've started again i think, ive been cramping, moody and my backs killing me. I'm on birthcontrol btw, i have been ever since my abortion. This morning as soon as i got up my stomach was hurting and i threw up 3 times today but now i feel fine. I just want to know what everyone thinks about this, could i be pregnant? Any advice will be greatly appreaciated (link)
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Well, do these reactions seem similar to when you were pregnant? 'Morning sickness' (which should really be called 'All Day sickness') is when your sensitive to food smells and you feel ill.
I'm just wondering if it is a reaction to the birthcontrol. Because you said that it said that it started after you started taking the medication and after your abortion, are you allegic to anything? Consult your doctor if it continues after three days just for a check up.
As for if you're pregnant, test to see if you are and then decide on what to do.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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My ex has been saying things about me to a friend that really upset me and he says it was just a joke.
I am so mad to the point where I don't want to see him or talk to him or think about him and i really want to hit something!
What do I do! (link)
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Do exactly what you said, there is no reason to see or speak to him if he's hurt you to that extent. Nobody says those things then say that it was a joke.
Don't let your rage consume you, for you could do something which you might regret later. Take a few deep breaths and calm down. You're through with him, he's only saying those things to see your reaction, you've got nothing to do with him anymore. You can't give him the satisfaction to see you react to what he said.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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15/f
I have feelings for this senior, at one time I thought he might like me too. (ie..We never talked and he threw a paperball at me..then he picked me for his group and sat right next to me, he had his arm touching me the whole time and everytime he said something to me he looked me in the eyes. And he would nudge me with his shoulder or his leg. And he was teasing me and laughing with me. Note there were two other girls in the group. One sitting on the other side of him and the other in front of him.) But anyways i thought he might have had feelings for me too and you can see why. But then he started to kinda drift off and he wasnt talking to me as much. (He had a girlfriend the whole time, but when this "drifting" began to happen i heard they had broke up) And he would occasionally talk to me. One day he was sitting in the corner alone staring at the floor and i said "what is wrong with you cj?" and he started to mumble under his breath, and i said "yeah i heard nothing you said" and he began to smile and said good you werent supposed to. And i said ok then and began to smile and laugh back. But then i heard that they never did break up. And everyone is telling me i should go for it and ignore the fact that he has a girlfriend. But I couldnt do that. I would hate to think how i would feel if that happened to me. I am not the kind to steal a guy from another girl, whether i like her or not, i just dont feel its right. But i really would like to get to know cj if you know what i mean. But he has college and basketball, and the girlfriend. My friend said that we should write a note between each other talking about how i feel about him and his girlfriend and what she thinks as well (my friend) then stick it in my binder and when he checks it for our class then he will see it and read it (because everyone loves to read notes). (mind you this note would be between me and my friend talking about me and how i have a thing for him). What should I do?? I know he is a senior and everyone says seniors want freshman for their body. But we grew up in a small community and it just isnt like that with most of us. If that is true it is the senior girls and freshman boys.
What should I do about all of this
PS his girlfriend is a cheerleader and im not, i know that most jocks like cheerleaders, but i have this feeling that there is something there between us...And the other day we was sitting at the computer at school and he was looking up car parts and he seemed really concentrated and i was bored and all i could think to say was "whatcha doing?" (he would reply something) and "im sorry but im really bored" (and he replyed its ok)
sometimes i feel like he is shutting me out...but i saw him and his girlfriend in the hallway and he looked at me then looked at her real quick.
sorry it is so long!! (link)
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I think that it's kind of obvious that you've got feelings for this guy.
I always hate the fact that guys tend to go for the cheerleaders, just because they're fitter or what ever when there are other girls out there who love that one guy to peices.
Well, you could ask him as to why he was sending out signals to you (i won't say 'flirting' since it really doesn't seem to fit this question) when he knows that he's got a girlfriend of his own. He can't raise a girl's hopes only to shatter them when he goes back to his girlfriend. Tell him of the feelings which you've got for him and see how he responds.
By the way, you made the right choice not to go after him when he's still got his girlfriend. Some others on this site would so well done for not following through with your friends advice.
But personally? I think that he got a wake up call, telling him that it's wrong for him to send out signals to another girl when he's got his own girlfriend. This may or may not be true but just keep it in mind. It could also be that he can't make up his mind between the two of you, but this is (once again) a speculation, not fact.
As friends, you can know CJ just as well as if you were in a relationship with him. Just don't let your feelings get in the way.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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my bf used to call me just because. he used to text me or message me online just cause.
noww he never does.
and also it seems he never wants to chill with me.
what do i do??? i have a bad feeling in my heart (literally......it feels weird when i think about him) :(
i think he still likes me and i still like him...but idk.
help
16/f (link)
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Ask him why he doesn't, that will be the only way that you'll find out why he doesn't call/text/message you as often as he used to. Could it be because he's got more to do, such as studying? Just ask him because you know that you've got feelings for him.
The bad feeling you've got in your heart? I've experianced that and i believe it is a response to when we think about somebody whom we care about incredibly, you just don't want anything to happen to that person. I've been getting these 'vibes' quite strongly recently. So it's a perfectly natural reaction which occurs when we think of somebody whom we care for, nothing to worry about.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I am a female, 16. I have had problems with my family and with my social life which i will not speak about here, its too personal. What should i do? (link)
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Could you please give me more details. E-mail me privately on:
triquetra_advice@hotmail.com
There, you can tell me all of the problems privately and nobody will know. I will delete your personal information once answered, i promise.
triquetra
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ok so i really like this guy.We dont talk or anything its been actcually a long time since we've talked. So today [feb.26] he couldnt really keep his eyes off of me. i mean i think he likes me & all & even once in a while he'll smile really quick and if i catch him he'll turn around quick to the other side.
i thinks he confused and debating if he likes me or not.
So, do you think he likes me?
(link)
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Considering that he can't tear his eyes off you or checks you out quickly; i would say that he likes you. But to make absolutly sure, ask him and see what he says. You've got feelings for you and he might have feelings for you so ask him and see if you can start a relationship.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok am i wrong to want the truth from people? for the last 4 months people have been weird to me. im kindof not hanging out with my friends as much and not talking to them as much and stuff like that but they dont say anything about it, when i can tell that they are talking about me behind my back. they look at me with that look like they are thinking "fuck you" in their head at me, but i wish they would just TELL ME HOW THEY REALLY FEEL. whenever i see them they just make awkward small talk with me and if i bring up something cool that happened to me or something they dont comment and they are just like "oh. wow i just love this weather." because god forbid they state their opinion.
my friends have this thought that basically telling the truth starts drama. when, in my opinion, telling lies and not telling the truth is what starts the real drama.
so, tell me your opinions on this and tell me if im wrong to think this please.
thanks (link)
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I'm currently go through this at my school. I recently gave a talk on my column and there were a lot of questions at the end but the time ran out and that was that. But now, I've heard that nearly everybody is talking about it behind my back and it is frustrating. I mean, I sit with these guys and i know that there is something on their mind and they just can't ask me directly about the column. Plus, they seem to think that the answers which i give are funny when the situation is sensitive.
Plus, i now nearly always get the feeling that they're talking behind my back and it hurts. I just wish they would say the truth to me and say what they think because i'm open to that. But i know i can't force them to tell me the truth, it is their own decision.
Truth only starts drama if you turn the conversation into something that it is not. As long as you keep it controlled, you can have an in depth discusion where you hear what others think.
So in response to your question, it is fine to speak out the truth as long as you can control what happens later.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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15m.
Ok, so. I like this girl, shes a year or so older than me, and we're insanely good friends. Like, we tell each other everything and we'll always be there for each other.
If she notices that I dont look "ok" (like if i look upset or mad, etc.) she'll call me after i get home and ask me whats wrong, and likewise with me. So one day I asked her if I was "Dateable" and she said "for me?" and i was like "no you're way to far outta my league" and she was like "ok, yeah in general you are, but not for me.." which basically crushed me... So i was like great..Now i know she wont ever like me.
And NOW, she has a boyfriend which i cant stand. I mean i really like her, but now im just thinking about giving up because she wont ever like me now..
what should i do..? (link)
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Well, i can safetly say that i won't be able to match the person below me!!
It would be best to just remain friends, even though it will be hard, due to the feelings which you've got for her. I've got one soild belief and it is in a saying:
"Everything which happens to us,
happens for a reason"
The reason for you loving her would be so that you experiance love for the next time you find somebody else, who will worthy of you (not saying that your friend wasn't).
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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sometimes like i know i'll get along with a lot of them but like i get nervous and sometimes say stupid things i didnt mean. idk why cause im ok being independent and stuff and i find its easier for me to be more like myself around people who are shyer than me a lot..or other outgoing people that ive known for a while. like its easy to be totally like myself with new people, but as time goes on like its hard to be all fresh like that and just start being myself after i start to like become shy.. when i hate being that way cause im usually not like that around family and close friends. like on myspace there are some cool new people i talk to sometimes and like.. ok first of all how can i just drop this whole thing of looking at people based ons stereotypes? i tend to be very judgy though i am against it myself.. i know its mean and stuff and want to stop since it just relects weakness from me like when i spread bad gossip or something. its just dumb. so that i could talk to people more easier and stop getting nervous of what? like rejection? i dont know.. maybe. like how can i just do it.. dont just say to take a deep breath and stuff. please take your time answering cause ive asked similar questions a while ago but nothing really helped me or i wouldnt be back again. :( thanks for the help btw. :) (link)
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Funnily enough, i'm exactly like that. I say things which sound stupid and like to be by myself. Looking around at my classmates, i just feel as if i'm repressed and i don't know how to get out of it. At home, i'm more chatty and happy, but at school, it seems as if i take on a completly different identity to the one which i one to project, which is one of happyness and care. Not some anti-social reject who doesn't have a life, that really hurts me.
There is an excellent book called 'The Fine Art of Small Talk' by Debra Fine whick talks about how to create small talk in even the most sticky of situations and it allows you to bild your confidence around others and able to talk to them. Remember, being popular doesn't mean that they're a different class, we're all in the same boat, so to speak.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok well here is the thing: ok well my friend dated this guy named robert and well it didnt work out and like a week later she left him and he was hurt ok and well i secretly liked him for a while and well weeks went by and well he started to notice me and he fell for me and well we started to date but i saw that my friend was upset that i was dating him and none of my other friends like him, bu t no one would tell me why. well i wasnt sure about keeping the relationship going because last year i was with this guy for almost a year and all my friends were telling not to trust him becasue he was bad news and i didnt belive them and we had a fight and i lost all contact with my freinds and then like a month later i found out he was cheeting on me and when i confronted him about it he beat and raped me, and well i finnaly got my friends back after that happend and with this new guy i was afraid to lose them again to a guy so i dumped him and it hurt really bad because deep down i love him. it shook him up pretty bad he got depressed and i couldnt even look him in the eye because it hurt me too much to see him sad. and well now he has been hanging around me alot not talking to me but everyone else around me like he is avoiding me but whenever i see him in the halls at skool and he sees me coming he goes up some other gurl and starts flirting with her just to make me mad. and i feel really bad about what i did and i can still see the hurt in his eyes when he sees me and i love him i really do but i am too afraid to go up to him and ask to have him back, When he first asked me out he asked me if i would ever hurt him and i told him no and then i ended up doing it anyway i hate myself for what i did and i want to make it better but im not one of those outgoing kind of people and i dont like totalk much and want to know if there is anything i can do besides go up to him and talk face to face with him, he wont read my letters he just tosses them on the gorund he dnt have a phone and he dnt have myspace or anything
thnx in advance
---amaya (in need of advice) (link)
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The best you can do is to give him another chance because if you like him, then it should be fine with your friends.
I assume that you're going out with a new guy and not Robert? If so, then dumping him over your friends isn't good because it shows that you don't want to a have a relationship if it's going to spoil your relationship with your friends and you don't want that. Tell your friends about it first and see whether they approave because then you can date him to your hearts content.
Talk to him and let him know how you feel about him and that you really want to be with him again.
He loves you and you love him and that is all that should matter. Your friends matter of course because you need them as much as you need him so try and keep the two equal. This is hard but some people manage and i'm sure that you can as well.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Me and my boy friend have been going out for like half a year now, and we've had a very happy relationship (by happy i mean ive happily slept with him on many many occasions). However I do feel that if I disapoint him in any way this might end our relationship. I know it's a bit foolish but it's just my gut feeling. And here's my problem: about a week ago he suggested that we have anal sex and I agreed but I didnt like it. when he asked me at the time I told him I enjoyed it so now he wants to do it more often. I wouldnt mind it if he wasnt so stretching should I tell him to use something smaller than his own tools or do I risk ending our relationship. Help! What do I do? please answer soon hes coming over tomorrow night! (also just to let you know my parents are strict Roman Catholics so they dont and musnt know about our relationship or I'm "Satan Spawn") (link)
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Usually, i wouldn't answer quesitons like this but i've got to make an exception sooner or later.
Okay, you need to tell him the truth because if you didn't like it, then you need to tell him and he should respect that and he should if he's got feelings for you. Lying to your partner is what ulitmatley brings a realtionship down because neither one will trust each other and for it to work, they need to tell the truth. I know that this will be hard but the truth must get out, one way or another and plus, it would save you some pain (literally!).
As for your parents, there really isn't a lot which you can do about it. Just be careful and go around to HIS house because then there is less of a chance of your parents walking in on you. Plus, don't talk about it loudly. Somebody is bound to snitch and a whole scenario will occur.
I hope this helped, get back to me if there are any points which i missed out on.
triquetra
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I don't understand why, and I dont want to have to consult another adult. But every so often I get extremly depressed and I stop eating for like a day or so and it scares me because what if it gets worse and I stop eating alltogether? I think it has to do with my dancing, because I'm the biggest girl out of all of them and when we get measured and such I am always really embarissed. And I always feel like I'm leftout a bit while I'm dancing but then other days I'm having a blast at dance with everyone. I also play 3 different intruments, sing, and do theatre, french immersion, and a smart people math. Is getting myself into all of this trigging off something? I dont really ever feel stressed but am I actually? Please help! (link)
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It could be stress, because your body could be just responding to all of these tasks which you're asking it to do. But I doubt this.
Depression is when you're upset about something, but it is excalated. Kind of like paranoia except the reverse.
You have to identify times when you feel depressed and see what you were doing before that. Was it after a dancing class? Or was it after you had a practice of some sort? Identifying the cause is really good because then you can work out ways to get around it.
Keep happy thoughts in your mind and don't worry about the eating, just try and be as normal as possible.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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My boyfriend had been living at my house for almost a month. Everything was going great, he was getting along really well with my siblings and parents and everything. On Saturday my dad came home early from work and walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. My dad got really angry and said "YOU CAN LEAVE NOW!" to my boyfriend and saying things like "HE'S NOT LEAVING FAST ENOUGH!" to me. I can understand how walking in on us having sex would upset him a lot and I understand that it's his house and everything and that we were being disrespectful and all, but at this point he still won't let my boyfriend back in the house and things are still really awkward between all of us. This SUCKS. I really miss my boyfriend living with me and we don't know how to make it right with my dad. What should I do? HELP! (link)
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I can see where he's coming from and why he was so angry.
Seeing your boyfriend having sex with you would make him (your father) feel betrayed because your boyfriend comes in, gets along with the family and earns their trust, is then found having sex with you is likely to blow the families trust right up. He would see it as if he was nice and friendly when all he really wants is to have sex with you (I know that this is not the case but it could be what went through your father's head). Just bear that in mind.
Your father not allowing him in the house is a form of 'protection' for you in his eyes, saving you from getting pregnant or something. What he's doing is a fatherly act, even though you may not see it that way (not surggesting anything).
Now, you have to talk to your father without your boyfriend because him being there would only make your dad angry and beyond reasoning. So talk to him alone. Explain to him that what you were doing was nothing wrong because you were only expressing your feelings to one another (you may not want to say this, it's up to you) and remind him that is what he and your mum did and you're a result of that love. No matter what your dad says or does, nothing will destory the love which the two of you have.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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Okkay, Im going to name some people and descibe them and I would really appreciate it if you would tell me which person you think is better.
Person A - He has his own car & its really nice. He's super sweet, He is understanding, he is straight forward, He calls, He invites me places, he likes to hang out, he really fun to hang out with, he doesnt have anything against me and he likes me for me. & He is on the baseball team.
Person B- I just met him but he's really sweet and cute. My friend said that we would look cute together but there wouldnt be alot of communication because he is shy, I dont think he is shy, He has his own truck and he is fun to hang out with, he is atheletic.
Person C- I really just met him like literally, I dont really like him like him, but he's cool. He also has his own car. He's cute. Right now there isnt much to him that I know of, because I just met him.
Anyways, im sure some people are going to be like well you just met them or something like that, I dont care what yall say, just give me yalls input :) Thankss. (link)
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It's good in all that they've all got their own vehicles and what not but it all comes down to whom you have the most feelings for.
Having three guys on the line is difficult because two hearts have to be closed whilst one remians open to you. Go with the one whom you can see having a future with (which in this case would be Person A since you seem to know more about him).
BUT, don't let your decision be influenced from what we say, ultimatley, it has to be YOUR OWN decision and yours alone. There is no point in going out with the guy which we say you should go out with because he may not be right for you.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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okay so, there is this kid that I REALLY like. lets call him kevin. well I told only my three best friends about liking him and they are just like awwwww. but like I really don't think he likes me because whenever he is online he NEVER i/ms me and if we are talking he will sometimes just stop anwering me. but then I tell my friends I was like okay he doesn't like me he doesn't i/m me I should just give up and then my friend goes "well you like him a lot and you aren't iming him either cause you think you are being annoiny, maybe he is doing the same thing." and that got me thinking what if that is the case? so then without my permission my best friend claire texts him and goes "awww! do you like heather (me)?" and he was like "no why" and she goes "because you guys would be so cute together" and he was just like "haha" so then I was like okay guys he seriously doesn't like me I should just give up... then my friend comes in and says "well, if kevins best friend asked if you like kevin you would probably say no too because it would be awkward" and that got me thinking again what if that's the case??? so like now I don't know what to do! I really really like him but he's confusing me way too much. I mean like we hung out every single day with a bunch of people when we had a week off from school and he kept talking to me and teasing me and stuff. I just want him to talk to me online too. my friend said that I should ignore him in person and online cause it will make him want to talk to me. is that true? I just really badly need help I am so confused. thank you! (link)
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You should talk to him directly, that would be the only way that you'll ever find out what is the truth or not and where you go from there (emotions wise).
It seems that the both of you have got mixed feelings for one and another, yet one isn't telling the truth which is why I say: go and talk to the guy and ask for nothing but the truth. And be serious about it (which i know you are) because having/starting a realtionship can only happen if the couple are willing enough to have one.
Don't listen to anymore secondhand information from anyone, listen to Kevin himself. Don't do it online, face to face.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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There was this girl who I was friends with for five years, & we were in a really big fight last year over stupid things & we didn't talk for four (maybe five?) months. The thing is, this afternoon, we talked for the first time in a long time & she apologized. She really has changed. The thing is, two of my ex-best friends told me that she tried to get them to drink, & their mom told my mom. SO, my mom already doesn't like the girl, PLUS now she thinks she drinks. I know it's not true, cause the girls who told me that turned out to be liars. My mom still doesn't like her & doesn't want me hanging out with her. Everytime I try to talk to my mom about the conversation I had with her & how she apologized, she just changes the subject. How can I convince her that she's changed, so I can actually hang out with her? (link)
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You can go out with her (your friend) and prove to your mum that nothing bad happens and that she hasn't done anything which she used to do.
This is only way that i can see that could convince your mother that she's changed.
Or you can invite her around to your house for the day so that your mother sees that she's changed.
You know the truth even if your mother doesn't want to accept it and only you can change what your mother thinks about your friend. Remember: you know that she's changed and you want to prove to your mum that she has.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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First a few details, I'm a 21 year old female and will complete my master's in December (not planning to pursue a PhD). Basically I'm at the point where I'm job hunting, starting my first retirement plan, and figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. These plans ideally include marriage.
I have been in a relationship with "Joe" for most of the last three years. Although he is slightly older, I'm a little farther along than he is. He's still finishing a bachelor's, figuring out what he wants to do, etc. Recently "Joe" and I have had several discussions on the subject of marriage and our future. "Joe" claims to be interested in marrying me but frequently points out that he's still several years from being ready. I realize that marriage is not in the immediate future but am unwilling to go on much longer without an engagement.
I could really see myself marrying "Joe". I've had three previous offers including one proposal, so it's not just a marriage I want. If he really wants to marry me, there shouldn't be many sticking points. I'm okay with a long engagement, don't want to immediately move in together, and have no desire to have children. Although I'm not looking to get married right away, it's important for me to know whether or not this relationship has a future. "Joe" is aware of all of this feelings and knows I'm waiting for a decision. How long should I wait for him to propose? (link)
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When it comes to proposing, we guys tend to get the butterflies, because we're always nervous of what the girl's response would be, even if we know what the response is.
Give him some time to think this over and prepare himself. I know that it is frustrating but these things take time because you're commiting yourself to one person for the rest of your life (which I know you know).
The relationship will only have a future if the couple has faith in that it will last, because if one has doubts, then it will fall apart. He loves you, but you must wait.
Good luck with you Masters and with the future,
triquetra
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