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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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So there's some girls who say when you lose your virginity it hurts is it true?

The ring of skin called the hymen covers a bit of the entrance to the vagina. It is a stretchable skin. Men in history would look for a show of blood on the sheets to know whether their woman was a virgin or not as in some countries that is still an issue. Problem is, not all women have a hymen that will rip or tear and bleed. There is a tight feeling yes, you might feel a twinge too. But a terrible pain...usually can be avoided if the male is considerate and patient and you use lube and he enters slowly, a tiny bit at the time, giving this elastic skin a chance to stretch, then moves in a bit further at your okay and waits for you to get used to that and so on til he is fully in. The ripping comes more often from the guy pushing in too fast. A hymen can get stretched out from just masturbating with a toy, your fingers and use of tampon. So in many woman, there is no pain with sex first time. This is why in some foreign countries today, the females who have had a lover before or those who fear they may not bleed, purchase a fake virginity kit, a water soluable tube with with fake blood that you insert in the vagina. He can't feel it but when the friction of his movement breaks it, what looks like blood comes out. There are women in the world who are virgins and put to death for not being a virgin just because they didn't bleed. So don't worry if you don't, its normal too.

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I'm very much in love with him.. he has been fantizising about seeing a girl with me.. I'm not at all about a "threesome" he hasn't said it out but he hints bout it turns him on to see another with me... I'm scared if he's wanting to be with someone else or he just doesn't love me or respect me.

If he's saying it would turn him on to see you with another girl, thats no hint but a very obvious statement. Who's to say what is going to be a turn on a person sexually. And the same be a turn off for others. Its high time you both sat down and had a very in depth talk about sex. If you're having sex with him, then its a very important conversation. Each of you share what you currently do that you find hot, discuss any fantasys that either of you may have and let the other know if you'd be willing to do a particular one or not. Another important thing is libido. How often or how little a partner desires sex. You both need to be in agreement on all situations regarding sex or he isn't the right partner for you.
It is unfair of either of you to expect the other to change who they are to please the other. The bets thing is to find someone that is your sexual match. Sometimes a fantasy is just that, a fantasy and isn't quite as great as imagined when in real life. He can imagine all he wants, view girl on girl videos or photos if you are okay with shouldn't think of asking you to do something you don't want to and anything that is so important to him, you shouldn't be asking him to drop and forget, which means you'd be at a stalemate. These kinds of things are the kind of stuff easy to come to a compromise without one or the other feeling uncomfortable and only half heartedly going through the motions, being disgusted with themselves or resentful towards their partner. So have a talk. Don't wait for him to bring it up.

I've had my seperators for 5 days tomorrow i get my braces however one fell out about 20 mins ago. Will i still be able to get braces tomorrow?

I should think it wouldn't be a problem. But you can call your orthodontist or have parents call just to be sure. Since the separator was likely to help in positioning the teeth for braces, it is important but only 5 days wearing before getting braces? Well thats a short time to begin with so one day may make a big change. If you had to wear these things for 3 weeks and it fell out a day early, i'd say most the work was already done and one day wouldn't make a difference. So call and see what they want to do. They may either still go ahead with giving you your braces or changing your appointment to put separator in for a couple more days before doing braces.

Hey! I'm a teenage girl and I need a bit of advice. My family is going to the beach tomorrow (my mom and 4 siblings) but I have a hefty amount of school work to get done so I'm staying behind. The thing is, I'm super nervous about them going. my sister is only 50 pounds and my brother is 40 pounds and the older ones can't swim and I'm in constant fear that they'll drown or be swept away even when I'm with them. I know that I have anxiety to some extent (though I've never brought it up because I feel stupid) so I know that my thinking probably isn't logical, but I can't help it. I feel like ditching my school work and just going along but then I'd be anxious about failing classes. every time I think about them going I get flashes of tears and funerals and my mom trying to pull the kids back to shore to no avail. how can I stop this thinking so I can focus on my work when they go?

You and I both know that the bigger issue here is not your homework but your anxiety issues. I am not a Dr. but instead of anxiety, I was wondering with all the detailed thought you put in to getting carried away with a negative scenario whether you might actually have something else. Either way, it's best a Dr. determine what is the problem.
What little I know of people I dont know closely, anxiety is something that shuts you down, unable to make any choice or take any action for fear of an undesirable outcome either way. Then there is Cognitive Behavior disorder which causes a person to dwell on negative thoughts and let them control them to the point it causes they to take certain actions that they wouldn't without these thoughts, using their imagined terrible scenerio's to be the 100% proven truth of a situation and thus taking action in regards to their imagined negative thoughts. There is something called Cognitive Behavorial Therapy for that. Its for a Dr. to decide which you have. CBT is not a medication as far as I know from what I've read, but more of a retraining of your mind how to stop your minds bad habit of writing full complete negative, disastrous, heart breaking stories in your mind because you tend to act upon them as if they are real. So if I am close to right, if you do end up ditching homework to go along, that would fall more under Cognitive Behavior disorder, whereas if you facilate between fears of not going or going and have a fear of them drowning if you dont go, or failing classes if you do, that would seem more like anxiety issues, that keep you from being able to take an action at all for fear of a bad outcome no matter what you choose. This isn't something you can fix on your own or ignore cus it won't get better on it's own.
In todays world, there are more people born with disorders as far as the brain goes and greater range of gender types than there ever were before. Its not that we didn't know about them in the past and just discovered it. Many brain related situations have been on the increase and people younger than myself wouldn't know it. But I've lived long enough to begin to see that many are being born this way when it used to not be such a prominent issue. Maybe in a less toxic world, there'd be less younger people with depression, anxiety, even ADHD, Aspergers and Autism than seems to be becoming the norm lately. This does not mean you are stupid. It has nothing to do with IQ, intelligence and all to do with the brain you were born with. In a less toxic world, perhaps you might have been born without these problems but since its the lot dealt to you, you need to make the best of it and decide to not let it rule your life. You can have a normal life, you just have to handle some things differently than the rest. People with such problems are no longer a minority. To some extent, the greater percent of the population are having some brain related issues that they brush off as insignificant. I like to write books. Even on here, I don't catch all my spelling mistakes and I am very good at grammar but continually in re-reading what I write, find all the dumb mistakes that I know I actually know better on like the difference between 'hear and here' It is frustrating to me but now I try to triple check my work in order to make up for whatever things in this world are affecting my mind in such a way and doing the same to all people. I find misspellings everywhere now...in magazine ads, bus billboards, on all websites, in books and its the silly little errors that should be easy to spot and fix but its happening to us all and will continue to get worse as the years go by.
So, instead of worrying and keeping silent about what you struggle with, tell the parents and ask to see a Dr. for a mental health checkup.

Do what you can that will help you live the most normal life you can expect. There's nothing like the human spirit and drive to get better. I remember the video on FB of a man whom Drs told he'd never walk again. He did yoga mainly religiously several times a day as he was on disability and got to the point he could walk again, and now runs. So there is a lot to be said for the drive to survive and more so, to excell in life. My daughter at your age said nothing of battling depression, she kept it well hidden. I saw no clues and was very into my kids. I wish she had said something. It wasn't til after giving birth years later it blew out of proportion even worse with post partum depressions on top of her regular one and she cried out for help because she battled thoughts now 24/7 of killing herself and her newborn so I took her to her Dr. She's one of those people who will need to take meds the rest of her life to live a normal life. Don't let it go so long that it gets to a crisis like that for you dear. Tell the parents. They like me won't want to be robbed of the opportunity to help you because they love you. They may not believe you at first because they may not have seen any signs of a problem like myself with my daughter, but would hurt forever in their heart over not having the opportunity to help, all because they love you and you are their child. Give them that opportunity dear. Good luck!

I have a small phone. Mostly because I only text and call people I don't use many games or anything but it is a smartphone. I have a 1300 text limit, I probably could have more but I'd rather not waste a whole crap load of money on something like this. It usually lasts about 2-3 months. I should have alot of minutes left
The friend I text most of grounded. I've only used about 400-600 from what I've counted but I tried to text my boyfriend and I got a text that said " insignificant funds" whichon my phone it means I'm out of text. I can do without them and just use call or not use my cellphone at all.
But I'd like to know

Is my minute limit fair? Or should I add more?
What should I do? I have a tracfone could customer service help me?
Is it important they cheated me on my minutes?
What is tracfones customer service lines?

Call phone company and have them check on that for you. Maybe they can tell you where all your texting limits were used up on. If it helps any, try doing more calling instead of texting so you don't end up out of minutes again.

Okay so I'm 14/f and recently found out I was bisexual. All the people I have come out to have supported me and I'm thankful. I haven't had my first... gay kiss if thats what you want to call it but I can't find the right girl to have it with. I am really curious though! Any advice?

You'll know when you've found the one cus its the same as with heterosexuals, there will be that attraction to them, strong feelings and the kiss will naturally come as a way to express how you feel. By the way, being bisexual doesnt mean you are gay. If you were only sexually attracted to females then you are lesbian. If you are sexually attracted to both males and females, then you are bi-sexual.

I'm 20 years old. Ever since I was a very young child, I've had severe problems. I would love therapy, but I am not able to afford it. I've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, bipolar 1, and PTSD. I was (for years) on a multitude of psychiatric medications. More recently, I decided on my own, to stop my medications (safely, I consulted my psychiatrist to help me titrate down) and I got a lot better. I feel quite a bit better that I was able to make that decision, knowing that I didn't need to depend on them anymore. I've been slowly learning how to cope and deal with my struggles more on my own, but of course it's difficult. The big things I'm struggling with now are that I've never had a job due to my problems. I'm working on my GED too. I'm working with VR (vocational rehabilitation) and they've helped me make plans to get a job and help with my GED but of course it's still hard for me. I get terrified with almost everything. I'm not giving up but it's causing a lot of stress, not only on me but the people in my life that care about me. I feel ashamed of myself that I can't do things that most other people can do easily. I always feel like I'm disappointing my loved ones. I wish they didn't need to help me so much, but I don't know what I'd do without them. I'm so so grateful to have them, but I feel so horrible not being able to help them and be there for them as they have been to me. I feel like a terrible person. I'm not sure what I can do. I don't know how to conquer my anxiety and panic attacks. I am still on a small dosage of Xanax to help a little, but its still very difficult. I wish I could get some therapy to help find the true cause of my problems, but as I mentioned earlier, financially I can't afford one. Has anyone had any similar problems? Or methods to help cope through my anxiety and stress in a healthy manner? And what would you suggest to do to help mend my relationships and be able to open up to them more so we could come to more understanding of all our situations and work together to fix it? I'm sorry this is such a long entry, but please, any advice would help immensely. And I would like to sincerely say thank you in advance to anyone willing to share any advice!

There are a lot of support organizations for people in your position. Actually, lots of kids without your issues still have no job experience, going straight from HS to college. So its not the big issue you think to have not worked. I worked as a caregiver for a mentally handicapped female in 30s who attended a specialty school, graduated, and then got her vocational training just for people like her and others unable to work a normal job. THE worker in the agency was the one to help her in getting jobs. When her company laid off many workers including her, they found her another one, it was simple, repetitive and the bosses knew they were hiring disabled people and used their vocational trainer to deal with help in any specific training or corrections needed. If you don't have a social worker who will help with you finding a job which is the hardest part, then check with your local DSHS office. Dept of social and health services and see what it takes to get hooked up with a state agency that helps match people like you with jobs they can handle.
I do know from family who have have clinical depression and non clinical depression that medication can help the first but the person without any real physical or mental problems who has a bout of temporary depression can do special things to get over it. I can't speak on anxiety or others as I do not know anything about them.
However its worth a try to use what i will share as its easy. When depressed over a breakup with boyfriend, I told my daughter what she needed to do to get over it. She was a person with usually normal levels of NT's, neuro-transmitters and the feel good hormones that help us handle stress. However stress uses up these levels of usually normally produced substances in the brain. Some are born unable to produce these and thus need medication. Daughter didn't believe me and went to see a psychologisit for her one free visit paid by employer insurance. He told her the same thing I told her that will always help if you keep at it. In your case, using it in addition to whatever meds you're should help boost you feeling better but not cure you.

When depressed, a quick way to bring up levels of your feel good hormones is through movement, whether it be lots of hard excercise or just dancing or jogging. Dancing helps me.
Another is laughter so comedy is great. Watching the kind of movies that have you splitting your sides cus its so funny. Sometimes you dont have a movie on hand so....
I find that listening to a favorite song helps raise these hormones. bUT not just any song, its the kind when if you listen to it,( the melody is the part important) makes your heart feel like its light, floating like a balloon in your chest. One that does it for me it the melody of Clocks by Coldplay. There are a couple others too. I will put on headphones and play the song with eyes shut just listening 3 to5 times in a row and when done, already feel better. You might use this as a distraction for you too if feeling anxious to get your mind off the things you are fretting about.
Take it a step further and sing along to these favorite songs. yOU don't have to have a good singing voice, something in the action
of singing will raise those feel good hormones.
then lastly, I heard through a couple separate sources that giving and getting hugs will raise those levels of hormones as well to help you feel good. There is a lack of touch in society today and I have read it takes 8 hugs or so daily received to keep functioning well or the levels run low or run out with every day stress and depressed actually refers to low (depressed) levels of these feel good hormones. Due to your anxiety, you may find it hard to give hugs but give it a try with family, cousins, any friends you may have. It must be the long hug where you hold onto the person for a minute to a half a minute at least for it to work. the quickie grab and release won't work. Its worth a try. I'd like to hear back and know if this helps you any as it might be good for me to pass on to others in your situation.
If you do try anything repetitive, let family know what you are doing is trying something to help yourself feel better, not to purposely irritate them and as long as they know, Im sure they'll be glad to support you in that and perhaps give you tons of hugs to see if it helps.

...helps people? With either mental or physical problems? I don't really want a college degree since I don't want to be in college for long. But I was thinking about a job that I'll have to have a certification on like licensed practical nurse. Or home care aide that also takes certification. It's just I would like to move into my own apartment as soon as I can (I'm 18 atm), and my dream career is to help people, whether they be teenagers, adults or elderly. Do you know any jobs like that?

I used to be a licensed caregiver. I also worked for an agency and got paid from them. I had the mentally disabled and some elderly adults. The basic training for it is not hard at all. I've never known anyone to fail a question answer test as they make it so easy. But you do need to put in the time and there will be so many hours of training/classes required before you get your basic training license. You'll need to pay for your training, but some agencys if they want to hire you will reimburse part of all. Once I got all of it reimbursed. I was put to work already while going through training or just before it. The agency will train you for anything that can be done that doesn't require an actual nursing degree, such as how to move a person from wheelchair to a dining chair or the potty, how to change bed sheets if a person is bed ridden and how to move their body, how to give them daily ROM range or motion excercise if bed ridden for example. I had one who needed to be strapped into a contraption on the ceiling that would lift her from bed to her potty chair or wheelchair and the same in bathroom for a sit in specially equipped shower. Yes it is rewarding and is best if you get clients for whom you can work good chunks of time like a day at a time or half a day. Some dont get approved for many hours of monthly help by the state and so you end up having 6 different clients over the work week. You don't get paid for gas travel to first client you arrive at and last one you leave to go home but any driving done to take clients if you take a job that requires driving to Dr and shopping, you get paid for. There will always be a need for workers to help with the elderly or mentally disabled. My favorite job was a gal whose mom took drug when she was in utero so she ended up with not only mental problems but physical problems as well taken care of by meds. She was the sweetest person ever and I loved working with her. SHe considered me her friend as well although they teach you not to get too close. I got to work once short term to give respite care to a man so his wife who was his caregiver could get a few hours to herself to get away. He had a rare disease that would slowly kill him and he couldn't converse well, kinda like a stroke patient and one day I showed up and the wife told me he died over the weekend. Yes, I cried with her. Thats the hard part of being a caregiver, having a client die. But its part of life. If you think you can handle it all, then go for it. It's certainly a rewarding experience even though it can be tiring for those who can't do anything at all for themselves.

How can I tell if my fiance has lost interest in me? How can I show him that I am sexy? How can I get him to love me again? Is everything my fault? I am a 32 year old woman engaged to an older black man

Hon, it doesn't matter the color or age of a person as to how much a person will love you or lose interest. I don't know how long you've been together but often in the beginning, a relationship is spurred on by NRE-new relationship energy with that same excitement you got over recieving the toy you begged for as a gift. At first its great but after a while, it no longer holds your interest if it isn't something perfect for you. My example, I was artistic so the toys I never got bored with was etcha sketch and spirograph.
Relationships are the same. If once that excitement fades, we are left with whatever level of chemistry we truly have or not. Some people lie to themselves that they are just going through a funk and will get over it in time and the more time goes by, the harder it is to tell ones partner that it just doesn;t work for you.
Chemistry is what we feel, that invisible attraction due to the pheremones we release. If our pheremones are too different from the other, we won't be a good match and the interest thus is only so-so or lacking totally at some point after NRE. I can't say that you are doing major relationship no-no's that turn a person off. I dont have that info. but if you were, he'd likely have complained at least about one by now if it wsa that big a thing to him. What irritates us, we try to avoid or at least bring to others attention so things can go more smoothly. Perhaps what you see as a lack of interest is actually his real personality and theres nothing wrong with how he acts, you just may not know most men are normally like that (whatever it is you are picking up on) In most cases, its not something one or the other does wrong, they are just wrong for each other. My 1st hubby and I wear such a sexual mismatch not just chemistry but libidos and more. aFTER I left him, I dated and discovered that there were various levels of intensity sexually, even just kisses with guys I dated. I found my guy with whom I have chemistry and intensity and I am married to him now.
I wont give advice as to what you can do to make him love you again, cus it's fruitless if you're a mismatch.
However, here is a list I added to that i got off the internet that shows whether a guy loves you or not with an intro.

Either he's doing a bad job of showing it to you or you are doing a bad job of picking up on the signals.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesnt deserve it, who is wrong for her
while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, they don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence.

1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship..
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he wants and how possessive he feels if another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women translate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected.

7 Questions to know if he really loves you

1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.

How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.

I have all 7 to the extreme and am very happy with my man. You really need all of it if you're to spend the rest of your life with a person.

My boyfriend of almost 2 years, would've been two on April 11th, broke up with me about a week and a half ago. He said that he still loves me and cares about me and wants to be with me but he said he needs time to think about his feelings. He said that he has been feeling unhappy for the past couple of months and he feels like he isn't 100% into our relationship as I am and he says that it isn't fair to me. We still talk about every day and we have seen each twice since the break up and we end up having sex when we do see each other. I'm completely confused and heartbroken about the whole thing because he says he loves me but yet he is putting me through all of this pain and he said he is doing it to make "us" work. He said it is very hard to explain and I just want to know what to do. I'm tired of being confused and I'm feeling very depressed because we have talked about getting married within the next year or two. Please Help 23/f. I have dated other guys before him and one was for 2 years and that one ended very bad. I'm just so crushed and confused because I love him so much and don't want to throw away the past two years.

Two people can't make a relationship work better by being apart. What happens is that whatever it was that was causing the friction for him in the relationship is not there is he's not with you. So he basically is depriving himself of an opportunity to work on it with you, choosing rather to walk away or run from it.

What happens if you run to hide from a particular fear? It follows you whereever you go as you havent learned how to deal with it. If you face your fears head on, they wimp out and disappear.
A relationship takes more work though, in fact it takes both people putting in maximum effort to make it successful and that means trying every first possible to work out whatever is wrong. I'm not clear if he's unhappy past couple months in general in his life or only about the relationship for its possible that there is something else in life that is making him unhappy and he had figured out that it affects his relationship with you so he'd be looking in the wrong direction to come up with an answer. He means well, not wanting to hurt you, but his intentions and words are not enough and never will be no matter who he is trying to have a relationship with. I will warn that to stay with someone where you are settling for less because he just isn't capable or willing to give 100%, just because of time already invested, is the wrong way of looking at it. YOu need to think of yourself and what is truly best for you. I stayed too long with the wrong huband because of the years already invested and the kids we had when it would have been better to leave earlier. I eventually did after even more years together. And the thought process that helped was, "can I stand the relationship being just like this with no improvement for another year? Yeah, but I won;t be happy. Could I stand it for another 5? Oh, no, I sure hope not, that would be hard. Then I asked myself if I could handle the same old same old for another decade or til the end of my life and that thought made me break down crying. Deep inside, I didn't care how much time was put in or wasted in the past, we only have today and tomorrow and I didn't want to have to live and experience my tomorrows if nothing would improve. Keep that in mind if he doesnt come around and become willing to really talk things out. It is a possibility that he does love you. But is he actually 'in love' with you. There's a difference. You can love a favorite icecream flavor or ethnic food, etc but when applied to a relationship, that kind of love is not enough. In love, changes the playing field to where it is not an option to be apart because you hurt more being apart than being together, a part of you feels missing. Desiring the sex isn't proof of love. We all have sex for many reasons. So just that fact that talking every day and having some dates but not him bringing up what he thinks is the issue leaves you unable to work with him on it or support him if its all him needing the change. Or it may come down to the two of you perhaps making good best friends with benefits but not being perfect enough to last long term and the tests of time. If the two of you could love each other still even with each others faults, if one was disfigured in an accident, through loss of job, through major illness or disease, the harsh things of life, and still cling to each other for that one stability in life, your unconditional love for each other, then you have a love that will stand time. Right now there's still conditions or issues, problems on his part. If neither of you in talking almost every day and haven't touched the subject of the separation or discovered what the issue is yet, it may never happen. Its for you to decide whether to wait around for him and how long you are willing to do that. Set a limit and after that, cut your losses and look for another. Good luck.

I'm a sophomore in highachool and recently I've been thinking how in only two years I'll be leaving for college/embarking on a whole new experience of life . I'm really nervous just thinking about it even though it seems so far away . Anyway I can calm myself about life feeling so short and quick ?

A lot of fear and trepidation can be due to not feeling fully equipped to take on responsibility for oneself. So the answer is to have a good talk with the parents and work close with them, in trying to do more decision making on your own right now. What I propose is something my husband did with his daughter. Whenever there was a decision to be made on anything regarding her, she first tried to decide on what she saw as the best choice, then she ran it by Dad to see what he thought of it. Its a good way for using parents as a sounding board to bounce your ideas off of. LIke writing in here for advice but your parents know your and your particular situation better than any of us ever could. This way you can learn if you are a bit too short sighted or don't look far enough ahead or fail to consider all possible outcomes before making a decision. Once you find that your decision making is as solid as theirs, even if your end choice is something they wouldn't personally do, then you won't have as hard a time with entering your adult years and be able to enjoy them without worrying all the time whether you are doing it right or the best way. Good luck dear.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months a few days ago. I initiated it and thought I was able to get through it fine since I believe that I've never actually loved him as much as he loved me.

When I broke it to him on a Friday, he did not want to accept it and so I ignored him. I texted him on Saturday morning, urging him to say yes and agree to it since I'm hoping to find my closure too. He called me and we talked over the phone and I said very hurtful things to him. I told him about the two guys who tried to hit on me while we were still together and I admitted that I played along with them and did not make it a point to them that I was attached. (I still feel very bad about it but it was the period of time when we quarreled very often). He accepted it and said that he would still come over to my house to fight for me since he said that I didn't cheat on him. And yes, I've never cheated on him. During the phone call, I didn't know why I said all those hurtful things, but perhaps it was my own way of pushing him away. Then, he said something that ticked me off (I can't even remember what) and I hung up the phone. He tried to call several more times and I declined the call.

His mother called me afterwards and started screaming at me. And this was really the straw that broke the camel's back. After which, my mother called back to scold her and I never heard from him again. As a form of closure, I sent him an email but he has yet to reply. Right now, I'm feeling like I'd give anything to get back together with him because I know I will never find someone who will love me that much. (I know this is really selfish on my part too).

I can't text him or call him now since I think his mum will check his phone and my parents forbid me to do that since they think that this guy isn't worth it. also, I believe that if we tried to get together gaian, our parents would strongly disapprove which makes me feel like there's no way this relationship can go on.

Any help? :-(

Don't know your age dear. If you're a young teen, this is part of the territory and the parents having been that age once should know that 99% of relationships of teens do not last long in the first place as they are busy going through the learning experience. If you are college age or older, you're an adult and do not need the approval or disapproval of any other adult, parents included.
His mother sounds like a mental case and if you were to become married to him one day, she'd be the interfering mother in law making your life miserable. It may also mean that he clings to Moms apron strings and lets her rule his life instead of make a stand and handle his own life affairs. Either situation would be enough to convince me not to try to get back into a relationship with the guy.

I can't tell you why you did and said what you did either. We all do such things in life at some point and regret it later. However if you look close and find yourself actiing like that consistently, then perhaps time would be best spent trying to challenge yourself in such areas to grow up a bit more, as you're the only one who can make yourself change for the better.
As for whether to get back with him or not, if you are still under 18 and not an adult, what the parents dictate pretty much goes. You need to learn to have open in depth conversations with them, you and them both listening to each others points of view on any subject including this guy. But you also need to trust that it is entirely possible that your parents with their greater amount of experience in life, are able to see something that has them concerned and therefore disapproving of the relationship now. I trusted my parents and listened to their advice. It seems you may want to do otherwise. If you do, you will break your parents trust and you may get hurt in the relationship by his interfering mother.

When I was 20 and married, I thought I had found the best person for me. At 20, I was an adult but without a brain that was fully complete growing to its mature completeness which doesnt begin to happen until the mid 20's. Anytime before then, our decision making ability is compromised by a mind unable to weigh outcomes, or make good decisions. It was a big mistake and he became abusive. I stayed way too long with him through raising of our children. So while you may think now that you'd never find someone any better than him who loves you as he does, that is yet to be seen. Same as it was for me. I am now remarried to a man who is as different from the first husband as night from day. And of the boyfriends along the way inbetween, even those whom I thought were the best I'd ever be able to come across, I always found someone a step better while I learned and grew with my experiences.
If he was really the ideal person, and you were really deeply in love, it would have been near impossible for you to break up with him unless he had been treating you in a destructive manner, hitting, verbal abuse, lying and cheating, etc. Even then, many women stay with an abusive person, settling for less. Young love or first love can always feel so special that you think nothing can replace him. Let time go by and see how you think about him after months have gone by or another year. No, you won't forget him, we will always have our memories but the pain of the separation or hurt of breakup will lessen over time and it becomes easier. If a couple years go by and you've both matured more and still both have extremely strong feelings for each other, it will be worth a try to get together and see how you do. But if you are a teen living with parents, it might be best to let him go dear.

How do you respond to something like that when, although you're cool with it, you know that your wife DOES NOT want your daughter to share a birthday with a cousin? She does not want her child to have to share a birthday with another one of her parents' grandchildren. She doesn't want her to have to share her spotlight on her special day.

To be honest, I feel a little sorry for the little squirt (sister in law's baby) because he'll be the son of your father in law's least favorite daughter. His universe already revolves around his oldest daughter and the grandchildren he got from her, so he's probably gonna try to push the new kid out of the spotlight too.

Mother in law's different, but big deal. This new kid is still gonna get shafted and treated like he CHOSE to be born on that day just to steal attention from his cousin. I feel bad for him because this is how I was treated by my family. I was ignored and deprived of attention and affection and I feel bad that my family's gonna do that to someone else. I also do want my daughter to get a chip on her shoulder and think that she's the ONLY one with a right to be treated well on her birthday. Lastly, I don't want this to cause bitter blood between us, the new kid, and his parents.

I assume the issue is that the entire extended family faithfully gets together for each persons birthday celebration from babys to grandparents and everyone in between and thats why you see there being an issue. Is it really any less hassle if each person had their own day and didn't share it with anyone else? Maybe you think not. But I know better. My ex had a birthday on the 9th, first daughter born the 7th of same month and the 3rd born on the 4th. So each had their own day, but I found it exhausting to try to come up with 3 different birthday partys all within the same week.

When my kids got to school age and began to make friends, there was no one celebration for all thing anymore. We let each child have their own birthday party with chosen theme and just their friends present and chose whatever weekend was before or after their birthday so it made it easier for kids to attend. We had a separate get together for all the relatives to celebrate all 3 coming to share good wishes or bring all those gifts if they could afford it. Where there is a will (for peace and compromise) there is a way. Where people choose to remain shortsighted and immature about things totally out of their control, there will be strife, anger, frustration and lack of peace all of their own making. I would suggest going for the former, peace and compromise.

I am 13 years old and have played lacrosse for 3 years. I'm good at the sport but would like to try track (I can't do both). The girl that I like is also doing track. My best friend agreed he would do track if I do and he also plays lacrosse. (You don't need to try out for the sports at my age level).

So should I play lacrosse or join track?

A good thing about being your age is that there are so many things yet to try in the world. It is actually a good thing to expose yourself to different sports or anything different from what you know. There may be initial interests but until a person is really immerged in that activity for a while. This is how some people discover a new hobby they like or that they have a talent for whatever it is. And as you said, theres a girl you like who is in track. So go for it!

I was wondering.. Is it ok for a 22 year old male to date a 17 year old girl as long as both are alright with it and everything is concentual?

Depends on the state you are in. There may be some that recognize a person to be at an age of sexual consent at 16, or 17 but in most places it is 18. And that one year difference could be a big deal if someone else knew. Even if you were dating and not having sex, how long do you think you could hold off, until you turn 18, months or another year? Most people will assume that a 22 year old man is not going to date someone that he can't have a sexual relationship with. If both sets of parents know you both are dating and okay with you just dating, nothing else, then you're fine. Its when sex comes into the picture it gets weird.

My brother is 35 years-old, and for a VERY long time, has fallen into the pattern of dating girls who are superficial and manipulative. He also has a problem where he gets serious VERY quickly and basically allows who he dates to take advantage of him. The excitement of being in a relationship blinds him to the red flags that I see all to clearly. That said, he has been dating a girl for about 2.5 months, she is 26, already divorced, and has already brought some of her things to his apartment and had my brother pay $400 to have someone organize his entire place (not to mention she put up decorations, etc)... obviously it seems a plot to infiltrate his life. When we went out a couple times, her behavior struck me as bizarre- overly high energy, and attention seeking. When we were all in a cab, at one point she put her hand on my brother's mouth and said ,"no one cares what you think." The entire ride, she was spastic, overly high energy, etc. I can see she is superficial, manipulative, and attention seeking. Worst of all, she has my brother convinced that she is not. He likes her a lot, they are very into each other, and it worries me. I need to have a talk with him but do not know how to approach the topic or what I should say. Any advice?

The pattern he is in may be for a reason. Subconscious, he may be afraid to settle down so he doesn't seek stable marry-able women. He may be addicted to the NRE, New relationship energy and will in trade for getting to feel it, allow a girl to take over his life. NRE doesnt last long so after a couple months to maybe 6 mos tops, that feeling fades and he needs to get his next high from finding a new girl.
It is hard to not say anything when we see a loved one going down the wrong path but if any adult, its their life and their choice to make and their mistakes to hopefully eventually learn from.

Ask yourself: "Do I really think he is so blinded he doesnt see what he choosing in relationships? Because if he is really that dense, then words from loved ones are not going to get throught to him either.

I am going to guess that you and your brother are very close or have been until he started dating girls you didn't approve of, whether with just cause or not. If you go along with him and his date, that's pretty close. There just might be a possibility that you resent another lady taking your place as most important person for him but I dont know either of you and have to just guess.
Maybe you are twins, or maybe you were the older sister always looking after him and can't let go of that role. Do you know what the rest of the family thinks of all his girlfriends including both the past and current one? How are they handlling it? Are they constantly having talks with him or are they keeping silent and allowing him to make the choices he needs to make as an adult. If you decided to get multiple body piercings, and dye your hair baby blue tomorrow, would your parents have a talk with you and tell you that they don't approve? Would your brother?
Sound to sound harsh but I do know how hard it is to stand by and watch a couple of my adult children make terrible choices that hurt both of them in the relationship area and for one the added mental health area as well. Everyone else has already said something or confronted numerously and it has brought no change about. The reason being, no one person can 'make' another person choose to change. They basically have to hit rock bottom and have a desire that comes from within them, not from outside influences, to actually successfully change. Without the desire to change, they won't. So you're welcome to try but at the risk of him shutting you out of his life as I have witnessed happening in my family between siblings. Or keep silent and pray for him instead. Prayer is powerful. My younger sister saw years ago that I was on a path of being very narrow minded and other things and prayed that I would see the light. It didn't come immediately but when it did, it was due to a want to change with also help from God. God can reach into a persons mind and heart and spark an interest to change without forcing them to it. He gave us all free wills to make good and bad decisions and as you see it right now, it seems your brother is making all the bad ones. But it is his choice.

I've said everything to tell you its better not to approach the topic. If you still feel hell bent on doing so, beating around the bush, he may not have a clue what you're talking about so just come out and be direct about it. No special lead up, just, I've got something I need to get off my chest about something I've been observing you doing and then say it.

I'm 11 and we have to do a presentation on how to make something. Like a craft, how to bathe a dog, How to make cookies, ect. I have already made my poster 5 safety tips, Why?, Summary, Steps, Supplies, Title Page. I made notes and got everything ready and I was actually really excited, and promised I wouldn't be scared. ( I'm making Diy rainbow roses.. As time got closer I am getting really nervous. I have a few questions
About this
1. Why do people get nervous as the event gets closer?
2. I was not going to do it but it is 4 test grades so it would be 6 0/F. Would you do it.
3. My class laughs at everything ( They're dirty minded) And I know I'll either laugh when I'm doing it or mess up and not win a purple ribbon ( county prize)

Next part
I have been going on multiple pen pal site. I found some really great pen pals. We write letters and I get one from Germany, China. I know I can't trust many people online. Do you think its safe for me to have a pen pal?

Oh how I hated presentations when I was your age cus I had social anxiety real bad. I never had a problem coming up with a good project and would have been happy doing it for the teacher one on one but in front of all the others, yeah it was hard. You don't want to risk your grade dropping just for the fear of going through it, so even though the day is getting closer, resolve to do it, no matter what and I'd have a plan in mind for exactly what I'd do when I get home to soothe my nerves or any disappointments, something that you really like alot , to treat yourself for going through with it. It won't make it any easier to do but help give you incentive to go through with it.

Pen pals are wonderful. I had penpals the old fashioned, pen and paper, snail mail way when I was younger. Where the problem comes in is when puberty hits and kids start wanting to date and be in a relationship and begin to make some foolish choices or at least not the very best ones. Long distance dating relationships are one of the worst ways to learn in your dating experience. There is always an amount of illusion to what you hear and see on line with any person when it comes to impressing some one in a relationship. As far as just friends to talk to in another country, a person can say they are around your age but be actually an adult who gets a kick out of talking to young kids or worse. on the positive side, talking to real kids in other countries, whom you have seen on SKype, its a great way to hear from someone living in another country about what life is like there, the foods, the customs, etc. so enjoy it. But be careful to not hand out any personal info.

I am McKenzie and I have a few questions so I apologize for it being so lengthy.
So this kid in our class ( A Guy) was sniffing markers ( sharpies), Snorting smarties and candy. Smelling hand sanitizer. Evidently he got high off of this. He got a really bad head ache like a migraine and he was about to cry.
Which he isn't one to cry. At first I thought it was just normal he always gets headaches ( I didn't know about the high at the time). Then I heard. He walked funny and was acting drunk. I guess about 30-45 minutes later he felt better and we all took a restroom break. He went and he was talking to someone in the other stall. Which I know cuz the kid in the stall told me the next part. He was laughing and then he stopped. Left the stall crying his eyes out. He told his guy friend something. Long story short he peed blood.
BTW I heard it could be a side effect for type 2 diabetes so
He's healthy skinny tall and eats all fruits and veggies

Next question can a teacher make fun of you?
We we're taking a test and basically the teacher called us Lesbos. Not an insult but I'm not and she said it out loud.
Would she get fired if staff knew?
Next

A teacher was making fun of gays , is this approved for teachers too do?

Thanks

Teachers are highly regulated these days, there are so many rules to govern how they act around and treat the students which if they don't abide by, can cause trouble for them. I can't say how strict school officials would be, be they may be reprimands at first and repeat offenses cause them to lose their job. A teacher is not supposed to tease or name call. Students suffer as is already with self image and for some even teasing that comes across as serious to a child can have an adverse effect in the kid.

As for sniffing things, it is not a wise practice and can end up deadly. Some people are also becoming more sensitive and easily affected by what we consider normal scents in society today. Chemicals used in making paper can set off allergic reaction in a person whose body can no longer fight off allergens the toxins or chemicals in wise use in society today. Some are so allergic their immune system can't handle living in a city and they must go live in the country, wear clothing and cloth make by hand, paper made be hand, home made soaps, home grown food to even have a somewhat normal life. Perhaps he is sensitive that way to scents and instead of usual allergy reactions, his is a 'high' or disorientation. Its possible. The only person who can really be of any help is a medical professional who can begin to test for all sorts of things. Peeing blood is serious! He may be too scared to tell his parents but someone should so they can take him to Dr. cus if he isn't seen and treated for what is wrong with him, he could die. If you've heard this info, it may be best to pass it on to a school counselor so that it can be passed on to his parents to check it out. If I were the parent, I'd want to know. I'd be pissed if my child died because he/she was too afraid to tell me and yet others knew about it and never did what was needed to get that info passed on to me to check it out if it was for real or not.

Try to imagine a woman like this and tell me if you think she's an absolutely abysmal mother. She has a whole mess of children including eight sons and a daughter. She was prone to multiple births and was going to quit after she finally had a girl, but was surprised with triplet sons.

She loves all of her so, so very much that she can hardly stand it. She loves EACH of them so much that she would die for any one of them without thinking about it. She loves them equally, but she's having trouble understanding a particular emotion she's having.

Not all of the kids have the same father. Her third son, Luke had a father who was murdered 17 years ago. Because of this, Luke's mother has always been terribly protective of him, more so than the other kids, and doesn't know why. She doesn't love him more that the other kids and his father's murderer is dead, so it's not like she can come after him, but she's still so crippled by the fear of losing him as she is about losing one of the other kids, but in a different way. It's not like it'd be worse than losing one of the other kids as she does not value his life any more than theirs, which makes this feeling so much more confusing.

She had a dream on night that two of her sons, Luke and Shane (one of the triplets) were in an accident recently. They were hit by a truck driven by a man that was having a heart attack at the time. It wasn't as bad of an accident as it sounds like as the truck wasn't moving very fast.

Luke suffered a few broken ribs and two bruised lungs, but was never in danger. Shane wasn't as lucky, but wasn't terribly unlucky either. He had broken ribs, bruised and punctured lungs, a crushed lower right leg, a broken wrist, and a cracked elbow. Both boys were basically guaranteed to survive, but Shane's situation was scarier, or should have been anyway. He had to have surgery to repair some bleeding in his chest and abdomen and got out of surgery right about the time mom got to the hospital.

She got to see Luke first and although she felt like she was in Hell when she heard about the accident, she was in Heaven when she saw Luke sitting up, looking at her, and talking to her. She had to be careful of his chest, but being able to hug his neck and head was one of if not THE greatest feeling she's ever had in her life.

Then she went to Shane's room. He was still unconscious from have been anesthetized, he was on a ventilator until the anesthesia wore off, and he was just heartbreaking to look at. It was definitely not the good feeling she got when she went into Luke's room.

Shane started breathing on his own the next morning and woke up a few hours later (they had him pretty sedated). Seeing this was an unbelievable delight for his mother. She was so happy, but it was a different kind of happy than when she saw that Luke was okay. Not less happy, just different happy.

When she woke up from this dream, she felt like a terrible, terrible mother and is wondering why she's feeling this way. She can't help but assume it's related to what happened to Luke's father. She has a few theories about why this could be happening including that she associates Luke with feelings of loss more than the other kids because she lost his father. Perhaps The thought of him becoming the victim of an act of violence angers hers terribly because of what happened to his dad. Or perhaps she just couldn't wait for him to become a man and reach the age his father was at the time of his death. She wanted to see how much he was like his dad and didn't want anything to happen to him before that could happen.

Why do YOU think this happens and do you think this woman is an absolutely terrible, pathetic mother?

Looking back at my childhood and my experience as a mother of 3 girls, I see that there are reasons why a parent will find a closer bond with one child over the others for whatever reason it is that makes it so. The reason doesnt have to make any sense to any other people. Everyone is different. Of 4 kids, I was Dads favorite, the one he enjoyed more spending one on one time chatting with over the others. there were occasions when he said how much I looked like his own mom but his parents were long dead and I'd never met them. Perhaps it was simply that I looked like his mom to him and that maybe him feel something extra with me he didn't with the others, although he stilled loved all of us. this is natural. As a mom, I found that I had a favorite child at different times in their life or in mine. For conversation with, my oldest was most like me, able to strike up conversation easily with people, even strangers, when it came to seeing lots of natural talent come to the surface in the areas of music and art, my middle daughter became my favored one to spend time with as that was also a part of me. It took longest for me to find a connection to my youngest until recently, she is 23 now. Before this, I felt almost guilty too, as I always had lots to share about my oldest or middle child that i was proud of or that I connected to. It hasn't been until this last year that in talking with my youngest I am discovering finally something that i connect to, its the things she stands for, believes in, how she makes her choices and decisions in life, what her values and morals are, her loyalty, gumption, tough and tender at the same time that made me realize she has all that in common with me and now I am finally feeling a close connection to her as well but it took until she reached 22, 23!!! It may sound shocking but it never meant I didn't love her along the way. I was a loving, creative, fun Mom, always there for and easy to talk to about anything, with all of them. You have 9 children(I only had 3)to find a way to have a special connection to each in some way. Dont' worry if its not there. It will come in time and its also normal if it doesn't.

Well ok I don't know what to do or think I have missed my period and have been craving really weird foods and I had sex with a guy that my friend hooked me up with and he wore a condom but it kept slipping off and I don't know if its a possibility that I might be pregnant because if my mom finds out she will send me away and I don't want that.

Take a pregnancy test to know for sure. If you are, then if its too hard for you to approach Mom first, think of other adults you may feel more comfortable telling of your predicament to. Perhaps Grandma is very openminded sort and supportive person, maybe an Auntie with a good listening ear, maybe a close friend of yours Mom who treats you like a daughter when you're over and you really feel comfortable chatting with her. Most every teen girl who believes themself to be pregnant is afraid to tell their parents for fear of being kicked out of the house.
If you told your Mom nothing, eventually a growing tummy will tell her for you. One way or the other, she'll find out, it can't remain hidden forever. SO the issue then becomes, at what point do I tell the parents and how do I tell them. I say, the sooner the better. Some parents will throw their fit of disappointment...often it's not in you as a person but because they had dreams of so much more for you. It's like the loss of someone or job, there's a loss of your innocense and your carefree teen years and they will grieve over that issue too. But most parents still love their children and eventually come around and are as supportive as they can be.

By the way, parents are legally to provide for their children a home, food, clothes, basic needs until the child is of legal age at 18. So technically, you can't get kicked out of the home.

But it can be very scary to blurt out such news to them. You may do better finding someone supportive who will go with you as you reveal the news to Mom. It is best to talk to someone at any rate as soon as possible. I don't know how long ago the sex was but if pregnant, you need to be discussing options. Everyone handles it differently. You shouldn't be pressured into one option by parents or anyone else but there are 3, having the baby and keeping it to raise it, giving it up for adoption, or an abortion. However if you wait too long due to fear, you may go beyond the time that medical professionals will actually do an abortion, where its not safe anymore, and be left with only the other two options. It is easier to find an understanding person who will be supportive if you reveal this to someone other than a parent as you are not their child so they are able to look at this objectively. Do that and ask them to go with you as you go to tell your Mom or both parents.

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