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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I'm 14 and a female.. I asked a question about 2 months ago about me not sure if I should go to Mexico or not, and well I did go. It was an unforgettable experience. unfortunately my grandmother passed away and my mom and I have been having issues since then. I've always had this anger towards my mom. I try to let it go but the thought of what she did/does makes me sick. A few years back i was a lot younger and my older sister caught her sexting on webcam with a man. I was too young to really be upset but a few months ago she left her phone in my room and she left to the store and I also did something I shouldn't have. I snooped through her phone and saw she was sexting and had pictures of a man's area.. I haven't told her anything, my sister back then did but I didnt want to create the tension that they created before i thought i'd just forget about it but i didnt. its been making us fight so much i get angry for the smallest thing, how can i make ourb relationship better?
My condolences on the passing of your grandmother.
It appears to me you have a twofold hurt going on right now. The passing of your grandmother and finding information out about your mother that you feel is cheating. Both hurts are something you are having a problem dealing with.
You know and have said it was wrong of you to be snooping through your moms phone so we won't go there.
There is a big difference between sexting and having an extramarital affair. Is sexting cheating? It could be depending on the circumstances surrounding the sexting.
Being 14 you may not understand fully what an adult sex life is like especially for married couples. It is very possible dad is aware of moms sexting, if so this is not cheating if he approves of it. Married couple do things to spice up their sex lives that their children may not understand and frankly is none of their business. Which may be why your mom got mad at your sister. Not that she was cheating but because your sister found out something she wasn't supposed to know.
Another reason mom may be doing so is even though she and your dad may have an active sex life. Mom may not feel as desirable as she did before she was married. It is generally referred to as a mid life crisis. When this happens, and it can happen to both sexes, some will cheat on their spouse, some will have plastic surgery and in males they go out and buy fancy sports cars.
In this case yes mom is in a way cheating on your dad but it is somewhat of a benign form as actual intercourse I assume is not happening.
What is your role in all this. Absolutely nothing. You have learned something you should not know anything about. It is not like you saw mom coming out of a motel room with another man. Telling mom you were snooping through her phone will only injure your relationship more.
If you want to better your relationship what you should do. What the adult thing to do is to sit down with mom and ask her how the two of you can have a better relationship.
Part of your problem is puberty. Puberty does tend to make teenagers quick tempered. During your conversation with mom you could acknowledge that. You could also tell her you understand that there are medications your doctor might prescribe, mood stabilizers, to help you through this period. If she wants you would be willing to discuss this with her and your doctor. If your were to take then it would be only for a year or so.
Most importantly is to find out what sets mom off and for mom to find out what sets you off. Then to find ways to eliminate those factors from daily routines.
So I have been talking to this guy for a year off and on. At first when we started talking all we did was make out but as the relationship went on we did more. He ended up giving me head. Recently we were at a park, but we just stayed in his car. We started making out then he started to finger me. My pants ended up off and he ended up giving me head. We hung out a few more times after that but then the last time we hung out he didn't wanna hook up because all we do is kiss. I tried to give him a hand job and all he said was don't unbutton my pants unless you're giving me head. I decided to stop talking to him after that because I realized that maybe this wasn't a real relationship and he was just using me. But we would talk on the phone all of the time and text. But Was he just using me? And is what I did slutty?
First of all I don't like the word slut or anything like it. The original meaning of the word dates back to 1405 Middle English and has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a woman's appearance and role as kitchen help. You might want to remember this if someone should ever call you a slut. You can then correct them as to the proper use of the word. Jus saying as we tend to trash our language more than any other spoken language.
As to being used, Yes he was using you. He was using you mostly for his own pleasure. From what you have written his only interest in you was a lustful one. You may have been the recipient of sexual pleasure but it was just sex to him there was no love behind it.
Boys between the time they start puberty and well into their early twenties do not define love as a girl does. Most often they confuse love with lust. Once their lust has been satisfied they are ready to move on to something or someone else.
Hey if you're a guy and know anything what so ever about style or watches and you're somewhere between 17 and 23 (or know what someone between these ages would be into) and think you could help me pick out a good gift for my boyfriend please please help me!
please respond with like an email address or phone number that we can discuss at.
Very few of us will give out our personal email addresses and none of us that I know off give out our home phone numbers. what makes this site work is the anonymity.
If you're concerned that your boyfriend may not like the watch you pick out for him. The alternative is to go to the Jewelry store or Department Store and get a gift Certificate in the amount in the amount you are willing to spend on this watch.
The other way of looking at this gift is it is a gift from you to him. The watch is something you want him to have and it should fit the style that you see him in. The exception to this would be if he desires a sports type watch and you wish to get him one.
This brings up another problem. In the area of sports watches the prices run from unbelievable to are they crazy for most of the good watches. A good sports watch can easily cost $300 or more.
In short the watch is your gift to him and it should reflect how you see him and how you see his style. I hope this helps.
Thank you so much for your advice I mean i have been trying to stay away from the house by spending the night at my aunt's house almost everyday I go home every other day and I try to stay away from her to keep from getting hit because I know if she hit's me it's my natural instinct to hit her back and I am not going to Jail over her it's not worth it . If she hit's me in front of her kids is that considered abuse of her kids could I get her charged with child abuse ?
The reason i am asking this is because she has hit me in front of kids before . I don't really want to press charges because I don't want her kids to see their mom arrested but I will if I have to for my own protection .
It is not child abuse for children to see adults fight. It's just not good parenting. Domestic abuse is when two adults by and get each other as to who goes to jail is generally determined by who is hurt the most one that is for the most is generally considered the victim You can and you should try to get away from her if she tries to get you then you go to the police.
The police generally do not like to rest parents in front of their children they will do everything they can not. Generally what will happen if they can is to take the person outside to talk to them at that point they will make the arrest placed him in handcuffs and put them in the police car. The children will be told that mommy or daddy whatever the case maybe needs to go and talk with the police and I'll be home in the morning.
I think it's important to have your sister removed from home. I don't think it is good for the children to watch their mother to beat up on their Aunt. This sets a very poor learning example for them so the right thing to do is if your sister is hitting you and beating you causing you injury then it is time to bring the police; of course the choice is yours
I'm in a dilemma now. I'm now in college and don't know what I want to be. I choose two majors based on subjects I like. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing either of them.
The thing is- I feel like life has no meaning anymore. We're all slaves of society. We're like puppets. We all do the same thing: go to school, get an education, get a job, make money, get married, have kids and die. You only get vacation once a year and you wake up every day and go through the same routine. I don't want to live my life in such a way.
I'm not saying I want to live my life like the Kardashians. I want to do something that makes a difference and I really don't care about money. I just feel like my existence is so small and meaningless.
Honestly, I don't even say to myself, "If I have to live my life like that, it's best if god takes me right now." I don't want to die but I have nothing to look forward to in the future.
And my family is giving me a lot of pressure because after college I basically have no idea where to go from there.
First let me say relax your not alone in how you feel. Your grandparents generation felt the same way back in the 60"s. Many good things came out of that generation besides free love.
What your feeling now is the difference between academia and the real world. It would have helped if you would said what your majors are for then I might be able to be more specific.
I have always said money isn't everything. You need money to exist in the real world. You need to find a job that satisfies the inner you while supplying an income to maintain the outer you in a level of comfort for you and your family.
Now that level differs for each of us. Meaning some of us are happy with apartment living while others cannot exist unless the have the ten bedroom mansion and all the accompaniments. What is most important is that you're happy in what you do.
We all, those of us that make an honest living, contribute to society in some manner even the Kardashians. They provide some of us with entertainment.
Nothing says you have to follow the career path you have studied for. You made this decision four years or more ago most likely with or at the insistence of your parents. Things change, you have changed, you have matured along with your desires and feelings. There is nothing wrong with this. You are also an adult now capable of making your own decisions.
I would suggest that you at least try one of the career paths for a few years. You have only seen the academic side of these careers. The academic side and the actual working real side of most careers are as different as day and night. Right now you are as they say book smart but street naïve.
Since I do not know just what it is you have studied for I cannot say with any certainty just what mark you will leave but you will leave a mark on this world that I am almost certain of. I did and never expected to.
As I said to begin with your normal having the doubts you have. You do not have to go for the job with the big salaries. If you have studied the law then you could look for work with agencies that supply legal services to the poor. It doesn't pay well though it can be very rewarding.
Your college education will open many doors for you, not just the doors you prepared for. Give some thought to what you really want to do with your life. Then see what in your background and education may be useful in perusing that objective.
well let's see here it goes i am 21 years old female my sister is 30 years old and she moved in on Thursday mom made a special trip to Florida to get her after she beat up my mom and beat me up and she only wants to live with us when she has know where else to and when she doesn't have a girl friend that she can move in with yes I said girlfriend she is gay . she has a 10 year old son and a 12 year old daughter that my mom have custody of because she had her kids walking in a drug infested neighborhood at night with no shoes no jacket and we were not allowed to see them . she has showed her 12 year old daughter sex toys in the past while she has stayed with us. I think that she is on drugs she doesn't care about anybody but herself . my other sister who lives in Texas can't stand her either. I am scared of because she hits me cusses me and i have told mom before that i am scared of her and I don't have the money to get my own place so I can't move out . her girlfriends always come first before her sister her mom and her kids . she gave me a bloody nose one day and hurt me so bad I had to go to the emergency room that was about 2 years ago when that happened and she is already bossing me around she hasn't changed at all . what should I do .
It sounds like your mother is a good women allowing your sister to come back and live with her and taking custody of your sisters children. From what you have written it may be your mother is fighting a losing battle with your sister.
You and your sister are both adults. If she hits you then she is guilty of battery. I know you may not want to call the police and charge her with battery but this is what you may have to do. For then you can take out a stay away order on her. Meaning she cannot live with you because she cannot be that close to you by order of the court.
Many states have what is called a Domestic assault law. Meaning anyone who habitats together and assaults one another; the aggressor is guilty of domestic violence. Under this law it matters not if charges are pressed. The police are required by law to separate them, it could be family members such as you and your sister, by taking the one they believe is the aggressor to jail. Usually it is just for the remainder of the night.
In the morning the other party can go to district court and get an order against the aggressor to stay a distance away. This is then served by the police or the Sheriff on the other party and they are removed from the home.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. Being gay is not something your sister has not chosen to be even if it appears that way to you. She was born this way and though she may have tried to live as a heterosexual it was not her true sexual identity.
Using drugs, if she is a drug user, is something she has chose to do. You cannot force her to stop using, she has to want to stop. Unfortunately to do so she has to hit bottom and everyone's bottom is different.
My brother in-law is a recovery alcoholic for over 25 years now. When I first met him we spoke about addictions and recovery. He is the one who told me about hitting bottom before accepting help. His bottom was waking up in the drunk tank. Since then he has become very active in Alcohol Anonymous and other preventive programs mainly aimed at teenage drinking.
You do not need to be a punching bag for your sister. You do not need to live in fear in your own home. If your sister assaults you again, call the police. Charge her with assault if there is not a domestic battery law in your state. Take out a stay away order against her. Doing so just may be the best thing you can do for your sister for being homeless just may be her bottom and she may ask for and get the help she needs if she is doing drugs.
If she is just plain irresponsible then this will be a wake up call for her as well. She needs to be an adult and not to depend on mommy every time her life goes in the toilet.
What you tell your mother is that by picking up the pieces when your sister is close to being down and nowhere else to turn that she is enabling your sisters. This is keeping her from learning how to be responsible for herself and if need be to get off drugs and become the responsible person she needs to be.
An old friend of mine whom I have known for 13 years fell out with me 3 years ago. My ex friend has been dating a very manipulative guy for the past 8 years and since, I have seen her loose her friends over the years.
Well, Too keep this short, I haven't seen or spoken to her in 3 years.
In the past month or two another old friend of mine found where I live (I live in the next building over from my ex friend ) We all used to be friends in high school back 10 years ago. I noticed since I got back in contact with this old friend, My ex friend has been seemingly nice all of the sudden.
The other day I was walking and she waved from a distance, I stood there for a few seconds dumb founded and walk away. I couldn't bring myself to wave as even 3 years later I just have a lot of hard feelings and anger towars her. She basically allowed her boyfriend to turn her against all her friends and has in the past given me the cold shoulder quite a few times. I admit, I am one to hold a grudge and if you screw me I never forgive. Why all the sudden ia ahe being "nice? She doesn't know I am in contact with this old friend. (I stopped talking to her also because i didn't want drama) I noticed she doea it when she's alone too.
The old saying "forgive and forget" seems to be appropriate for what you have written.
From what you have written all I can say is it would not hurt you to say hello. Ask her how she has been and to see if she is wanting to reestablish the friendship you two once had. This cost you nothing but a few minutes time. To hold a grudge for this long is a waste of energy. Life is to short to put walls up between you and others especially in this instance as you say it was her boyfriends doing. Love has strange effects on people and she may have not been aware it was she and not you.
There is also the chance that she may no longer be with this guy or that she is wanting to leave him but needs some type of support network to do so. This is where old friends come in. Spend the time to see what here intentions are. Then decide if there is any purpose or opportunity to reestablishing a friendship with her.
I will recieve my bachelors degree in community health(public health) in december then I will be done with school and ready to work. The problem is I dont think I will like it im not sure what I will be doing for a job and I just started an internship to find out. I am more of a structured person and I like to know what I have to do or will be doing everyday like a nurse. There is a program that I want to do but not sure if I should stress myself out after already doing 5 years of college. I am 22 years old. Since I will have a bachelors degree their is a program that will allow me to do 16 months all year round of really fast and hard school to get my bachelors in nursing. The problem is it requires that before I apply I would have to take 4 really hard classes that I did not take in college. Microbiology chemistry I and II human development. Which means after my bachelors degree I have to take all those classes which will take a year and then i can apply and wont be done for another 16 months. Should I stick with my community health degree or should I try the really hard nursing where I have to dedicate my life only to that and cant have a job?
Both career fields are very rewarding. Nursing though is not as structured as you may think unless it is your intention to work in a doctors office. Nurses who work in a doctors office do have the most structured positions in nursing though it is also the lowest paying position in nursing.
You sound a little burnt out with school. To try and force another 2 years and 4 months of school upon yourself at this time my not be the right thing. This also may be a case of the grass looking a little greener on the other side of the fence.
Since my family has operated on the peripheral side of the medical field for some time; I've been a volunteer firefighter, my son is a career Paramedic/Firefighter and my wife works in the mental health field. Let me give you some insight to just how unstructured nursing can be.
Nurses who work in hospitals, depending on where in the hospital they choose to work in the and where they are trained to work can and do demand salaries upwards of $60.00 an hour in some parts of the country. As for being structured a hospitals nursing position is far from structured. Yes, there are certain things a nurse is expected to do and is supposed to accomplish on each shift.
Again depending on where in the hospital you are working will depend on just how well a structured day you can have. If you are working an intensive care ward there are things you must do in caring for the patients in your care; that is the structured part. Where things get disarranged is when new patients come in from either the ER or surgery. These patients do not come in on any schedule and with little advance notice. When they do come in you need to stop what you're doing, get the patient settled, then go back to what you were doing. This repeats itself all through the shift. You also have to attend to any emergencies patents in the ward may have during your shift.
ER nursing; there is absolutely no structure to the ER nurses day. When the patient shows up at either of the two entrances you need to scramble according to the nature of the needs of the patient. The same is true for a Trauma nurse which is the most important areas of nursing in any hospital and generally the most highest paying.
I would suggest you take a short break from school. Work in the field you are trained for and really get a feel for it for as I said it too is a very rewarding part of the medical field. If you wish you can take one or two of the required course to be made up at your local community college. My son did this for his degree in emergency medicine.
In a year if you still wish to be a nurse you can go back to school for the bridge course. To force yourself to go to 26 months more of schooling at this time might be more than you can take and you may end up walking away from both careers. That would be a terrible waste.
18/f/New Zeland
Ok, I have had one bf before but tbh I am inexperienced with guys.At my work there's this guy (27)who comes in to the back as he's related to the manager.
He's known for flirting with the teenagers who work there-they've since left. It's quite obvious he likes me (making jokes and things).
But my question is not related to my situation, its more general. Why do males generally find younger girls attractive/desirable? Because to me it doesn't make sense-I mean what's attractive about a girl that lives with her parents and stuff who is 10 years younger??
This is sort of the opposite of those women who like to attract or look attractive to younger men. It makes them feel as if they still have it. Just what that it is, is somewhat different to each individual.
To some it is they are still sexy. To others that they can attract the attention of a young woman. Same for a woman and a young male. Frankly when you boil it all down to its base reason it sex and sex appeal.
Now there is another reason one not quite so lecherous that I used before I retired. My job had me calling on designer showrooms. These showrooms were generally staffed by young very pretty women. My job was to work closely with them to show them how to integrate my products into their designs.
It wasn't long before I was 5 to 10 years older than some of the designers I was working with. I had to find a way to put them at ease and let them know I wasn't the type of guy who going to harm them when we were alone.
I started by joking with them and that progressed to giving neck massages when we were bent over drafting boards, but that was as far as I went. We would go to lunch but it was just lunch; where I would ask about them, their boyfriend, husbands and babies.
Eventually I had to stop the neck rubs as it became a politically incorrect thing to do. Most of the women who I gave the messages to got upset. Though when I explained why they understood. Most importantly my wife knew everything I did while away and calling on these young ladies. This was important to me for if I didn't tell her and even if it didn't get back to her in my mind without her knowledge it made me a letch.
Everytime me and my boyfriend want to have sex it takes forever for him to get hard, I don't do the whole strip tease lap dance or dress up. What are some ways to make him hard fast?
IF we are talking about a teenage boy; most all teenage boys will get an erection at just the suggestion that something sexual will happen. IF your boyfriend is having a problem getting and maintaining an erection then something else may be at work here.
One of the biggest causes of erectile dysfunction (problems getting an erection) in males of any age is drug use, both legal and illegal. Some of the legal drugs that would cause this problem would be drugs to control HDAD, Depression and high blood pressure as well as any combination of these drugs.
Of course most of the street drugs including marijuana will cause erectile dysfunction. Especially for heavy users of those drugs.
In every relationship and especially in a sexual relationship communication is very important. It is important to know what the others needs are in a sexual relationship if it is to be successful. In your relationship you need to know why your boyfriend is having this problem for it is not normal for a teenage boy.
If he is on prescription drugs then this is most likely the cause. Since he is most likely under 18 his doctor would probably not bring the subject up. But if he is over 14 he has the legal right under a law called HIPPA to discuss this with is doctor, without his parents participation, knowledge or permission, as do you.
The HIPPA Law, which is a Federal law provides those over 14 with medical confidentiality when comes to their reproductive systems. This means you, your boy friend or any one else over 14 can see a doctor with or without parental permission for any concerns, problems and treatment for anything related to their reproductive system.
They can also receive birth control medication.
Medical records for these visits are confidential and no one, not even your parents can see them without your expressed written permission to the doctor. The doctor cannot speak to your parents about any of these visits. All anyone needs to say to the doctor is, "I wish to invoke my rights under HIPPA."
With this in mind talk to your boyfriend an find out if he is taking medication for anything such as what I suggested above or anything else. If he is then this may be the problem and he should speak with his doctor or a Urologist. Remember he need not inform his parents if he wants to speak with a doctor.
Now if your boyfriend is using street drugs? I then advice you to reconsider your relationship with him especially a sexual one. Users of street drugs are the ones who are most likely to be infected with STDS. If your boyfriends is a user of street drugs then you are placing yourself in danger having sex with him. You should stop having sex with him and get yourself tested. The testing would also be confidential and could be done at any free clinic.
Hi I am a fourteen year old girl. Last December I read a paragraph about depersonilization disorder and I've heard if you keep thinking about it you will eventually 'get' the disorder. Long story short, I worried about getting this disorder for about nine months but I haven't had any of the symptoms and I really don't want to 'get' this disorder. How do I forget about this disorder? I am healthy but I'm always worried something is wrong with me. How can I build my confindence?
To get an illness or disorder by reading about it or thinking about it is called being a Hypochondriac which is a disorder all its own. You do not really get sick but you have tricked yourself into believing you are. Being a Hypochondria is a very disabling illness all its own as you worry and think you are sick with every illness and disease you read or hear about.
If this sounds like you then you need to see a psychologist to find out why you are like this and work to get past it. You don't want to spend the rest of your life in fear of getting some dread disease simply because you are worried you might. That is not how it happens.
In short my advice is that you see a therapist, a clinical psychologist. If you are under 18 you need parental permission to do so.
Since you are under 18 you need to talk to mom or dad or both of them about how you are feeling. I know talking to mom and dad for a teenager is troublesome especially with issues such as this. To me as someone old enough to be a grandparent what you are writing about is no different than if you had hurt yourself in some manner and needed to see a doctor.
The fact is that right now you are hurting. Our jobs as parent, our primary jobs as parent is our children's well being. To do the best we are able to remove what hurts. To do this you have to tell us when you hurt even if it is the type of hurt that we cannot put a bandaid on.
Now don't sit there and say your parents can't afford to take you to a therapist. Next to not telling us when you are hurt; second guessing what we are cable of doing or not doing is the worst thing you can do. From the day you and any siblings you may have were born you and they come before anything else.
If you really need something, I mean really need or want something; we find the resources to make it happen. We go without before you do. We refuse things you want that you say or think you must have. We will never say no to things you actually need such as medical help.
So tell your parents what is going on with you and what you are thinking just as you have told us. Then ask for help.
How do Make myself come?
Are you male or female? Knowing this may get you some answers
I'm a bit confused.
When you go to countries like China you always have to get certain vaccinations because they have diseases over there that we don't have in the US.
But how come you can easily bring things back with you and give gifts from other countries to people who have not been vaccinated? Won't that put them at risk of catching something?
Why is it that it's not dangerous to order gifts from other countries to the US but we have to get vaccines to go there?
Plus, so many things over here are made in China or other countries...
To simplify a somewhat complex answers; most germs need a living host to survive moving from one place to another. Germs do not survive long living outside a living host as they generally need the warm environment of the host. By getting vaccinated prior to travel we build up immunities to these germs and if infected while traveling our bodies kill off the infection generally without our noticing it.
Fruits and vegetables are another host for germs. We will not import food supplies from certain countries because there fruits and vegetables are not raised in a manner to keep certain germs from getting into the food. The same is true with certain meat, chicken and other poultry products produced in some countries because of how the animals are raised and diseases in those countries.
I don’t know if you remember the SARSA virus of a few years ago which caused a mini-pandemic. This was a new virus and we don’t have vaccinations against viruses. The body grows their own. The only way anyone had to control the outbreak was to control exposure. Some countries actually quarantined people coming into their country that had symptoms of the virus. Today SARS is still a problem but not what is was for those who travel extensively have built up an immunity to it.
I married by faith an now have a child of 11 months.My husband and me both of us are member of a ministry of Teaching Gospel 1:1. before my marriage I somehow knew that he had some debt but i had to marry him as I received revelation from God that he is the man for me. Personally i did not like him and prayed god plz change your will.But ultimately I surrendered to him and married that person. Now everyday my life is under pressure of moneylenders. Everyday I start with a heavy heart and spend maximum time in prayer. Everyday I pray that God I may see my husband safe when he comes back from office.With believe that God will open the way for us I am praying and waiting. But its almost 1 Year under pressure everyday...........I am now tired and do not know what to do. PLZ.........if anyone can guide me.......Thanks
For the most part I agree with Zane.
I don't think god made you marry a man you didn't like. If god put you with this man it was because god felt you were a stronger person than him and could help him be a better person and get out of debt.
In a manner of speaking I feel the same way. There are a number of debt consolidators who can help you. There are also a number of frauds out there who say they can help you but can't and will only make things worse. I believe you have to be the strong one here and take this problem on and see to it that it is corrected.
I would start by going to speak with your minister or parish priest. He may know of someone within the congregation who is trustworthy who can help consolidate or liquidate this debt. Whichever is in your best interest.
Once you speak with this person and they make a manageable solution for you, follow the plan to the letter. These plans work but only if they are followed. Your husband has to learn to control his spending which means you may have to take over the finances and put him on an allowance.
My in-laws were church going people. My mother in-law handled the finances. On Friday my father in-law would hand over his pay envelope to mom and she would give him his money for the week. Then a small amount went into the cookie jar for incidentals and the rest along with her check went into the bank to pay bills. There is no reason in a marriage of faith why you cannot not handle the finances since it appears your husband may not be able to control his spending.
IT may take several years to retire the debt. Once you do if you continue to follow the budget plan that was worked out for you and bank the payment you were sending to the payment center. You will very quickly be in a very positive position financially.
I have a few spots from hormones most likely because i get very stressed out because of school and stuff like that which is normal i guess. So I have a few very small spots which I don't really mind but then I got a few really large spots and i tried o squeeze them whic i know i shouldn do but they turned into these scars that look like blemishes or scabs. Usually they heal in about a week. But I did some research and i learned that if you eat vitamin c it will speed up the healing of scars. I did research of how much vitamin c an average person needs and it is and it is about 75 mg for a woman and for a child it is slightly less. For lunch i eat a salad and an orange in school this is equivalent to 75 mg. so I eat slightly more than i need. I was wondering how long will it take for the blemishes to heal of i have this amount of vitamin c in my diet. There is also small amounts of vitamin e in my lunch. Im not sure how much. Sorry if this is a lot to read. Thanks
Let me add to what kittenlover2000 wrote.
Back in the dark ages when I was a teenager. That was about the time Washington was crossing the Delaware. (Yea I'm old enough to be your grandfather)The stress and problems it is causing such as what you wrote along with being moody and ill tempered. Was considered a phase children went through as they became teenagers. Parents felt is was something they had to live with and that the child would grow out of. They were about half right.
We have learned since then or I should say the doctors have learned. That puberty in an of itself causes a certain amount of stress. Then there is other stressors that is added on some of which is caused by puberty, some self imposed; some unwittingly imposed by parents and teachers and some imposed by social standards.
Doctors know that stress causes depression. Depression cause pain both physical and mental pain. The body does not react well to pain of either type and one of the problems pain causes is healing takes longer.
The type of depression a teenager suffers from now has a name called teenage depression. Most teenage depression which is a form of clinical depression if left untreated will pass as the teenager passes through puberty and matures. As they mature the different stressors in their lives get less and they learn to handle them better.
Now the question becomes why suffer when doctors can easily treat this problem and the teenager can live a better life. Diagnosing the problem is simple and painless. The doctor will ask a number of questions. Based on the answers a diagnoses can be made and treatment rendered.
I suggest you go see your family doctor. This is the best time to make an appointment for if you have not already had your preschool year physical you are going to need to have one soon anyway. Tell the doctor how you feel and about the stress you feel your under.
A simple pill taken once a day for a year or so will make you feel so much better and you do better in school too.
Depression gets a bad rap as everyone feels it is a mental illness. It is actually a physical illness. Clinical depression is very much like diabetes in that the body is not making enough of one or both of the hormones that help us deal with mods and stress. Since these hormones secrete into the brain an psychiatrists are felt to be the best medical doctors to treat this condition. People think anyone that suffers from clinical depression is mentally ill. They are not.
On the 1st (yes in two days) I'm moving into a place with my boyfriend. I was really excited until the past couple days. I feel like maybe this isn't the right move. My problem is he's always working and when he's not working I'm usually working. It's really starting to get to me and I'm worried about money.
He has two jobs working about 50-70 hours a week and I work one job at two places and work 36-40 hours a week but I make more than him an hour.
Together we make around $3,400 a month, 43,000 a year.
Finance wise (monthly), Rent is $758, renters insurance $20 Electric around $300, High Speed Internet will be around $70, Groceries around $200, we don't want cable TV since we have Netflix through a family account,
My car payments are $316, his car insurance is $130 mine is $160. Both of our cellphone bills together are $90. Gas is about $150 for both cars (I have a hybrid). I know there are other bills that I can't think of right now but with what I've already taken out above that still leaves $1,006 a month free.
This first month is $1,003 and already I'm paying more than my fair share. I'm paying $600 worth of rent, $50 down on electric, $20 on renters insurance and $160 for application fees. What has he paid so far? Nothing. He says he's going to pay $400 of the rent but that's not half of the $1,003 like we agreed when we started. Now I'm worried for myself because on the 12th I have to pay $160 car insurance and on the 25th I pay $316 car payment and I'm sure there's going to be more electric due sometime this month and other things we need to buy. I plan on selling some stuff tomorrow at an antique mall to get maybe $150 extra and I already sold a phone that I loved for $200. He hasn't sold anything at all and I feel like I'm doing all of the work. Yet he's the one who's working 60 hours a week while I only work around 36 a week. That doesn't add up to me and it's really frustrating that he's always working especially when he's saying he works so much so we have more money...
When I told him how I felt about him not paying his fair amount he said "We won't have to worry about money baby we'll be fine" and then I told him that I absolutely refuse to pay anything more than my fair half in the future and that it was his apartment too and he said "but it's not like that and you know it..." as in that I should know he's going to start pulling his weight soon but how do I know that when I pay for everything?
Since you're asking I would say since you are having second thoughts it is time to put the brakes on this move. I remember the first letter you wrote to us. While you did a wonderful job at budgeting you left out quite a few items.
Two part time jobs for both of you tells me neither job is supplying health insurance. Beginning January 1, 2014 the Obama healthcare plan kicks in. You will need to purchase health insurance for each of you or pay a $2,000 penalty that's is the law of the land and enforced through the state and IRS. You have not budgeted for this.
Your estimate for groceries is woefully low. You cannot eat for $200 a month. This sum could not possibly include the other items you would need around the house such as cleaning supplies, toilet paper, beauty and shaving products etcetera.
A combined income of $43,000 a year should be a somewhat comfortable income for two people. Problem is you both have other expenses that are quite high. Your rent payment is quite good, better than where I live. Your estimate for electric seems very high for a one bedroom apartment. That's a third higher than mine and I have a three bedroom home.
Now the kicker as I see it. Your boyfriend is not kicking in his fair share from the start. This is a I believe is a sign of things to come. Sure you can tell your creditors that your boyfriend is not holding up his end of the bargain. They, in the person(s) you speak with may even feel sorry for you, but, you are on the hook for whatever contracts you have signed and must meet your obligations. Failure to do so means they can repossess, evict and turn off their service or product if you fail to meet your obligations. This means you can lose apartment and or your car or have the utilities turned off depending on what bills you fall behind on.
If any of this were to happen it would become a major blemish on your credit rating. One that could take as long as seven years or longer to live down and restore your credit rating.
My advice is to back out now while you still can. Not merely because I think your budgeting is wrong. Budgets are just guidelines and when you see actual expenses you adjust. I make my suggestion based on the fact that your boyfriend is not holding to your agreement and you have yet to move in together. If he can't or won't meet his obligations to you now what is going to happen next month or the month after. You could get caught holding the bag.
how can I stop the pain
You may be suffering from what doctors call dry eye syndrome. There are a number of different causes for this syndrome which range from staring at computer screens to Hay Fever and other airborne allergies.
There are over the counter solutions you can get in the form of eye drops which may or may not help. The best thing to do is to see an Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist as you may need an antibiotic eye drop.
Since you have not given your age if you are under 18 then you need to inform mom or dad of this problem and let them arrange for your to see the doctor.
When it comes to these types of problem you mom or dad, if you are a minor, are your best resource for this type help. We are all individuals and while we may have the same type symptom. It does not mean we have the same type of illness or the same solution will work for you that works for us.
Your parents and you family doctor are the people who know you best. They are the one you need to rely on for answers to these types of problems.
As a parent and a grandparent I will tell you something else. Never count the money in your parents pocket. Meaning don't believe you know what they can and cannot afford. As a parent our most important job is the safety and well being of our children. If you need to see a doctor then we find the money.
Your eyes are also considered a life a limb problem. Meaning you need your eyes to exist in this world. This means if need be you could be taken to any hospital emergency room and they would treat you and worry about payment later.
IF you are a minor there are many social programs the hospital can bill for treatment. They cannot turn you away when the problem is considered life and limb
Okay so Im 13 and I once dated this 17 year old. He found out I cut and now we got in a really big fight and hes planning to tell everyone :( him ans his friend are really smart and qould do anything to get back at me pls help me
First there are three things wrong here.
First: Is your cutting which we will address in a bit.
Second: Is the fact that you are dating someone 4 years older than you. It is illegal for him to be dating someone that much younger than him. It is and he can be charged with statutory rape since you are under the age of consent. We will address this further as well.
Third: He is being immature to announce to the world that you cut. Using this information as a revenge tool is totally immature of him when the proper thing to do is to help you stop cutting. If he respected and loved you that is what he should have done. Instead he sees you as someone immature to dating, someone he can easily contrive to have his way with sexually.
By dating so much below his age group he does so because he is unable to connect socially and sexually within his age group. He is psychologically a sexual predator in the making.
If your ages were 23 and 27 this would be an entirely different story as you would both be adults and a 4 year difference in age is not all that much. You're not 23 and 27 your 13 and 17 and the age difference is huge from the standpoint of social maturity and personal maturity. You should look to date within your own age group, so should he.
Now as to cutting. This is a very dangerous practice. I understand your reasons for doing so and you need professional help to stop before you cut too deep and hit an artery.
Please don't read this and say it won't happen. As a retired firefighter I have responded to 911 calls where young people who have cut and have hit an artery. It is a race against time for us to get to them before they bleed out, which is what can happen if you hit an artery.
Am I trying to scare you? That is both a yes and no answer. I want you to get some help.
Until then let me offer a suggestion that replaces cutting with a safer alternative. Find a rubber band and let it hang loose around your wrist. When you have the urge to cut snap the rubber band against your wrist until the urge passes. The feeling you get from the rubber band will be like the cutting. Best part is you do not have to run off and hide to do this. You can do it right in class if you need to.
You cut because you are feeling depressed and may even be suffering from a form of depression. I'm not a doctor but I would guess this started about the time puberty started. If so you would be suffering from what doctors call teenage depression. Something doctors can help you with.
Depression of this type is brought on by stress. Stress cause pain and pain causes depression. This is called the cycle of depression. You should talk to your parents about what is happening and show them the scars of your cutting. If for some reason you feel you can't then talk to a trusted teacher, your school principal or another trusted adult.
There is no need to suffer the pain of depression and to deal with it as you are. There is help, all you need to do is ask for it.
As for you boy friend telling everyone. Just tell him what I wrote in the second of the three things I wrote in the first part of this note. Tell him if he opens his mouth to the world you and your parents will report him to the police and he will be arrested. He won't believe you. He will say there is nothing illegal with him dating you. It will be an act. Stand your ground and walk away. Unless I miss my bet he will keep his mouth shut and you will not hear from him again.
Please get help for your cutting and until you do try mys suggestion with the rubber band.
Firstly is xasten for gaining weight and I urinate often at mid nite
Xasten is one of the many names of Dexamethasone which is a potent synthetic member of the glucocorticoid class of steroid drugs. It acts as an anti-inflammatory and immunosuppressant.
Some Steroid drugs have been known to cause weight gain. The most common side effects are listed below. Frequent urination may be linked to some steroids check with your doctor or pharmacists for this particular drug.
•Gynecomastia
•Increased Blood Pressure
•Bloating
•Decrease in HDL Cholesterol (Good Cholesterol)
•Increase in LDL Cholesterol (Bad Cholesterol)
•Acne
•Hair Loss
Hope this helps
im wondering if I could get pregnant because im a virgin but when he tried to put it in I pulled on the condom could it be a possibility that the condom broke and at that time he had a strong erection
Quick answer yes; but certain other things need to have happened.
1. You would know if the condom broke or tore it is usually quite obvious.
2. Sperm must be present. Meaning your boy friend had to ejaculate or he had what is called precum present on his penis. Both the ejaculate and the precum contain sperm. Sperm is what causes pregnancy.
3. Did he actually get his penis inside you, all of him or just the head. If so you are no longer a virgin. Did the condom break inside you or outside you. if it did indeed break and did so inside you then there is the possibility you could get pregnant.
4. If this happened within the last 48 to 72 hours go to the pharmacy and get the plan B pill if you are 16 years old or older you do not need a prescription or parental permission. The plan B pill is most effective at this time but can be taken up to a week after intercourse and has been known to be effective.
You and your boyfriend need to learn more about sex before attempting intercourse again. A condom when properly worn is 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. Once rolled onto his penis there is no reason for you to pull on it. As long as he is erect and wearing one that fits correctly it will stay on him.
While you're searching the web look at a federal law called HIPPA. There is a section in that law for young people 14 and older covering medical privacy concerning their reproductive system. Under this provision you can ask your doctor for birth control without parental permission. If you're going to have sex and you're not yet an adult you will need to know about this law to ask for birth control so you can be protected.
Last but not least. Based on your question your knowledge of sex is very weak. This tells me you may be quite young, too young to be having sex. Many a young boy tells their girlfriend if you love me you will have sex with me. If this is the reason you are trying to have sex with your boyfriends it is for the wrong reason. Young boys confuse love and lust. He does not love you as you may love him. He lusts for you and that is not a reason to be having sex with him.