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my sister moved back in
well let's see here it goes i am 21 years old female my sister is 30 years old and she moved in on Thursday mom made a special trip to Florida to get her after she beat up my mom and beat me up and she only wants to live with us when she has know where else to and when she doesn't have a girl friend that she can move in with yes I said girlfriend she is gay . she has a 10 year old son and a 12 year old daughter that my mom have custody of because she had her kids walking in a drug infested neighborhood at night with no shoes no jacket and we were not allowed to see them . she has showed her 12 year old daughter sex toys in the past while she has stayed with us. I think that she is on drugs she doesn't care about anybody but herself . my other sister who lives in Texas can't stand her either. I am scared of because she hits me cusses me and i have told mom before that i am scared of her and I don't have the money to get my own place so I can't move out . her girlfriends always come first before her sister her mom and her kids . she gave me a bloody nose one day and hurt me so bad I had to go to the emergency room that was about 2 years ago when that happened and she is already bossing me around she hasn't changed at all . what should I do .
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Well, first of all, she is a disgrace! You never put ANYONE, other than family members, first in your life! Your mother gave birth to you, so she should be number 1.
You sister seem to want everything her way and she seems like the kind of person who lose her temper easily. It takes courage to stand up to anyone who bullies or treat you like shit. But hey, if you're tired of it, then you mist take a stand. I don't know who she think she is to be acting like she's the boss, when she's not, but someone needs to put her ass in check!
You see, I'm the kind of person that don't take anyone's bullshit, I stand up for myself because I don't tolerate people treating me like shit. So, if I were in your position, I'd have a talk with her and make sure EVERY single damn word gets through her head, but with people like her, you need to stand your ground. Don't let her know that you're scared. Be confident!
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First off, I'm very sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how tough that Is for you and the rest of your family.
This is a sort of delicate & touch situation, and it must be tough on your mom since she is the mother of your sister as well and like any other parent, the love for your children is endless. Your mom was willing to take her back in.
As for you, you should frankly voice your feelings to your mom and to your sister who lives in Texas. Ask her if you can move in with her until you can get on your two feet and build a life of your own so that you can move in into your own place.
If for some reason your sister isn't down with that idea, then tell your mother that if your sister lays one finger on you, that you have all the right to call the cops on her. If your sister is dis respecting your mother, the kids, you or the house then tell your mother that although that is her daughter, she NEEDS to do something about her daughters behavior.Someone needs to give your sister some sort of reality check for starters and show her that she cannot just do what she pleases.
You are a grown woman so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If there is the need to call the cops then do so.
I'm sorry that I don't know how else to effectively go about your situation since it can be very hard to deal with other people, specially ones who act up in such a wild and malicious behavior.
Also, try looking for a room ate or two and if you have a job then you can move into you guys' own place.
Best wishes. Take care
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A mom will always love her kids even though she doesn't love the way they are living and choices they are making. THats probably why she's agreed to let her move in, no matter how she's treated you in the past. Its not just you and mom to worry about, but your underage niece and nephew who are relying on your mom to keep them safe. While your sis may not hit her own kids...I am more concerned with the damage of emotional stress, the yelling fighting, what changes she goes under when on drugs, she beating you guys up. The kids don't need to be witnessing that. Its unhealthy emotionally. They being underage have no say for themselves. Why not try to bring this point up to mom. See if she will agree with you that family or not, for the sake of at least the kids, if she doesnt care about what daughter might physically do to her, she needs to be tough and warn your sis that at the first abusive she shows towards anyone physical and including verbal abuse, and taking street drugs while living there, that she will be asked to leave immediately and if she doesnt, the cops will be called to come get her. Mom can have her removed for many reasons, since it is her house. You can only call cops for assault and battery as has been mentioned.
About the only other thing I can think of if mom doesnt care and sis wont leave, is for you to ask sis in Texas for help in relocating to where she is and staying with her til you get on your feet. You probably can't afford a place of your own so you need to have enough income to pay your half or go in 3rds with a few friends on an apt...getting your own place. I see no other options dear. Sorry to hear about this. Its so tough when family is going down the wrong path.
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It sounds like your mother is a good women allowing your sister to come back and live with her and taking custody of your sisters children. From what you have written it may be your mother is fighting a losing battle with your sister.
You and your sister are both adults. If she hits you then she is guilty of battery. I know you may not want to call the police and charge her with battery but this is what you may have to do. For then you can take out a stay away order on her. Meaning she cannot live with you because she cannot be that close to you by order of the court.
Many states have what is called a Domestic assault law. Meaning anyone who habitats together and assaults one another; the aggressor is guilty of domestic violence. Under this law it matters not if charges are pressed. The police are required by law to separate them, it could be family members such as you and your sister, by taking the one they believe is the aggressor to jail. Usually it is just for the remainder of the night.
In the morning the other party can go to district court and get an order against the aggressor to stay a distance away. This is then served by the police or the Sheriff on the other party and they are removed from the home.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. Being gay is not something your sister has not chosen to be even if it appears that way to you. She was born this way and though she may have tried to live as a heterosexual it was not her true sexual identity.
Using drugs, if she is a drug user, is something she has chose to do. You cannot force her to stop using, she has to want to stop. Unfortunately to do so she has to hit bottom and everyone's bottom is different.
My brother in-law is a recovery alcoholic for over 25 years now. When I first met him we spoke about addictions and recovery. He is the one who told me about hitting bottom before accepting help. His bottom was waking up in the drunk tank. Since then he has become very active in Alcohol Anonymous and other preventive programs mainly aimed at teenage drinking.
You do not need to be a punching bag for your sister. You do not need to live in fear in your own home. If your sister assaults you again, call the police. Charge her with assault if there is not a domestic battery law in your state. Take out a stay away order against her. Doing so just may be the best thing you can do for your sister for being homeless just may be her bottom and she may ask for and get the help she needs if she is doing drugs.
If she is just plain irresponsible then this will be a wake up call for her as well. She needs to be an adult and not to depend on mommy every time her life goes in the toilet.
What you tell your mother is that by picking up the pieces when your sister is close to being down and nowhere else to turn that she is enabling your sisters. This is keeping her from learning how to be responsible for herself and if need be to get off drugs and become the responsible person she needs to be.
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