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Dont know what to think
An old friend of mine whom I have known for 13 years fell out with me 3 years ago. My ex friend has been dating a very manipulative guy for the past 8 years and since, I have seen her loose her friends over the years.
Well, Too keep this short, I haven't seen or spoken to her in 3 years.
In the past month or two another old friend of mine found where I live (I live in the next building over from my ex friend ) We all used to be friends in high school back 10 years ago. I noticed since I got back in contact with this old friend, My ex friend has been seemingly nice all of the sudden.
The other day I was walking and she waved from a distance, I stood there for a few seconds dumb founded and walk away. I couldn't bring myself to wave as even 3 years later I just have a lot of hard feelings and anger towars her. She basically allowed her boyfriend to turn her against all her friends and has in the past given me the cold shoulder quite a few times. I admit, I am one to hold a grudge and if you screw me I never forgive. Why all the sudden ia ahe being "nice? She doesn't know I am in contact with this old friend. (I stopped talking to her also because i didn't want drama) I noticed she doea it when she's alone too.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You said she got involved with a manipulative guy, was that when you guys fell out?
If so, you'll see that kind of thing happen when they fall in love with the wrong guy who demands from them and they'd do anything to please him.
As for her being nice, like you said, you hold grudges. Most people can move on.
I've had a friend screw me over, I ended up forgiving him but I didn't want him as a friend. I would smile, wave, ect. It'd be one of those friendly but not friends type of thing.
She's probably just gotten over it and isn't holding onto it like you have. She's probably gone back to being more normal than before.
I'm assuming you don't want to be her friend, but it's not a bad thing to act nice even if you have no interest in being their friend again. It's more of the mature thing to do.
But anyways, that would be my best guess as to why she waved.
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Not to be rude to you dear, but you did say that you are one to NEVER forgive, so if you don't intend to do that, I just wonder why it matters why she's suddenly acting nice and friendly.
Females who choose to be in relationship with an abusive, manipulative guy often stay forever in such a relationship...but there are others, like myself who eventually wake up and decide to leave and thats when they are going to need a network of supportive friends because its hard to get away, both emotionally, financially. It is best to consider "keeping the doors open" to such people if that is why they are reaching out to you. Other than that, I haven't any advice for you.
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It's been three years. She's being 'nice' because most people can't effectively hold grudges for three years, and will relapse back into a normal degree of human civility and decency.
If this woman's crime is that she remained with a manipulative boyfriend that encouraged her to isolate herself from old friends and has given you the cold shoulder, it's a bit petty of you not to even be able to wave back.
Waving to an old acquaintance isn't even being 'nice'. It's being human. I wave to people around my apartment complex who I don't even like much, as a casual greeting and acknowledgement that I know them.
She waved at you. She didn't ask you to be her maid of honour. It's extremely unlikely that she is thinking about this half so much as you are. So wave back in the future and acknowledge she exists. Expressing such a poorness of spirit three years later is what will invite drama into your life - offering a small sign of recognition of a fellow human being wont.
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The old saying "forgive and forget" seems to be appropriate for what you have written.
From what you have written all I can say is it would not hurt you to say hello. Ask her how she has been and to see if she is wanting to reestablish the friendship you two once had. This cost you nothing but a few minutes time. To hold a grudge for this long is a waste of energy. Life is to short to put walls up between you and others especially in this instance as you say it was her boyfriends doing. Love has strange effects on people and she may have not been aware it was she and not you.
There is also the chance that she may no longer be with this guy or that she is wanting to leave him but needs some type of support network to do so. This is where old friends come in. Spend the time to see what here intentions are. Then decide if there is any purpose or opportunity to reestablishing a friendship with her.
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