Okay so Im 13 and I once dated this 17 year old. He found out I cut and now we got in a really big fight and hes planning to tell everyone :( him ans his friend are really smart and qould do anything to get back at me pls help me
First: Is your cutting which we will address in a bit.
Second: Is the fact that you are dating someone 4 years older than you. It is illegal for him to be dating someone that much younger than him. It is and he can be charged with statutory rape since you are under the age of consent. We will address this further as well.
Third: He is being immature to announce to the world that you cut. Using this information as a revenge tool is totally immature of him when the proper thing to do is to help you stop cutting. If he respected and loved you that is what he should have done. Instead he sees you as someone immature to dating, someone he can easily contrive to have his way with sexually.
By dating so much below his age group he does so because he is unable to connect socially and sexually within his age group. He is psychologically a sexual predator in the making.
If your ages were 23 and 27 this would be an entirely different story as you would both be adults and a 4 year difference in age is not all that much. You're not 23 and 27 your 13 and 17 and the age difference is huge from the standpoint of social maturity and personal maturity. You should look to date within your own age group, so should he.
Now as to cutting. This is a very dangerous practice. I understand your reasons for doing so and you need professional help to stop before you cut too deep and hit an artery.
Please don't read this and say it won't happen. As a retired firefighter I have responded to 911 calls where young people who have cut and have hit an artery. It is a race against time for us to get to them before they bleed out, which is what can happen if you hit an artery.
Am I trying to scare you? That is both a yes and no answer. I want you to get some help.
Until then let me offer a suggestion that replaces cutting with a safer alternative. Find a rubber band and let it hang loose around your wrist. When you have the urge to cut snap the rubber band against your wrist until the urge passes. The feeling you get from the rubber band will be like the cutting. Best part is you do not have to run off and hide to do this. You can do it right in class if you need to.
You cut because you are feeling depressed and may even be suffering from a form of depression. I'm not a doctor but I would guess this started about the time puberty started. If so you would be suffering from what doctors call teenage depression. Something doctors can help you with.
Depression of this type is brought on by stress. Stress cause pain and pain causes depression. This is called the cycle of depression. You should talk to your parents about what is happening and show them the scars of your cutting. If for some reason you feel you can't then talk to a trusted teacher, your school principal or another trusted adult.
There is no need to suffer the pain of depression and to deal with it as you are. There is help, all you need to do is ask for it.
As for you boy friend telling everyone. Just tell him what I wrote in the second of the three things I wrote in the first part of this note. Tell him if he opens his mouth to the world you and your parents will report him to the police and he will be arrested. He won't believe you. He will say there is nothing illegal with him dating you. It will be an act. Stand your ground and walk away. Unless I miss my bet he will keep his mouth shut and you will not hear from him again.
lightoftruth answered Thursday August 29 2013, 7:44 pm: Ok, he's being completely immature and is a jerk. He and his friends are not smart, they are stupid.
You can't stop him though. But I suggest you never talk to him again. I don't know why you'd want to keep in contact with a guy who would threaten to do something like that.
He's 17 years old and is acting like a child. Ignore him and his friends.
I'm also going to ask you to get some help with cutting. Lots of girls do it, it's not a surprise even if it should be. But it can cause a lot of problems. You should talk to your parents or to a counselor. They'll get you the help you need and a better way to learn how to deal with your problems. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
Xui answered Thursday August 29 2013, 2:49 pm: He's immature and wants attention
No offense to you but you shouldn't be dating someone that is 17 years old.
It drama, Just ignore it. Think about it, He is going around telling everyone you cut. Immature isn't it? So at the end of the day who is the fool? He is.
You didn't do anything, The only person that looks like the ass is usually the one who starts it. Be mature, Ignore it and stay away from the jerk. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
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