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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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22/f

So I've been stressing a lot lately.
Sometimes I struggle to sleep because I am stressing out about what's going on. I'm late I normally get my period on the 2nd but it didn't come. We have both protected and unprotected sex but he didn't cum in me. We took a pregnancy test and it came out negative. What could be wrong?

Stress makes it late. Recent sickness, even a cold, or hayfever which acts somewhat like a cold and is a stress on the body. Recent new job, new living places, anything new to your life is also affecting you like a stress even if you dont feel worried or stressed. If you continue to have irregular periods, you may need to see your doctor for medication to help make you regular monthly

i'm into making soup, i need some expert advice, is it wise to season exuberant soup with kale? Or should i use spinach? I know its a tough question but i'm a big foodie so i'm in desperate need of an answer
Best wishes, yours truly
Jan ;]

I have never heard of soup described as exuberant so not quite sure what you're aiming for. But i have made soup from scratch to help stretch the food budget before. I used what ever vegetables I had on hand, often being what I got in raw veggies at a food bank. YOu can used canned but then unless you use the water too, you wont get the natural vitamins from the veggies that the cooking process releases in to the water. Use kale or spinach. Something like that would be added at a later stage than say, carrots, parsnips, potato, turnips or some non leafy veggies. Just use your imagination and if you like a combo you did one night, remember to use the same ingrediants together next time. I have even used something like black beans rinsed of the thick liquid in a can, and added corn and also corn chowder, fresh cut up tomato, and some salsa and rice and maybe cabbage to make a southwestern style veggie soup. The only thing that can limit you is your imagination.

I met a girl online the end of last month. We met on okcupid.com, we chatted all night long about ourselves but mainly about our sex life and then we ending up flirting that turn into sexting. At first I thought she was playing me so I didnt give that much effort of wanting to get to know her until she message me the next day at 8am. And then message me again the day after. We spoke for at least week no sexting just small talk.
One day I message her on facebook she read it but no reply. The next day I saw her on okcupid. I sent her "How are you?" She read it but no replied back. I then assumed that she was probably playing me so I ignored her.

Two days later I message her about the first night we spoke questioning her what was the sexting and that I don't sexted anyone unless I am not interested.
She replied back apologizing and told me that she loves our conversations and flirting. she wants to continue getting to know me. She been too busy with work.
I thanked her for her honesty and told her she is welcome to message me anytime.
5 days later she hasn't been online so I message her "Hi" on facebook and she replied back with a huge message telling me she is out of town visiting family and been trying to get that much time off from work. She ended the message with "Kisses my sexy friend".

I know I shouldnt expect much for online dating but I just feel like she is being honest with me then again I am having doubts.

This sounds so familiar. Wondering if you've written in before about this scenerio. Yes you can expect alot from on line dating...its how I found my 2nd husband. I made sure to advertise only for areas in reasonable driving distance. I used the computer only as a tool to come to know of the existance of a person. Once I talked once or twice, and liked what I got from the little conversation, I pushed to meet in person, take it out of the internet and into reality. If someone is just playing with you, they won't want to meet in person. So send a message asking her. Set a time and a coffee shop in a 2nd message if she doesnt answer your 1st. Then tell her you will be expecting her either show up or let you know if she can't make it. No response and you will stop pursuing her. If she cancels too many in person dates, you will also drop her. Busy is not an excuse here. Not when it comes to finding a partner and possibly love. If a person is really interested in someone, even a busy person will make a potential partner one of their top 3 priorities. Actually, women can tend to make a man their own priority. So no contact, no in person interest on her part. There is nothing else I can tell you. Hopefully shes not the only one whos written you. All else you can do is to spend your time looking at more profiles, and doing searches by interests in common. And writing to other women at the same time. Then if she piddles her time away not contacting you and you find some just as great or better, then, its her loss, your gain.

An aside for you, most women are turned off by men whose major amount of talk is sex the first time around. It is really very rare. So for her to instigate could mean a whole myriad of things, and lots of it my imagination is drumming up is not so good for a healthy relationship. It is very unlikely for a woman to push for sex talk the first time and WANT to send naked pics of herself. Not good...i'd take that as a warning sign unless yu can meet immediately to find out she is not like that. Woman who get paid for online cam sex or in real sex, do use the dating sites on occasion to meet men and reel them in. Think about it, a man is either single and does not get regular sex so it might be easy to convince him to pay for her services.
A married man not happy with wife is out looking for a lady on the side for same reason and is just as easy picking for such a girl. Meet her asap or give up on her!!

to a troubled spirit? I have experiences of a spirit who's killed themselves. What meditation do I do to help this spirit? Please be detailed.

If I have no experience with doing that, I would of course have no details to give you. You can ask forever but you aren't likely to find a psychic on here with experience in helping souls cross over who can teach you how. I suggest looking in the yellow pags or on line for those who do such things and ask if they also will train younger people with some psychic abilities.

Hello! For those of you that have answered my other question about me leaving a note on my crush's car with my number on it, I would just like to say that it worked! He went away on a business trip this past week and had returned late last night so he called me today. I was away at a music festival this weekend and I didn't recognize his number when he called so I sent it to voicemail. He left me a cute voicemail apologizing that it took him so long to call because he was away for work and that if I called him back, that would be really cool. He's always so shy around me in person, but tonight it was like he was a new person, he was speaking well and at a tone where I could hear him (maybe because we weren't face to face). But when I found out it was him that had called, I called him back but I think I left him the weirdest voicemail ever. I know I'm reading too much into it but I only left him a less that ten second voicemail and I feel like I sounded all giggly and awkward and shy, even though it was over the phone I was still nervous. I said and I quote "Hey ____, it's _____. *awkward pause* I guess we can just talk tomorrow if you're working. *awkward chuckle* It was really nice to have you call."

He and my brother are pretty good friends and everyone is saying that him being a guy, he probably won't pick up on the giggling or even the awkwardness since he probably felt the same awkwardness. But I'm nervous that he'll think I'm weird now or something. AND, in regards to my title above, I'm kind of mad at myself for saying that I guess we could just talk to work tomorrow. Because now I'm thinking what if he doesn't work or what if I don't see him and we don't talk? How long should I wait (or he) before maybe shooting out a text like "hey haven't seen you around to talk, we should hang out" or whatever?

I am just so afraid that my awkwardness is going to ruin this. I've liked him since high school and now to find out that he's into me to....it sends my heart racing just thinking about it. But with him not being so nervous on his voicemail and me botching mine up, I don't know what to do. I'm still nervous and I feel like he isn't. Just any help is appreciated. If you'd think my voicemail would come off weird, how long I should wait if I don't see him, that kind of thing.

Thanks!
I'm 20/f.
He's 22.

You're overthinking it girl. If a guy doesn't like how you giggle or sound when you laugh or other things that are part of your personality, then he's the wrong guy for you. I am in my 50s and I still giggle all the time and laugh often too, I am a very genererally happy person, full of life and enjoying even the simple things, able to laugh at myself and thats a part of who I am.
when you said, talk at work, that gives you the green light to go ahead and talk to him first cus of the fact he called which means he's interested in you. So there are no rules as to who says what first, and in what order. You're making those up in your head because of the fact he is so important to you. relax....chill....take a deep breath and start talking. Just because he called you doesnt mean he won't be also more shy in person to start convo. So you start, don't wait.

So when I was younger I used to watch this show that I forgot the name of. It was about two penguins (or alien things that look similar to penguins) and they lived on a space ship together. Pretty sure neither spoke, but there was a narrator who told their thoughts and spoke to them etc. Anyways, they go around the universe saving other planets and things, usually not from enemies, but helping them solve problems.

For example I'm pretty sure I remember one episode was a planet full of instruments and they had to help them play in beat with the metronome and they saved the day and they'd get back on the ship to sleep and the narrator would say something like "night nigh *its names*" then the show would end. Also I believe the narrator is a british woman with a gentle and kind voice.

Please help, this show was the bomb and I'm 16 now but I still want to watch it so, please please please help me find it.

the only one I know of is called 3-2-1 Penguins and they travel in a spaceship. My kids watched it.
It may not be what you are looking for but here's a clip off utube.

https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?p=Christian+kids+video+penguins&ei=UTF-8&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-004

what questions should I ask a troubled spirit and what else can I say?

I advise not getting involved with one, at least not until you've had some years of experience in your abilities under the training of someone else with the same abilities and are confident and know what to say. I am hardly anywhere near that. What abilities I have are entirely different and related only to god, my angels and guides and my only knowledge of dealing with ghosts is thru reading.

I am already working and I have this boss. He texts me even though it is work time and he always greets me and teases me. I think I am starting to like him. What should I do? Does he like me? He's only doing those things to me. I am afraid. I haven't had any boyfriend since birth. Please tell me what to do.

theres nothing wrong with having a friendly boss who can be human with their employees and friendly, even teasing. But when it is focused on just one, then it is not their usual personality or character but a chosen focus on that one, and likely because they are chasing that person on a personal level. to like someone simply because they are paying attention to you isn't enough to go on to know if they even would make a good match as a couple. If you are recent to the work force and young, you'll find the guys who have issues or lots of broken relationships in the past, would rather go for a young sweet girl who doesnt know any better to be able to spot the warning signs in case he has alot of personal baggage that would hurt you in the long run. they just figure they can get away with it longer as she doesnt' know any better. Now he may be a nice guy, but unless he is the owner of the company, a lot of companies have rules against dating anyone in the office and when hiring, tend to not hire even a 2nd person who may be related in some way to an already part of the staff. He is not doing anything overt right now. But he may be pushing the boundaries of any company rules or laws if he is thinking of pursuing you to date. If he gets away with this, he may become more overt in his advances. For the reason already given to you, this is a bad idea. Also, many companies have strict policies on sexual harassment which in some cases can include what he is currently doing, especially if the girl has stated that she does not want to date within a place of employment and his special attention is unnerving to her and she wants him to stop. then if he doesnt, his neck is in the noose with his superior. Do not ever be so desperate to experience a boyfriend that you accept just any old guy who will pay you attention. Decide what qualitiues you are looking for in a guy. Have your internal or written list of criteria, (which you will revise with experiences,) and stick to that list.
Lastly, you should not be made to feel afraid, or uncomfortable by any employee or a boss. This is not the arena for finding a boyfriend in. So it might be best to say something that doesnt directily accuse him but brings his behavior to his attention. Say it like this: I don't know if you are aware of it, but I have noticed you paying more attention to me than other employees, finding time to talk and tease and text me during the day when you do not do the same with other employees. It makes me feel uncomfortable and so I am pointing this out so you would realize it and stop doing this." Either he says, sorry and backs off, or he professes to have an interest in you personally to date. then it is up to you to decide whether to heed our advice and tell him you have a personal policy to not date anyone at work, or accept and date him. If you never have any personal rules or criteria to share with a guy that you are looking for, they'll likely figure they can get away with anything. So decide what you want to do. If you don't like the choice you made, you can always change it later.

First off, let me sat that I have OCD and perhaps that's an issue here.

The situation is one that can apply to anyone but in my case, let's just say I learned/discovered the truth of a matter recently and even though it was a relief and should set me free from fear and anxiety, I still have a hard time accepting it fully. I still question and doubt even though I know it in my heart.

Why is it that this doubt and questioning persists and is there a way to just let go and accept what should be a wonderful truth?

I Don't know if you have a past of negative experiences that would cause you to not want to accept a proven positive truth, but thats what does affect a lot of people even without OCD or anxiety disorders or anything else of the like.

Humans don't like to get their hopes up in case something that looks good on all sides has that one little rotten apple at the bottom of a bushel that affects all the rest and that house of cards comes tumbling down. As for imagining worst case scenerios, this is something most people do foremost before imagining good outcomes and may be in part why we tend to not want to accept when we have something positive and good.
Life is full of hurts and there is no way to avoid these except to hide away from society and never leave home, ever. It is inevitable that we will be hurt at some point. Thing is, our subconscious mind, where all our emotions eminate from, is very concerned with your utmost well-being and want to protect you from hurt, dissapointments, sadness, fear, all that negative stuff and I suspect because of that is a part of why you may struggle accepting positive truth. It takes some serious retraining of our subconscious mind to work in tandem with our conscious mind, and not inadvertantly against it. But that isn't easy for the average person to do alone. If one went hunting for a counselor who understands the effect of ones subconscious on their wakeful time behavior, that person may be able to help, but though its common knowledge to people who've studied psychology, few, I've found, approach helping a person from that angle.

What you can do, something that helps is to pay attention to how often and how long your mind dwells on a negative thought. the moment you become aware of one, learn to stop for a sec and talk internally or aloud to yourself, essentially talking to your subconscious, and tell it, "You basically have no proof that this will have a bad outcome. Past experiences isn't proof that it will happen again, those were different situations, maybe similar but totally different. I want to learn how to develop trust in this, So kindly stop thinking negative stuff and worrying about something that may never happen.

In case you are experiencing a particular scenerio that repeatedly comes up way too often that it is noticeable, May I suggest that as a soul, it is one of the things they need to learn in life how to handle. Running away without learning ones lesson, means that the same bad scenerio will continue to crop up in life until that lesson is learned. I had one to learn. An abusive ex wasn't enough for me to learn to leave him. ...so a couple of abusive friends were tossed in along the line. After I finally left, the first boyfriend that came my way seemed nice but in no time I saw the same destructive behavior in him and was sharing a place with him. To stand up to him meant I would lose my place to live. that is scary.... but I was being tested so that I personally would know I was strong enough and cared about myself enough to not compromise for a type of security and I said I would not tolerate that. He left and I couldnt find a roommate to share cost and lost the place. However, good point to it all, I knew I was strong and ready to move on with a good man. I found that man only two months later and no longer experience any challenges of that sort in life. Sorry this is long but i had to add that in case that is whats happening with you.

Lastly, trust in our good situation takes some time to develop so dont feel bad if you dont feel it at first. Also there are some personality types and sun sign people who have a naturally suspicious nature and have to dig deeper than most might to be assured there are no rotten apples at the bottom of the barrel. I am one like that. And it is healthier to ease your mind and double check things the best you can so you can then choose to relax and enjoy. You just tend to go overboard perhaps with that and at that point need to tell yourself to relax. I do not know if you require any medication for OCD, but if needed, don't stop as you use little tricks to help you here. I wish you the best and hope you find this encouraging. But, be forewarned, it is not easy at all to retrain ones thoughts and habits. If you have a counselor, get to the point with them on what you want to work on, accepting a positive truth rather than continuing on fearing the worst will still happen and if you choose to try what i mentioned, let them know how you are doing with that and want to know what else you can try. If its a good counselor, they'll know you really want to work on this and hopefully give you more things to try because too often they take the slow route to helping someone as most are reluctant or even unwilling to do the work they need to do to improve in areas.
good luck

I've answered about 20 questions. Gotten 3 ratings and one thank you. I started doing this cause I like giving advice and helping. The problem is that we don't even know if the person who asked the question even saw your answer. The only way to know is if your answer is rated or you get a thank you. I feel like I spend a lot of time on here and I'm just giving advice to nobody. It kinda takes away the whole "helping people" if you don't even know they read your answer. Sure, its good practice to answer some questions, figure things out about myself. Just not sure if its worth the time to keep answering questions that may never find their target. Maybe I'll look for a site that tells you the person read it, at least. Feeling a little discouraged.

Most people asking for advice dont take the time to post a question they are unwilling to look for answers to. Now there have been a few who just want to yank our chain and really have no issue and make it all up, rephrasing the question multiple times, changng the scenerio slightly each time and sometimes it takes until the 3rd time before I realize someone is just playing with us.

I am on here because I am a person by nature who is nurturing and caring and like to help others and consider my life to be one of being in service to others. Not as a maid or such mind you, but just being available and willing.
Yes, many do not respond. We get some very troubled people or immature ones who dont realize it might help for them to leave a comment. Or some give a low rating to everyone who answered cus we gave the most sound logical answers, when all they wanted is someone to agree with them on the wrong thing they want to do, and we will not do that.
We aren't here to get brownie points and lots of 5's, but because we honestly want to help. Maybe some enjoy the glory of having someone write back they liked your advice.
I am not here for that. I try to put myself in the other persons shoes and on some of the stuff people ask for advice, I've been there and can truly share out of my experience. And I truly do hope some decide to follow my advice or at least someone elses. wHAT i put into words may not make as much sense to a person as the same thing said by another advice giver. We each have our own set of internal dialog and how we think and word things and theres bound to be one set of advice that will make sense to the person asking when they don't quite understand the others. It really takes all of us doing our best, so if you like giving advice, yes you are needed as much as the rest of us.
Yes, you can end up spending a lot of time answering questions, I certainly do. But to me, its worth it, if even just two people out of the hundreds end up having a better life because what I said helped. I know they have been working on making some changes in here to the site that will improve things and can't remember if your concern is one of them. You'd have to ask Dangernerd, the creator about that.

My friend has a abusive illegal husband who steal from her and is teaching her kids how to act like a illegal, how can she cope

First things is for her to get in touch with agencies that help abused women. Find them for her and suggest she contact them. She is going to need some sound counseling to make good decisions for her and her children. She may not see that what she has is a problem. So you might remind her that children who grow up seeing abuse will either be emotionally messed up in some ways for life or become abusive themselves. Wish I had someone to tell me this when my kids were little or I would have worked harder at finding a way to be free of my husband. My kids today are not abusive but each have their own sets of emotional issues. I am so sorry now. You can only present her with the info of agencies to turn to. She should be able to get help to get away from him and get on welfare, get schooling to find a good job to take care of her kids, without him. This is one of those situations like that saying, You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. YOu can suggest where she turn to if she really wants out. But she has to be willing to do the steps.

My fiance and I have been living together for 2 years, with 2 cars.
I have a 2011 Hybrid that I'm financing for $316/m and he has a 2000 GMC Jimmy that was passed down to him.

Two weeks ago his truck broke down. Since then we've poured $300 into it to figure out what's wrong with it and turns out he needs a new engine. The truck isn't even worth enough to put a new engine in and we do not have the money to buy him a new truck.

We're 20 & 23, I work part time and go to college full time and I need all the extra money I have to pay off my school loans and car. He works full time but he only makes $13/hr - minus taxes so more like $10/hr.

On top of my part-time job I occasionally do freelance web design work but this often requires me to travel to other cities (aka take my car). The money for that is good and I really need it but my fiance is now getting in the way of that.

He's adopted this mentality that he can take my car whenever he wants and leave me stranded at home. He works an hour away (so an hour there and an hour back) and goes in early and comes home late. He thinks anytime I'm not working at my part time job or in school that he can just take my car without asking. He's already ruined my chance of a freelance job that would have been 4k (MORE THAN I'VE EVER MADE) because he took my car without asking me before I woke up two days in a row that he knew I needed it to travel to the job site!

On days I work, I take him to his job first AN HOUR DRIVE and drive back home ANOTHER HOUR DRIVE and then later on I have to do the same thing all over again! So I'm putting lots of miles on my car and I'm ruining my tires which I already needed to have replaced. He doesn't care and he drives my car like a joke. He does stupid stuff like "LOOK I CAN DRIVE WITH NO HANDS!" and TEXTS while driving! I didn't care when it was his car but now we're talking about my car which I'm still paying off. If he gets in a crash I might just kill him.

I'm furious about it and I'm just about to tell him that he needs to figure out his own transportation because he's ruining my life!

I know he's my fiance but I don't ever see us getting married so obviously you can tell our relationship was already rocky and this is making me just want to leave him ASAP. I can't deal with all the stress.

What should I do? I'm so angry right now!

I'd say either he's finally shown his true colors or you have just finally recognized them.
The title question as to what to do about his broken down car,....Nothing. You are not yet married to him. In marriage, everything becomes shared property so what you own and worked hard for, he will own, unless of course you have a lawyer draw up some pre nuptial papers that he must sign to marry you that you both keep in your possession what you owned comin into the marriage and keep your finances separate. Otherwise, basically you screwed, even worse than you are now.

Obviously he does not look like good marriage material. He is very selfish, not willing to make any compromises or agreement on sharing the car and will grab for himself whatever he wants whenever he wants likely for the entire length of the marriage. This does not look like a happily ever after scenerio. Even if you weren't angry at the moment, subconsciously, you probably have been concerned for a while. He's been doing this for some time and.....you let him. The first time some boyfriend or fiancee took my car without asking, I would have said, Do that again and you'll never see me again. You did not lay down the rules. With some people if they werent thinking and just made a stupid judgement, that shapes them right up. With most people behaving like that, they really don't care, and will assume either you love them enough to be stupid and let them get away with it, or that you are a weak woman easy for him to lord it over and control. Likely that is his current impression.
I think that you didnt like this action of his before, it only became critical when it cost you a big deal in loss of revenue. Marry him and you'll be supporting him and jumping to all his wishes for the rest of your life.
By the way, the way he is treating you is not love. People are considerate and respect those they love. He may due to his circumstances always care for money more than people. Yes its hard to get ahead in the world and getting harder every day. But that is no reason to treat you as he did.
I was married to a man who loved money more than me. Only wanted me for my piddly income and I earned less than him but he felt he couldnt survive without it. He also didnt love me. He began to become verbally abusive because he was unhappy with his life and let it out on me. If i were you, I'd leave him right now or take the chance of him talking you into staying and possibly having an unhappy marriage as I did. I married at 20, when my hopes and dreams for the future was high and I thought we both loved each other. Being treated that way by a man, I guarantee if you do have any feelings for him, his actions towards you will kill them very quickly.
YOu are darned right this is stressful. I stayed 30 yrs cus of kids i was dumb enough to hang around long enough to get with him. I love my kids but I couldn't survive on my own if I left him then. During the 30 years, I can assure you that stress will have disastrous results, it either messes with your emotional health or physical health or both. For me, it was physical. I lived with constant headaches, more days than not and didn't want to take so much pain reliever so I lived with the pain. Had the occasional migraines tossed in, got all over body rashes from the stress, got stomach ulcers. In the end, I left to preserve my life as I had a premontion and warning from God....if I didn't leave within the next 4 years, that i would die from my stress by either heartattack or cancer. I left. I wanted to be around to see my daughters marry and be around for grandkids. I did find another man, who is now my husband and the total opposite of what i first had.
Now you have all the warnings and reasons for not marrrying this guy. Its up to you whether you want to settle for less or move on. I'd like to know how you finally decide.

I'm a really reserved person and it feels so hard for me to speak to other people. It's exhausting trying to make people happy and to even talk to them when their not into the conversation. If you would see me in real life I dress anything but shy because I'm comfortable with showing off my clothes and body but, obviously not in a sexual way. All of these people approach me and try to be my friend but I tend to over think on what to say or if that person will be with me on the long run. I don't know who to trust because it feels like all of these people would judge me if I open up. One of my friends even pointed out that I was introverted when he noticed I was very uncomfortable and was reserved when he told me to grab his hand. I want to make friends but also not get into problems that I don't need in my life. I'm not someone that'll tell just anyone about my feelings or personal life unless they earned trust. On the other hand, when I do open up to certain people they seem to not be able to handle it and distance themselves from me. I also don't go up to my friends, I simply wait for them to approach me and I know that that's bad because I shouldn't expect that from people but I feel like if I approach someone that they'll get annoyed or angry. I just want to be a bit more social without over thinking what I have to say or getting scared to approach people and how they'll possibly think of me. How can I do this and not be an annoying, clingy person at the same time?

fear of people and how they will respond is the key issue here. I know cus I had it too, really bad. As a kid in grade school, I wouldn't walk to the pencil sharpener and sharpen my pencil for fear of people looking at me and just the fact that their attention, their eyes would focus on me for an instant scared the crap out of me. Needless to say, thats a hard way to live day in day out. It was my last year in HS when I'd finally had enough and was desperate to change. It never occured to me to ask for counseling, I didn't know this could be handled that way. But I was so tired of being this way, I was willing to try the suggestions of anyone who would give them. I prayed and god answered.
I was given a quite simple exercise to go through at my own pace. Heres what I did. Tho it may not seem it can help, since you have problems approaching others and wait for them to approach you...i was like that too, I KNOW this can help you.
First, you must do all these things with total strangers, in a safe way ofcourse, people you come across in public that you do not know and why...because tho hard, its still easier to approach someone you already know.

Step 1: As you approach or walk by a stranger, smile at them. I was so bad I feared that a smile might cause them to want to strike up a conversation. It never happened. If it had, all I had to say was, sorry I don't have time to chat.
Do this until you are comfortable with it.
Step 2: All the same except with the smile, You say hello politely and move on. This can be someone in an elevator, walking on the street, the clerk at check out in the store.
Step 3: Do the smile, hello and pay them a compliment. No...it actually isnt very odd at all for a stranger to compliment you. People will not find this odd at all and you just might make their day. I have complimented a mom with 3 kids in the store after she left it for being such a good mother, not afraid to take her kids anywhere, she listened to their requests but kept them in line. I have liked the earring a clerk wore and told her i liked them that they were very pretty. Again, do this until its so easy for you until you could do it in your sleep.
Step 4: Takes you further. You can smile and say hello or compliment but it isn't necessary. for this, you simply strike up a conversation that is appropriate to the situation you find yourself in. Usually I ask a question. People don't mind helping or responding to a question or comment. Lets see, its summer, you've gotten your slurpee drink and waiting in line to pay and look around you, the person in line behind you is buying a bag of chips and a Heath bar. Heres a good choice of thing to say. thats my favorite brand of chips too. I especially love it with....., or Heath, mmm thats one of my favorites. Have you ever had the "name" candy bar too? Either the person starts talking or they don't. But I can tell you from studying people and the little I know of personality types, that 80 to 90% OF people have the type of personalitys that are friendly and receptive to people approaching them and very few will not want to talk. In fact the only person I knew like that was a girl I used to share a work cubicle with. You need to believe me that it is not seen as annoying or being clingy. You also need self confidence but although that can be helped a little here, theres more to strengthening it later. It is okay for your personality to be one where you naturally are more introverted. You don't need to change your personality, just become comfortable interacting with the world around you. This is good for starters. Imagine my surprise tho to discover about 15 years later that even though I had no problem with talking to people now, it was old hat...I still didnt realize I had a problem with Fear of what people will think of me. Yup, that one can be subtle.
Again God helped. We had one of those churchs that really rock during worship/music time with people standing and rocking in place or clapping. It was my favorite time. God said, take two hair scrunchies, and glue strips of ribbons of the same length all the way around and wear them on your wrists so that the ribbons sway as you clap during worship. Hear I was a mom with 3 kids and my first thought, I was terrified of what other people would think of me. The only way to get past such a fear, that I didnt even realize i still had, was to face it, and that meant doing as I was told. So I made these wristlets and wore them. I was shaking. I didn't dare look to see if anyone else was looking but looked straight ahead and sang. I immediately got all the kids my girls age, wanting to do the same. I had to make more and soon there was a group of children who would do this, but not a single adult and after a while, I realized i didnt care. I got compliments from some and I asked if they'd like to join me and they all said no. I guess they were too chicken but I gained admiration from others for being so bold to start something new, do something that no one else was doing. If you watch videos on Facebook, surely you've seen the ones of people who stand holding a sign that says, "Free Hugs". That also is something really different that few will do, even those who are friendly and extroverts....that is just something a bit out there, beyond their limits of what they are comfortable. Maybe one day, you'll be ready to tackle that too. It didn't take long to change and overcome my fears. As you face them and push yourself forward, even in baby steps and do so consistantly every day, you'll overcome it sooner than you thought possible. even thought I took my time, it was just a couple months before i didn't worry about what to say anymore. Good luck dear.
Whenever you need further advice, please come to my column and write me from there. I'd like to hear how this works for you. bUT you won't start yet unless you deep inside are sick and tired of being this way.

there is this girl in one of my summer classes, that i'm into. so, i asked her if she would like to study with me and she agreed, so i gave her my number and told her to text me; which she did a few minutes after we said goodbyes. she replied to my next text as well. i texted her a few days later, she didn't reply and about a week after that, i had to leave class early recently, so i texted her a few days ago saying something about not wanting to irritate her further and asking if i could make a copy of her note, she replied saying "sorry i led you to believe that bit it's not because of you. i just have a lot going on..." which i believe. she then took pictures of her notes and sent them to me, i missed another class, and she sent me pictures from that class's notes as well, without me asking. If you're still reading by now, i just want you to know that you have no idea how much i appreciate it. anyway, I've tried to have conversations with her about 3 times after classes now, and she hasn't asked me a single question. but she always seemed friendly. on one hand i have myself convinced that she's just shyish, and on the other i don't wanna face the possible fact that there is nothing there. i really wanna get to know her better, but i don't wanna come on too strong. can you make anything of this?

She may literally just think this was all only about having a study partner and have no clue that you like her. Put yourself in her place. She can't feel or sense what your heart is feeling, can't feel your emotions or pick up on your thoughts, all things which an empath can do. Obviously she is not one. So what is she going to see in how you talk to her or what you do when around her in class to have a clue that you like her? If It was me, I'd have no clue either. You may think that a girl asking you if she could study with you meant 100% for sure that she is interested in you, not the study. But how can you be so sure. Maybe she knows she is not so good at taking notes or doing homework and wants help. Maybe she asked some of the girls first and they didn't want to. Maybe she just thought you looked or seemed like the smart, studious type and thats why she asked. Or maybe the girl wanted a way to get a chance for you to know her a bit better to see if there was a chance to date.
Same here. So it has to be obvious, to the point. If not, girls tend to over-think and 2nd guess whatever a guy says or does if it isn't spelled out in black and white.
Maybe you could try the way my husband contacted me on a website. After explaining why I caught his interest and he didn't mention looks but my characters,, then explained what kind of a male he was, he then said he is leaving it up to me to decide if I want to meet him. If I said No, or did not respond, he would disappear into the shadows, never bother me again and become as if he never was. In your case, I find it may be good to be honest, after all it is a compliment, even if she isnt interested in you, she can't be mad.
tell her that you had several reasons to choose to ask her to help study. You did need the help but you chose her to ask because you were interested in her and didn't want to come on too strong. You want her to know so that she can decide for herself if she would also like to take the chance to get to know you by hanging out together at times other than studying and that its okay for her to tell you she isn't interested that way, in which case, to help her feel more comfortable now knowing how you feel, you will back away and not bother her and find another actual study partner. When you give her the control and are not pushy, it is not scary for the female and she may agree to still study with you. I cant say for sure as I dont know her personality. But it is very true that most females need a guys intentions spelled out in black and white so there is absolutely No way they can misinterpret it.

So, my boyfriend is a senior in high school, and I'm a freshman. My parents were previously begrudgingly okay with us dating, but due to a rather silly misunderstanding, they now forbid it. I don't want to go into the details; really, it's irrelevant. My boyfriend is super smart and nerdy and cute, and I really like him, though I'll admit the idea of a long distance relationship really worries me. He'll forget all about me at college. I know he'd say he wouldn't, but it always works that way. And, I know- my parents say no. But they literally don't understand; they refuse to. And this guy was my first kiss, and it's really the first serious relationship I've ever had, and I won't let that end just because my parents forbid it. I was friends with him for this whole year before we began dating, though I had a crush on him almost all year. We just started dating earlier this month. He's going to college far enough away that it'll be inconvenient but very possible for him to come back home regularly, so I really want to give him a few cutesy little presents to remember me by, you know? He'll come home monthly, he said, but I want to do something like that, and get him to do the same. Any ideas as to what I should do? He loves Pokemon, but I know nothing about it, and I want it to make him think of me. I know all about music, but he knows nothing. We both like Magic the Gathering, and do academic team, and basically being mutually nerdy. I want it to be sweet and stuff, you know? Any input greatly appreciated.

Do you have lots of photos of the two of you together? If so, put them into a mini photo album to give him. It need not be photos of you but familiar haunts, favorite places around town, a photo of the school, favorite pizza joint, that weird statue in the part you hung out at, stuff for him to look at when homesick. Other than that, any store bought gift should do, just write your sentiments in the card that goes along with.

So my father is possibly about to be released from prison after 15 years. He was charged with first degree sexual assault and breaking/entering. He was or is suspected of the same against two others. He's never been violent to me (or it was only when I was too young to recall). However he has with my mom, her children, and his first wife knows (or knew, ill address that in a bit)) he was/is a violent person.

First some background: I'm the bastard child of my parents who were married with their first spouces when I was conceived. My dad is a bit of a player, he went to his home state then back to his first wifes house. Somewhere he hooked up with another lady and they did drugs together. The first wife was hooked on my dad for some reason, my mom was too but got over him over the years. The first wife hated my mom and still does(Blames her for dad going to prison ?!?!). My mom had two sons before me and dad had two sons and a daughter.

I've been reconnecting (or rather connecting since we've been across the country from eachother all the time.) I haven't talked to my dad in a while after things got a bit heated and my parents are no longer talking after moms boyfriend moved in. Originally he told her not it was OK to have a relationship. He called me up to tell me this. He talked to his first wife the same way he has to mom in the past. My mom used my facebook to look at first wifes feed, which mentioned dad quite a bit.

I've been talking to my sis lately. I'm not certain but I think shes in denial about dad or isn't aware of who he really is(I think his sons have a similar sentiment as mine towards dad, one of them telling him they want nothing to do with him). I've been wanting to reconnect with some family after Ive been a shutin for 3 years. I'm dreading any future talk about dad, or why i would be reluctant to have any relationship with him, any more than a few phonecalls per month once he is out. I don't fixate on him, but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel any disgust/shame/resentment. The recent drama with him has me doubting if he's changed.

The strange thing with Firstie is, I found an old newspaper clip where she said he was a bad guy, and claimed there was an order for him not to come near her or her kids. However the sentiment appears to have changed.

The heart of this is:
Should I write him out completely or remain in some contact? I've read that some contact lessens recividism. Should I stay in touch with his other kids and his family? I feel like I don't really know him but hes still my dad. I'm planning on moving and I'm not sure if I should tell him exactly where I'd be. How should I approach any conversation about dad?

To make it easy, my sentiments are exactly the same as advicemans, and I too am curious as to why you have been a shut in.

As for connecting with any half siblings, those who carry the same blood, yes they are family and your siblings and if you do get along with them, then connectin with and seeing them is no problem. And there should be no guilt over being willing to have half siblings in your life but not the man whose sperm created them. that is two quite different things. Now just so you dont get this wrong, there is no law or biblical rule that you must stay in touch with any children he sired. You certainly owe nothing to any of his past wives. Just as with your own circle of friends, only associate with people what you get along with and treat you well. His other children are not him. they are just as separate an individual from him as you are. Only form a relationship with them if you really like them, other wise don't.

My bestfreind is hanging out with her other friend and idk what todo i don't want to be jealous

Happened to me too in my school days. theres no rule that a person can have only one close friend. She may like this other person for totally different qualities than you have, and you have your special qualitys the new friend doesnt. It doesnt mean she's replacing you, just found another person she likes. And like with anything new, like a toy for birthday, you played with it daily cus you were so excited over having this new toy. Same thing in relationships. She may seem to be spending more time at first as she is getting used to this new friend but eventually all things will find their own normal rhythym again and she will find she has equal time for you both. In the meanwhile, while you are waiting, why not make a new friend of your own too?

Before I met my current boyfriend, I was dating someone much older than me, with a lucrative past (he lied about his past, and even his age at first). My boyfriend knows about this guy, but not the details; certainly not his age.

He's never asked, but should I tell him? What if he doesn't want to be with a girl who has a stain on her past?

Thanks :)

the only women who write in with fears of their dating or sexual past being a stain for them with current boyfriend seems to be the ones from India, or some middle eastern country where the mentality of men there is so backwards that women have to order fake hymen kits thru the mail to use and put inside so when he has her on wedding night, she bleeds fake blood and he is satisfied she is a virgin.
It really does not matter what your dating past is, who with, their age, rank or serial number. What is a woman becomes a widow. If her boyfriend going to consider her stained because she has a past with a man? Either you have a fear for no reason or the man you are currently dating has some crazy beliefs and may not be worth your time.

The only time something needs to be revealed is if your a carrier for HPV or Herpes. Although the majority of people today have it and don't know it because most never have the visual signs of it. But if you do know, then this is something you should reveal. Other than that, other details of your past are irrelevant. I was first married to an abusive man. Do you think I worried that some new guy would never have me because I used to be in relationship with an abusive man? nO. And no man that I chose to date had any issue with it when they heard. I also had dated both much younger and much older men after my divorce. that was never an issue for any new guy I met and certainly not the new husband i found.

help people with mental health issues like suicidal thoughts, depression, self-harming,etc but you only need a certificate, no 2-year to 8-year degree in college?

thank you

I worked for a while as a caregiver for such a person. SHe held a job that was within her capabilities to handle but she didn't have to go find it herself as not all employers have positions for physcially or mentally handicapped people. What she had was a job counselor through the state. If you have been treated by a mental health doctor and there is documentation of your issues, then you may likely qualify for a job guidance counselor. Department of social and health services, where people go to get food stamps would be able to direct you and put you in touch with first a counselor who assesses your abilitys and then you are refered to a job counselor. this person then finds you a job, talks to the employer about your abilities and may even stay with you helping to explain to you how to do your job position if needed, and can act as a go between for you and your boss if you are too frustrated or scared or panicking and they will rely on this job counselor too to make sure things work smoothly for themselves and you too. But I believe you'd need to be on medication. this wont apply to someone who knows they have the problem but have never been treated or mentally assessed for it.

What kind of a personal message do u write to a baby in a book

If the baby isn't yet born, just your hopes and wishes for it to have a wonderful life. If already born and you've b een able to observe the baby, then write down your observations. Who you think the baby looks like most, any mannerisms or expresions you see in baby that remind you of someone else. If you were able to read what someone had to say about you as a baby, wouldn't you find that entertaining? I started a journals for my granddaughter with things i observed even as she was real young. Like repeatedly always using her left hand to bat at toys overhead, never her right. I wrote about that with the comment that likely she'd grow up to be a lefty like her grandma. stuff like that is fun to read later when a child is older or an adult.

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