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my friend has a abusive illegal husband who steal from her and is teaching
My friend has a abusive illegal husband who steal from her and is teaching her kids how to act like a illegal, how can she cope
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I abolsutely agree with dragonfly here, she needs to get out and get away from him but planning it will take some time, and she needs to set things up first so that she'll be covered should she leave him with the kids. Find the right timing, maybe while hes at work or gone, have a little bit of money put away, and working possibly if the child are all school age so that she can save up some funds and look for a new place to live if shes not willing to just out and out call the police and have him arrested for domestic violence and have the police REMOVE him from the home.
If shes afraid he will come after her then she needs to take the steps to have things set up so that she can make a quick getting away with the kids while hes gone somewhere first and have a place at a battered womens shelter. These shelters, house womens AND their kids, and some will even feed, and provide medical check ups for you and the kids depending on where she goes.
If she gets the police involved, they will also sometimes suggest a womens shelter thats not widely known so that he cant track her down.
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First things is for her to get in touch with agencies that help abused women. Find them for her and suggest she contact them. She is going to need some sound counseling to make good decisions for her and her children. She may not see that what she has is a problem. So you might remind her that children who grow up seeing abuse will either be emotionally messed up in some ways for life or become abusive themselves. Wish I had someone to tell me this when my kids were little or I would have worked harder at finding a way to be free of my husband. My kids today are not abusive but each have their own sets of emotional issues. I am so sorry now. You can only present her with the info of agencies to turn to. She should be able to get help to get away from him and get on welfare, get schooling to find a good job to take care of her kids, without him. This is one of those situations like that saying, You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. YOu can suggest where she turn to if she really wants out. But she has to be willing to do the steps.
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