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Office love confusion
I am already working and I have this boss. He texts me even though it is work time and he always greets me and teases me. I think I am starting to like him. What should I do? Does he like me? He's only doing those things to me. I am afraid. I haven't had any boyfriend since birth. Please tell me what to do.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Office loves and relationships do sometimes happen. A regular employee and another regular employee flirting and maybe eventually dating is one thing. If something were to turn out bad during the flirtation or dating process the most that would happen is that it could become awkward, or tension filled with the possibility of people bad mouthing the person that they were with or telling about intimate or embarrassing moments.
When it comes to flirting or dating/casually seeing their boss is where things could become tricky. If your boss is paying more attention to than anyone else sometimes rumors start to fly around about what could be going on between you and your boss. It could become a little uncomfortable at work if other people start to pick up on him treating you special or anything. Let's say that he does like you and you two get together, what would happen if things turn out bad? When it's regarding your boss or anyone in a higher position than you that has the power to authorize disciplinary actions or termination of your employment things can become really bad, really fast. Say he would become irrational because you broke it off with him or something.. he may have the power to write you up, suspend you without pay, accuse you of things you didn't do or even fire you.
You really truly never know a person 100%. Almost every human being has something about them that they keep hidden. A lot of people also tend to show the side of themselves that they want you to see, or act a certain way in front of you. You could even be married to someone for 10 years or more and than one day find out something new like a dark past, illegitimate child, marriages you never knew about, crimes they've committed etc.. the list could go on.
My point is that you can never know someone and how they may react about certain things that could happen. It is always best to keep your work life and personal life private.. especially if it is a boss. There is a chance that if he does like you, that things could turn out great and be the best thing that's ever happened to you. But there is also the chance that things could possibly go wrong.
Just because he teases you and greets you doesn't always mean that he likes you in a romantic way. It could be something as simple as he thinks you have a great personality. Even though you think he's only texting you during work time doesn't mean that he's not texting anyone else either. I am sure that there are certain people that wouldn't make it known that their boss was texting them too.
If he were to start asking you really person things or saying things like, "Are you seeing anyone?" or "You're very beautiful." or "Let's go out for dinner or lunch together." Than their is a pretty good chance that he may be into you.
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theres nothing wrong with having a friendly boss who can be human with their employees and friendly, even teasing. But when it is focused on just one, then it is not their usual personality or character but a chosen focus on that one, and likely because they are chasing that person on a personal level. to like someone simply because they are paying attention to you isn't enough to go on to know if they even would make a good match as a couple. If you are recent to the work force and young, you'll find the guys who have issues or lots of broken relationships in the past, would rather go for a young sweet girl who doesnt know any better to be able to spot the warning signs in case he has alot of personal baggage that would hurt you in the long run. they just figure they can get away with it longer as she doesnt' know any better. Now he may be a nice guy, but unless he is the owner of the company, a lot of companies have rules against dating anyone in the office and when hiring, tend to not hire even a 2nd person who may be related in some way to an already part of the staff. He is not doing anything overt right now. But he may be pushing the boundaries of any company rules or laws if he is thinking of pursuing you to date. If he gets away with this, he may become more overt in his advances. For the reason already given to you, this is a bad idea. Also, many companies have strict policies on sexual harassment which in some cases can include what he is currently doing, especially if the girl has stated that she does not want to date within a place of employment and his special attention is unnerving to her and she wants him to stop. then if he doesnt, his neck is in the noose with his superior. Do not ever be so desperate to experience a boyfriend that you accept just any old guy who will pay you attention. Decide what qualitiues you are looking for in a guy. Have your internal or written list of criteria, (which you will revise with experiences,) and stick to that list.
Lastly, you should not be made to feel afraid, or uncomfortable by any employee or a boss. This is not the arena for finding a boyfriend in. So it might be best to say something that doesnt directily accuse him but brings his behavior to his attention. Say it like this: I don't know if you are aware of it, but I have noticed you paying more attention to me than other employees, finding time to talk and tease and text me during the day when you do not do the same with other employees. It makes me feel uncomfortable and so I am pointing this out so you would realize it and stop doing this." Either he says, sorry and backs off, or he professes to have an interest in you personally to date. then it is up to you to decide whether to heed our advice and tell him you have a personal policy to not date anyone at work, or accept and date him. If you never have any personal rules or criteria to share with a guy that you are looking for, they'll likely figure they can get away with anything. So decide what you want to do. If you don't like the choice you made, you can always change it later.
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Don't date your boss. Very bad idea. Maybe you can date him if you find another job. If you do try dating and it doesn't work out, you still have to see him when you go to work, and that'll be uncomfortable and awkward. ( Assuming he doesn't fire you so he doesn't have to see you all the time). I dated a girl I worked with, didn't work out and it sucked having to be around her every day. It would have been way worse if she was my boss.
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