I have a lot of advice to offer because of my own experiences and the experiences from the people I know, love and care about. I am also a Registered Medical Assistant and know about a decent amount about health related topics. Especially when it comes to individuals and their families dealing with intellectual disabilities and mental health issues. I work with people who struggle with those issues almost every day.
E-mail: BipolarGirl86@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Allentown, PA
Age: 28
Yahoo: BipolarGirl86
Member Since: June 7, 2015
Answers: 3
Last Update: June 7, 2015
Visitors: 1125
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I am a young adult that does not feel independent because I still live with my parent. I am a young adult that took 3 years to graduate from a community college. I only had two summer jobs(one this summer) and I compare myself to others and sometimes I feel behind. Although I am a good student, I feel that I lack what I should have which is independence. My plan to obtain imdependence was to leave home and go away to college. But, after spending 3 years at a community college, I have to spend 3 more years at a 4 year university. I feel like I failed myself and I am worried about the expense of college for the next 3 years. I just need a positive perspective because right now, I just feel overwhelmed and caught in my emotions.
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I have been in situations similar to you so I can understand where you are coming from. It is frustrating when you feel like you are not as independent as you want to be, and need to depend on your parent(s) for basic life necessities. But since you are still a young adult, you have time to get everything together such as getting a degree so you can find a good paying job that will make you happy. Try not to rush things either. It is much, much easier to do better in school and have all the time you need to study without having to worry about working to pay your rent and any other bills.
Comparing yourself to other people is not healthy for your mental and emotional health. Everyone does things at different paces. Some people are dealt excellent cards in life and things come to them easily and without much effort. And then there are people who have to work harder to achieve things in life. Everyone's situations are different. Try to look at living with your parent(s) as an excellent opportunity to advance in school. If you would have been living independently, by yourself, and working full time or more, you would have to try to earn enough money to pay for everything by yourself; rent, utilities, phone, food, transportation, house hold needs etc.. dealing with all that may have meant that you were in school longer and maybe a part time student, which may have doubled how long you need to go to school.
You definitely did not fail yourself. There are so many people in this world that would never get to go to any college to begin with, or some people gave up on college because they couldn't work and go to school because their hours conflicted or they didn't have time. There are also people that didn't even finish community college because they kept failing, or they missed too many classes and/or assignments. However, you were able to stay on board, attend your classes, learn new information and graduate. I'm sure you may have had some struggles or felt overwhelmed while attending community college and felt like giving up. But you made it! Be proud of yourself! That was a big achievement. Who cares how long it took you? The fact that you succeeded in what you set out to do is amazing. I have failed at things too and had to repeat a year but that just meant that I needed to push myself a little harder. After I turned 18 I ended up living with my mom off on and until I was about 26 and when I seen a lot of people that I went to school with and realized that they had an excellent job, or was in a happy marriage and a family of their own. I would get upset and even a little jealous too. It took a while but I finally got to where I wanted to be. You will get there too. Don't rush it though. You are doing just fine.
As for the cost of school, it can get a little unnerving and overwhelming. There are student loan places/services that you can go to that will help you out regardless if you have good, bad or no credit. A good majority of the time the school that you choose to go to will point you in the right direction and advise you on things you can do or try. Always try to apply for financial aid too which will also let you know if you qualify for any grants. There are websites you can find that offer scholarships. Some of those websites may ask you to write something about why you feel you should get a scholarship from them and a bunch of other stuff. Just start googling and researching things. You would be surprised by what you may find.
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I am already working and I have this boss. He texts me even though it is work time and he always greets me and teases me. I think I am starting to like him. What should I do? Does he like me? He's only doing those things to me. I am afraid. I haven't had any boyfriend since birth. Please tell me what to do. (link)
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Office loves and relationships do sometimes happen. A regular employee and another regular employee flirting and maybe eventually dating is one thing. If something were to turn out bad during the flirtation or dating process the most that would happen is that it could become awkward, or tension filled with the possibility of people bad mouthing the person that they were with or telling about intimate or embarrassing moments.
When it comes to flirting or dating/casually seeing their boss is where things could become tricky. If your boss is paying more attention to than anyone else sometimes rumors start to fly around about what could be going on between you and your boss. It could become a little uncomfortable at work if other people start to pick up on him treating you special or anything. Let's say that he does like you and you two get together, what would happen if things turn out bad? When it's regarding your boss or anyone in a higher position than you that has the power to authorize disciplinary actions or termination of your employment things can become really bad, really fast. Say he would become irrational because you broke it off with him or something.. he may have the power to write you up, suspend you without pay, accuse you of things you didn't do or even fire you.
You really truly never know a person 100%. Almost every human being has something about them that they keep hidden. A lot of people also tend to show the side of themselves that they want you to see, or act a certain way in front of you. You could even be married to someone for 10 years or more and than one day find out something new like a dark past, illegitimate child, marriages you never knew about, crimes they've committed etc.. the list could go on.
My point is that you can never know someone and how they may react about certain things that could happen. It is always best to keep your work life and personal life private.. especially if it is a boss. There is a chance that if he does like you, that things could turn out great and be the best thing that's ever happened to you. But there is also the chance that things could possibly go wrong.
Just because he teases you and greets you doesn't always mean that he likes you in a romantic way. It could be something as simple as he thinks you have a great personality. Even though you think he's only texting you during work time doesn't mean that he's not texting anyone else either. I am sure that there are certain people that wouldn't make it known that their boss was texting them too.
If he were to start asking you really person things or saying things like, "Are you seeing anyone?" or "You're very beautiful." or "Let's go out for dinner or lunch together." Than their is a pretty good chance that he may be into you.
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Hi guys :)
I am 24/f and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and and have lived together for 3 years. He has had a lot of trouble getting a job due to not finishing high school and having big gaps in his résumé and not much experience due to having a bit of a troubled time as a teenager. He hasn't kept a job the entire time we have been dating. He recently decided to go to uni to try to make a career for himself and has elected to go to a uni in another state hours away so he moved about six months ago.. Because he can't support himself with no job he lives with his sister who supports him. He wanted me to move with him and I said no because I had a good job and friends and family here and I was worried he may not be motivated enough to stick it out at uni. His degree is three years and he recently said he is considering moving back to be with me at the end of this year but I don't think thats fair on him. I don't think it's fair for me to move there if I don't want to and I don't think it's fair for him to move back to me because I would feel so guilty if he did since this is his life and career we are talking about I don't completely understand what he is feeling because I would of never moved away from him and I feel a bit sad he has moved away from me but saying that isn't fair either. Chances of him getting work are higher than here so he may choose to still live there after his degree is finished. I feel a bit unsure about what to do and I need help. The way I see it there are three options, me move there, him move back or us break up and I don't want to do any of them :/ (link)
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I know that three years is a decent amount of time to be in a relationship. And if you are like most other people, you're relationship most likely has had it's ups and downs and struggles to make the relationship work.
You mentioned that you think he may not be motivated enough which could potentially cause a lot of issues and stress on a relationship. Since he's thinking of moving back in with you, it is very possible that he doesn't even want to continue with Uni. Most people that are not motivated rarely make it through Uni.. especially if they need to go for more than two years. Which is something that you need to be aware of.
If he would move back in with you, you will most likely be supporting him between jobs. Paying for the things he wants and/or needs. I know you probably have done that for him in the past, but honestly.. how long are you willing to do that for? A few months? Weeks? Years? They rest of your life/rest of the relationship with him? That's something you are going to need to consider. Think about how long you are going to support him before it becomes a burden for you. If you think you will be able to continuously support him that's great. However, even if you have an excellent paying job, and everyone where you work loves you.. jobs are not a guarantee. Nothing in life is a guarantee. God forbid you ever lose your job (which I am not saying will happen.. but just incase), who is going to take care of you? Not your boyfriend unless he gets a really good job where he makes more than minimum wage. If that would ever happen (that you become unemployed) I'm sure you could find someone to help you, if it's only you. However, add an additional person to the mix and there are less people that would be willing to take both you in. I know from experiences of my own and people that I know.
As for you moving to be with him, that really isn't fair to you. It isn't even fair of him to ask that of you. You have your own life right where you are. A good job and people that love and care for you. I could see maybe making that move if things weren't going well for you where you are currently at. If that were the case, a move might even benefit you. It's hard to uproot yourself and go to a place that's not familiar to you. If you would be moving in with his sister as well, you don't exactly know how everything would turn out. If you would move in and say you and her had a disagreement for whatever reason where would you go if you are not in a place where you know other people? If you were able to find your own place that would be great but you would have to make sure that you can get a secure job there. Also keep in mind that every time you change jobs, it is always a possibility that you may not like it and become unhappy.
I know that breaking up with someone that you have been together with for that long is a really bad thought and it would hurt you emotionally and mentally. And breaking up with someone you love could possibly be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do. You need to think of your own future and happiness in the long run. Try not to make rash decisions based on how you are feeling at the moment. Moments and today's feelings will eventually come to an end.. the most important thing is how things might play out for you in the future.
If you are 100% sure that you do not want to break up with him, than try to make the long distance relationship work. I know a few people that were able to make it work, but there were also people who had the long distant thing fail miserably and it turned out to be a waste of their time and money that it costs to make those trips to go see their partner. Him coming back to live with you, or you moving to live with him isn't fair to either of you's. You are both trying to do your own things.
Try writing a pros and cons list of all the options that you feel you have and maybe you can get some insight regarding what's best for you.
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