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I did not expect this
I am a young adult that does not feel independent because I still live with my parent. I am a young adult that took 3 years to graduate from a community college. I only had two summer jobs(one this summer) and I compare myself to others and sometimes I feel behind. Although I am a good student, I feel that I lack what I should have which is independence. My plan to obtain imdependence was to leave home and go away to college. But, after spending 3 years at a community college, I have to spend 3 more years at a 4 year university. I feel like I failed myself and I am worried about the expense of college for the next 3 years. I just need a positive perspective because right now, I just feel overwhelmed and caught in my emotions.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I have been in situations similar to you so I can understand where you are coming from. It is frustrating when you feel like you are not as independent as you want to be, and need to depend on your parent(s) for basic life necessities. But since you are still a young adult, you have time to get everything together such as getting a degree so you can find a good paying job that will make you happy. Try not to rush things either. It is much, much easier to do better in school and have all the time you need to study without having to worry about working to pay your rent and any other bills.
Comparing yourself to other people is not healthy for your mental and emotional health. Everyone does things at different paces. Some people are dealt excellent cards in life and things come to them easily and without much effort. And then there are people who have to work harder to achieve things in life. Everyone's situations are different. Try to look at living with your parent(s) as an excellent opportunity to advance in school. If you would have been living independently, by yourself, and working full time or more, you would have to try to earn enough money to pay for everything by yourself; rent, utilities, phone, food, transportation, house hold needs etc.. dealing with all that may have meant that you were in school longer and maybe a part time student, which may have doubled how long you need to go to school.
You definitely did not fail yourself. There are so many people in this world that would never get to go to any college to begin with, or some people gave up on college because they couldn't work and go to school because their hours conflicted or they didn't have time. There are also people that didn't even finish community college because they kept failing, or they missed too many classes and/or assignments. However, you were able to stay on board, attend your classes, learn new information and graduate. I'm sure you may have had some struggles or felt overwhelmed while attending community college and felt like giving up. But you made it! Be proud of yourself! That was a big achievement. Who cares how long it took you? The fact that you succeeded in what you set out to do is amazing. I have failed at things too and had to repeat a year but that just meant that I needed to push myself a little harder. After I turned 18 I ended up living with my mom off on and until I was about 26 and when I seen a lot of people that I went to school with and realized that they had an excellent job, or was in a happy marriage and a family of their own. I would get upset and even a little jealous too. It took a while but I finally got to where I wanted to be. You will get there too. Don't rush it though. You are doing just fine.
As for the cost of school, it can get a little unnerving and overwhelming. There are student loan places/services that you can go to that will help you out regardless if you have good, bad or no credit. A good majority of the time the school that you choose to go to will point you in the right direction and advise you on things you can do or try. Always try to apply for financial aid too which will also let you know if you qualify for any grants. There are websites you can find that offer scholarships. Some of those websites may ask you to write something about why you feel you should get a scholarship from them and a bunch of other stuff. Just start googling and researching things. You would be surprised by what you may find.
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Taking three years to graduate a community college is not a failure it is a success. Today the norm for all school of higher education is a year or more longer to graduate as our high schools are not properly preparing our children for college properly, even the good students.
Then their are people like my son thought he wanted one career and in mid schooling changed his career choice which required an extra year of schooling as not all the prerequisite courses in his first choice were acceptable in his second choice. TO day he has a degree in Emergency Medicine and is a Paramedic/Firefighter. There are at least 12 people that I know of that are alive today because he did not let that extra year of school bother him and he was their paramedic.
If you must go to an extra year of school to complete your education at the four year school you will be in good company. As many of their students will be joining you as they spent their first year review in and or learning what the did not get in high school.
As to the expense of College or University. This is unfortunate that our young people leave school saddled in debt equal to that of the cost of some houses. This is where we as a society have let our young people down. In many countries higher education is at public cost. Where students share the cost some of the required ancillary courses our schools require are not required which lower the cost of schooling.
All of what you are concerned with adds up to what it costs today to get the education you need so that you can have a good, independent life. Get a job that is both fulfilling and allows for a comfortable lifestyle for you and a family.
Are you wrong to be concerned; no. To be paralyzed by fear of these things would be wrong. This unfortunately is what it costs to get the education you need to have a better life than you parents have. This is the American dream.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by all of this I suggest you find a good psychologist that you can talk with who will help you put all of this in its proper perspective. I agree it can be overwhelming especially if you internalize it. A psychologist will help you deal with it in a helpful way that is confidential between you and the psychologist.
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Well, first thing: NOBODY, EVER has failed themselves by getting an education.
The concern over the cost of the education is something faced by many (most?) people. On that, I don't have much to offer... job on the side, student loans and don't waste what funds you DO have on frivolous stuff.
It certainly sounds as though you're on the right track. It's probably hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel NOW, but each day brings you one step closer to your final goal of living well by way of the opportunities that a good education can provide and independence attained through living well.
Hannibal of The A-Team would love this situation; it's a plan destined to come together!
Best of luck!
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