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is giving advice worth it?
I've answered about 20 questions. Gotten 3 ratings and one thank you. I started doing this cause I like giving advice and helping. The problem is that we don't even know if the person who asked the question even saw your answer. The only way to know is if your answer is rated or you get a thank you. I feel like I spend a lot of time on here and I'm just giving advice to nobody. It kinda takes away the whole "helping people" if you don't even know they read your answer. Sure, its good practice to answer some questions, figure things out about myself. Just not sure if its worth the time to keep answering questions that may never find their target. Maybe I'll look for a site that tells you the person read it, at least. Feeling a little discouraged.
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No answer does not necessarily mean the person has not read your advice. We can't force help on people, only offer a new approach, try to shed some light and so on. Your advice, per se, may not be what they want to hear at the time and so the response is likely to be a rotten remark. Purely becuase it does not converge very closely (or at all!) to what they fundamentally 'want to hear'. The advice may well be very sound. Peoples problems are rarely two-dimensional, and a 'good-bad' evaluation is not always possible either. Neither are they always so definitely resolved by a single reply. And an instant response is not a thing we really have a right to expect every time. Possibly it sometimes plants a 'seed' of an idea which may indeed grow and flower when the time is right? Maybe some of your thoughts will slowly be factored-in to their reasonning. Along with other ideas. Don't get disheartend if you don't get a gushing thanks and a gold star every time mate. Not by any means. Their (our?) problems are often too subtle, complex and multi-staged to fit into this rather rigid framework. Remember there are more ways to open a door than banging on it. People other than the recipient browse the replies. Many may find some real gold in a reply YOUR recipient seems to have overlooked, or even dismissed. You'll maybe never know for sure. Taking away the instant gratification of a response does not make your effort futile. Counselling (which is what you're doing) should of course never be about YOU imposing your idea on the subject. Recognise when you ARE doing this, and search again before you post it. Write it again. Then offer it up. It's all about the person who posts it. Main thing, is keep on keeping on and don't be discouraged.
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HI, I have been answering questions on this site for six years. I have also spent the better part of my adult life affiliated in some manner with public service. In my life as a public servant I can tell you few if any people thank you though when the one in several hundred do so it is very meaningful.
As a firefighter we see people at times in their lives when the world has turned upside down and they expect us to put it right side up or as close to it as possible. They are thankful for what you do for them they just don't think to say so for they are caught up in the tragedy that has befallen them.
The same is somewhat true for the people you answer questions for on this site. Some do write just to yank our chain and to see what kind of answers we give to what may appear to be serious questions. Then you get a reply months later how you answer made a big difference in their lives or pulled them back from the edge. These are the replies that make this all worth while for me for I know that I have actually helped someone.
As for the hundreds of other questions I have answered. As others have told me I will say to you as others have. You never know who are reading these questions and our answers. The person who wrote them may be yanking our chain but our answer may indirectly help someone that fears writing us.
Keep answering questions where you feel your knowledge of the question will help someone. You may never know but you may save someone's life. From experience I can tell you there is no greater high in life then the knowledge that you saved a life.
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Most like they come back and see you answer and just never respond because their itching to get back out there and apply the advice!
Even if they didnt come back and let you know how it worked out or rated you or anything it still helps that people who lurk and read what you said get to see it and apply it to their own lives if they ever come up on a similar situation can use.
your adivice still gives not only the person who asked but readers here the TOOLS to be able to go forth knowing what to do should they encounter something like what they read abotu on here that someone ELSE posted. ; )
helping people is what its all about. not racking up points my friend.
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Most people asking for advice dont take the time to post a question they are unwilling to look for answers to. Now there have been a few who just want to yank our chain and really have no issue and make it all up, rephrasing the question multiple times, changng the scenerio slightly each time and sometimes it takes until the 3rd time before I realize someone is just playing with us.
I am on here because I am a person by nature who is nurturing and caring and like to help others and consider my life to be one of being in service to others. Not as a maid or such mind you, but just being available and willing.
Yes, many do not respond. We get some very troubled people or immature ones who dont realize it might help for them to leave a comment. Or some give a low rating to everyone who answered cus we gave the most sound logical answers, when all they wanted is someone to agree with them on the wrong thing they want to do, and we will not do that.
We aren't here to get brownie points and lots of 5's, but because we honestly want to help. Maybe some enjoy the glory of having someone write back they liked your advice.
I am not here for that. I try to put myself in the other persons shoes and on some of the stuff people ask for advice, I've been there and can truly share out of my experience. And I truly do hope some decide to follow my advice or at least someone elses. wHAT i put into words may not make as much sense to a person as the same thing said by another advice giver. We each have our own set of internal dialog and how we think and word things and theres bound to be one set of advice that will make sense to the person asking when they don't quite understand the others. It really takes all of us doing our best, so if you like giving advice, yes you are needed as much as the rest of us.
Yes, you can end up spending a lot of time answering questions, I certainly do. But to me, its worth it, if even just two people out of the hundreds end up having a better life because what I said helped. I know they have been working on making some changes in here to the site that will improve things and can't remember if your concern is one of them. You'd have to ask Dangernerd, the creator about that.
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