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peace for a middle class family girl from India
Hi I am 24,female..hello there.hi I am middle class family girl from.India and belong to a very complicated extended family where family members n relatives don't take each others side they employ themselves rather to insult n criticize others.. I have to do this I have to do that I have to compete her I have to do better than him n so on to prove my worth...as if I don't have my own identity.i always have been judged on others quality and qualifications.i always have tried to make a good girl impression in front of everyone obeyed everybody.lastly my bf.we fought millions of time n patched up trillion of time.but I never could make him understand what I really want out of him..yes I made million mistakes n he did too..lately I even couldn't withstand him..but still we managed to get back to each other.but recently I am noticing a great change within me.i gathered lots of patience.i don't fight with anyone.i become absolutely silent if there is any possibility of fight.i am being detached from everyone and every emotions.i have stopped expecting things from everyone.i make peace with myself.i have lost interest in every exciting social phenomena;e.g.-marriage,motherhood,family,love..i even lost interest in sex..but still me n my bf we are till now together so I couldn't stop him from being intimated though I don't feel good about it..i did it just to avoid any argument or fight n just to maintain the peace..i feel like leaving home n to go join a nunnery..but ad I am still a student dependent on my parents..don't have a job..so what n how should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First of all,hello dear. I will try to get straight to the point here. You don't need to compete with ANYONE to prove your worth. Only YOU need to be aware of your worth,the rest will either see it eventually or not see it at all. Which is,again,their problem,not yours. I would strongly suggest that you break up with your boyfriend. It is more of a habit than an actual relationship. You are worthy of someone who will make you feel happy. Only God knows how hard it was for me when I had to do it,to break up,but thanks to it I met the man of my dreams. And finally,you don't have to be interested in things that fascinate others. Unfortunately,I can't tell you exactly what to do,because I can only give advice,not step-by-step instructions. My advice would be to wait until you finish high school or college,and then go and do what you feel like doing. If anything,I hope I made you feel better.
Best wishes,
Luchia94
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