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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Is it weird for a guy to be more comfortable being intimate with guys (hugging and what not)than with girls?

I think you've written in before and we all answered no its not weird.
If not the same person, please excuse my wondering...we've had a lot of the exact same question lately.
If you are the same person and still asking the same question, i am wondering if you're wanting to hear the opposite answer, that you are weird? Have you asked yourself why you want to believe you are weird?
If none of us can change your mind and you are going to believe there is something still very wrong and weird about that, perhaps might I suggest you consider asking to go get some counseling help from a professional? Perhaps you would be more inclined to believe them?
Ask the parents to get you in to see your Dr who can then recommend a counselor, Or ask your school counselor to help put you in touch with a professional counselor who can deal with this and help you.

I'm 13 years old and I think that I just got my 4 period this month, but the thing is I'm not even sure if it's, I got first in December 19 2014 but last month I didn't get it and nor in January, I really hate this, and it's a different time like Iits usually the middle of the month, but this week I got it at the begging, im not sure what does that mean??, but I really want to know when I'm getting my period, because I wake up full of stains and it's really nasty so how do I know when I'm getting my period?? My family isn't so supportive and I have to relay on YouTube but No video is telling me about which way to put my pad, I have no clue which is he butt hole side and which is the vagina side, so which ones which?? Thanks

Here's a link I always hand out to girls who worry about irregular periods.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html

Just so you know we're not just saying its normal. At 14 i started and for next two years or so was very irregular, 2 or 3 months with no period at all was common as well as what seemed like two smaller lighter periods closer together. It is for this reason that any girl at such an early age often thinks she is pregnant whether she's even been having sex or not. A teen girl can not rely on the counting method of her period to know when she is not fertile and safe because she could ovulate at just about any time.

I know of a you tuber Laci Green who as a teen felt she couldn't talk to parents either for whatever reason and realized entering her own sexual awakening with her body that she had much to learn on what was healthy or not for cleaning down there, choices of period products and how to use, learning about gender differences, dating and relationships and everything there is to know about sex and even the history behind the term "Virgin". its not what you may think. So if you are gung ho about self educating, I also have a link to her main page.
www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
She's in her twenties now, has worked with Planned Parenthood making some videos for them and does get the real facts, not just what she 'thinks' on these subjects. Very entertaining short videos that can be replayed over and over and as someone in her 50s highly recommend her for the youth of today.
As for pads, yes the wider end goes towards the back. But just an ahead for when you do get regular periods and leak while asleep during the heavier days, used two pads. If you put one pad in normal place, that works only while you're upright, walking sitting, not laying down and liquids will leak past the wider butt end. So to remedy that, move one pad way higher so you're covered almost to where butt crack starts, turn the 2nd around so the wide end is facing front. Overlap in the middle and you're covered well. this should cut down on leakage accidents at night. As soon as possible, if clothing still wet with blood, get in sink under hot water and get used to touching your own blood girl cus it cant be helped, rub and swish the cloth back and forth until the majority of blood is gone. Find a product in your area called Grandmas Secret spot remover.
http://www.grandmassecretproducts.com/
It seriously has worked for me on blood and even grease from the car door on my clothes. Here is their link. I'd contact them, give your zip code and ask what stores in your area carry their product. I first saw it at a hardward store, then at a craft store, Haven't found in groceries yet. When I move I'll ask for my area.
Hope this all helps you.

Does going to the bathroom alot help end the period faster???

Let me guess, the only time I wanted a period to end faster was because I had a date or it was a planned night to spend with my lover. Am I right?
If so, please read on.

No you can't make it end faster. But here's something to know about having a period and wanting to have sex at the same time. Some men are totally turned off by the idea of their girl being on her period and won't want to have sex. Other men find it a turn on, not because they are into blood and gore and dark gothic vampire fans, haha. Actually, I have heard enough men in my past tell me that they think of women as a Goddess, or as special for having the ability to create life and their period is just a reminder of that ability, like a special sacrament from her body. Of course this is only a good idea if the two are fluid bonded, and have been checked out for STD's and the common ones they dont always check for Herpes and HPV which a great majority of people do have and dont know it.

If you are not on your heaviest flow days and it is early days of period and ending days of it, then those days will work great. Once you are very aroused, your body should naturally stop the flow, much like it tends to do if taking a bath. this works for most women, only a few it doesnt. Don't know why. But I remember other than initial blood showing at the beginning if we had an extended time together,later, there was no blood showing at all because my body just temporarily stopped the flow as long as the activity was kept up. And doing so while on period did not interfere with ability to have good orgasms. So if thats your reason for your question, and protection isn't a concern, then ask your partner how he feels about it. If he doesn't like it, then you inform him its not going to work out cus you're on your period. Honesty about this is not gross. All guys know women have periods, we just never talk about it to them cus we're too embarassed but you need not be. Only a few douchbags of a guy will react badly.

if someone was born in a state, and died can they come to another place after they died? or does it not work like that?

If you're asking if a soul is restricted in where it can go to after a person dies, no, there is no restriction I've heard of. What I have read of others experiences is a soul who died and dRS brought back all had different experiences but enough in common to know the most common experiences were some going directly with Jesus, an angel or a passed on relative to heaven while others stayed watching the process at the hosp a bit, realized they had died and then went to visit the relatives who werent at hosp. or unaware of their death and this was different homes same city, other city, where evern in the world the relative was they wanted to see. I hear the moment a soul thinks it, they instantly appear there. Many many accounts from people of the same thing.
Why do you ask and why it is important to you?

Everytime i go for a bath when i get out i feel extremely dizzy like i am going too faint and like i am gonna spew this happens everytime i get out off a bath and one when it happened i spewed

There is a physical reason for this if it only occurs after hot baths or hot tub experiences or even a prolonged hot shower has done it for me once. I will paste a helpful link based on hottubs but for some people a hot bath will have the same effect.
http://www.drjustingallantnd.com/blog/how-hot-tubs-affect-your-blood-pressure

It all has to do with your blood pressure. I am now on blood pressure meds and no longer have the problem as long as I remember to drink plenty of fluids before going into the shower, bath, hottub because when more dehydrated, you can still get the same effects even if on BP meds due to less water in your body and body running thicker, the flow not as easy and the heat will affect it.

If you haven't already, I would advise seeing your Dr. to have BP checked as soon as possible cus you may not have any other signs that something is up and this is a good one.
Otherwise, shorten your time in, make not quite as hot and drink plenty fluids an hour or so before taking that bath.
Good luck.

What is the solution of the breast pain after sucking of husband

If he got carried away and now you are sore, you first need to let him know that he was too intense or rough and now you are sore because of it. You may not have known at the time but just in case he wants more before you have healed, you must say something. Communication between partners is very important, especially when the subject is anything of a sexual nature. Temper what you say with the fact that you loved it alot and want more but just gentler next time and you'll let him know when it no longer feels tender.
Time should be the best thing for you and your body knows how to heal itself from something like this.
If you have hickeys, theres things you can do to help them fade. Just look online doing a search for "relief for hickeys" and try some of the methods if this is also a concern.
As for feeling sore, try for temporary relief through what works best for you in pain relief, cold compresses, or heat treat ments. If you don't have those freezable gel packs or a heating pad and need alternative ideas, let me know, i'll give them to you.

Hey, so I'm a 14 year old guy with a bit of an issue. Recently I've broken up with my girlfriend, but we're still good friends. Now that that's happened, I've just been looking for a girl to be with. The problem is, I keep falling for girls who are either out of my league, meaning I wouldn't have a chance with them, or an amazing girl...with a boyfriend. Another thing is, I know this sounds weird but, I keep getting girls to have a crush on me online! I don't know what it is, maybe I'm good at flirting from my phone? But honestly I'm sick of online relationships, I just want to be the perfect guy with a girl that I can hold her hand, take her on surprise dates, and love her as much as my heart can let me. Can someone help? Thanks!

I agree, you do sound confused, or perhaps you didn't use the right words or explain correctly for me. Please understand, I can only go by what written words I see and yours confuse me particularly: I've just been looking for a girl to be with.

And the fact is that you're on the rebound from a relationship that didn't work,and now remain just friends. I do not know what caused the breakup in the first place and whether that issue might be carried unknowingly into the next relationship if you were somewhat at cause for it. It takes two to make a relationship work or not work, its never just one. I just get the impression from your statement that you are looking for a girl, just as a social friend to hang out with. Perhaps not ready to let your heart feel again feelings for another girl as you need to heal first. Then I hear: I just want to be the perfect guy with a girl that I can hold her hand, take her on surprise dates, and love her as much as my heart can let me.
And that statement comes across to at least me as something much more involved and stronger feelings than just "a girl to be with". Perhaps you did mean, to be with her as her loving boyfriend, not just a close friend, cus theres the friend zone and then there's actual dating.

Lets put you in the shoes of the girls you say are out of your league. If you can't quite imagine yourself as the female, how about as handsome as whatever actor you think is handsome or some male model. And yes, you have lots of pretty girls come after you and pretend to really care about you but in time you discover, they were pretty only on the outside, very shallow and self serving, want to be seen with you only for the prestige and fame it gives them among their peers, something that teens are Very concerned about, being accepted. But they dont really care about you, let you down, fight often, nitpick, etc...too much trouble. There are some lonely girls who really admire you for who you are, actually have the same interests but they feel they wouldn't have a chance with you cus your'e so handsome and in the popular crowd, that you wouldn't even look twice at them. But they never try cus they feel they don't have a chance, so you as a handsome guy wanting to find a love, are all alone cus you no longer trust beauty and haven't quite seen personal beauty in those other girls yet.
wHEN it come to average looking people, the majority are that, few meet the standards that are blown out of proportion by the media as to what hansome, hot and beautiful and sexy are. Mainly because they are unrealistic and many are photoshopped and such.
So do not think you do not have a chance with the popular girls. Some will be shallow, but others will be loving and kind and boyfriend-less.
In the majority of average looking people, all have something about them that not all, but some people will find beautiful or handsome. it is more a matter of personal taste. So rest assured that when you find the right girl, she will find you to be handsome, inside and out and no man who looks more handsome than you could steal her away. Thats true love. Looks can get tiring quickly if theres no nice personality to go with it. But these are things you will hopefully learn simply by experiencing. Im just giving you things to think about. You may be attracted to the more outstanding looks if these are the ONLY girls you are attracted to which only time and bad experiences can train you to shift your tastes otherwise. Those so called average looking girls can become quite beautiful when loved by a guy. Like a layer of hidden beauty surfaces, her eyes sparkle more, her smile become captivating, she takes extra care with her appearance and she becomes what i would call the average natural beauty. So either you are not bold enough and should try to approach some of those out of your league' girls or shift your attention elsewhere in looking for a girlfriend and its for you to discover in which group this girlfriend of yours will be, truly it could be either, cus nice girls who make good girlfriends can be found in either group, theres just less of them in the popular girl group and more in the natural average beauty group. lots of men don't wake up and realize they have been looking in the wrong places, going after looks rather than the whole girl, and who she is inside too and end up not changing until in their thirties, now finally ready to find a good woman. It doesnt have to take as long for you to learn this if you want quality over media image of beauty. Take in mind at 14, theres still a lot of personal growth and maturing yet left to do and many relationships still will not last long at this age. but if you can go 6 months to a year, you are doing good. Good luck. Any more specific questions, just ask by going to my column and writing from there. good luck

So my parents have a big relationship issue. they are constanly fighting over the stupidest things (such as how much laundry detergent needs to go in the washer) and it ends up turning into screaming matches. I can tell my mom hates my dad. She's always rolling her eyes at him, making rude comments about his weight, and she never tells him any of her plans. Also, when I was about 5 or 6 (I'm 15 now) they stopped sleeping in the same bed. My mom said it was "because he snores" but he sleeps on the air mattress across the hall from their bedroom. Before my sisters wedding, my mom said "I regret getting married and not waiting until I knew your father better". They seem like they should be getting a divorce except my mom is highly against getting a divorce. I don't know if I should tell them how their relationship make me feel, and how it effects my life, or if I should try to convince them to get couples therapy. I'm just afraid that they will think it's not my business and not listen.

It is a bad situation in that mom is against divorce no matter how miserable she is in this marriage. They co-habitat, produced kids together but are not in essense, a couple. Only a marriage license, a piece of paper says so. two people don't have to be in love with each other and perfect for each other to produce kids. And such was the case for me. I married a church going guy, thought it was a good choice but too naive and inexperienced to see the subtle clues that something was off. I wasn't experienced sexually, a virgin so I had no idea that he and I did not incite passion in each other. So from my wedding night on, I never was satisfied by him, and he wasnt by me. However he had mental health issues and yet I stayed against my familys counseling because at the time I believed what i was taught at church, that it is wrong to divorce, as they said, instead, let God heal your marriage. Have faith. Well, I had faith for 30 yrs before God finally got through to me and said, I gave each of you a free will. If I choose to change him from who he is, into someone perfect for you, then I take away his right and free will to be who he is. In the end I realized it was more important to my physical health which was suffering, to leave him. I now have the perfect husband in a new man.
So if they stopped sleeping together, its not just the snoring, that was the excuse they gave, but something deeper, they were likely not right for each other. Unfortunately, in staying, the 3 daughters got to witness their fathers verbal abuse towards me and it over all the years did have an impact on them. So I am sure it may be doing the same to you. WHile you still feel normal to yourself, it is more likely that you could easily explain away bad or dangerous behaviour in a guy. One daughter married 3rd time even tho not yet 30 and the guy is a total mental nutcase, so dangerous to himself that we fear for the safety of her and kids.ling his responses or anger in situations so I do worry for her too. the 3rd, is not able to commit long term to any guy because, she has such high expectations in wanting to be sure she doesn't marry someone anywehere near like Dad, that no man on the planet can meet her criteria. SHe finds fault in all of them eventually after dating for a while. She's on #5 right now. I wish I knew back then what I know looking back. It would have been better to leave him earlier for the kids mental/emotional development. But even if they had said something, like your mom, I was totally against divorce, so it would have done nothing. What damage may have been done inside yuou giving yu a warped perspective of relationships if any, has already had its effect by now. YOu've witness way too much of the negative and likely have no idea what a harmonious loving relationship between a man and woman should look like. Definately, if they have been a mismatch since day one, then couples therapy is not the answer, divorce is. I am sure each loves you in their own way, just not each other. that is something that your saying anything to them is not going to magically fix. It will only make mom feel more miserable. As long as you are provided for and your are not being neglected or physically abused, the law would uphold them that they are doing all that is needed for kids and they are still within the bounds of the law. So you wouldnt even have the law on your side.
You are right they will feel its none of your business and not listen even though technically as it does effect you, it should be. But in real life, things don't work that way. If you still are determined to b ring it up, just do it one at a time cus if you bring it up to both at the same time, they will immediately start fighting and blaming each other. If you just can't let things be and wait until you can move out, then the next time Mom makes a comment like she did before the wedding, use the opportunity to launch a convo based on what she said, like "Mom, in what ways do you regret getting married to Dad. What is it about him. I am not taking sides, just want to understand. SHe may or may not go into detail. Either way, you could say, I know you don't want to really turn me against my Dad by saying all that kind of stuff, but I know nothing but what I can observe and I know something is seriously wrong. You may think it doesn't affect me, but it does. It really bothers me emotional Mom. I just want you to be happy and Dad too. If you are not happy being together, then having stayed together for my sake isn't helping me any. Just thought you might want to know. Its probably not my business but the emotional concerns i have are too heavy to bear in silence. Please know I still love you both and that will never change.

It is only a slight chance that pouring out your hearth and thoughts will have a positive response or no effect at all. More likely to receive an angry reaction towards you in response. After years of misery never being in love and being with the wrong person, mom could have shut down her positive emotions and only allows her negatives ones to flourish, her only release for her unhappiness as far as she thinks.
So in the end, even tho you get it off your chest, it will still have no effect. You might ask Dad alone why he still hangs around if the two of them dont get along. You could ask if its truly because of you kids cus you'd rather see him happy, or if its just financial reasons. Its hard to start a new life financially in a a bad economy, losing each others income may make it hard to find a place to live and that Would affect you for sure if they were to part ways today.

When I was a baby my mom used to run my chest to put me to sleep. When I was around two, I rubbed my chest to have comfort for sleep. My sister always teased me about it when I was younger.

I'm 15 now, almost 16. My parents have been fighting a lot.. but I've been waking up with my hand clasped over my breast.. is this a comfort thing?

Your subconscious mind is the one running things while you are asleep, it also controls your dreams, and it is where all your emotions are stored. So yes, it makes sense that your subconscious mind will cause you to do things while asleep, or even things u arent consciously aware of while awake, to help try bring you some comfort over the fact that the parents argue and fight. SO it makes sense. If its helping, then great. If not, you'll need to find your comfort else where. If you need to talk further about your worries about the parents, you can always write to me from my column. Wishing you the best.

So long story short, about two years ago I went on 3 dates with the man of my dreams.
Unfortunately it was a little bit of an LDR and I also wound up losing my job and fell into a bit of a depression and we just drifted apart. Not in a bad way, just like we stopped communicating. Funnily enough, I drove past him about three months ago on the interstate, he looked at me and I looked back at him and and I didn't know what to do, so I just kept driving. I think about the missed connection all the time and what could have been.

Tonight I logged onto the site I met him at and to my surprise he was online! Unfortunately I couldn't message him right away because it takes 48 hours for your profile to be approved but I have butterflies just thinking about it.

I really really liked the guy and had a lot of fun on our dates and things have totally changed for me since then. I'm in college now (I'm only 20) and working and I'm about to be on a two week break so it would be the perfect time to see him again.

My biggest worry is he won't be interested in seeing me again.
How can I ask him to see me again after what happened?
Should I tell him the truth and just say I want to see him again? That I've got my life all figured out now and tell him how much fun I had on our dates and hope he feels the same?

Also things get more complicated from here:
He's quite a bit older than me (though I like older men) and he's also much wealthier (I liked him for his personality though) I feel like I don't have much to offer him besides my youth and beauty until I graduate with my degree and get a really good job.

I don't want him to mistake me for a gold digger trying to get back with him to use him.

He was so handsome, funny and educated. When he met me I was only 19 and I feel like I've grown a lot more mature since then and I'm afraid he's going to remember the bad things about me. Like for instance I bragged on our first date about how good I was at wearing heels and then I fell right on my face in front of him.

I talked about stupid stuff and had really strong opinions back then on some things that I expressed with him. I was too scared to drive all the way to him so I made him drive to me all three times.

Aaaaah what do I do?

Yes, I agree, start small, ask how he is and that sort of thing and wehn he asks you, or if he doesn't you can just say Alot has changed for me too since we last talked. If in talking about himself he hasn't mentioned a relationship at all then at some point you'll need to ask.

Here's an example of how you could word it:

so, i wonder jeff, if you currently attached or single. I ask because I don't want to be intruding if there is someone and I'd like to meet you over a cup of coffee. It would be fun to go over old times. I did enjoy your friendship back then and still consider yuou the type of person worth having as a friend in my life.
the best marriages start with being each others best friend.
Once meeting as friends, it is easier to then confess you are curious to whether it could be more than friendship and that you are willing to give it a good try if he's willing.

Ever since I was in 8th grade I have developed feelings toward other guys that I grew to know. I just never told my feelings until I started 9th grade this past school year and I would attempt to be “affectionate” and it would overdo itself. I never really opened up to anyone with my true feelings except one person which I liked. I just never have done this sort of stuff and most of my “friends” think that it’s funny to judge me for how I felt about specific guys. Many people say that it’s okay to feel this way…. But those are girls . I don’t really enjoy hugging girls for a strange reason like I do guys because I just feel uncomfortable to do so because I always feel some pain from like jewelry or something on them that hurts. Hugging guys is more comfortable for me (really just straight guys) because they just don’t make me uncomfortable and they in all honestly have a body where I can just fall onto them and hug them. And in all honesty everyone that I’m not close friends with but are friends with think it’s weird. No kissing guys for me is weird for me because I never have personally done it with another guy but I have attempted and tried to but there isn’t really anyone that would like either do it either because they are straight or because I’m not a girl. Would it make you gay to kiss a guy that is straight? What is it even like kissing a guy? I honestly love the feeling of having a guy’s arms around my abdomen but it seems terrible. I don’t know honestly it takes a lot of courage to post this. I went for a bunch of 12th grade guys / seniors that graduated and I’m a 15 year old rising sophomore. Any advice or opinions are greatly appreciated .

You say that jewelry is the only problem with hugging a girl. Not all girls wear jewelry. I know a good amount of men who wear minimal jewelry all the time, like my husband. It may be something more. But i am not a professional so I can't tell you what, or why.
I do know that some teens by your age are pretty sure of what their gender is and how they feel most comfortable, defined sexually. But there are late bloomers physically so I suppose that can also apply to mentally,emotionally. And you may not in your mind have exactly figured out totally, the whole ball of wax yet. You have some inklings of what feels good to you or not. I would say, don't worry about having a label for yourself yet.You aren't even sexually active yet. When the time comes though, whether a girl or guy you are interested in, enjoy the experience. It is likely through your experiences that you will better be able to define exactly what you are. And there's nothing wrong with being gay, asexual, bi-sexual, or fluid gender or anything other i may not have mentioned. Its who you are. However, once u get to the point of knowing for sure where you are most comfortable, be open with any potential future partners as to how you roll. It is perfectly normal to be bisexual and prefer lots of different guys, but there is only one female you are attracted to the same way and no others, or vice versa, or you only are attracted to one of each gender and never any others.
So its nothing to be ashamed of. YOu are over thinking it. As for kissing, a kiss is the same whether from a male or female, a romantic kiss. Yes, I experienced that once, taken by surprise, not grossed out by it tho I am straight, just felt no response within to the gals kiss. So physically feels the same, but as to how it feels emotionally depends on your gender identification and much more.

Sigh, one over year ago against your advice here, I married my girlfriend. That was the beginning of hell. I have taken a loan of $40000 from her to sustain my ongoing business since our marriage. But ever since then, she has been hounding me for the money. Also, I notice she start nit picking on me cos I lied to her on many occasions. Why did I lie? Well, basically my spouse is not exactly a easy person to talk to. When I tell her the truth and it is something she doesn't like to hear or expect to hear, she will physically kick me, slap me or beat me. I always walk away cos as a guy if I were to retaliate, I WILL HURT HER. So, I chose to lie. But then, she will check on my phone, on me, call my customers and frds etc. She is distrusting towards me. She keep complaining how she use to lead a good life and ever since she married a good for nothing like me, she suffered a lot as she has never been poor before etc....mind you, I am the sole breadwinner of the family as she refuses to work and expects me to provide with everything and better still, a luxurious life. Last year alone, I spend more than a hundred thousand on her and the family. She just can't live thriftly. Now that I'm down and out, she is pressing me for her loan, threatening to take our son away and chase me and my daughter away. Constantly, I have to bear with her temper and the words that come out of her mouth?? Not for the ears....not to mention the constant physical beatings and kickings I have to take from her weekly. Everyday its the grumbling and stuff. When I ask her to get a job to help the family, I will be berated and insulted for a being a useless man who can't even afford to support his wife with nasty words and phrases coming out of her eg. Its my biggest mistake to marry u....u r the worse man I ever come across....all my previous bfs have never treated me like this and they all treat me better than u..u can die for all I care...take your useless bastard of a daughter away...if your daughter die ask her not to die at home...so on n forth..
Now I really need to know, should I walk away from tis marriage?? What should I do?? I suggested counselling but she refused saying counselling is stupid n she is right n do not need counselling. Pls help....wat should I do?? I'm really tired of her abuse. I love her a lot but she is never happy ir satisfied. She nitpicks on everything from shaving to the clothes I wear. I can't even choose wat shoes I like n if I ever go against her, whoo boy,all hell breaks loose. Tell me, should I leave her? I still owe her $60000 (she charges interest)

It may seem she is selectively only choosing you for now to physically and emotionally abuse and from what you see, it may be true....At The Moment. However an olive tree does not bear apples, and the same goes for what you see emanating from humans. If you something positive in them, theres more where it came from deep at their core, and the same goes for negative stuff. The anger and abuse she shows you is just but a glimpse of a whole lot more of the same where it came from, more anger and abusive behavior lying in wait to surface at whatever to her will trigger it and not just at you but others, even ... your son. It would not be a good life for him if she were to treat your own flessh and blood son that way. You know what its doing to you.
Walk away? Without a divorce? I don't know. You may want to talk to a lawyer about your options and hopefully it includes the welfare of your son.
First she'd have to be found unsuitable as a mother and wife due to her mental issues. Its very likely that she may even have something a psychologist could label.
Unfortunately, the only kind of proof these days that is most condemning and will actually get you somewhere legally is visual proof. Bruises she leaves on your body may be something you want to go to visit a police station about. have them take photos of it, make a paper trail of your in person complaints to them of what has been going on. This helps legally later.
I can only think of one more thing. A teen girl who was consistantly physcially abused by her dad. Had no proof until she set up her computers cam to record it all as she heard him raging as he approached her room. Sure enough, she had video imaging as proof that he was treating her like this. I guess too many thought she was exaggerating. It was her last but best resort. I only hear your side of the story. While there may be nothing you do intentionally, there could be things that are grievious circumstances that you do without being aware of it. Cus if you do decide to tape her attacking her, she'll come back digging up dirt on you too.
If you were to go for a divorce and try to get custody of the child,thats one thing. I know you worry over her suing to get 60,000 from you in a settlement. With proof of how she's been abusing you, including police reports before the video taping, you could counter sue for the same amount for emotional damage. People have won that in court before. The better the proof, the better chance of winning. So you could in the end come even. I only share such an outrageous option as this because of the welfare of that baby. Otherwise, yes, you could just walk away.

My name is Rachel and iam 26 years old and I have lived in Georgia most of my life. I moved here when I was 2liitle months old. My mom has beers now and theyI n sick for almost 5 years now they think that she might have Parkinson's disease but they still don't know for sure. She falls alot sometimes she has to walk with 2 canes if she dosnt use a wheelchair. She gets mad easier than she did before she got sick. She wants to be with her family in Oaklahoma but my heart is here in Georgia but she says that she dosnt want to go without me and I understand that but everything that I know and love is in Georgia. My mom says if I don't go and keep her here that i am selfish. My mom is raising two of my her grandkids and she says if I don't go and she has to go in the nursing home ot will be my fault if she commits suicide and the kids don't have anyone to take care of them because my sister won't. I dont know what to do please

Its not you being selfish but your mother for expecting you to move because she wants to. A terminally ill person or one with a slow but degenerative disease can become very unreasonable as they get worse, partly due to not being able to do what she could before becoming ill. Your life is yours to live.
In moms state, you should not longer expect her to watch your kids. Even if she stays in Georgia, you can't let being a single parent or any other such situation, even financial ones, allow you to continue using mom for care, no matter how much she says she can and wants to. It is an added stress she can't handle. As mom progresses, she will become very angry and verbally abusive all the time. Not all people do...some suffer in silence. But since she's doing it now, it WILL get worse and you don't want your kids to have to experience hating going to grandma's cus all she does is yell at them, and belittle them.
You can't help that she is ill, but you can help yur kids not have to go thru that.
If you are low income, husband or not, single mom,, there should be some help you can qualify for. Check with your local department of social and health services and they should be able to point you in the right direction for childcare. Other single moms without family to rely on have for eons, had to find someone to watch their children whom they could trust.

Okay, now on to the next clalim of Mom's. If she has something where she consistantly loses more and more ability to see after her own care, then it will be too much for even an untrained relatiive to handle, in Oklahoma, even if they give up their life and job to become her fulltime caregiver. Yes, family can get paid by the state to become the caregiver of a family member. But relatives would have to check if that applies in Oklahoma, and care givers do not get paid much so they will be on a very tight income too if they were even willing to try. A nursing home is likely where mom will end up in the end anyhow, no matter which state she is living in. There is no way it could ever be your fault that she has to go in a nursing home. this is her anger talking, anger that she is ill. Perhaps Drs will find out soon what it is but likely they can't stop it anymore than you can be staying or going. What you do, is not going to change whatever fate has in store for her. It already sounds like she is expecting you to become her full time caregiver if need be with no prospect of a regular job, getting ahead, ever having time for a boyfriend or husband. Suicide also can not be blamed on anyone else. But it sounds like she already knows how to pull the 'guilt' strings and has your emotions in a tizzy over it. She may want to be in Oklahoma with family but is that family willing to become her total care wehn she insists on not going into a nursing home?

Do not fall for the guilt trip she is trying to lay on you. She may be your mother and so you may feel you owe her more because of that. But know that she will do the same with any relative she comes into contact with. She playing the ultimatum game and saying she'll stay here if you dont move, is just another emotional manipulation of hers and unfair, even if she is mom.

If you think it may just be short term care, remember, doctors arent still sure what she has and she needs now to decide where she's gonna live and gather the medical team who will be working to help her. I was a caregiver for a while and sent on many fill in jobs. Heres just one example of what yu could be getting into with mom. I went one day a week to give a wife a few hours to get away so she could grocery shop or take a walk. SHe was her husbands caregiver full time. He had a rare disease I can't even remember the name of but it involved a very slow loss of motor functions. It was a 2nd marriage, meeting when they were late 30s early 40s and almost immediately he began to have symptoms, it was discovered it is a genetic illness passed down in the family and others of siblings were checked and all but one had the illness. I knew him only at the end, wheel chair bound, on a feeding tube. Mind still sharp but his speech as bad as that of serious stroke victims, so garbled it was hard to understand him. He needed some many things monitored for him and some one had to be there to call 911 if he took a quick turn for the worse. He had b een that way for about 25 years before he finally passed away. In case what your mom has is something like that, it wouldn't be so hard to help her in the beginning, but once she's got you doing it, she will complain she doesnt want a stranger and eventually you'll become her care 24/7 with only a couple hours respite for yourself a day or two a week. It would be unfair even early on to the children to not have your full attention.
If the situation is that she is legally the kids guardian, then when she has her prognosis, it all depends but the state may no longer allow her to watch the children if she is unable to or hampered in some ways by illness. the children would go to you another relative or the courts would send them to foster care. If she's legally their guardian, it doesn't matter agan where she lives, this situation, even if you move with her is going to happen in OK or in GA.

So decide to go to OK only if you really want to, and not because mom wants to.
It might be best for your own mental health to be apart from mom so she can no longer manipulate you as easily as she does now. I am sorry she is ill but that is no reason to expect her child to give her next 25 years or so to taking care of her.

I im from Texas . my name is well ... that doesn't really matter . I've been sexually touched by 3 family members in my whole life .it all started when I was 2 . my mom even cried when she heard she was having a girl I was the accident child. every close relationship I have with a male gender , I always let them sexual touch me because im to scared to say anything . one of them lives in my house and they sexually touch me . I try myself to sleep . I have cuts all over me . I hate my body . I wish someone knew . I wish I would open my mouth ... but im scared . I don't want to live in a world where kids get abusive . because I was that girl . people might say I deserved it but I didn't . I was only 14 years old and I was only Abby .

I don't know if mom knows whats happening and allows it or if she has no idea its happening. But as a mom of a daughter who became depressed as a teen and hid it well...non of the usual symptoms, and later made a bad choice being alone with a much older guy who raped her, I never learned of it until she was in her mid twenties and told me. If she had decided to commit suicide, it would have killed something inside me. I might still be alive but no longer living life, always hating myself for not having seen, or known even if I tried to be more nosy, I would feel guilt the rest of my life and might never recover. I know that in many cases, a child commiting suicide breaks up even good marriages as the blame game rages.
Nothing is accomplishes other than temporary relief for you and then, viola...you reincarnate into another life where you might have to face the very same thing again, to learn how to speak up for yourself the moment it happens and if someone doesnt take you seriously, you keep telling more people until some one comes to your rescue.
So you die, no longer miseerable, but now your mother is, for the rest of her life. If she isn't in on this and allowing it to happen, then she as an innocent will hurt to her dying day.

I am just trying to put things in perspective, not take the focus off of you dear. But you must realize what else happens if you say nothing about the abuse and just kill yourself. Unfortunately, there is no one would can make this sexual abuse known but you. If Mom is also guilty in soome way, dad, brothers, uncles, other males renting and living in the house, then CPS, might have to find a safe place to move you to, worst case scenerio. And those who are doing the abuse, may have as kids been abused the same way and it gives them no excuse but they may need counseling help they will never get if you don't tell authorities. You must tell a teacher or school counselor. Call 911 if you feel like commiting suicide dear, but it really isn't the answer. Your cutting and hating yourself is a normal reaction for someone going through what you do. I won't even address any of that right now cus the proper help for those issues will come from the professionals once they are aware of what is going on.
Not all male family members are typically like this. We live in a harsh, often evil world, but there is good in it still, just sad that you have lived your entire life getting all the bad. Right now you have to take the first step, then once an adult calls the authorities on your behalf, you only need to allow them to help you. Yes, you will require lots of counseling just to have as normal a life as you can later. Any kind of abuse, mine all verbal abuse, still has its affects on the mind and a person will need counseling. A friend can't help unless you ask them to tell the school counselor because yur too emotional to do so yourself but you go along with her.

I am a guy and this past November I did some experimenting with other guys. Okay one guy. I got the nerve to tell him how I felt and all of my other questions regarding guys is directed at him directly. I was close friends with him and still am to this very day. I finally got the nerve to tell him how I felt about him and I hugged him all the time like a relationship based hug and it was like a boyfriend girlfriend type hug but like everytime I would go to do it I would get scared and nervous to go in and do it and nobody judged us but at the same time he is straight. There was an occasion where I was crying and he grabbed me around my stomach and gave me a hugeee bear hug where he dragged me, danced with me in his arms even though I wouldn’t do it too and I liked it but I just could never do it to him. I attempted to kiss him but I wouldn’t tell go for it also. Like am I shy or something? I am a 15 year old male

I can't say you are typically a shy person unless you act this way in other areas of life.
You did say he was straight. Youre not or bi. so what its gonna take is havin a talk with him and finding out what his boundaries are. What is he comfortable with and at what exact scenerio does it cross the line and make him uncomfortable.
I would hope you have enough trust in your friend to do so. You may have to spell out scenerios, describing in detail for him to picture in his mind before he'll have a clue if he is comfortable or not. And on some things, he may not know until it happens. Give him permission to do so as it occurs so that you can back off immediately. Unless your friend happens to be bi sexual when he actual thinks he's just straight, then there really is no chance of you ever having a full blown relationship with sex there. You may not be actually looking for that much right now, but even the little you mentioned and how wonderful it feels, is like a two edged sword. On the other side is him dating and having those same kinds of feelings with a girl and you seeing that will hurt. It will just hurt a lot worse if you began to rely on him for this kind of reward and later, it goes only to a girl or he doesnt wnat to freak her out by her witnessing how you two act around each other. Not saying any of it is improper, in many foreign countries, men kiss each other, its the custom and they are heterosexual general who practice this type of greeting. Just try to not get too emotionally involved to avoid feeling hurt later.

I know it sounds weird 😔 btw I'm a 16 year old girl. the story is that this guy starting texting me a couple months ago and asked me out only like a week after we basically just met. I declined because I just got out of a relationship and I didny really know him. After I said no we still talked a lot and now we talk basically everyday. So recently I've found myself thinking about him a lot but I try to stop myself from catching feelings. My friends know that we talk but they always say rude stuff about him and now I'm scared to tell them how I feel because they think he's weird. But a lot of people also say that this guy and I would be cute together. So I guess the question is what do I do? Should I let myself like him or move on. Also should I tell my friends how I feel? Please help! Sorry it's long but it's hard to explain lol

Lets say your favorite color is red, and you like wearing pumps instead of sneakers with pants or jeans, so you do it. Most people are saying Red doesnt look good on you, or wearing pumps makes you look weird. Would you stop wearing what you want to wear because some have negative comments. Remember, they are sharing out of what they themselves like and are comfortable with.

Think hard now. If you were influenced for whatever reason to listen to them, you are doing what even some adults still do, change what they like or do, or never even try because of a fear of how others are going to react. I understand wanting to be liked and accepted. But if a person were not to accept you because of something you chose, a color shoes, a person, then their friendship is very shallow to non existant and conditional. A true friend will allow you to be yourself, to have your own likes and differences and still like you and accept you just as you are. Unfortunately during teen and early 20s even, people can be quite immature in their reasoning. So....you will have to learn to ignore them.

Now, on the other hand, you have some people telling you that they think the two of you would look cute together. Lets go back to the example of a pair of red pumps. These people think red shoes like that on you are very cute. YOu look cute. Nothing wrong with that. But shoes are a thing, an item, a human being is not. So really, what comes into play that you must ask yourself, is this: Do I really care about him as a person, enjoy his friendship and want to spend time with him, or would I rather consider him as something to add to my wardrobe, so I can LOOK CUTE, and gain admiration of some out there, gain status, feel like I am socially part of the 'in crowd'.

In that, you would be using him as a tool to gain the love and acceptance among people rather than wanting him for himself. I hope you understand I am not saying you are that shallow. You just hadn't thought of how subtlely something like this can be picked up by the boy. Perhaps he would not feel special enough to you and feel more like he is being shown off, like a new garment. And I am sure you dont want to hurt him that way. It is the feelings and reasons in your heart when you take any action in life, not just choosing a boyfriend that will speak as loudly as spoken words. Humans have the ability to pick up on the invisible, the intent, your true feelings, all carry negative or positive energies and that is what people will respond to.
So if you like the guy, like him for the right reasons. If you need help sorting out things in your mind, just write to me from my column and be as specific about what is going on, just in case I totally missed your intent with this question.

My boyfriend and I have been together for year, he said on out second year he was going to purpose to me. I just want to know if its legal in the state of Georgia to get ENGAGED (not married)?

A person can be engaged indefinately as it is not a legal contract. I guess it depends on your intent, do you intend to have a very long term engagement, or do you actually desire to marry before you turn 18 and can do so as an adult now?

You should require no permission for getting engaged. However in Georgia, there are laws that will allow a 16 year old to marry but only with parents permission, with only a few exceptions. See the following link for Georgia law on that:

http://statelaws.findlaw.com/georgia-law/georgia-marriage-age-requirements-laws.html

I feel much the same though as adviceman for the same reasons, at 16, 18, 20 or sometimes even into early twenties, a marriage is not likely to last. On your end of it, being once the same age, I can remember feeling like I knew everything and while I was a lot more mature than my peers/others my age, I can see in looking back, that maturity didn't save me from making bad decisions based on inexperience, or being naive. There is a lot to say for the experiences over time.

Another thing I wish to mention is that a certain part of the brain in young people, the frontal lobe, is not going to be done growing until you reach into your mid 20's or beyond. No big thing? Not really, because the lack of a completely mature frontal lobe means a person's reasoning and decision making is severely affected in the negative. But I suppose that is something you are going to have to learn the hard way if you marry early as I did. I married at 20 and it was still a grave mistake. The nice church going guy I married was totally wrong for me in so many ways and not only that, the stress of having to be an adult, marriage, etc... brought out mental illness in him, undiagnosed and I was an abused wife for many years. No, that might not happen to you.
If you decide you want to be engaged for two years and marry once you turn 18, that works legally. If you want to actually marry beforehand, you'd better hope the parents think very highly of him and will support you marrying a few years earlier. You have about 10 years to go before your mind is likely to have the decision making abilities of a mature adult. So making any big life decisions like this needs a mature brain and thats where your parents come in.

My dog has a weird skin tag off his back leg. When he was running around he accidentally caught it,then it started to bleed. What should i do?

Skin tags on people have a blood connection to them, i would think it would be the same for animals, if indeed it was a skin tag. As long as a vet has seen your dog and pronounced any tags or lumps to be non cancerous, you should have nothing to worry about. As with any wound, applying pressure to make the bleeding stop is what should be done. If this is not a mere crumb sized skin tag but an actual larger piece of skin ripped from the body, I am no vet or Dr and neither are you, for all I know, the wound may be large enough to require a couple stitches and it would be best to have a professional look to make sure no other foreign objects, dirt, etc...got into the wound. It is probably for the best to take the dog to the vet.

I am a sophomore in college, and I am also working full time.

I am the object of taunts in school and at work. The funny thing is that I don't really talk to anyone in both places, so I don't know what their problem is. I don't bother anyone (or maybe I do since they seem to always want to start crap with me).

I could just be walking to class and someone would yell out things. They're usually about my appearance, but the most common thing besides that is "slut". Same thing at work.

I don't dress slutty or anything, and I've been with my current boyfriend for three years.

What should I do? Is there something wrong with me?

There was even one time at work where it got so bad I went to management, and the girl got fired.

I find it odd that you are experiencing middle school and HS behavior at college and at work.
Let me guess, the people doing so are all near your age, not older like 40's and older, right?
I also wonder how many guys are actually calling you slut. See, it goes against the male objective if he is physically attracted to you. Calling you names won't earn him a chance to date you or if he has ulterior motives, to find a new sex partner.

Now I can somewhat believe just young women doing this, not ones with boyfriends, but the single ones who may be very jealous of your looks. We never think of ourselves as being extremely beautiful, hot, sexy, or such but if others see you as such then this could be a likely reason why they act this way. A pretty girl, one who even tho she doesnt think so, and is quite a lot prettier than the other girls, will earn the jealousy, envy of the immature females. What they don't realize yet is that carrying self confidence will put them in the same level as the model type girl with no personality so they actually do really have a chance with guys. But until they figure that out if they ever do, they will always view certain females as competition, yes, even tho you have a boyfriend, or at least until they get quite a bit older and more mature.

There is one more thing I can think of, since you mentioned you do not dress like you're advertising, and that would be something like self confidence, a thing that isn't tangible but other people can pick up on the presence of. That would be an air of sensuality, sexuality that radiates out from you, even tho you are not purposely trying to flirt, or entice men. I should know. I am a Scorpio and we're are known to have that as a trait. Its always there even tho I am not aware of it, not even trying. Its been there all my life. No, I do not look like a model, but this air of sexuality, even as a teen, when I was a virgin, was there like a beckoning light to guys and they were so attracted they'd do things to let me know they were attracted, slap my bottom, trail fingers across my shoulders and down an arm as they passed me, and such. I am now in my 50s, half my long hair is silver, I have wrinkles, dress cute, but average and yet I still exude that sexuality. And though happily married, I still attract the looks and attention of men and I am not even trying to. At my age, other women no longer care or see my as competition. But even if not Scorpio, you may exude that air of sexuality whether you know it or not, and I'm afraid theres no way to turn if off, none I've ever come to know of. This could be another reason this is happening. So I would also say, knowing this, you know likely it has nothing to do with you as person, your character or personality but more to do with female jealousy. Even if most men still aren't aware of you in that way...if this is the cause of it, it should hit them hard by time you reach your early 30's, as when it finally became very obvious to me. So ignore the most of it. Only if it is extreme, do not hesitate to mention to school official if it interferes with your ability to concentrate in class or boss if it interferes with your ability to do your work. Good luck dear.

I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of everyone in my life. My family is mean to me. People at school are mean to me, especially the stereotypical high school girls that dress all provocative say mean things about me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no where near ugly. I actually think I'm quite attractive yet I can't find any guy that likes me for me.I feel like I'm such an annoying person. I'm a burden to everybody that enters my life and nobody even likes me. I've talked to the guidance counselor in my school but she hasn't help me at all at feeling better. It seems as if she thinks I deserve all of this mistreatment. I'm a nice person. I care about people and listen to their problems. Yet when I begin to talk about my feelings or problems two people that I trust always say 'here we go again' or they judge me. I don't know what's wrong with me that people see fit to treat me this way. I guess it's because I'm shy and kept to myself. I don't really even know. I want to end it all already. Everybody will be happier if I am. All of these people that say they care are probably just saying that just to try to make me happy but lying to me will just make me even sadder. I practically drove away my best friend. I sent her a mean message and I wasn't exactly thinking about it but once it was sent I regretted it. She said she understood that I just wanted some space but I think I've lost the only person that actually wanted to be around me. I've lost everybody that I either cared about or loved. I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I just feel empty and worthless. Nobodies ever cared. Nobody has cared and nobody ever will care about the quiet loner that rarely shows emotion but is going through a whirlwind of feelings crashing inside of them. I want to die. The person that I needed the most will probably be the most happy if I'm gone. After all I seems to bother him all the time and doubt his intentions and feelings. I can't trust anyone anymore. When I turned to god I felt like he wasn't listening or being there for me. I know that god only gives me what he knows I can handle but I'm breaking more and more day in and day out each day. I'm no suicidal just lonely and without a purpose. I can't make people happy. All I do is annoy then and push them away. Nobody loves me or likes me or cares. I'm done with everybody and their mean remarks. Hopefully once I die I'll be in a better place. I want to die now that is. I'm exhausted of it all. I want to find that special someone that can make me happy already because I don't think that I can do it anymore.

Hello dear,
I have to agree with adviceman, a school guidance counselor is not the one to help you. Perhaps she doesnt understand the extent of your issues as she should have referred you to professional help by now. Since she hasn't, let your parents know whats going on inside. As a parent of a clinically depressed daughter, she suffered through depression as a teen and let me tell you I was a very observant mom and had long private convo's with each child as they were growing up. I knew what the signs of depressions were, and didn't see any. She hid it well in trying to fix herself and remain in control. However add in postpartum depression after having a baby in later years and she could no longer hide it and was asking for help and confessing to me. So do not think that your parents can automatically know how things are going. If however they don't take you seriously, you need to get your own help. Call 911 or follow any of the other suggestions advice man gave you. I will say as a once caregiver of a mentally disabled patient, I know that in some cases, the police or fire people who arrive may not take you in to get help unless you are saying you ARE contemplating suicide. If not looking obviously suicidal, they may not take you to get help. My client was merely extremely upset due to a lot of life situations that added up all at once and she had called 911 shortly before I arrived for my shift and I was usually able to calm her down and handle the things she couldn't, one reason I was there. So even if you are sure you couldn't kill yourself, but you dont want to live, it still is the same issue with the same causes behind it, however you may want to say you are suicidal if it fails the first time. That will definitely get you put in touch with a doctor.

I am guessing that you are female based on your talk of female friends. When you get a chance to be checked out by a doctor, not just mental health, but physical issues should be checked as well.

There is besides teen depression another thing that is becoming more common due to our toxic planet, that is affecting teen girls in puberty or during teen years, and that has to do with the amount of female hormones in their body. Before their body began to release hormones at puberty, their bodies already had fairly high amounts of the synthetic female hormones that we pick up from contact in our environment from birth to teens. Add in the release of lots more at puberty and that is overload. This overload causes all sorts of problems,and can be easily fixed by a Dr. with medication for only during the time you need it, during the teen years.So you'd need to ask to have your hormone levels checked. Especially if you didn't have these issues before you hit puberty, as an older child. The abnormally high hormones can usher in depression and be the main cause behind it, can alter your entire personality, cause you to be extremely mean or angry towards someone even if they did nothing to earn it, become so weepy and sad or very upset all the time. This can change your behavior sooo much that family and friends want to avoid you because to be truthful, it is not pleasant being around someone like that. In your case, it isn't really who you are, something is causing this so its best to find out what, have that issue addressed so you can become your cheery self and have people wanting to be around you again. Good luck dear. If you need to talk to a mother figure, you can always write to me, but I can't replace a Dr. or mental health counselor.

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