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Abuse emotionally, physically and mentally
Sigh, one over year ago against your advice here, I married my girlfriend. That was the beginning of hell. I have taken a loan of $40000 from her to sustain my ongoing business since our marriage. But ever since then, she has been hounding me for the money. Also, I notice she start nit picking on me cos I lied to her on many occasions. Why did I lie? Well, basically my spouse is not exactly a easy person to talk to. When I tell her the truth and it is something she doesn't like to hear or expect to hear, she will physically kick me, slap me or beat me. I always walk away cos as a guy if I were to retaliate, I WILL HURT HER. So, I chose to lie. But then, she will check on my phone, on me, call my customers and frds etc. She is distrusting towards me. She keep complaining how she use to lead a good life and ever since she married a good for nothing like me, she suffered a lot as she has never been poor before etc....mind you, I am the sole breadwinner of the family as she refuses to work and expects me to provide with everything and better still, a luxurious life. Last year alone, I spend more than a hundred thousand on her and the family. She just can't live thriftly. Now that I'm down and out, she is pressing me for her loan, threatening to take our son away and chase me and my daughter away. Constantly, I have to bear with her temper and the words that come out of her mouth?? Not for the ears....not to mention the constant physical beatings and kickings I have to take from her weekly. Everyday its the grumbling and stuff. When I ask her to get a job to help the family, I will be berated and insulted for a being a useless man who can't even afford to support his wife with nasty words and phrases coming out of her eg. Its my biggest mistake to marry u....u r the worse man I ever come across....all my previous bfs have never treated me like this and they all treat me better than u..u can die for all I care...take your useless bastard of a daughter away...if your daughter die ask her not to die at home...so on n forth..
Now I really need to know, should I walk away from tis marriage?? What should I do?? I suggested counselling but she refused saying counselling is stupid n she is right n do not need counselling. Pls help....wat should I do?? I'm really tired of her abuse. I love her a lot but she is never happy ir satisfied. She nitpicks on everything from shaving to the clothes I wear. I can't even choose wat shoes I like n if I ever go against her, whoo boy,all hell breaks loose. Tell me, should I leave her? I still owe her $60000 (she charges interest)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
It may seem she is selectively only choosing you for now to physically and emotionally abuse and from what you see, it may be true....At The Moment. However an olive tree does not bear apples, and the same goes for what you see emanating from humans. If you something positive in them, theres more where it came from deep at their core, and the same goes for negative stuff. The anger and abuse she shows you is just but a glimpse of a whole lot more of the same where it came from, more anger and abusive behavior lying in wait to surface at whatever to her will trigger it and not just at you but others, even ... your son. It would not be a good life for him if she were to treat your own flessh and blood son that way. You know what its doing to you.
Walk away? Without a divorce? I don't know. You may want to talk to a lawyer about your options and hopefully it includes the welfare of your son.
First she'd have to be found unsuitable as a mother and wife due to her mental issues. Its very likely that she may even have something a psychologist could label.
Unfortunately, the only kind of proof these days that is most condemning and will actually get you somewhere legally is visual proof. Bruises she leaves on your body may be something you want to go to visit a police station about. have them take photos of it, make a paper trail of your in person complaints to them of what has been going on. This helps legally later.
I can only think of one more thing. A teen girl who was consistantly physcially abused by her dad. Had no proof until she set up her computers cam to record it all as she heard him raging as he approached her room. Sure enough, she had video imaging as proof that he was treating her like this. I guess too many thought she was exaggerating. It was her last but best resort. I only hear your side of the story. While there may be nothing you do intentionally, there could be things that are grievious circumstances that you do without being aware of it. Cus if you do decide to tape her attacking her, she'll come back digging up dirt on you too.
If you were to go for a divorce and try to get custody of the child,thats one thing. I know you worry over her suing to get 60,000 from you in a settlement. With proof of how she's been abusing you, including police reports before the video taping, you could counter sue for the same amount for emotional damage. People have won that in court before. The better the proof, the better chance of winning. So you could in the end come even. I only share such an outrageous option as this because of the welfare of that baby. Otherwise, yes, you could just walk away.
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