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How to kill your self
I im from Texas . my name is well ... that doesn't really matter . I've been sexually touched by 3 family members in my whole life .it all started when I was 2 . my mom even cried when she heard she was having a girl I was the accident child. every close relationship I have with a male gender , I always let them sexual touch me because im to scared to say anything . one of them lives in my house and they sexually touch me . I try myself to sleep . I have cuts all over me . I hate my body . I wish someone knew . I wish I would open my mouth ... but im scared . I don't want to live in a world where kids get abusive . because I was that girl . people might say I deserved it but I didn't . I was only 14 years old and I was only Abby .
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You listen to me don't kill yourself if you live you can fi d love and It will cure everything. I to have been touched. My uncle is gay so he has a boyfriend who was drunk when I spent the night at his house. He told me to take a bath with him and said no and he yelled get in and got in. He pinched me rubbed me and rubbed his
... On my back I never told anyone but him because my parents would kill him. He was only drunk so I told him and he cried and apologized. The difference between us is your being molested purposely get out of there find a new family and live life. Don't commit suicide please I'm begging you
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I don't know if mom knows whats happening and allows it or if she has no idea its happening. But as a mom of a daughter who became depressed as a teen and hid it well...non of the usual symptoms, and later made a bad choice being alone with a much older guy who raped her, I never learned of it until she was in her mid twenties and told me. If she had decided to commit suicide, it would have killed something inside me. I might still be alive but no longer living life, always hating myself for not having seen, or known even if I tried to be more nosy, I would feel guilt the rest of my life and might never recover. I know that in many cases, a child commiting suicide breaks up even good marriages as the blame game rages.
Nothing is accomplishes other than temporary relief for you and then, viola...you reincarnate into another life where you might have to face the very same thing again, to learn how to speak up for yourself the moment it happens and if someone doesnt take you seriously, you keep telling more people until some one comes to your rescue.
So you die, no longer miseerable, but now your mother is, for the rest of her life. If she isn't in on this and allowing it to happen, then she as an innocent will hurt to her dying day.
I am just trying to put things in perspective, not take the focus off of you dear. But you must realize what else happens if you say nothing about the abuse and just kill yourself. Unfortunately, there is no one would can make this sexual abuse known but you. If Mom is also guilty in soome way, dad, brothers, uncles, other males renting and living in the house, then CPS, might have to find a safe place to move you to, worst case scenerio. And those who are doing the abuse, may have as kids been abused the same way and it gives them no excuse but they may need counseling help they will never get if you don't tell authorities. You must tell a teacher or school counselor. Call 911 if you feel like commiting suicide dear, but it really isn't the answer. Your cutting and hating yourself is a normal reaction for someone going through what you do. I won't even address any of that right now cus the proper help for those issues will come from the professionals once they are aware of what is going on.
Not all male family members are typically like this. We live in a harsh, often evil world, but there is good in it still, just sad that you have lived your entire life getting all the bad. Right now you have to take the first step, then once an adult calls the authorities on your behalf, you only need to allow them to help you. Yes, you will require lots of counseling just to have as normal a life as you can later. Any kind of abuse, mine all verbal abuse, still has its affects on the mind and a person will need counseling. A friend can't help unless you ask them to tell the school counselor because yur too emotional to do so yourself but you go along with her.
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Don't do it. Don't do it, please.
At this very moment, there is one girl who killed herself because of the sexual abuse she gets from her male family and friends. Do you still want to continue? Do you want to increase the number of girls who didn't want to see the beauty of life?
Abby, you're scared. You are depressed. And, you need help.
For a 14 year old girl like you who is sexually abused by your blood related folks, is already common in the society. People who tend to do this immaturity must be put to jail immediately. Why? Because if they continue doing things like this to you, what if they will do this to your child. Would you like to see her cry every night and day because she can't tell you about this? Would you still let her be abused by your family members? NO!
Don't hate your body because you have a great body. Don't tell yourself that everything you have is ugly because there's nothing ugly about it. Stop cutting yourself because you are also the one who is harming and destroying it. Accident child? You are not an accident. If you are, she aborted you a long time ago. I know she loves you. She's very precious to you I'll tell you that. Because if she doesn't, she doesn't deserve to have an amazing, brave, teenage girl like you.
Do you want to stop this misery? I do also.
Don't be scared to tell someone what you are suffering right now. If it's your best friend, your teacher, or someone who you think can help you, then spill it out. If you don't tell them what you feel, this feeling can hunt you forever. It's best that you call 911 for help.
And it's not only them who needs help, dear. You also.
You need to seek help. Ask yourself, "Why do I let this men touch me?" and "Why am I wasting my time crying and being silent with my situation instead of living happily with my mother and friends?"
You said that you don't want to live in a world where kids get abused, but why are you letting them touch you?
I know you are brave. And I'm sure you will do all of the things I'll say. But no matter what I advice to you, you are still the one who is going to help with your life. It's up to you if you tell and stop being quiet about it, or still let them continue this devilish acts that they are doing to you.
Abby, everyone loves you. And there's this particular person who wants to help you and be with you. By the end of the day, I know that you will never let this bad things happen to your life. If they still hunt you, pray everyday to Jesus. I'm sure that he will help you with all of your problems. Make sure that you tell him all of the things that's bothering you and that you need his help. Tell it with all of your heart.
Don't waste your time thinking how to kill yourself, Abby. Because nobody wants to be put in to hell.
From your imaginary friend,
The LittleWoman
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You need to tell someone! Holding this secret in is just going to cause you stress and make you feel guilty. Find a trustworthy adult in your life, like a friends parents, a counselor, or a close teacher. Even if your scared of telling someone, it isn't worth getting abused and feeling insecure about yourself. When your 14, you need to feel confident and sure of what you do. And you should never feel bad about your body. Try talking to a close friend, everyone feels that way. And you shouldn't be scared! You should be more scared of keeping it a secret!
-CaptinCay
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