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Am I shy or something? Am I weird?
I am a guy and this past November I did some experimenting with other guys. Okay one guy. I got the nerve to tell him how I felt and all of my other questions regarding guys is directed at him directly. I was close friends with him and still am to this very day. I finally got the nerve to tell him how I felt about him and I hugged him all the time like a relationship based hug and it was like a boyfriend girlfriend type hug but like everytime I would go to do it I would get scared and nervous to go in and do it and nobody judged us but at the same time he is straight. There was an occasion where I was crying and he grabbed me around my stomach and gave me a hugeee bear hug where he dragged me, danced with me in his arms even though I wouldn’t do it too and I liked it but I just could never do it to him. I attempted to kiss him but I wouldn’t tell go for it also. Like am I shy or something? I am a 15 year old male
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I can't say you are typically a shy person unless you act this way in other areas of life.
You did say he was straight. Youre not or bi. so what its gonna take is havin a talk with him and finding out what his boundaries are. What is he comfortable with and at what exact scenerio does it cross the line and make him uncomfortable.
I would hope you have enough trust in your friend to do so. You may have to spell out scenerios, describing in detail for him to picture in his mind before he'll have a clue if he is comfortable or not. And on some things, he may not know until it happens. Give him permission to do so as it occurs so that you can back off immediately. Unless your friend happens to be bi sexual when he actual thinks he's just straight, then there really is no chance of you ever having a full blown relationship with sex there. You may not be actually looking for that much right now, but even the little you mentioned and how wonderful it feels, is like a two edged sword. On the other side is him dating and having those same kinds of feelings with a girl and you seeing that will hurt. It will just hurt a lot worse if you began to rely on him for this kind of reward and later, it goes only to a girl or he doesnt wnat to freak her out by her witnessing how you two act around each other. Not saying any of it is improper, in many foreign countries, men kiss each other, its the custom and they are heterosexual general who practice this type of greeting. Just try to not get too emotionally involved to avoid feeling hurt later.
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Your not shy! It just seems like your just scared of opening up to others about this other side to your personality that you've never fully explored before! I have friends who went through the same problem and they just needed to talk it out before they were comfortable enough to express their feelings through physical means. And maybe your still secretly scared that this friend won't be as comfortable as you are, or that the people around you are secretly judging you.
-CaptinCay
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