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How To Deal With Everything
People shouldn't get abused .
its not right ... this world is so cruel .
I've been sexually abused all of my life . The thing that kinda kills me the most is that it was my own Father . man I swear I talk way to much . I have such a big mouth for the wrong reason ... I know I need to tell someone .
but im to scared I wish someone could do it for me ... but I know I have to .
and you cant help someone who wont help themselves... man sometimes I feel like just ending it all already and just commit suicide .
I cut myself do everything and cry but I just cant keep myself together . I hate my self my body . it's all my fault .
- just a stupid 14 year old girl who let people touch her because she was to scared to ever say anything .
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Hi! First off don't ever think this is your fault....EVER! There's not much I can tell you besides ask for help! You need to get your voice out there to any trusted adult. This could be your mom, a consular, a teacher etc. You also should not be embarrassed to tell anyone, because there could be someone out there that went through what you are going through right now. I hope this helps
-Swimmer133
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Sweetie it's not your fault that your father was abusing you it was his because he has no respect and he doesn't know what it means to be a father. You shouldn't try to commit suicide just because of that. Don't be scared to stand up for yourself because if you don't he will keep on hurting you. Show him that you are not afraid of him and that you are strong.Dont cry for someone that has been abusing you he doesn't deserve your tears and don't cut your beautiful skin.I know it's awful but keep your precious life together it's worth it and it will get better if you stand up for yourself. Keep yourself distracted do something that makes you happy.Talk to someone that will listen to you and help you. You are a beautiful young girl that has a whole life ahead of her so don't lose it just because of an abusive person I don't even consider him to be your father because he has no respect or responsibility.So Be strong and don't let anyone touch you I hope everything gets better.
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I highly recommend seeing a therapist. You are having suicide thought, depression, and are being sexually abused. That's pretty big stuff, way to big for anyone to have to deal with, especially a 14 year old girl. See a therapist and tell someone. I know you don't want to, but in life we always have to do things we don't want to do. It's ok to be scared. I mean, wouldn't everyone?
You're right. The world is cruel. But if you take your own life, you would just leave it that way. While you are here, why not make this world beautiful? Maybe if you focus on the positive aspects of the world (music, tumblr, cats) it would help the negative seem smaller. Change your surroundings. I'm no professional, but this might even help your depression.
You're beautiful, and this isn't at all your fault.
-just a 14 year old girl who cares about you
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First off all, I am sorry for the difficulties you have faced in your life. Nobody should have to go through the horrors of sexual abuse.
It is clear that it has taken it's toll on you. You seem to be very down about yourself. That's pretty common for people having being through the type of things you've had to endure. But, no matter what you may think, you are not stupid. None of this is your fault. And you may feel scared but I can assure you that reaching out to people, even on a website like this one, is an amazing act of courage.
The process of healing is one that takes time and steps and by reaching out, you've taken a big one. Perhaps next you can reach out to a close friend, then possibly a school counselor and finally a mental health professional.
But of course to end his terror, you'll have to go to local law enforcement.
Please realize that it is OK to cry. It is unhealthy to bottle up emotions and in going so you are letting them out. The more your release them, the more free you will be and the better you will feel, at least in my humble opinion.
As far as the cutting goes, I would suggest you really try to look at another way to take out your frustrations. Perhaps taking karate lessons or getting involved in a contact sport might help from a physical standpoint. Doing something creative can also be helpful.
Last but not least, I can assure you that your life is more valuable than you realize. And I urge you not to consider suicide. Not only will you lose the chance to live a full and healthy life but you will also let the sicko who did this have the ultimate control over you. A real father doesn't do these things.
Be strong, you can get through this.
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Hi there. Can see you have lots of good advice and info. I can see that you're scared to make that first move and report the abuse to the authorities. That first move is going to be hard, but you have to do it. The vast majority of people, and everybody who works in these authorities, know that it is wrong. Just like you know it's wrong. I promise you, once you make that first move you won't have to face it alone. They'll have your interests at heart in every way and they will take over the whole thing. They are in your corner and have the power to sort it out on your behalf. And sort it out they will. But they have to know it's happenning. And they can't know that unless you tell them. Look up some telephone helplines in your country, re. sexual abuse. Make the call. That's all it takes. It's not up to you to 'keep yourself together' in a case like this. Keeping silent is playing into the hands of your abuser. It's what they want you to do. They'll try to scare you out of reporting it. You have to fight back. And you'll have some powerful help. They won't frigthen or bully these guys once they're on the case, that's for sure. Best wishes mate. X
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Hon, you are not stupid for letting people touch you and not saying anything. Most children and teens are naturally all the way same as far as how their minds and reasoning works. And the adults who prey on children know that!
There are some sexually twisted people who are drawn to, or prefer young children sexually and are child molesters, and others who get the same thing from raping adult women of any age.
In each case it is without consent of the female. And that is wrong. Sex can be wonderful if two people are in love and the female wants her guy to make love with her, not use her for sex in lust against her will. This is wrong and must be stopped.
Even if the men involved are not natural child molesters and you are the only one they've done this with and otherwise they have relations sexually with adult women, it is still wrong and here they take advantage of your age, figuring rightly that most underage kids will keep quiet for several reasons.
I can list a few and see if these ring a bell but in the end, know you are being taken advantage of and counting on you not saying anything.
Why they believe you won't speak up and get help:
You feel other grown ups wont believe you
You feel confused because this is the only life you've known and may feel it must be normal
You feel that perhaps there is something you have done to cause this to happen so you're partly at fault.
You feel too embarrassed to bring up the topic.
You are afraid to ask for help because you fear losing your parents, you fear a parent going to jail or being taken away into foster care.
You fear retaliation from the offenders as soon as they hear you've talked to authorities about this, you fear for your safety, fear being beat up or maybe killed, or the abuse increasing.
You are torn between loving your parent or relative because they are related to you, and not liking what they do to you. So you take no action against them because of this love.
They know most teens have low self confidence and worry about self image and are counting on you feeling the same and therefore not having the gumption/backbone to stand up for your rights to your own body and say something.
They are trusting you will feel that as a child you have no rights, which is totally untrue. You may as a child not own anything and all you have is what is provided by your parents or guardians, but it doesn't mean that you do not own your body. that is the one thing you own that no one else has permission to touch or violate. It is only by your own choice to want to share your body with someone someday if you fall in love. Forcefully taking without permission is stealing something precious from you, your innocense, your virginity which can never be regained. They are committing a terrible crime.
A daughter may be reluctant to tell on her Dad because of his title or profession, he might stand to lose a lot, not just his job, but if he's a teacher, a lawyer, a pediatric doctor, ect...he loses the trust of society forever and may never work in any good profession again, doing menial jobs where he can't earn enough to support the family. And thats a reason for not telling on Dad cus of fear of loss of the provision of your home, food, clothes etc.
Along with this, a fear of having to move in the end, being taken away from the school and the friends you have, separated from pets. Its all traumatic but none of those have the lasting effects of sexual abuse.
As you can see, there's a lot of reason's why they believe you won't say anything. But it needs to be done for it to stop not just with you, but for them to get the professional help they need, and there's one more consideration...
In the mean while, you may not be their own victim, there may be other girls that these males have contact with in thier lives, ones coming of sexual age, or if pedophiles, ones that they are thinking of using sexually. What if you saying something, for your own sake, saves a dozen girls from becoming victims, what if it saves just one another girl. You know how terrible it makes you feel about yourself, how bad it is. Can you truly feel at peace if you knew your female cousins or some of your girlfriends or even unknown girls are being treated the same way? And that like you, they say nothing for the same reasons...everyone hoping someone else will say something so it stops for them too? If you can't say something just for yourself, do it for the unknown girls who may be sexually abused right now because i CAN guaranteed you that at least one if not two of the males who have abused you have done so to other girls and this will all come out once the authorities become aware of it.
Please say something to a female teacher or school counselor. Believe me, as shocking as you may think it is, over their years in school they've heard of a few other cases and know there's many more that girls never share about.
Let me know how it goes for you. I'd love to help encourage along the way dear.
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HI Sweetheart, Let me make one thing perfectly clear; you are not at fault for any abuse you have suffered. No child asks to be abused especially by a parent. Be the abuse be of a sexual nature, physical or mental the person abusing the child is fully at fault.
No one should be touching you anywhere you don't want to be touched and that includes mom or dad. You do not have to let them and what you can do about is very simple. You call 911 and tell the call taker that you are being abused and how you are being abused.
You can do this from home, from school or from a phone booth or cell phone. Tell the call taker where you are and help will be sent to you. You can also go to any fire or police station or any hospital emergency room and ask for help. These are all safe havens for children.
Once you ask for help what will happen is Child Protective Services will be called. They will see to it you are put some place safe, someplace your dad can't hurt you. They will see to it you get help so you don't feel like committing suicide. They will work with the police to see to it you have safe home to return to.
You do not need anyone's permission to call 911 or to go to a fire or police station or a hospital emergency room and ask for help. Neither should you be scared for there is nothing to be scared of. Once you ask for help you will get help that is a guarantee. Show them your cuts, tell them what your dad has done to you.
You are not a stupid 14 year old girl. You just need to know and understand there is help for the asking and you need to do the asking. Once you ask for help things will get better in a hurry. You will be safe and you can start to heal.
It hurts me to read letters like this and it is unfortunate that we get as many as we do. But please understand this. IT is not your fault, you did nothing to cause this to happen to you and you can do something to make it stop. Please so as I have suggested and ask for help.
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Hello, beautiful girl.
You're right. The world is so cruel. But you can stop it, and I assure you, you can.
There are many girls nowadays who get abused from their friends, relatives, and even in their own home. And not just any abuse, but sexually abused. I figured that you are very depressed at the moment especially you are cutting yourself because of the guilt inside of you.
Do you cry every night? Do you sometimes ask yourself why do you have to live in this world? Well darling, don't be afraid to admit it to yourself. I know you are brave. And I know you will never commit suicide. Killing yourself is for losers. And you are not one of them.
There are many girls who are also in the same pace as you are. And maybe by now, they already ended their life. I don't want you to be like them. Ending their life without anyone knowing about what they're going through. So you, my dear friend, need to spill it out before everything is too late.
You need to tell this to someone who you really put your trust into. It may be your mother, your best pal, classmate, teacher, or anyone who you really know. Spill it out, show them how those people messed you up. They will never know unless you tell them truth. Tell them all of the horrible things they have done to you. Don't be afraid and don't be shy because it's a very serious situation. And also, call 911 to get further more help on dealing with this kind of people. In the law itself, they must be put to jail immediately especially this is a case that must be justified.
Close your eyes. Breath in, and out. Then think about all of the things they have done to you. Open your eyes widely and make a smile to your face, and tell yourself, "For now on, I am not that stupid girl anymore. I am brave, beautiful, and amazing. I am not just a fourteen year old girl. I'm a matured and a very special girl. And today is a new beginning." Tell this to yourself, with all of your heart. Time will heal all of the bad memories created on you. And, don't forget to pray for your happiness. Don't forget to say "Thank you" to God. Say thank you because you overcome this challenge. He didn't want you to be ruined like this. But I'm sure he is happy for you. Because you are now holding his hand to the right path.
That's all beautiful girl. The next time someone do this to you. You now know what to do.
From your imaginary friend,
The LittleWoman
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